Entry tags:

author: vamphile, challenge #46: e.e.cummings, epic series: hustler!j/whore in a hoody

Whore In A Hoody
Title: Hustler!Justin L (Whore in a Hoody)
Author: Vamphile
Condoms: 15 To Justin 4 To Brian

|Hustler!Justin | II | III | IV| V | VI | VII | VIII | IX | X | XI | XII | XIII | XIV | XV | XVI | XVII | XVIII | XIX | XX | XXI | XXII | XXIII | XXIV | XXV | XXVI | XXVII | XXVIII | XXIX | XXX | XXXI | XXXII | XXXIII | XXXIV | XXXV | XXXVI | XXXVII | XXXVIII | XXXIX | XL | XLI | XLII | XLIII | XLIV | XLV | XLVI | XLVII | XLVIII | XLIX |

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Hustler Justin L
Whore In A Hoody

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Michael is here with a really buff guy. Emmett is talking to Ted. Lindsay and a woman I assume to be Mel come in, with a bundle of winter clothing that I guess is Gus. They’re saying their hellos. Everything is so loud and then it all stops when Brian moves away from the stairs and they see me. Brian wraps an arm around my waist and steers me forward. “This won’t hurt…much.”

He smiles; he thinks it’s a joke. I realize there’s only one way to get through this. The white noise is my friend. I let myself disappear.


~~~559~~~
I look down and he’s gone. Fuck. I pull him off to the side out of sight of the other guests. I take his face in my hands. “Justin. Justin!” He blinks and smiles. “Is it over?”

“Don’t disappear. Stay here, with me.”

He still looks unsure. I take him out back. Debbie yells after us. “You’ve got eight minutes!”

I light a cigarette. “Stay. You’ll like these people.”

He takes a drag from my cigarette looking at me doubtfully. Eventually he nods, “for you.”

I’d like him to do something for himself. Tonight’s not the night to push it.


~~~560~~~
We go back inside. I sit next to him. Deb never seems to sit down; she circles the table refilling everyone’s glass and plate. I just stare at mine. I can’t keep up with the conversation.

Brian nudges me. I look up at him. “Eat something.”

I shake my head. We’ve had this conversation more than once. I can’t eat when I’m nervous. He pours me a glass of red wine and I gulp it down. He shrugs and then refills it for me.

Everyone seems to be talking. I can’t figure out whom they’re talking to. No one’s listening.


~~~561~~~
After his fourth glass of wine he starts to eat. That’s good. Debbie will have him stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey if she doesn’t see him eat and she’s been watching. So has Lindsay, so has Ben. I thought Michael had decided that the HIV thing was too much to handle. I guess not.

When dessert comes around there’s cannoli and rum cake. I ignore all of it but Justin’s pleasure in the cannoli is fucking pornographic. I laugh and he looks at me. “What? I’ve never had them. They’re really good.” He feeds me the last bite of his.


~~~562~~~
Lindsay glares at me and stands up, tugging at Mel’s sleeve. “Let’s go.”

I don’t understand what I did to upset her. I start to apologize but Brian cuts me off and the two of them disappear together. I apologize to no one in particular.

Emmett reaches out to touch my hand. “It’s not your fault, sweetie.” I don’t believe him.

The cacophony starts back up as though two members haven’t just stormed off angry with each other. I’m scared for both of them and wonder what will happen when they come back. Debbie hands me a piece of cake.


~~~563~~~
“What’s your problem?”

“My problem? Brian, that boy is sick and you’re playing games. It’s disgusting.”

“Lindsay, I’m trying to help.”

“By acting like his boyfriend? I’ve seen the drawings he’s done. He’s in love with you. And Brian ‘I don’t do boyfriends’ Kinney, is leading him on.”

“He’s talented.”

She nods. “He’s got an amazing eye, especially for someone so young, and damaged.”

“You see that too?”

“Brian, those drawings are disturbing.” She takes a drag from my cigarette. “He needs help.”

I nod. “More than I can provide.”

She stares at me and sighs. “Let’s go back inside.”


~~~564~~~
Brian and Lindsay come back and in. They don’t mention their argument. Brian takes Gus and just kind of stares at him for a while. He drapes an arm over my shoulder and leans back. I rest my head on him and just sort of enjoy the smell of food and Brian and baby all combining with about six glasses of Chianti. Several people say goodbye, asking Brian if they’ll see him at Babylon. He shakes his head, never taking his eyes from Gus. “Not tonight.” Everyone seems surprised. I close my eyes. “Brian, you should go.” He just shrugs.


~~~565~~~
Debbie and Vic are cleaning up. Michael stayed to help. Ben is working on some book and went home. I feel Justin pull away from me and tighten my hold a little.

“I should help Debbie.”

“Sunshine, you just sit there and rest.”

“He’s not an invalid, Ma.”

Michael’s right so I relax my grip and Justin carries a few dishes to the sink. Gus reaches out a hand and gurgles. I smile and hand him back to Lindsay, who swaddles him against the blizzard we’re not having. Justin’s laughing at something Michael said. Maybe this wasn’t a bad idea.


~~~566~~~
Michael tells me that he’s never seen Brian be so nice to anyone before. I’m surprised

“Brian’s always nice to me.”

“You must be some kind of boy wonder.”

I laugh. We finish doing the dishes and I can’t help remembering a lot of things, sort of all at once. My father and mother standing together after my sixth birthday. The cake was still on the counter. They were washing something else and I took a big handful, they laughed. Isaac, and one of my clients… fuck. My head starts to feel a little fuzzy.

My knees are rubber. “Brian.”


~~~567~~~
I look up in time to see him crumple.

I’m at his side. His eyes are closed. “What the hell happened?”

Debbie is slapping his face. “He passed out.”

Michael brings me a damp cloth. Vic is calling 911 when Justin opens his eyes. He smiles at me and then frowns. I see his eyes cloud with pain and go blank. Whatever he was thinking about hit him hard. I let him escape. He needs it. Vic says they’re not sending an ambulance. I tell him to call Peter.

Justin’s easily maneuvered when he’s like this. I lead him upstairs.


~~~568~~~
I hear Peter calling my name and try to just ignore it but his voice has that demanding tone it gets when we’re in session and I try to hide. I blink and focus on him. He’s kneeling in front of me. Brian is pacing behind him. “Justin. What happened?”

I shake my head. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t remember but I know it was overwhelming. “Nothing.”

Brian leans in, his nose millimeters from mine. “Don’t lie to me.”

I flinch away from him and he backs up. Leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. Waiting.


~~~569~~~
The way he disappears like that is disconcerting at best. I know how to pull him back but I didn’t think it was safe. I waited for Peter and even then, we both had trouble. Now he’s denying that anything out of the ordinary happened. I swear half the time I spend with him is waiting for him to come back to me.

“My mom and dad used to laugh with each other when they did the dishes.”

What does it say about both of us that I understand why that’s a memory worth escaping?

“Take me back to Southwood.”


~~~570~~~
I can’t believe what I just said but Brian looks so angry. Peter looks worried and I’m clearly more than Debbie can handle.

Brian frowns. Peter smiles at me. “I know you think you’ll be safer there but the memories will come back, no matter where you are.”

I shake my head. He doesn’t understand. “I’m upsetting everyone.”

“Let us decide what we can handle.”

I look at Brian. My eyes feel hot and the tears are coming. He hates that. “What happens when you decide you can’t handle me?”

He doesn’t say anything. Someone knocks on the bedroom door.


~~~571~~~
Deb bustles in, putting clean towels and a plate of cookies on the bed. She pats his face. “You feelin’ better, kiddo?”

He nods. She smiles. His being here won’t help if she believes every lie he utters. I follow her, leaving Peter to explain that we’re not going to abandon him.

Deb turns to face me. “He’s a fucking mess.”

I nod, wondering if Debbie thinks it might be too much.

“He needs to get here as soon as possible. Fuck-all a hospital knows about caring. Hell, when Vic was sick…”

I cut her off, kissing her cheek. “Thanks.”


~~~572~~~
Brian probably went to tell Debbie that she doesn’t have to do this. He comes back in and sits on the bed, pulling me back against him. Peter has an odd expression but I don’t care. I put a hand on either of Brian’s thighs and close my eyes.

“She thinks you need more cookies and a big hug.”

I almost laugh. “I may need more than that.”

“No shit, but it beats staying at Southwood, right?”

I nod, but I’m not sure. The hospital has some advantages. They’ll still feed me and clothe me, even if they don’t care.


~~~573~~~
I look up at Peter who’s staring at what probably seems like a really unhealthy tableau but there’s nothing sexual about it. He doesn’t like to look at me when he talks about things he thinks I don’t wan to hear, which is almost everything about his past or fears for the future. It’s easier this way.

“Justin. We’re not going to abandon you. I’m not going to abandon you.”

He shrugs. “The hospital isn’t so bad”

“Don’t lie to me.” I tighten my arm around his waist, letting him know I mean it.

“It’s not a lie.”

He’s lying.


~~~574~~~
What do you like about Southwood?” Peter is standing at the end of the bed, watching us. I don’t think Brian’s held me like this in front of him in a long time. He seems distracted by it. He might be jealous. Why wouldn’t he want to fuck Brian?

Peter repeats the question when I take too long to respond.

“They don’t bother me, and the don’t remind me of things that hurt.”

“Do you want to stay there?”

I nod. I don’t really but at least they won’t be disappointed in me, the way Brian always is.

“Bullshit, Justin.”


~~~575~~~
“It would be better for everyone Brian.”

“Do you like it here?”

“I don’t know. It’s loud, and I can’t bring…” he stops.

I bite back the fury I feel. “Can’t bring what?”

He shakes his head.

“Clients. You think you’re going back into business?”

“I doubt Peter's seeing me daily for free. Plus the clothes, and Debbie. I owe you a lot.”

"No clients. That’s not up for debate.”

“Just regular ones, Brian. Nothing that…”

I want to scream with frustration. “Justin. You owe me nothing. I told you what I want when it comes to you and sex.”


~~~576~~~
Peter asks me what Brian’s told me about that.

“He wants me to have sex with people I find attractive and would have fun with. He doesn’t want me to charge them.”

“What do you want?”

“I want a big chair under a window, and a bed that’s just mine, but I can’t have that without owing everyone something.”

“Even if it’s a gift to you?”

“Why would they do that?” Peter and Brian both get that expression and I stop talking. I’m making them angry.

“Haven’t you ever wanted to give something to someone you cared about?”

I nod.

Cont...