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Tweak says, "you're such a dorkburger! omg"

vamphile (vamphile) wrote in qaf_drabbles,
@ 2007-12-01 17:16:00

Entry tags:

author: vamphile, challenge #41: justin's hoodie

Challenge #41: Justin's Hoody
Title: Finding A Way
Author: Vamphile
Timeline: 302
Condom(s): Justin

Finding a Way

Brian came and opened his eyes. He was startled to see that it wasn’t Justin sprawled out on the table. He couldn’t even remember why he’d picked this guy. He looked at the hideous green and gray hoody and baggy cargoes. Right. He poured a drink and told the kid to fuck off.

Brian didn’t turn around until the door closed. He stood under the shower for a long time. Hell, if the kid wanted to stay he could have found a way. As Brian leaned against tile, stroking himself, he thought about Justin. Justin had always found a way.

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	pendulumchanges 2007-12-01 10:25 pm UTC (link)
	Oh wow, nice one vamp. Very powerful. So sad. Perfectly IC. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	vamphile 2007-12-01 10:31 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks. i always call that moment a psychotic break. And i mean that in the truest sense of the word. Brian really has lost touch with reality for a minute. he's just surprised when he realizes that it wasn't Justin. He's so broken. I hurt for him. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	vl_redreign 2007-12-01 10:48 pm UTC (link)
	What you said about a psychotic break, I so believe that. The look on his face when he realizes that that isn't Justin, coupled with the identi-trick in 301, Brian was a hurting unit. So good, Vamp. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	vamphile 2007-12-01 10:56 pm UTC (link)
	yeah. he really was just... well, the term flat affect applies when it rarely does. I'd actually say blunted affect not completely flat, but the only emotions we see are pain. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	secretsolitaire 2007-12-01 11:12 pm UTC (link)
	sniffles Poor Brian. Should the timeline be 302? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	vamphile 2007-12-02 12:11 am UTC (link)
	Fuck, why do i keep getting these wrong? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	besamislabios 2007-12-01 11:22 pm UTC (link)
	This is perfect, very sad and painful. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	vamphile 2007-12-02 12:12 am UTC (link)
	thanks. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	_alicesprings 2007-12-01 11:49 pm UTC (link)
	Wow! That was awesome. And sad :( I assume it's 302, not 202, you're talking about? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	vamphile 2007-12-02 12:13 am UTC (link)
	yes, i'm retarded. thanks for the wow. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	sidhe 2007-12-02 12:19 am UTC (link)
	You're trying to kill me aren't you? Very well done. That scene always just kills me since Brian had, as you put it, a psychotic break. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	vamphile 2007-12-02 05:12 am UTC (link)
	it's just... so fucking sad. Brian is gone, just...left the building, gone. when Justin says in 308 "that you'd love me and go on loving me, even when i was gone." yeah... i'm not sure even Justin knows how painfully accurate that was in 301-303 (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sidhe 2007-12-02 05:21 am UTC (link)
	When I first saw that scene, I was so happy since I thought it was the end of Ethan. Realizing that it was Brian's mind, I was just heartbroken for him. I really don't think he had a clue as to how much Brian really loved him, despite the lack of words. I almost can't watch 301-303 because they're so painful to me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

vamphile
2007-12-02 05:56 am UTC (link)

For me too. I mean i love 308 but for me, it gets a little better in 304, they start to reconnect and you see them sort of dancing around what they WERE to one another and trying to figure out what they'll BE.

the thing is, it really is a very short chronological time between 301 and 308, three, maybe four months, tops. But it takes Brian a couple of weeks to get his legs back under him, and once he does... he seems to realize that he needs contact with Justin, no matter what type. Even if they're just discussing Posters for Carnivale.

I believe him in 301 when he says "i hope you get what you want."

i also believe that if you asked him in 304 "do you hope he wants you?" brian would do one of those head dip, long sigh, i'm not answering on the grounds that it'll let you know that i love him like woah.

and see, this is why drabbles are good, because i could spend several thousand words on this, or i could just narrow it down to 100 and get the whole point across.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sidhe 2007-12-02 06:24 am UTC (link)
	I'd read it either way. I like to see how different authors explore that particular arc - not the Ethan/Justin thing, even though that plays into it, but how Brian copes with it. I don't like the ones, however, that turn it into a long, rambling exposition from Brian on how he feels about it rather than doing the IC thing and showing us how Brian is acting. Um, JMHO. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	qaffangyrl 2007-12-02 01:28 am UTC (link)
	stunningly brilliant...though from you, I've come to expect nothing less. ;) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	vamphile 2007-12-02 05:14 am UTC (link)
	nothing like having no where to go but down :P I have watched this scene with Xie and Bunny and discussed it with them, and the fact that the stupid little trick IS wearing that same sweatshirt that brian's picturing...(one we see Justin in at some other point in the show) is what kills me. He's not REMEMBERING. He's gone round the bend. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	qaffangyrl 2007-12-02 05:52 am UTC (link)
	He's gone round the bend. Oh yeah he's totally fantasizing about Justin in that scene. BTW in that first panning shot from the window across the coffee tables...there are two books. Can you make out what they are? (yes I'm obsessed with any hints of Brianness I can get.) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vamphile 2007-12-02 05:58 am UTC (link)
	no, i can't make out what they are, and i almost NEVER notice details, which is why i was surprised that others hadn't noticed that over that really ugly shirt and scrawny chest of the kid who "came buckets" was the exact hoody that Brian had been picturing. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	not_yet_defined 2007-12-02 05:02 am UTC (link)
	very nice...i love episodes 302-307. the want is so tangible in them. love this. thanks. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	vamphile 2007-12-02 05:15 am UTC (link)
	yeah, it's just... it's beyond want. It really starts to seem like need for both of them. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	herefordroad 2007-12-02 06:37 am UTC (link)
	the beginning of 302 was a giant tease...i was so disappointed when it wasn't really justin on the table. i enjoyed your drabble with brian's thoughts: "Justin had always found a way." jeannie (Reply to this) (Thread)

	vamphile 2007-12-02 06:48 am UTC (link)
	He had. Justin got in under the wire because he always found a way to get Brian to keep him around, or come after him. Justin was like that. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2007-12-03 03:10 pm UTC (link)
	This scene is actually one of my favorite BJ-fucks, even though it wasn't Justin. I loved the setting and Brian's weird shirt, the sounds they make and the music, the dynamic of the scene, oh, and the hotness... and that it makes my heart ache for Brian every time I watch it. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	vamphile 2007-12-03 08:21 pm UTC (link)
	I always call it "the best sex never had" it is one of their top ten fucks, except that it's not, because Justin wasn't there. and really, if you watch that scene closely, neither was brian. (Reply to this) (Parent)