InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I WILL NEVER STOP THE TORTURE!"

netlagd (netlagd) wrote in qaf_coffeeclub,
@ 2008-03-08 13:16:00

How old is too old?
In some of the interviews and various written up pieces, there have been comments made about the age of Justin's character and whether he could/should have been younger than 17.

I know initially I was put off by an older man going after a younger man, but eventually, I got past the age difference.

I look at the age difference in the storyline of the show and think, I can accept 29 - because, that's not 30 yet, right?

I think that 30 is a barrier, threshold, whatever. Would I have been as accepting of Brian if he were 31 or 32? of Justin, if he were 16 or 15?

Interestingly, Hunter - do we know how old Hunter is? - appears to be around 16. Granted he's lived on the streets, but why is Hunter a child and Justin an adult?

Does a year really make a difference?

Where does the age difference become too much of a difference?

How old is too old, how young is too young?

(Post a new comment)

kata_ny
2008-03-08 06:43 pm UTC (link)

In the UK series (which I cant stand) `Justin` was 15 and it was still "watchable" and not to childmolester-ish.
For me age different never was a problem neither with Justin and Brian nor in real life.
I dont look at 30 as a great barrier etc. but now I am thinking...maybe I should?its coming for me,and its coming fast...

Hunter was 15 (he had his 16th birthday when he had his party with Ben and Michael).And between 15 and 17 there is so much difference when growing boys are concerned.BTW I love when Justin says this about Hunter at the hustler bar "fucking teenagers I dont know how to put up with them" and the look on Brian`s face?priceless.

so how old is too old?well IMO (stricly mine) until both are comfortable around each other there is no thing as too much of an age difference,just look at Emmett and George.and there are Ted and Blake,I think Blake was a lot younger than Teddy,right?
ok,probably I got carried away,sorry:)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	happier_bunny 2008-03-08 07:02 pm UTC (link)
	You didn't get carried away at all! Justin HAD to 17 at least to make the sex legal in the state of Pennsylvania. Opps, i have to run, but I'll be back to finish this comment. :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

court1429
2008-03-08 07:26 pm UTC (link)

I didn't see the show until right before the final season. I do remember (now) reading a tiny bit about it at the beginning of the series. It was a negative slant, naturally, about the age difference. And I have to say that, generally speaking, a 17-yo "kid" with a 29 or 30 year old "man" seemed extreme. I envisioned my 17 year old with someone 12 years older and, you know, I totally understood Jennifer's point of view! lol

If we didn't get the inevitability and rightness and meant to be-ness of B/J from the show, I think I'd think it was kinda creepy (sexually legal notwithstanding). The UK version making the Justin character 15 most definitely crosses the line for me. That's a kid, I don't care how horny and ready to fuck the kid is, it's still a kid. And generally, that'd be my opinion about a 17 year old, too. Even an 18 year old, who is legally an adult, I think the same thing about, in a way. There's just such a huge ocean of living between someone in their late teens to someone in their late 20s.

Yes, Em & George were much farther apart in years, but they were both real adults with some life experience under their belts. I would be hard pressed to see myself with someone 30+ years older than I am (or 20+ years, for that matter), but that's just me. Anyone else is free to pair up in any way they choose.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	court1429 2008-03-08 07:30 pm UTC (link)
	Should've said it goes the reverse, too. I could go 10 to 12-13 years either way, but 15-20 years younger than me? No way. ;)) (Reply to this) (Parent)

nerilka24
2008-03-08 07:58 pm UTC (link)

In many ways the age difference is less than 12 years - Justin's very intelligent and emotionally pretty well adjusted (as much as any 17yr old, anyway) whereas Brian is still struggling with forming adult relationships.

The age of consent in the UK is 16 - the "Justin" character in the UK series was illegal and I did find that uncomfortable.

Age is such an arbitrary way of measuring competence, given that individuals vary so very much, but I suppose we have to draw a legal line somewhere. Once that age is reached, presuming the individual is mentally competent, and providing there isn't actual coercion, I'm not sure that the opinion of other people should matter.

(Reply to this)

xanister
2008-03-08 09:05 pm UTC (link)

Didn't make me uncomfortable in the least. Canada's age of consent is 14 and I've gone to school with 12 year olds dating 24 year olds. Not that that is "right" morally but I guess it's desensitized me?

I agree with

nerilka24 though. Justin may have been 17 but in some ways he was more emotionally mature than Brian. I'm curious though how old's Blake? I'm wondering if there's more than 12 years difference there.

(Reply to this)

flamencanyc
2008-03-08 09:22 pm UTC (link)

Legally, there is such a thing as too young as defined by whatever jurisdiction one is in. Not going into that here.

In terms of what's too big a difference between two people to make a relationship work? Totally depends on those two people as individuals, and on their chemistry together.

Maturity, being young at heart, mindset, etc. matter more than chronological age. I've met immature brats who were in their 50s, mature sophisticates in their late teens, little old ladies who were really only 35, and people in their mid-70s who were cool, fun, and more young at heart than most people 30 years their junior.

Plus, as one gets older, age matters less. At 13, ten years either way is like a generation. At 40 it's not a big deal.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	nerilka24 2008-03-08 10:35 pm UTC (link)
	little old ladies who were really only 35 oh my yes, my little sister was born old! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	jameserin 2008-03-08 10:03 pm UTC (link)
	In terms of what's too big a difference between two people to make a relationship work? Totally depends on those two people as individuals, and on their chemistry together. agreed. (Reply to this)

jule1122
2008-03-08 10:53 pm UTC (link)

For me there is a big difference between what we see in QAF and "real life." I have said a million times based on what i had read I started watching QAF expecting to dislike the Brian/Justin relationship. Everything I read focused on the age difference and made it sound really like a man having sex with a child. Obviously when I watched the show I didn't feel that way. For those two characters, in their circumstances, the age difference wasn't a problem. That doesn't mean I would feel the same way about a real life couple at those ages. But I think for me even in fiction below 16 would make me extremely uncomfortable even with someone much younger than Brian. I think I am more concerned with the "too young" versus the "too old"

(Reply to this)