|blktauna (blktauna) wrote in primevalathon,|
@ 2009-03-31 20:18:00
|Entry tags:||author: blktauna, genre: gen, year: 2009 spring|
Title: It was a good morning until...
or How Lester got an Excellent Idea (except it wasn't his).
Disclaimer: Primeval and its characters belong to Impossible Pictures. No copyright infringement is intended. This is fanfiction, written solely for love of the show.
Summary: Lester has one of those mornings.
Prompt #2: Lester: "I come into my office this morning to find that Sainsbury's has a three for two offer on Scutosaurus burgers, and both Jamie Oliver and the Prime Minister are demanding to speak to me!"
Lester slammed down the phone receiver and groaned. Bloody Cutter...
"No worries Lester, the incursion was stopped in time, Lester. No, nothing escaped Lester. No one saw anything... Bloody Scots Git!" He snorted and slapped his hand down on the desk, leaping up to pace. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned.
"You... you there." He shouted at the young man shivering at the admin's desk. "Get Cutter and his motley array up here this minute!"
James Lester had a serious problem on his hands. One that could cost them everything. That was... unless Jenny and her amazing breasts could deal with it... His thoughts wandered for a moment as he ruminated on those magnificent examples of feminine pulchritude and how they overflowed that white silk blouse she was wearing, when the sound of boots on the concrete snapped him out of his reverie. Lester straightened his tie and glared at the approaching Scot and his bedraggled crew.
"Well Cutter. Anything to tell me about the little jaunt you took last week to Claverington?" he snapped.
There were furtive glances exchanged between Hart and Cutter. Covering for each other, no doubt.
There was a bit more shuffling then Cutter stepped forward.
"Yes, we had a small incursion there. We had a bit of trouble getting it sorted. Its my fault, I'm sorry. Look, one of the creatures escaped us but the lads have the area cordoned off and its no got past them."
He had to give Cutter credit, the man spread the success but claimed the failures. He'd never make it in the Civil Service. Shame he was a Civil Servant now and not an academic.
"Is that all?" Lester, gestured flippantly, making it clear he was waiting for more.
"Er... yes. Why?"
The man seemed genuinely confused. Cutter didn't bluff as well as he thought he did and there was actual shock in his expression. This didn't bode well. Lester sighed and tapped his finger angrily on the desk.
"Because, Cutter, I come into my office this morning to find that Sainsbury's has a three for two offer on Scutosaurus burgers, and both Jamie Oliver and the Prime Minister are demanding to speak to me!"
Cutter deflated slightly, glancing at Hart who just looked confused and shrugged.
"Shit." Cutter rubbed his hands over his face then looked back to Hart. The lad immediately stepped outside the office and was on the phone speaking rapidly. He came back in shaking his head.
Lester took in the shuffling and shifting between the team members, assessing guilt. No apparent culprit... yet.
"I bloody well want to know what's going on here," snapped Lester.
"I don't know. Unless the anomaly reopened and the detector failed to spot it," Cutter snapped back.
There was a small pause with the nervous shuffle of feet, then everyone looked at Connor.
"No... It's impossible!" the boy sputtered. "There haven't been any failures or outages at all...Not since, you know, the first one..."
Cutter sighed and rubbed his hands through his unruly ginger hair.
"Or the creature broke the cordon. We need to get down there and check. Come on."
Lester's blood pressure rose as Cutter herded his company out of the office and back to wherever it was they lurked. Now to deal with the PM, that was going to be much less unpleasant than dealing with that pushy Oliver boy. Perhaps he could be distracted by a visit from Jenny and her magnificent breasts. He took up his phone and punched in her extension.
Lester watched, mesmerised as Jenny walked into his office. Every possible attribute she owned was perfectly set off and drew the eye. Nothing overt, or even less than superbly tasteful, but obvious and on display none the less. Lester wasn't even particularly enamoured of her yet he found himself periodically staring at her ample curves. She definitely was a master of diversion and spin.
"Well. How did we do?" He gave her on of his 'go team' grins. They both knew it was false but the effort was worth making.
Jenny gave him the eyebrow raised glare at the mention of 'we'. She pursed her perfectly made up lips but they quirked into a small grin to match his. He liked that about her. Both of them knew the game.
"Well, sir," She gave him a look, "I believe I have Mr. Oliver sorted."
"Do you? Please enlighten me."
Lester sat back, fingertips steepled together, eagerly awaiting the tale of her foray to Claverington. Jenny leaned forward and flashed him a dazzling smile. She also very nearly spilled forth from her blouse. No question as to how she got the Oliver boy sorted.
"I told him he'd seen a television programme being filmed," she chuckled, just a bit, then straightened again, all charm off. "He'd seen a trained hippopotamus in makeup that had got away from it's trainer. I showed him some photos of the creature and some faked still of a set. Wonderful what you can do with photoshop these days."
He had to admire her skill. A bit more cleavage and he might begin to believe that himself. Lester smiled with the easy confidence brought on by victory. Jenny's breasts or her manipulation, either way, had convinced the Oliver boy he'd simply witnessed a hippo in costume for some television programme or other and that there wasn't any dinosaur running around in his village. Actually...
"Hmmm. there's a thought. You... you there," he shouted at the admin, "Get someone on the phone from ITV."
That was one way to deal with this mess, get the idiots at ITV to actually start working on some frightening dinosaur show or other. They could fob off any escapees as part of the filming.
Lester sighed as Conner babbled on. Something about data streams and cross site scripting when Abby marched into the office, shoved the babbling student aside and threw a packet of something down on his desk. He peered at it with rather thinly veiled disdain.
"What is that?" he sneered.
Abby folded her arms and stared causing Lester to huff and look at the item on his desk. He squinted at the label of the package of burgers. A package of burgers with a "three for two" sticker and the picture of a dinosaur that only remotely bore a resemblance to a Scutosaurus.
Abby rolled her eyes.
"It's a marketing promotion. For the kids. Not a real dinosaur burger."
"Well that's a relief."
Lester sat back in his chair as Abby's eyes narrowed.
"None of your lot has ever been to a Sainsbury's have you?"
Lester thought for a moment on that and had to admit the likelihood of Captain Ryan or his lads doing the weeks shopping was close to nil.
"No, I imagine not. Why?"
Abby's eyes practically glowed. At times Lester had to admit she was a bit more frightening than some of the creatures they'd encountered.
"You might want to have someone check on reports of Scutosaurus burgers before having the army descend on the shop. I thought you wanted to keep things hush hush."
The girl did have a point. He'd have to send Jenny round to smooth over the Sainsbury's feathers. His lads were eager but not diplomats.
"Well, yes you do have a point. Thank you Abby. I'll take your suggestion under advisement."
"See that you do."
She gave him a snort then turned on her heel and marched out. Just then his phone rang.
"James Lester... yes, hello Prime Minister."
"Lester, is all that business with Oliver sorted?"
"Yes, Prime Minister."
"Good Work. Anything outstanding?"
Thank you... Just Sainsbury's. I'm sending my PR person over. She dealt with Oliver quickly, so I don't see much problem with Sainsbury's."
"Excellent. Give Jenny my compliments. Good-bye."
"Certainly Prime Minister. Good-bye."
Lester sat for a moment after the PM rang off. Well it hadn't been as hideous a day as he'd feared. He sat back, smiling, and took a long, deep breath enjoyed the feel of a good morning's work done.