(Written on a leaflet explaining the library's opening hours and facilities, and tucked in with Sam's laundry.)
Before I was clinging tightly to Mom's hand; We picked out some stories together For her to read to me before bed. Chose something easy I could read you, With my mouth pressed close against her bump, While she stroked my hair and smiled at me. At the desk, they let me stamp the books, And I carried them home.
After Dad was researching, seeking answers. No books for me now. My words were lost. You gurgled in my lap, clutching my Fingers, while I held on tight to you. Heavy books, no pictures, except ones That scared me. Title unreadable. D is for Dean, Mom used to tell me. But it wasn't my name.
Toddler At the desk, they let you stamp the books. You giggled, and smiled at me so wide. I read to you before bed, but I Couldn't do it the way that she could - Couldn't remember the story's end. You dozed off, curled up close against me. I snapped off the light and tried my best To remember it all.
Child I sent you to the children's section And checked over my notes - hastily Scribbled, shaking just like Dad's voice had. Fumbled through heavy books; difficult Words, deciphered with dictionaries. Race against time. You checked out your books While I ran outside to the pay phone. Five rings. Ten. No answer.
Pre-teen You read all the time, disappearing Into a world I couldn't follow Except when I read to you at night. Knew you would soon be too old for that. After school, tried to do my homework, Words twisting and blurring as I read. Librarian asked about my bruise. Didn't go back again.
Teenager You liked the research best, liked helping Though we wouldn't let you near the hunt. Helping without guns and ugliness, Glowing when you found the vital link. You all but lived at the library. Came to pick you up early one day, Found you looking through college leaflets. Backed up, waited outside.
Gone Out of practice; I had to relearn. Thought how you would have liked my laptop, Given it some girly name. Drove through The night. Found you in the library; Circles under your eyes. Longed to make You rest and eat. Slipped away unseen. Always hated me interrupting When you were studying.
Back Made the laptop your own; I didn't Mind giving it up. Buried yourself In books, but kept talking to me. Then Pulled me behind the stacks and kissed me Senseless, until I stopped complaining. Never gonna love them like you do. But I can put up with libraries If you're there too, Sammy.