westernredcedar (westernredcedar) wrote in pervy_werewolf, @ 2008-05-25 10:02:00 |
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Entry tags: | #lmom 2008, author: westernredcedar, kink: legilimency sex, remus/severus |
LMoM: 1979 (Part 25~ July 22, 1979)
Title: 1979
Today’s Date: July 22, 1979
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~1,800
Pairing: Remus/Severus
Kink(s): legilimency sex
Challenge: Lusty Month of May 2008
Summary: 1979: One of the worst years of Remus's life. Also, one of the best.
Today’s Episode: They found Fabian first.
Warning: CHARACTER DEATH
Notes: The possibly insane blpaintchart has agreed to speed beta and Brit pick for as long as she can stand it while I try this…so generous is my Chart!! Anything remotely clever is probably her doing…:) Also, thank you to McKay for running this crazy thing.
Need to catch up? Here are the previous parts: Jan 1, Jan 15: Day, Jan 15: Night, Feb 2, Feb 9, Feb 20, Mar 10, Mar 24, Mar 25, Mar 25: Later, Mar 26, Mar 31, Apr 1, Apr 11, Apr 12, Apr 14, Apr 24, May 5, May 6, Jun 1, Jun 2, Jun 30, Jul 20, Jul 20: Later
They found Fabian first.
The way the two men had fallen in the alley, Fabian’s cloak had draped over the body of his brother, so Gideon was difficult to see until someone went to lift Fabian’s body. Only then did they see the second shock of red hair and his open blue eyes.
Sirius was speaking, telling Remus this, but the words were getting as far as Remus’s eardrums and then turning to gibberish. He couldn’t hear anything now but a white painful hum.
Gideon hadn’t been at home when Remus had stumbled in from the Potter’s wedding, which was odd, but not too troubling. Remus was disappointed that he could not tell him about his adventures under the table, knowing he'd appreciate the laugh.
Remus started to feel a twinge of concern when Gid was not home by midday the next day, so he’d tried to floo-call Fabian, but he was not at home either. It was only after Gideon had been gone for over twenty-four hours without sending word that Remus followed Order protocol and owled Dumbledore, who called in a team to search for him, saying a few comforting words and insisting Remus stay at home, because Gideon was sure to return in the meantime.
Now, three hours later, Sirius, McGonagall, and Dumbledore were sitting here on Gideon’s sofa, softly murmuring some nonsense about Gideon being dead, and not having died in vain, and blah blah blah. Remus couldn’t hear a thing.
It was McGonagall who brought him around, placing her hand on his and squeezing hard, until his bones hurt. He looked into her eyes, moist with tears. In her stern tone, she said, “It looks like they walked into a trap, Remus, set by a group of Death Eaters. Five of their marks were left behind this time." She said this last part with a hint of pride. “It took five of them.”
As he struggled to think of what to say or do, Remus’s gaze settled on Gideon’s half-drunk cup of tea, still sitting on the coffee table from two days before, cold. There was a rushing pounding in his ears, and he was overwhelmed with the desire to stand and pick up the tea cup and rinse it out and put it away, so that it would stop being there.
Sirius grabbed his shoulders as he started to rise. “Just sit for a minute, Moony. This is rough, I know, mate. It looks as if Voldemort is recruiting again, and this large group caught them by surprise. It’s a fucking mess, Moony. It’s a mess.”
Remus looked at Sirius, at those eyelashes and that sorrowful expression, an injured puppy, and Remus knew he was waiting for Remus to make everything all right again.
Voldemort. Recruiting. Five Death Eaters. Tea cup.
He needed to get out. Remus wrenched free of Sirius’s grip as the deep desire to bite raged up in him. “Stop. Talking,” he snarled.
“Remus, just…”
“Get out.”
“He was a good bloke…”
“Get the fuck out of Gideon’s flat! GET OUT!” he screamed at his guests, as loud as his torn vocal cords allowed him, pounding his fists on the sofa.
No one moved.
“Why are you not leaving?” Remus looked from one caring, concerned face to the other, and he heard Gideon's voice saying, I won’t be able to deal with them being upset and sorry for me, Remus.
In later years, he would wonder what hundreds of events might have been different if he had just given in right then and curled up in Sirius’s arms. But he didn’t do that, so there was no point in wondering, really.
Instead, Remus stood up and ran for the door, slamming it open and not looking back to see if anyone was following him, running as far and fast as he could, down the stairs, and out the door, and through the grey streets of the city. He ran until the soles of his feet burned, and his chest felt hollow, and he gasped for air. He couldn't stop running. If he stopped, Gideon might really be dead.
He did not know he was going anywhere in particular until he was there, panting and soaked with sweat, staring up at Severus’s building. He started screaming at the grimy walls before he even knew what he was doing.
“Severus Snape! Get the fuck out here, you fucking COWARD! Severus! I will not stop screaming until you come out and face me! I can howl all night, you bloody traitor, you slimy, greasy git. You cannot ignore me this time, Severus!!”
A few windows opened down the alley, and faces peered out to see what the ruckus was about.
“Severus!!…Severus!! I will not stop…!”
The door swung open and Remus was hit with a silencing spell, and his mouth froze in an O, no more sound coming out. He rushed at the dark figure standing in the doorway, knocking Severus’s wand away and shoving him back into the little foyer of the building, the door slamming behind them. Severus scrambled back onto the staircase, his black eyes wild with anger.
“Are you trying to get me killed, you bloody idiot wolf? What the hell do you think you are doing?” Severus hissed, holding himself still and stiff.
Remus had not seen Severus for almost two months, and suddenly standing in his presence, looking at the face and body and being that he had been imagining every day, he was hit with a wave of terror. The feeling stopped him in his tracks, and he couldn’t breathe.
“Tell me you didn’t know,” Remus said, slowly, as Severus’s spell wore off. His voice was hoarse from screaming.
“What are you talking about?” Severus asked. He was wearing a loose black robe and an apron, and his hair was pulled back. He had been working, Remus thought.
“Just…tell me you weren’t there. That you couldn’t have…stopped it.” Remus felt his control slipping. He could smell Severus’s sweat, and the cool scent of whatever potion he had been brewing.
Severus eyes bored into him with frightening intensity.
Remus fell apart under his searing gaze. “Just tell me…please…tell me…tell me it wasn’t…” Choking sobs erupted from deep in his belly, and he grabbed the wall to keep himself from falling over.
Without speaking, Severus strode down the stairs, grabbed Remus’s hand in his cool grasp, and pulled him, stumbling and blind with tears, up the stairs.
Severus pushed through the door to his room, dragging Remus behind him. As soon as the door was closed, he spun around and grabbed Remus up in a crushing embrace, one arm on his back, and his other hand at the back of his neck, pulling him close. Surprised and near collapse, Remus’s arms hung at his sides for several moments and he sagged against Severus before he thought to wind his arms around him and let the wracking sobs pour out of his body.
The storm passed, and Remus let his body go quiet, a slow hand stroking his back.
Severus finally spoke. “Your friend Gideon is dead.”
Oh gods. “How do you know?”
“I’ve been studying a new magic. I saw it. In you.”
“In me?”
“In your mind. It was not difficult.”
Remus pulled his head back to look at Severus. “You saw into my mind?”
Severus ignored the question. “Lupin, I wasn’t involved in his death. I was only told this morning that there had been a murder.”
Remus’s knees shook. “I need to sit.”
He untangled himself from Severus and fell over onto the bed, immersing himself in Severus’s scent, absolutely exhausted from his emotional outburst and his long run and the effort of pretending all of this was not happening. Oh fuck. Gideon.
The mattress sagged as Severus sat down next to him.
“You can read minds now?” Remus said into the bedclothes, his head throbbing.
“I’m learning.”
“Shouldn’t you keep that a secret?”
Severus was quiet for a long time. “I’m also learning to block others from seeing into my mind and reading my thoughts.” He touched Remus’s hair. “You should learn as well.”
Remus turned over to look at Severus. “Why?”
“Because no one can ever find out about this.” Severus leaned down and touched his lips to Remus’s, gently at first, and then deepening the kiss until he was pressing Remus back into the mattress and overwhelming him with his focus and intensity and need. The kiss exploded in Remus, and obliterated their last months apart, and he didn't care any more about the danger or the confusion. He just wanted this.
“Fuck, Severus. Where have you been? Why didn’t you contact me?” Remus asked when Severus moved down his body, sucking and licking his neck and collarbones.
“Too dangerous.”
“And now that I have run screaming to you thinking you might be a murderer, you want me back?”
Severus met Remus’s questioning gaze. “I didn’t ever not want you back.” It was as close to a declaration as he had ever made. Remus’s heart accelerated.
“I’m a mess, Severus. I can’t even think. I shouldn’t be doing this right now,” Remus said, wriggling his shoulders to help Severus pull off his shirt.
“Neither should I,” Severus replied, and kissed him again.
They took it slowly this time, and each movement of their bodies seemed to have a weight, a gravity to it that was new, that had never been between them before, the touch of their skin and hands and mouths and cocks heavy with meaning. A small part of Remus's mind knew that his intensity was fueled by grief and pain, but that only made him want to press closer, grip harder, not let go. The room was filled with grunts and moans and the tangy smell of their sweat. When Severus lay back, and opened himself for Remus, Remus practically fell into him.
“Are you in my mind now?” Remus gasped, once he was deep inside Severus, thrusting and pounding and trying to get in, become a permanent part of him. Severus was arching beneath him, slick with perspiration, his eyes were focused again with that probing intensity.
Severus gave a subtle nod without breaking eye contact. Remus groaned.
"What do you see?" Remus asked.
Severus shook his head, but kept his eyes fixed, and then, for the first time, Remus could feel the connection, like a soft hand reaching into his mind. A stream of images poured out of him in haphazard disarray: Sirius pulling him up for a waltz, James's angry cock in his mouth, Gideon smiling, running naked at the beach, Severus, looking up at him from a dark booth at the Hog's Head, Severus, pressing him into the mattress with his kisses, Severus, his face a mask of desire, coming all over his belly. Over it all though, he felt Severus digging into the fresh pain of losing Gideon, his rage and denial and terror, his desire to hurt and bite and wound, and Remus couldn't stop him from seeing it. He didn't want to.
Severus was in him, learning him, while he was in Severus, making him his, and it was too much. Remus cascaded over the edge, hard, his climax ripping through his exhausted body. He collapsed down onto Severus's moist skin, his chest tight, and started to sob again.
They lay in a messy tangle until Remus's sobs subsided and Severus's breathing had returned to normal.
Severus spoke very quietly. "You want revenge. For Gideon. "
Until that moment, Remus had not been sure what he wanted.
"Yes."
They stayed quiet, and Severus stroked Remus's hair.
"Look at me," he finally said, with a firm resolve in his voice, and Remus met his gaze once more.
An image appeared in Remus's mind, a face, one he knew well, so familiar, but also subtly different. He gasped.
"Is that who...?"
"That is all I can give you," Severus said, breaking the connection between them, and rising from the bed. "I need to work." He pulled on his robe and lit one candle, sitting down at his table and picking up a silver chopping knife. "Don't ask me for more." He grabbed a handful of herbs and started chopping them into tiny, even pieces.
Remus curled on the bed and watched him work, his mind spinning.
The face Severus had shown him, so like Sirius, but so different, was Regulus.
Regulus.