|perhin (perhin) wrote in perhin_fics,|
@ 2008-04-23 12:23:00
|Entry tags:||harry potter, humor, rated g, rita skeeter|
The Former Minister Tells All
Title:The Former Minister Tells All
Summary:Rita Skeeter interviews the former Minister of Magic.
Later, this Friday, I, Rita Skeeter, talked with the former Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge. I interviewed him at the Leaky Caldron, a favorite place of the Minister.
After a light lunch, I began asking the Minister what were his thoughts on the new Minister in his place. He sniffed and held back a tear and said, "He-he will do a fine job I suppose. He is a vampire. He'll be there longer than I ever would and w-will do a much better job of it, too!" He began to cry, and grabbed for the table cloth. I patted his hand and asked another question.
"What are your thoughts on Harry Potter?"
"H-harry Potter? He's like the plague! Everywhere he goes death fallows him. Personally, I think it's because he's secretly in with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," he said in a sad whisper. "Not good at all! He probably killed Cedric Diggory to claim the cup as his own." A good guess, but we all know Cedric was the rightful winner, and they both jumped for the cup and poor Diggory was killed while Harry watched on, knowing the consequences he brought over that boy for nothing but a cup and cash reward.
I stopped while Fudge blew his nose once more on the table cloth before us. I ushered to Tom, the owner of the run down building he calls the Leaky Caldron, to bring some tissues and more tea to the poor, old man
"And Albus Dumbledore?"
At the mention of these mere words, he bawled and scared a witch in the corner with her poodle. It was a devastating scene. He grabbed the cloth more and eventually pulled it off the table, tea and all. The Minister had to leave sadly, so I went to his old co-worker Kingsley Shacklebolt, who fought in the battle at the Department of Mysteries, the very one that Harry Potter lead.
He refused to talk to me, but after a few minutes of persisting he agreed to talk to me, saying that before that he was shy and that he was afraid to talk to a beautiful lady such as myself. I was modest and said that he was handsome as well. He winked and we sat inside his office. As I asked before to the former Minister, I asked his opinion on Harry Potter.
Kingsley coughed, saying that the young man was a delinquent and should be made to live with muggles for all of the trouble he's caused. I couldn't agree more. He also said that Harry Potter should spend a limit of ten years after living with the muggles for twenty. I gasped at such and thing, but he was right. Harry Potter should pay for Albus Dumbledore and for what he's done to our beloved Minister of Magic.
"And what do you think of Fudge?"
"Fudge! He's the best, really," Kingsley said. "He was hard-working, caring, just a wonderful person all around. And now we have a blood-sucker in our midst. I'm afraid I'll be eaten if I've got to work late at night! It's scary here now. A lot of the workers at the Ministry are thinking about quitting, because of the dangers. Many of them are afraid they won't come home again."
Shocking. And all of this wouldn't have been happening is it wasn't for Harry Potter. As Kingsley said, the problem would have been non-existent if he had never come to our world.