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12:06:57 AM web of spiders: Getting drunk wasn't really Eben's style but he went out with one of the guys from work on his birthday and a few drinks turned into a few too many. Instead of going home he headed to Riley's. He'd had his address from the the paperwork he'd done when Riley left and he was just drunk enough to think that it was a good idea to go over there. When he got there he knocked on the door and he looked around to see if there was anyone around in the apartment complex.
12:12:20 AM Me: Riley, too, was drunk, but that was in fact, his style. He'd already found a new job and met new people and was going out more trying to forget Eben since he certainly seemed to want to forget Riley. On this particular evening, he was home, drunk, 'entertaining.' But his company was not his usual stranger, this time it was a girl. He'd been back on the gay-in-denial kick and this time he was taking it to extreme's. Where before he'd only get head from girls, he was going further, getting naked with them and feeling around. Tonight he was pretty sure he was ready to seal the deal. Just as he was getting ready to lead the girl from his only, lonely couch, to his bed, there was a knock at the door. She had begged him to not to answer, but he was begging for a distraction anyway because he wasn't as ready as he thought he was. He headed quickly to the door, in nothing but his undone pants and boxers and opened it, having to take a step back when he saw Eben. "Eben..." He murmured, surprised, but then remembered their most recent discussion and narrowed his eyes, "What?"
12:18:46 AM web of spiders: Eben pushed his way inside without an invitation. He could see that Riley was already mostly undressed and he groped at him as he walked past. "I missed you." he slurred as he leaned in to kiss Riley. When he turned and saw the girl on the couch, he paused and raised one eyebrow. "who is your girlfriend." he pulled away from him and started towards the girl.
12:23:03 AM Me: Riley couldn't help it, when Eben groped him, he pressed into the others hand, letting out a small gasp. It just felt so much better to be groped by someone he actually found attractive. He was, however, caught off guard by the kiss and his eyes immediately shot to the girl on the couch who looked thoroughly confused by the exchange. He moved as Eben walked in, closing the door, though he hadn't invited him in to begin with. He grabbed Eben's arm when he started for the girl, pulling him back. "What's your name?" He asked her, nodding toward Eben. "Rebecca..." The girl answered, eyebrows furrowing at the question, "What's going on?" Riley pulled Eben back toward the door, having to hold his pants up with his free hand. "You need to leave." He mumbled.
12:26:58 AM web of spiders: Tugging his hand back away from Riley, he started over to the sofa. "Rebecca huh. Becky." Eben laughed and he just walked around the side of the sofa and smirked at her. "Your little girlfriend, Riley? Can you get it up long enough to stick it in." he laughed a little bit. "Were you picturing me?" After all the time he'd spent with assholes he picked up things to say to make it hurt. "Sorry sister but you like the proper equipment for homebody to really be interested."
12:32:26 AM Me: "It's Rebecca." The girl replied to Eben when he called her Becky, that clearly being a sore point with her. Only now did Riley realize that Eben was drunk. Yeah, it was a delayed reaction, but it didn't help that Riley was also drunk. He shifted on his feet at the comments the Eben was coming up with. "Eben... You're drunk. You don't know what you're talking about." He mumbled, walking over to the girl, who was really just sitting in her bra and skirt. He took her by the arm and pulled her up easily. "Go wait in my room... This won't take long." He mumbled to her, glancing at Eben and gave her a quick kiss, just to show off, he added a little smack to her ass as she headed where she was told. Once she was behind the door, he made his way over to Eben, grabbing him by the arm, "Just what in the fuck do you think you're doing?" He growled.
12:39:21 AM web of spiders: "I came over to apologize." He laughed in Riley's face. "Can you fucking believe that? I came over here to tell you that I was sorry. You of all people. And here you are looking to get your dick wet with some fucking slut from some bar." He laughed again. "I am so fucking stupid. You are just like Logan! You are just like Logan and every guy I have ever been interested in. I am so dumb. Have fun with Rebecca." He waved his hands like he was done with this and he turned to go.
12:44:37 AM Me: Of course at this, Riley frowned. He didn't liken himself to Logan or any other bad guy that Eben had ever been with. He much preferred when Eben saw him as the good guy in everything. He shifted on his feet and let out a sigh. "Eben..." He groaned, grabbing him by the arm before he could get too far. "Stop that... stop walking away... stop dismissing me so quickly." He kept a tight grip on the others arm, looking him over. "First of all, you know I'm not going to let you leave drunk, in the middle of the night. Second... It's... I needed a distraction. Something to forget you. Because you seemed like you wanted to forget me." He pulled him close, running a hand through the others hair, "I'm so happy you're here... that I get to see you." Oh, Riley was still stuck in the closet, but the girl was safely tucked away in his room, and Eben still was everything he wanted, the object of his severely denied affections.
12:50:38 AM web of spiders: "No, no you don't get to be happy that I am here. If you need a distraction then move your ass to the bedroom and you go fuck that girl and just forget about me." he tried to pull himself free, wiggling away from him. "You can't give me anything, you aren't willing to even try. The second it gets hard to start fucking around. I really doubt that she's the first since me."
12:57:44 AM Me: Riley was stumped. It had been so easy to sweet talk Eben before and now, it wasn't. He just stared at him for a moment, trying to come up with something, anything he could say to make this easy without making any clear admissions. But he was stumped. Maybe it was the alcohol. "You... from the beginning I told you this would be hard for me and I'd need time... that I'd have mood swings and you said you understood... But the other day you just fucking wrote me off. You want to talk about not caring? Eben, you're the only guy in four fucking years that I was willing to give it all up for." He let go of his arm and started picking up Rebecca's clothing, looking to Eben. "Stay there." He demanded and headed to his room, holding his clothes out. "This is actually going to take so much longer than I thought, you need to go." He said to her, holding out the articles, but kept a keen eye out to watch Eben, making sure he didn't leave.
1:01:56 AM web of spiders: Eben was seconds away from walking but for the moment he just stayed, absolutely fuming. When Rebecca went walking out he glared at her the whole way to the door and then he turned back to look at Riley again. "I said I would be understanding, I didn't say I would roll over and take it whenever you wanted to be a prick. I didn't say I wouldn't get moody back. And I certainly didn't say I was going to sit around while you fucked every girl in Brooklyn just to prove you weren't gay. Newsflash! You're a faggot!"
1:07:32 AM Me: Rebecca wasn't exactly happy that she had to leave. Riley couldn't really say he wasn't relieved. He had been scared to death on his way to the room so he was very grateful to have Eben show up. Perfect timing, too. The argument though, just had him increasingly angry. From the second they started fighting, he was getting mad. And now, it was getting to his breaking point. He was so much quicker to anger when he was drunk. Eben's next argument had him clenching his fists and by the time he got to the word 'faggot' Riley threw a punch. He instantly regretted it though and dropped his hands, wide eyed. "Oh fuck, oh shit, Eben..." He sputtered, reaching out to grab him. "Eben, fuck, I'm sorry." The words came out before he could even think about them and it didn't even matter because he meant them. One of the very rare times he actually did. "I'm so sorry, please..." He wrapped both his arms around Eben, pulling him close.
1:10:39 AM web of spiders: Both of Eben's hands went up to cover his face and he felt his nose gush blood from the punch. He would have gone straight down because his knees instantly gave out, but Riley had both arms around him and he kept him from falling. There were no words for several heart beats and then he let out this god awful whine. "You broke my nose!"
1:15:17 AM Me: Riley closed his eyes tight, just holding Eben close for the while that there was silence. The whine, though, made him pull back and sure enough, there was blood. A lot of it. "Fuck... fuck..." He groaned, picking Eben up and brought him to the couch. "Sit down... no, lay down... I'll be right back." He mumbled, a hand running through his hair as he started off toward the bathroom. He was sure he hadn't broken the others nose, there was no way, he was pretty sure he hadn't hit him hard enough. But he was panicked and what if... what if he had? He scrambled around the bathroom, getting a towel, an entire roll of toilet paper and the trash can to collect everything. He headed back to the couch, setting everything down and made his way to the kitchen. This wasn't a great way to be, drunk and panicky. He filled up a ziplock bag with ice and headed back to the living room, sitting down on the table, chewing his lip. "Here..." He mumbled, holding out the paper towels. "We'll get the bleeding to stop, ice the shit out of it, then I'll make sure if it's broken or not." He let out a shaky breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "I'm so sorry..."
1:22:12 AM web of spiders: If Eben had had half a mind he would have gotten up from the sofa and he would have just walked out. But right now the pain in his face was taking him out of his mind. When Riley came back he would have glared but his eyes were already shutting from the tears and from swelling. Eben couldn't even pull his hands away from his face. "Why did you hit me?" His voice was still high pitched and sort of whiney.
1:25:56 AM Me: Riley shifted on the couch, bunching up the toilet paper and held it up to Eben's nose, just wanting to stop the bleeding. He noticed the swelling and grabbed the ice, placing it gently over the bridge of the others nose. "I don't know... I just got so angry it was instinctual." He mumbled, looking him over. "I'm sorry... I really am, Eben." He stayed silent for a moment, just trying to get the other cleaned up and the swelling to go down.
1:34:43 AM web of spiders: Eben's eyes closed and he let out a shaking breath as his shoulders trembled and he started to cry. He managed to keep it short and he kept himself from getting too emotional. "You really are like Logan." he muttered, the words coming out before he could stop them. Eben shoved the kleenex up under his nose and he took the ice from Riley to hold it in place.
1:38:34 AM Me: Riley shook his head, frowning as Eben took everything away from him. "No...no Eben, I'm not." He mumbled, moving to sit on the edge of the couch. "I'm sorry, I am... and it's never going to happen again, I swear it. I'm not going to do it again." He leaned in, pressing a kiss to his lips. "I'm going to be better. Fuck, please, I really didn't mean to do this, I'm just drunk." He began to breathe a little heavier when Eben cried, still shaking his head. It wasn't like Riley, but within the few moments after Riley had started crying, when he was trying to explain that no, he wasn't like Logan, he too began to cry.
1:46:59 AM web of spiders: There was blood on Riley's mouth from the kiss and Eben just sat there, practically staring at him. He hadn't seen Riley cry before and it really just threw him for a loop as he watched. They were both drunk but the blood and ice was sobering. So were the tears. Riley tried to force himself to stop crying but he was having a lot of trouble with it. "I can't just wait for you to change and I won't sit idly by while you sleep with other people just to be even more denial than you were before."
1:51:51 AM Me: Riley just couldn't stop crying. He was overwhelmed with the guilt of punching Eben. He couldn't remember the last time he'd apologized to anyone and actually meant it, but that's how guilty he was feeling. Enough to apologize. He didn't notice the blood on his lips. He was drunk enough that he couldn't really taste anything and the blood mixed with his tears anyway. He nodded at what Eben said, wiping at his eyes. "I know..." He sobbed softly, trying to take a few deep breathes to calm himself down. It worked, he was still crying, but it was just small tears streaming down his cheeks rather than full on sobbing. "I know... I'm not going to sleep with other people... but-but, you told me to... And I didn't even actually sleep with any of them... I couldn't do it."

I'm kind of impressed with myself. :D

You know how sometimes people on your friendslist post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute. Since when were they working there? Since when were they dating him/her? Since when?" And you wonder how you could have missed all of that seemingly standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification, because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy the topics below, erase my answers and put yours in their place, and then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration. One-Word-Answers seldom help anyone out.

( all the deets about me )

11:50:45 PM web of spiders: Logan Cassidy had been born and raised in Texas. With the exception of traveling for football games and the few spring break trips to Tijuana, he'd never really been out of Texas. For that reason, New York was more than unsettling for him. But he was here for a reason and that was to find Eben. When Eben left he had asked Logan to go with him, but for the sake of hiding his own homosexuality he'd declined and told him he wanted nothing to do with him. Now, months later, out to his parents, he had come in search of Eben. It took him a while to track down the right book store but when he got there he went right up to the info desk. "Is Eben here?"
11:51:26 PM Me: [damn he has the same name as riley too?!]
11:51:56 PM web of spiders: oh i didn't even think! nmake it logan... reid?]
11:52:31 PM Me: [haha no its okay! they can have the same last name. it adds intrigue and something riley can use against eben :]
11:54:12 PM web of spiders: lmao]
11:57:06 PM Me: It was Riley's first day back at work from his vacation and it was already the worst day ever. Of course, Eben was working and he had to do everything he could to avoid him. He had stationed himself at the info desk, helping a customer and when he was done, just stayed there, trying to keep himself entertained. He could pretend he was working, too. At the moment, he was busy thinking up new rumors to start about Eben when someone walked up to the info desk. He had intended on ignoring them or telling him he'd be right with them then walking away but he'd asked about Eben so Riley's attention was all on this guy. "Why? Who's asking?" He demanded immediately, already sizing the guy up. He didn't look like Eben's date from the other night and Riley considered the possibility that someone else had tried to pick Eben up while he was gone. But this guy didn't really seem like Eben's type. He looked nothing like Riley did.
12:04:10 AM web of spiders: "I'm a friend of his from back home." Logan leaned against the info desk and he smiled at Riley, giving him a big one because he knew now that Eben was here. This was the third store he had been to and now he knew he was in the right place. "Why don't you just get on that little walkie talkie of yours and send him on out here so I can see him."
12:09:02 AM Me: On the words 'back home,' Riley's eyes began to narrow. A friend from back home? The only person that Eben had ever mentioned was his ex. Riley turned back to the computer screen and started to do his best at pretending to look something up so that his emotion's wouldn't show, missing the big smile that was flashed at him. It wasn't but a moment later before he was asked, no, commanded to call Eben to the desk. His eyes flicked back to the stranger, narrowing again. "Eben isn't here." He spat, hand tightening on the computer mouse. Riley wasn't an idiot, he knew who this was and there was no way he would let him see Eben. He was afraid that Eben would pick this guy over himself.
12:17:26 AM web of spiders: "Now I don't think that's the truth but if you want I can ask someone else." He pushed off of the info desk and he made his way over to the registers to have the girl behind the counter there ask for Eben. She was sort of a dits and he charmed her quickly into saying he was there and into asking him to come up to the front of the store.
12:21:15 AM Me: Riley said nothing, he just watched as the guy walked to the registers and ask the girl. He silently cursed her, swearing to get revenge later. He'd never liked her anyway. He decided to stay behind the info desk for this encounter. He knew he wasn't going to like it. It just wasn't fair that this had to happen at work where he couldn't just take the guy out now, throw him a swift punch and just get to him before Eben did. He huffed softly, his hand rolling though his hair as he pretended to work on the computer, just waiting for Eben to come out, to see what happened. Maybe Eben hated him now, maybe Eben would do the work for him.
12:25:08 AM web of spiders: Eben came out of the back room and he headed up for the desk, not sure what was going on. When he saw Riley at the info desk he said nothing and just kept on towards the reg. When he saw Logan he stopped, his pace slowing until he wasn't moving. Logan just grinned and came forward, wrapping his arms around his slender waist to lift him up off of the ground. "Damn, I missed you, Baby." he kissed him and gave him aslow spin before putting him back on his feet.
12:29:20 AM Me: Eben's reaction wasn't quite what Riley was hoping for. He definitely didn't come out swinging, but Riley was smiling nonetheless. He hoped that the slowing meant at least something good for him. He did not, however, approve of the way Logan went straight for the object of his severely denied affections, or how he called him baby, or kissed him and spun him. That wasn't okay and he unconsciously was gripping the mouse again. Eyes narrowed, he silently hoped for Logan's sake that he cooled it with the touchy feely shit or he'd regret ever even thinking about this trip.
12:33:54 AM web of spiders: Eben wasn't sure what to make of Logan being there and he let out a little surprised yelp as the boy took him off of his feet. "Logan... What are you doing? Why are you here?" He didn't know if being around him was such a good idea in front of Riley. "I changed my mind about what I said, baby. I want to be with you, I came here so we could be together like you wanted."
12:38:53 AM Me: Riley's faded smile returned when he heard what Eben said. It definitely sounded like he didn't want this Logan around. But he heard what Logan said, too and he knew Eben was a sucker for sweet talk. This wasn't good. He slammed in the keyboard tray, not caring if it caught anyones attention with the loud bang it made. This wasn't okay. He needed Logan to leave now. His fists were already clenched at his sides, but at least he was still trying to convince himself the need to explain after punching this guys lights out wasn't worth it.
12:55:47 AM Me: [poke?]
12:56:04 AM web of spiders: im replying, i just had to get up and it took time]
12:56:10 AM Me: [oh ok!]
12:57:14 AM web of spiders: Eben glanced over at Riley and when he saw the look on his face he just frowned at him. He still had his hands on Logan's shoulders and he looked up at him. "I don't know that this is such a good idea, I can't really talk to you right now i am working. Is there someplace I can meet you after?" Logan kissed him on the lips and then smiled down at him. "I haven't found a hotel yet, I thought I'd crash with you." Eben tried not to look too uncomfortable at that. "Okay, you can. I can give you my keys and you can just go there."
1:02:57 AM Me: Riley was already making his way to the registers, if just to keep his presence known by this jackass. It was obvious that Eben knew he was there, but Logan just didn't seem to understand to ran this show. His eyes locked on Eben when Logan said he was going to crash with him, narrowing. And he only got more upset when Eben agreed. Where the hell was he going to sleep? Certainly not in the bed with Eben, that's where Riley slept. He finally made his way closer and stood, leaning against the counter watching Eben. "What are you doing after work?" He asked the cashier, the girl who he already hated, he was just making small talk now, trying to make it seem like he wasn't up here for any particular reason than to chat. He didn't take his eyes off Eben, though. "Um, going home..." The girl retorted, she didn't much care for Riley either.
1:09:53 AM web of spiders: Eben gave Logan his keys and wrote down the directions to his place down so that he could head there until Eben got off. Logan wrapped him up in another hug and then kissed him long and hard before he pulled back and headed out. Eben stood there at the info desk, completely unsure of what to even do with himself. This was certainly unexpected.
1:13:29 AM Me: Riley watched the rest of the exchange, the keys and the address, all while the girl behind the register babbled about 'didn't Riley hate her?' and 'she didn't like him much anyway so why was he even talking to her?' She was still going on when Eben and Logan kissed. That was it. He waited until they parted and got a glimpse of Eben's face. "He's dead." He mumbled, not loud by any means and spun to follow Logan out, catching him just outside the door. "If you know what's good for you, you'll stay the fuck away from Eben's place." He growled as he pulled Logan around by the arm.

My punishment for not writing shit down lately has been being the one and only He-man. My bones are on verge of collapsing with so much weight. And you know what? That's all fine with me. No comedic timing going on right now because there has to be a seriousness sometime. Especially now. The holiday season is one that brings sweet frickin memories. Some of those memories are craptastic but right now I'm enjoying the ones I can create with ones I have in my life currently. There hasn't been a doubt about making certain moves at this point in my life. I want the best for my woman, and child. As well the best for the rest of my crazy family. Yes Dad included. Now moving back to the east coast, I feel that maybe there won't be these doubts that things won't be okay. For a while now, I've been taking in a lot of stress so Gen wouldn't worry herself about the position I sort of feel responsible of putting us in. I was promised with the move to San Diego, that there would be security in the job that I took a pay cut for. The benefits were the same but a little less than what I was making back in Chicago. Even my dad was having a difficult time with his own business matters so imagine myself trying to ask him for a kick down? Nah, it wasn't about to work out that way. I kept most of that shit to myself knowing that it was my job to begin with to keep things in order. I personally wanted to see Val and Gen happy but in some terms didn't think they were. By my own incapabilities by providing a level of comfort that they couldn't get while we were staying with Mom. I love that woman dearly but having to see her face day in and day out with her nagging, and telling me what a fucked up thing I was doing, all behind my back? I couldn't take it much longer. Yeah shit was moving slowly, and yeah I was juggling two jobs to save up so we all could be in or own home. It's just..I felt it was time to let go and go where the real money was going.

That plus other factors had us all make this second big move again. I still feel shitty for having to make such a decision, because there was a connection back in San Diego. I've lived there for some years before leaving for L.A. then Chicago. I really do not miss the windy city either but due was made in that place. I think these different experiences, whether it was me being a douche on going from one job to the next, or not exactly fulfilling what my parents wanted me to be, has given me a sense of not wanting to be in that place. I'm trying here. Trying to not fall back into old habits, because there's a family here. One that I can't see being without and that's me on my precious moment. Fuck. Whatever you want to call it. I think about my kid a lot. What steps or things done as a person will effect her. Then there's Gentry. That's my woman, the person who I never expected to have run into again. And these two came at a critical stage in my life. A time where there was no good outlook of where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. All the time there was this constant degrading of me not owning up to much other than being that dude who would not be much of a bum. Now who wants to live up to that? Who wants to be around someone like that? I made these promises that are not farfetched and pray I stay true to them. This is why I work hard as I do and I do it for myself and most importantly my family. The one I have is great and I couldn't ask for more because being greedy doesn't get you anywhere but being shit out of luck. There are a few implications that might hurt me as a man, and it isn't anyones fault. It's just an unfair situation, that can teach of what has been given thus far is all that is needed.

I've tried to be there as a companion for G, when there was the news about some personal shit she wasn't too thrilled with. It almost killed me that she had to be moving with that pain. I can't feel what she feels but had to put myself there as someone more than just her guy so she could feel safe and shit like that. It was a weird atmosphere for a while. I was discouraged about not being able to help her get out of this funk. What a failure right? Normally we have this chemistry that I haven't had with any other broad before. And when we were younger, it was there. When we found each other initially, it was there. Now, it is there, only difference is I want it to be better than it ever was. Despite the inability to make this family grow with another thing 2 errah thing 3, her happiness as well as Val's really just comes first. I meant to speak to Nikki about the matter but I know the kid was dealing with her own shit. Much wasn't needed but when there aren't one person to help talk about it I just turned to the big guy upstairs. Yeah yeah, yuck it up. I haven't been to mass in years and don't plan on going but some times, man..there just has to be some form of validity by a different power that you can't get from another human being. Some of my pals I'll miss. My sis yeah I'll miss her crazy ass. Mom, not so much. That'll be worked out eventually but yeahhhhh. This new town might be what is needed. I can't say for sure if it's the place I want to raise a family in but it will do for now. There's always commuting back and forth for work in the city. I miss Pop's penthouse and will try to obtain a piece of that investment. That means brown nosing, right? Fuck. Screw that. I'll make a way some how. A getaway.

I'm sitting in this house right now wondering where to start. What to do and how to fix everything so the transition is as simple. A lot of our things that have been shipped hasn't arrived yet. I still have shit in Chicago that's in storage that I might want to just sell. Forget about it all and just continue to start new. New furniture, new everything. And a new flea collar for Sprinkles. That fucking rodent of a dog. He'll get a brother or sister soon as I find a cool breeder or something. The animals I can do but if it's anything like a rodent or a bird that shits everywhere? I cannot do it. I really can't. I ran from this big guy yesterday after snatching his Wii controller and game set that was on sale at Target. Blame the thrill of Black Friday. Thank God, G had the car running because this man was fast for a fat fuck. Really fast. 3AM waiting? I do not know what I was thinking agreeing to this scheme. Last year trying to shop for gifts, I got into a fight that wasn't real cool. This year I almost was ran over by a golf cart. It was a weird day overall but I feel that everything was checked off the list of shitastic things that we really don't need but all for the sake of it being on sale, it was purchased. I'm thinking about working out some plan with the owner of this place to lower down the rent some. It will help at least. Do odd jobs around here that needs to be done. I don't know but I'm tired of being a poor sap with this shit. 5000

I should've gone back to Seattle for Thanksgiving. Of course, hindsight is always 20/20. I'm going back for Christmas, which should be more fun than I can possibly stand. I called Lena up on Thursday. Last year I spent the holiday with her crazy family in Jersey. I was invited again this year, but I didn't feel like doing the whole crazy Cuban thing this year. Besides, I went out with one of her brothers a few times and forgot to call him back. That would've been awkward.

I stayed home and made myself dinner. I bought a couple of those tofurky feast things. They weren't horrible, though I like real turkey better. I also made six pumpkin pies. I'm sending a couple to a friend. I'm pretty sure I can send pie via FedEx. I hope so. It would be pretty messed up if it was mistaken for some sort of bomb. I like my prison free lifestyle.

I'm grasping for straws as to what to update about. So I'm going to swipe one of the HR questions that have been floating around. Why they put this one in the list, I'll never know. I wonder if they think a bunch of teenage girls work here. Then again, maybe they're not too far off. Slumber party anyone?

"Have you seen New Moon? If so, how do you think it compared to the book? Was it better or worse than Twilight?"
I saw the first twenty-five minutes of the film. I downloaded it, but then decided to watch The Proposal instead. Betty White is better than sparkly vampires anyway. I don't care if that Taylor kid is ripped or not. Rogert Ebert's review of the film cracked me up, though. I love him. Here is his review for Twilight, too.

Thanks, HR, for that little gem.

Dear Flist,

wished really, really needs a Roger Davies. One who is kind of prattish for Angelina and Katie to give lots of shit to.

We also really need a Percy, because my world just isn't complete without a Percy.

Pretty please?

We have awesome plot and awesome mods and Weird Sisters!

YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!

This post brought to you by an AIM conversation in which livelovehump and I agree that we need a Roger again

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1:09:12 AM web of spiders: Sleeping in wasn't really something Eben did often but this morning he was comfortable and warm as he laid next to Riley. It took him a little while to wake, but when he opened his eyes and found himself still side by side with Riley. A small smile came over his face and he held very still because he didn't want to wake the other boy. But after a moment he lifted his hand up and let the tip of his finger slide down the bridge of Riley's nose to the tip. When the boy didn't wake straight away he did it again, sort of just enjoying the fact that for once he had the upper hand. As soon was Riley gained consciousness it would be gone but for now he had it.

1:15:03 AM Me: Riley was probably the king of sleeping in. He was late to work pretty often because of it, too. Today was no exception. He always ended up going to late mass on Sundays thanks to his sleeping in habits. On top of that, he was a heavy sleeper. He didn't even so much as stir when Eben started touching his nose. After a few times, though, Riley's eyes fluttered open and he let out a soft groan, turning his head. "Stop..." He mumbled, rolling onto his side and draped his arm over Eben, burying his face in the pillow and Eben's neck. He didn't fall back asleep, though, after a few minutes, he pulled back to look at the other, letting out a sigh. "What time is it?" He asked as he brought a hand up to rub at his face.

1:22:53 AM web of spiders: "Time for you to go back to sleep." He wrapped his arm around Riley's waist and he let his hand rub up and down the other boy's back. It was Sunday and neither of them had to work so he didn't think sleeping in was such a big deal. "Do you want me to make breakfast or anything?" Eben loved to cook but he didn't really ever get the opportunity to cook for anyone but himself and that was never as much fun.

1:26:46 AM Me: Riley shook his head when he was told to go back to sleep. Just because he didn't have to work didn't mean he didn't have anything to do. He didn't want to move, though. Laying with Eben, just laying with him, was a lot better than he'd expected and that seemed to create a bit of a problem. "Breakfast?" Riley perked up, looking up at Eben and smiled. "Please, I'm starving..." He mumbled, shifting away from Eben to stretch before sitting up. He instantly regretted it, he was cold, and laid back down, wrapping an arm around Eben and pulled him close. "After breakfast..." He mumbled, about to say he was going to leave, but he really didn't want to. "Um, after breakfast, do you want to come with me? To church?" He asked, pulling back to look over Eben's face.

1:31:08 AM web of spiders: The invitation to church caught Eben off guard but he was instantly interested if only for the sole reason that Riley wanted them to go together. And while he doubted they'd be holding hands or anything, he liked the idea of going to church together. "I would love to go to church with you... what kind of church do you go to?" He curled back up with Riley and wrapped his arm back around his waist. "You are warm."

1:35:37 AM Me: There were two reasons Riley asked Eben to church with him, though he'd never asked anyone to come with him before. He hadn't even asked Jessica in the nearly two years they'd been together. They still went to separate churches. The first reason was that he wasn't ready to leave his side yet. He was still feeling pangs of jealousy from when he'd seen him with someone else the night before and leaving his side, he'd be too worried that Eben was with someone else again. The second reason was that he was afraid for Eben's eternal soul. Riley repented for his sins every Sunday just to be sure he'd have a decent after life, and he wasn't sure if Eben had ever done that. Some how heaven just didn't seem as good if Eben wouldn't be there, too. "It's a Catholic church... Closer to where I live... they have a later mass so I'm sure we have time for breakfast." He mumbled, tangling his legs with Eben's when the other moved even closer.
1:51:02 AM web of spiders: "All right." Eben was very interested in going with him. "I've been going to the church down the street but it is really small and a very tight knit community and I don't really fit in." He brushed his nose against the edge of Riley's jaw. "What is your church like? Are they very welcoming?"

1:54:41 AM Me: Riley raised his eyebrows hearing that Eben had been going to church. He was surprised to hear that. He tilted his head to the side as Eben nuzzled him a bit. "Welcoming?" He laughed softly, "They're Catholic." He smiled and pulled back a little, a hand coming up to rub at Eben's cheek. "It's a big church... No one really knows anyone else very well but they do the church bake sale type stuff together... I just go Sundays and holidays, do mass, confession and leave." He shrugged, his hand slowly moving down the others neck and arm. "Have you done confession?"

2:02:19 AM web of spiders: "Yeah." Eben nodded. "My whole family is catholic. It is part of the reason why they were so quick to write me off." Which he was beginning to realize happened a lot and he was just trying to get used to that. "I haven't been to confession since I got here though because the priest at this church sort of gives me the creeps." But he figured if he went with Riley it wouldn't be such a big deal.

2:06:29 AM Me: "Wow..." Riley murmured, shifting a little, suddenly uncomfortable. He and Eben had more in common than he knew. And then there was the fact that he was getting to know Eben. Someone he liked. And it was only making him like him more. His hand moved to Eben's back and traced over his spine for a moment before sighing and pulling back. "Yeah, this church isn't bad. Since it's so big, its just... easier to say things in confession." He shrugged and sat up, running a hand though his hair, cursing himself for having stayed the night, for chasing Eben down in the first place and for liking him.

2:18:10 AM web of spiders: Eben watched him sit up and he sighed as he looked over at him. The way he sat up and how he seemed to be a little uncertain just put Eben back in that place where he knew that Riley was questioning what was going on between them. "Hey..." he took his hand to and tried to pull him back down. "Can you give me just one morning?" Because he didn't think that it was too much to ask for, really.

2:22:38 AM Me: Riley let Eben take his hand and sighed again, laying back down. Yeah, he was uncertain, he always was. But he'd already asked Eben to church, he wasn't going to take it back. "I'm here, aren't I? We're supposed to have breakfast and go to church..." He mumbled, fingers brushing over Eben's knuckles, but only as he pulled his hand back. They were getting too close emotionally, he decided. He needed to put some barriers up, make a line that couldn't be crossed. He needed something to just hold back the emotions and not let this all happen so fast -or at all.

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2009 - 2010 Schedule

Wk 1: Wk 2: Wk 3: Wk 4: Wk 5: Wk 6: Wk 7: Wk 8: Wk 9: Wk 10: Wk 11: Wk 12: Wk 13: Wk 14: Wk 15: Wk 16:

vs Tampa Bay Top Guns vs Miami Cyclones vs Los Angeles Legends vs New Jersey Assassins* @ New York Knights* Bye-Week @ Washington Federals vs Philly Americans ------ @ Detroit Firebirds vs Atlanta Wasps vs Carolina Cobras vs N.J. Assassins* @ Pittsburgh Iron Men @ Philly Americans* vs N.Y. Knights* @ Arizona Scorpions

( pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain )

December 2, 2008 :: Wednesday

Weather: Snow, High 28, Low 20

What can I do to help set up this Christmas Party/Bridal Shower/Baby Shower thing? I'm rather excited to get things planned out.

And, in case I forgot to tell you, Alex and I are planning for a New Year's Eve wedding. I hope you have the day open on your calendar. ;)

I hope all y'all had a great Thanksgiving with family and friends new and old!  And, I hope your break has been as good as mine has been.

I've been practicing until it feels like my lips are going to get stuck in that position for forever, but I think it'll pay off when try outs come around and they're right around the corner!  I did, however, get sidetracked occasionally and found myself crying so much faith in us as a people reinforced!  I guess because it was so close to Thanksgiving, all these stories were surfacing - especially on Oprah!  Anyway, even if it made me cry, it was just really uplifting to read and/or hear them. I swear it had nothing to do with PMS!  I wish I could articulate just how much those stories got to me, but maybe it's better if I just share a few of the stories or at least links to them so you can feel good too.  Here are two: blind marching band boy and cheerleaders making a difference.

Don't forget our Winter Concert for Choir on Thursday!

After Eben had left the room, Riley had laid awake for a while, just watching in case he came back. He wasn't the type to chase after people and beg for forgiveness. This is how he was and if Eben didn't like it, that was too bad. But he did end up staying. It was pretty late when he finally fell asleep, but he'd programmed an alarm in his phone and woken up early. Eben was still sleeping when he got up and got dressed. He'd stood over him for a few minutes before leaving, having been considering whether or not to wake the other up and say goodbye. He'd decided against it though. He took the walk to the train station to piece together the night and regret ever going to Eben's, ever staying when he had tried to leave, and everything he'd done and said. Surely, now, his secret was out.

Lucky for him, he had a few days off now that it was the weekend. And he made a point to call work before the next schedule was fixed to ask, last minute, to take his last few vacation days. He was happy he'd saved them. There were only three, but five days away from Eben all together felt like a good idea. He'd spend time with the band, more time with Jack and maybe head to a club or two trying to find a girl. He needed a new distraction now that Jessica was never coming back, it seemed. Sunday he'd go to confession like always and then he'd have three more full days away from Eben to set himself straight. To make himself hate the other boy again. To convince himself that he needed to stop going around and sleeping with random guys because Eben was about to tell the world his secret (he was sure) and that meant that he had to do the best cover up job he could. Not that he really thought anyone would believe Eben. For now, though, he had band practice and a show for the night to worry about.



After Riley's show, another Ebenless night, he helped his bandmates take everything down then wished them goodbye. He had plans to head to the club. It was late now, well, not late for the club scene, and he was ready to get his flirt on. He grabbed Jack to come along, needing someone to play wingman and they were off. Getting into the club was the easy part, their band was starting to get pretty well known locally and they'd played a lot of clubs before, so bouncers would just let them on in. The hard part would be finding a girl in the club who wanted Riley, but didn't want to sleep with him. That's why Jessica had been so good for him. Despite the fact that he constantly made fun of her for it, he liked that she didn't want to have sex. It made it easier on him. He'd never had sex with a girl before. But club scene girls were notorious for being sluts.

Within the first hour, Riley had pumped himself full of drinks, and he was dancing with any girl that would get close to him. The club was packed and he was ready. Jack pointed out a small group of girls and he went over, picking one out while Jack started talking up the rest. He took the girl to buy her a drink, his arm around her waist, but stayed plastered just above her hip. He didn't want to go any lower and get too close to anything suggestive. At the bar, he ordered their drinks and just over the bartenders shoulder, at the other end, he saw Eben. His heart pounded in his ears for a moment, and the girl was still talking to him, but he couldn't take his eyes off Eben. How had he gotten in? Why was he here? And this just wasn't fair. He was here to forget Eben. Not be tortured by his existence.