Who: Faith Lehane What: Her son's gone back to where he's meant to be, but that doesn't mean she doesn't miss him When: October 20th, late afternoon Where: The Winchester house Rating: PG-13. Status: Complete as a narrative, open if anyone at the house wants to tag.
Only hours ago the house had been a hell of a lot fuller. Kids everywhere, of varying ages and even timelines, all crammed in. Now they were gone, the place seemed almost unnaturally quiet. It was going to take more than a little getting used to again.
Faith wandered into the bedroom Michael had been staying in, Madra following just behind her and bumping into her ankles every few steps. The puppy had loved staying in the house, with all the kids and Jack to play with. Now that Michael was gone, Faith realized she would probably need to get back to the Hyperion more and the no doubt huge pile of paperwork she had waiting for her. Patrol reports and demon sightings, all waiting to be sorted through and given to research if needed, and the training schedules that needed sorting out. She'd shoved all of it aside for as long as her son had needed her, focusing only on patrols every night and no more. Now she had to face work again.
Sitting in Michael's bed, her back against the wall and her knees drawn up, Faith only had to wait a moment before Madra jumped up as well, resting his head on her leg as he stared up at her, some kind of animal sense making him know that something was wrong. She let out a short, rueful laugh as she reached down to scratch behind his ears.
Michael was gone. The son she'd never expected had been sent back to his own time, and his own parents. It was how it was meant to be, Faith knew that. She could only imagine the panic her future self must have been feeling at her son's disappearance. Bad guys beware, Momma Slayer wanted her kid back. But that didn't mean that Faith didn't miss him. He'd been bright and funny and damn looking at him really had felt like looking at a mini version of Sam. Every expression so clearly copied from his father. And nothing could beat the hope that he'd given her for Sam's relationship with his own father. Michael John Winchester, named after the coolest grandfather ever, apparently even better than Gandalf. Clearly things between Sam and John had been better, good enough for Sam to want to name his son after him and then to raise him to idolize John so much. If nothing else happened, Faith just hoped that things could be that good with them in this timeline too.
If nothing else happened. That was really the question currently playing around in her mind. In at least one future, she'd had a son. An actual kid. Motherhood had never been something she'd considered. Ten years ago, she'd had an abortion because the mere idea of having a baby was the most terrifying thing in the world, because she just wasn't ready to cope with the idea. And now, a couple of months shy of her 25th birthday, she still didn't feel any more ready for the idea. She was still learning how to be responsible for herself, let alone for a child. And she was still, and always would be, a Slayer. One who had lasted a hell of a long time admittedly, but still not immortal. At least two of the timelines had shown that. She'd seen first hand what kind of effect having a Slayer for a mother had done to a kid. Robin Wood was a good man and an amazing fighter, one his mother could be proud of, but that didn't make her loss any easier for him. It was the reason they had never worked as a couple, why Robin had so many issues. Faith hated the idea of ever doing that to a child.
Getting together with Sam had seemed like yet another reason why her and kids would never go together. Heather and Lily were one of the things they never talked about, but Faith still remembered how he'd reacted when Heather had become pregnant. How scared he'd been, how drunk he'd gotten. All adding up to make Faith feel that really, she should never come off the Birth Control pills she took religiously with her first coffee of the day. She never wanted to put that kind of pressure on Sam.
Many reasons, good ones even, why she'd prepared herself to be an Aunt figure but never a mother. And she had always been more than happy with that, until the moment she'd first laid eyes on Michael. Maybe it was some kind of genetic thing, maybe it was something else, but Faith knew from the instant she'd discovered who he was that she would protect him at all costs. When Eve had taunted him, threatened to dose him with demon blood, the rage Faith had felt was stronger than anything she'd ever experienced. No one threatened her son, not ever.
She wasn't ready to be a mother. She couldn't say for sure she ever would be. But now the idea of saying never to the idea of having children just didn't sit right with her the way it had before. Especially now she knew that it was just possible that she wouldn't be as terrible at it as she'd always assumed.
It wasn't until Madra whined slightly and pushed his head up to lick her face that she realized that her eyes were damp and a single tear had made its way down her cheek. Rubbing at her face with one hand, she half laughed again as she lifted the puppy onto her lap, resting her head against his warm fur. Michael was where he was meant to be and she and Sam were both safe and together. Those were things to be grateful for and later on, in a short while, she knew she would be, exceptionally so. Until then, she was going to sit and miss him.