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Ruby ([info]dontcallmebitch) wrote in [info]parabolical,
@ 2009-09-30 01:58:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:castiel, ruby

Who: Ruby and Castiel
What: More broken than even she knows
Where: Ruby's apartment
When: Evening of the 29th
Rating: TBD
Status: In Progress

Ruby had never been more terrified of anything in her entire existance.

She was a bad person obviously, in that she wasn't a person first off, The kid was just that, just a kid, and she'd had to blow him off out of fear for what he was. Who's he was. Contrary to what she assumed to be popular opinion she didn't feel jealous, she didn't feel maternal. She didn't feel anything for the fact that Sam and Faith would have a baby but a blinding fear. Because a baby would likely share traits. The blood Sam possessed, it was a catylast for what was already inside him. For what he was. And did that mean that the kid, that Michael was that too.

He had posted and Ruby had thought about the gain, the power. She'd wanted to harness that power more than anything in the world. Just for a split second, she was what she had been again. The Best. The Most Loyal. She'd been ready to do what she needed to do to get the kid under her control and as soon as it had come the feeling had left her with a slightly nautious knot in her stomach.

And then the kid had said Sam had never forgiven her, in so many words anyway. Either way he'd broken her heart.

She'd wanted to vomit.

But Ben and Castiel had told her it was okay to think what she did because she hadn't contiued the line of thought, offered to be there for her. Older Ben who was so wise beyond his years, so kind to her. And Castiel whom she loved had told her that she would keep going, taking steps forward, and with a quarter gone bottle of tequila in her hand she'd asked Castiel to come to her, and he promised her that he would.

So she sat, numbly watching the sceen before her, the happiness of the Winchesters, confusion, shock, but happiness too and remembered when she'd been a part of that. Before she'd destroyed herself and very nearly Sam too.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-09-30 01:18 am UTC (link)
Castiel appeared in the room with the faintest flutter of wings. Honestly, he wasn't sure what to make of the news that the Winchesters had children. Speaking with the older version of Ben was both a pleasure and enlightening. But Michael was another issue. The son of demon blood and a temptation that Ruby really did not need.

Silently he moved to where she was and sat next to her, easing the bottle of tequila from her hand before he slid his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close in a hug. He wasn't sure how long it would take before she was ready to talk, but he was more than content to simply wait there until she was. Kissing the top of her head, the angel waited to see how she would react.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-09-30 01:24 am UTC (link)
She let him take the bottle away, hands shaking as he pulled her into a deeper hug. She'd missed those, so very much, more than she ever could have imagined she would. Or no, she could imagine missing them really a lot.

"...I don't know how to...I think I scared him, or made him ashamed of himself for making me angry or...he talks to me...I don't understand why he'd..."

She curled in tighter, one tear finding its way down her eye.

"..And I told Sam, him and Faith, I told them I'd stay away but I didn't even need to because I can't go near the kid...I just can't and its not...They're happy, scared but on some level, happy, all of them, and I can't be the one again that...

More tears joined the first and very soon she couldn't talk anymore, the sobs varying in pitch and intensity from quiet to rage filled. She cried more than she expected. More than she'd ever intended. She was crying, and then she was crying because of the selfishness of crying...

Everything boiled up inside her, all that fear, all the paranoia all the anger and tension and at least some of the shame.

She'd started now and she wasn't sure that she'd stop.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-09-30 01:40 am UTC (link)
Castiel was silent for a long while, letting her cry everything out. The emotions behind it all were almost overwhelming, but his only reaction was to tighten the hug and let her tears soak into his coat.

Every now and then he gently kissed the top of her head again, murmuring words that were barely audible and didn't really matter much anyway, they were more about the tone, trying to soothe her even a little bit.

He refused to push her into talking before she was ready, not over this. No matter what the rest of the Winchesters thought of him for it, he wasn't prepared to desert her. So he would wait, as long as he needed to, and when she was able to, they would talk.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-09-30 06:50 am UTC (link)
She wasn't sure just how long it went on for, having him here, with her like this, it was contributing to the tears as well, because she didn't deserve to, he was so much better than her, worth so much more, infinately more, and she feared dragging him down so much.

Though Ben said she hadn't.

Ben...

Dammit she loved that kid, she did. And he forgave her too. But not Sam, never Sam. He feared for his son too much she supposed.

The tears strengthened, it might have been hours, It felt like hours before they ebbed enough to look up at Castiel eyes we.

"I'm sorry" she said softly, it seemed an appropriate place to start. She said it and said it to so many people, but never meant it any less for each use. He would know that. But it needed saying

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-09-30 12:13 pm UTC (link)
It was, in fact, a couple of hours before Ruby was able to speak. Castiel didn't move the whole time, just holding her. Later he would go to the Winchesters and see the children, but he had meant what he'd said to Natalie. He needed to make sure everyone was safe first, and that included Ruby.

"I know you are," he murmured quietly.

"You're doing the right thing by both Sam and Faith by staying away," he pointed out. "You're doing the strong thing. Yes, Michael tempts you, but you're not giving into that, and you're allowing them to focus on his arrival without any added fear. It's the right thing to do and I'm proud of you for that."

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-09-30 05:55 pm UTC (link)
Doing the right thing. Being strong. Sounded good in theory but she didn't feel strong. In fact she'd never felt weaker, She didn't cry. She didn't give in to emotions like that. That was weak and stupid and oh so human.

"Shoulda figured he'd never forgive it, forgiveness is for other people apparently, twenty years and I'm still..."

She knew John and Dean never would trust her, but she'd believed so completely that one day Sam would forgive it, not forget, he couldn't ever forget. But she'd been wrong.

"Ben told me we're still together, he said you and me, we work. I kind of pressed him to tell me because I wasn't dealing, I was existing y'know, the shop and everything. But I wasn't..."

She didn't know how to explain it, but one of the things she loved most about Cas was that generally she didn't need to explain. He just knew

She stayed where she was in his arms, not ever wanting to leave. She felt safe and loved there and right then there was no better feeling.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-09-30 11:08 pm UTC (link)
Castiel let out a long, long sigh, not sure of how to phrase things in a way to make them better.

"Forgiveness is a complex thing, delicate, and it can manifest in a hundred different ways," he spoke softly, trying to balance not letting her give up without offering false hope. "Some times it is absolute, others it is with conditions. I can't tell what Sam will feel about you in the future, but you should not take the words of others as the full story. All they can tell you is their perspective of the emotions, not what the truth of the feeling is." Maybe Sam would forgive her. Maybe he would want to, but the protection of his son prevented it. Maybe fear would stop him ever letting go of the past. It was too hard to tell.

The angel shifted slightly to rest his head on top of hers, his arms still tightly around her. "I do know that Ben is right. In twenty year I will still be here. In a hundred I'll still be here. I've made my choice, and that's forever."

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-01 12:14 am UTC (link)
"Thats not fair, it should be simple"

She didn't understand forgiveness, much as she was getting it from Cas, from this Ben in the future, even in some small ways from Faith. She knew the concept obviously but it was one emotion demons didn't have extensive knowledge on. It was one with no gain. One with nothing manipulatible.

So it threw her every time.

"...I don't get it" she finally trailed off.

And she still had Castiel. Right here with her swearing he'd never leave her, for decades, centuries, he'd said he was proud of her. And she'd make him proud of her. Forever.

She leaned in, reaching her hand up to his face and smiled gratefully.

"I don't deserve you, but everything you've said...I've never loved you more"

She'd missed this closeness.

"Its not cold anymore" she told him.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-01 02:11 am UTC (link)
Despite everything, Castiel had to laugh slightly, just a little and not in a way that could feel mocking. It was just the age old argument, the one he'd heard time and time again. That's not fair, it should be simple.

"Forgiveness is the least simple emotion out there, aside from love," he pointed out. And really, wasn't forgiveness a huge part of love anyway? To see the one you love, with all the good and all the bad, and to forgive them for their faults and love them regardless?

"There are very few people in the world who do actually understand it, and most of the ones who claim to are lying," he smirked slightly before he turned, brushing some of her hair away from her face.

"It's nearly winter." Still, he knew that wasn't what she meant. He leaned in, brushing a gentle kiss over her lips.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-01 06:25 am UTC (link)
So it was okay, that she didn't understand it, that it didn't make sense. It was okay to not believe it was possible for her even if the proof was sitting right beside her. She gave a soft smile as the kiss brushed against her lips.

"It could be a good winter, you keeping me warm." she told him, returning the kiss admittidly with more than a little hesitation. She loved him, she thought maybe more than she understood sometimes. And damn it she wanted to prove that to him. Would he want that? Could he, after everything.

She let her hand trail down from his face, slowly, still focusing on this kiss before pulling back just slightly and locking her eyes with his. She didn't speak, he'd tell her if it wasn't okay.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-01 01:08 pm UTC (link)
The fact that he'd made her smile made Castiel feel faintly relieved. That was the way things were supposed to be, tears followed by smiles.

And there was finally looking at things with a more optimistic light. "It could be," he agreed. "And we can weather any storms that come." Or possibly create them. He hadn't exactly wanted his mind to slip so easily to that, but just sometimes that seemed unavoidable. They were back together, despite the reservations and anger of everyone else. He couldn't help the way he felt.

He leaned forward and gently kissed her twice, once on each cheek to brush away where the tracks of her tears were down her face.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-02 12:17 am UTC (link)
Ruby's smile grew decidedly more pronounced at the mention of storms. She remembered just how many storms they'd weathered together.

"...We can weather more...we can make more" she added, breathing in a sigh as he kissed away the last of her tears, he'd given her his all and she'd thrown it back at him for of all people, the service of his brother.

But not now. Now she was going to be there. Now she'd show the love that she'd always felt but dug deep inside her to better focus on her Plans. Or hidden, always hidden behind hex bags.

But here they were, he'd taken her back. Her!

Her hand continued its journey running lightly from his cheek to his shoulders and down to his chest.

"Castiel" she said softly locking his gaze with hers again

"...Any Storm Warnings in the city lately?"

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-02 12:52 am UTC (link)
This time he laughed more openly, knowing exactly what she was thinking and not because he was reading her mind.

"I can't say I've really noticed," he admitted before he smirked, sliding his hand up and down her arm. "Though the weather service is notoriously unreliable. I believe they often give humans the wrong information about storms."

She was smiling and she was happy and right then that was all he cared about. No matter what other complications might be thrown their way in the future, that would be then. This was now. And all that mattered was the two of them having the chance to be happy again.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-02 04:10 am UTC (link)
This, she had missed, more than she'd known, the fleeting little touches, hugs, gestures of the last few months had been a tease to her. Hurting in their own unique way that meant she couldn't have him. But now he was here, with her, wanting her, and wanting to be happy and she didn't know what to be beyond eternally grateful for the chance.

"Poor humans then" she replied pressing forward just lightly, she wasn't going to push it with him, he could take the lead, take them as far as he wanted, as far as he was happy with. Ruby had so few limits in that regard and he had every right not to want anything to happen just yet.

Maybe he wasn't ready.

She did help by starting to tug off his coat, It was always a very important start to all this.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-02 01:44 pm UTC (link)
Even though he'd spent the last several months spending nearly every day with her, trying to get through to her and her feelings towards his brother, it had been a long, long time since they'd been this close. Even before before truth had come out, Castiel had felt as though she had been a million miles away from him, even when she'd been right at his side.

"They do have so many small struggles to deal with every day," he was only being a little bit sarcastic, his tone as dry as ever. It was only the slight twitch of his mouth into a smirk that gave it away.

He shifted to make it easier for her to pull off his coat before he tugged her onto his lap, pulling her down for another kiss.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-02 01:56 pm UTC (link)
Ruby went with it, she wasn't about to spoil this, any of this, he'd tell her, if something was too much, if he didn't want to go that far, he'd say. Mostly she was just focused on the fact that he was there with her. It had been a long time since she'd felt this free, this relaxed around him. Before now there had always been the plan, before now there had always just been something, a lie between them she could never hope to tell him. And now he knew, and dissapointed as he'd been and she suspected still was, he loved her. And he was proud of other things she'd done.

She was starting all over again and in the strangest way she was perfectly happy to.

She was happy too to be pulled onto his lap and angled downward as he kissed her again, her smile, genuinely happy, genuinely excited.

Genuine.

She wanted it to be him, that made the moves, that set the pace. So often it had been her and so often she'd used it as a weapon, as a distraction. Thats not what this was about. It wouldn't ever be again.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-02 08:12 pm UTC (link)
Everything about this time felt new. The first time they'd been together, it had been a battle for dominance. And many times later, more than Castiel suspected he knew, there was an undercurrent of deception.

But not now. Now there was an absolute honestly for the first time in their relationship, one that he found he truly loved.

He smiled, relaxed as he kissed her again, more deeply than before, his arms sliding around her to tug her closer across his lap as his hands slid up, under her shirt to gently caress over her skin. It may have been his imagination but she felt softer than he remembered.

Shifting slightly, he kissed up along her neck, almost playfully before he paused just below her ear. "I love you." The words were barely more than a whisper before he kissed her lips again.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-02 08:43 pm UTC (link)
The honesty was suprisingly welcomed by the demon. She knew everything there was to know about sex, every trick, every way to use it to manipulate, to twist and control. Castiel knew she did. Knew what she had been to hell. Why they'd chosen her. But this, there was no agenda. And she wanted to keep it that way. She wasn't used to it yet, but just being here with Castiel like this, with no lies, nothing she had to keep from him, nothing she had to pretend about. Everything about her he knew now. Everything.

His hands touched her skin and it was electric as ever more so as he trailed along her neck. This was amazing to her. Months and months of giving up, believing she couldn't have this again and here they were. He whispered into her ear that he loved her and she sighed contentedly.

"I love you too, and I'm so very grateful for you, every second"

They kissed and Ruby's arms wrapped around his neck, draping at his shoulders and she couldn't remember a time when she'd been happier, she returned the kiss with a little more force than before, a tiny bit more confident.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-03 02:11 am UTC (link)
"I know you are." The angel smiled slightly, feeling exceptionally good as he kept kissing her. And he did know, he knew everything now. And in return he hid nothing from her. Admittedly she would never be able to sense him in quite the same way, but as much as she could know she would. If she had questions all she'd have to do was ask them and he would be honest with her, completely. The soul laid bare. So to speak.

Slowly, incredibly, teasingly slowly, Castiel began to pull her top up, the material dragging over her skin as he eased it up, his fingers brushing over the skin as each inch became exposed until finally he broke the kiss so he could pull the garment over her head and throw it to the floor.

That done, he slid his hands back down and over her skin. When he said he loved her, he meant the true her and would no matter which body she used as a host. But he couldn't deny that she was beautiful, an admiration that showed on his face.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-03 09:46 am UTC (link)
He was just teasingly, achingly slow about pulling her top from her, but every moment of it felt amazing, his touch, everything he did. Every sensation he ilicited in her, and he held the kiss, kept it as long as he could until he had to lift the top away.

And then he was just caressing her.

She couldn't help arching her back just slightly, pushing against where he was above her, entirely ready just to have him take her. It wasn't what it used to be, it was new, and she didn't know what he'd do, but knew with perfect clarity that she'd enjoy it.

A hand slid across her breast and she sighed his name.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-04 01:17 am UTC (link)
He kept taking his time, refusing to be rushed in any way. Not that he felt she was rushing him, but he was hoping to drive her to a place of impatience mixed with a willingness to just let him have control.

With a lazy smile he leaned forward, brushing his lips over where his hands had been, running kisses over her soft skin. His hands meanwhile sneaked down, undoing her jeans and he shifted her hips so he could pull them off.

He was still fully dressed, still with his tie loose around his neck and his shirt done up, the material brushing over her bare skin as he leaned forward, finally getting her jeans off.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-04 07:12 pm UTC (link)
She loved it, every kiss, every movement of his hands making her want so desperately for him to take her but knowing she would have to wait, knowing it would happen when he wanted it to. When he decided. Ruby knew very easily how to submit, but even then she'd always been mentally in control, giving them what they wanted from her, giving away the power in the bed to better keep the power all for herself, But that wasn't happening here, she wasn't in control now and it thrilled her in a way she hadn't known was possible, she squirmed under his touch looking up into his eyes, begging silently, desperetely wanting him to take control, maybe even needing him to.

He deserved it after all.

Her breath came heavily as he slid off her jeans, already she could feel that she was ready for him.

"Cas please" she whispered eyes locked with his, she wasn't going to break the contact unless he told her to. She decided nothing would happen unless he willed it.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-04 11:54 pm UTC (link)
Castiel held her gaze when she stared at him like that, a slight smirk tugging at his lips. Not breaking the eye contact, he leaned forward, starting to pull off his tie. Again his movements were controlled, slow and steady even as his desire for her grew. He could sense her desperation and couldn't deny that it was incredibly attractive.

Eventually the tie came off and he started on the shirt, slowly easing it off his shoulders before he moved forward once again to kiss her. Sliding his hands down, he held onto her as he stood up, keeping the kiss going as he carried her over to the bed.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-05 12:19 am UTC (link)
Strong as she was, strong as she'd always been. He was stronger. He would always be stronger and it thrilled her in ways she couldn't begin to describe. He was taking his time. Driving her crazy with desire and he knew it.

When he lifted her to the bed keeping the kiss going, Ruby couldn't help herself in taking it deeper. She had missed this, missed him.

And this was new, she'd never surrendered herself like this.

"I love you" she whispered again, she found she couldn't say it enough.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-05 01:34 pm UTC (link)
Carefully he put her down on the bed, each movement controlled absolutely. Other times would be for rough and hard, just as their first time with the slamming into walls. Right now, he wanted to be in control.

Slowly he moved his hands down, sliding her underwear off and throwing it to one side before he crawled up the bed, kissing up along her body before finally kissing her lips again.

"I love you too," his whisper was almost a growl as he reached down and pulled off his own pants.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-05 01:48 pm UTC (link)
The pace, the methodical pace was killing her, every single movement every single kiss, planned and focused. His hands slid under her panties throwing them to the side and slowly he worked his way back up her.

She was already close to screaming the name of his Father, she wondered what he'd do to her if she did. He'd probably consider it bad. It was on the tip of her tongue too as she watched him, eyes bright but decidedly subservient.

They were finally both there, both naked, him poised above her, normally she'd have guided him inside her, or slid her mouth lower, she'd have taken the inititive, done something. But not tonight.

Instead all she could do was keep his gaze, "Teach me" she said at a low hiss "Tell me what to do"

She needed him to tell her. Needed him to have all the control.

"Make me surrender to you" she begged

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-05 08:33 pm UTC (link)
He kept his gaze locked on hers, never faltering as he slid his hands over her one more time, over her skin until he reached her wrists. Gently he guided her arms up until her hands were up by her head, though he took care to make sure she wasn't strained. And even though he kept his own fingers curled around those small wrists, the hold was loose enough that she could push free at any time. If she chose to.

Or she could stay where she was, surrendering.

"Relax," he told her, his voice low as he pushed inside her. No games, no tricks, no great move to try to make him gasp or anything, he just wanted her to let go, to feel natural under his control.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-05 08:41 pm UTC (link)
It was strange, beyond the obvious pleasure she felt as he slid into her the overwhelming feeling she had was that she was safe. That she was here with someone that loved her, someone that would guide her to becoming something better, someone that could even maybe be respected someday.

She didn't break free of his grasp. Why would she want to.

Simply she tilted her head to the side momentarily teeth scraping at her lip at the sensations of being where she was. It felt amazing.

And yes, natural. It felt like finally in some ways, she was where she was supposed to be. She found her focus and turned her head back to meet his gaze again, and held it. His hands were firm but gentle on her wrists and she hapilly gave herself to him, a soft smile the only expression she let show until he said otherwise.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-06 01:32 am UTC (link)
The intense part of it was, Castiel could feel everything she was feeling. No hex bags or secrets getting in the way and blocking him from truly sensing her.

It was more open and honest than they'd ever been and he almost gasped at the feelings.

And at the way she was letting herself be held by him. The smile, the trust she was showing, one he hoped never to break. He reached down and kissed her, still never breaking the eye contact as he thrust deeper inside her.

The sensations, all of them both physical and mental were intense and his wings began to stretch out, even as the wind outside began to pick up.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-06 01:41 am UTC (link)
She could hear it, outside her window, the storm brewing that meant he was finally letting himself give in to the sensations building between them, the winds picking up, the wild, uncontrollled feeling of a heavenly warrior. And all of those feelings directed at her.

She kept her eyes focused but human as he picked up the pace, thrusting deeper, his hands still wrapped around her wrists.

She moaned against his lips as he bent to kiss her.

Much as she wasn't used to it, wasn't used to being so open, with anyone she felt that maybe she could get used to it with him, no secrets, her mind was open to him, everything she'd done, every little desire for power she'd quashed over the last few months, every moment where she'd faltered or stumbled in what little redemption she'd achieved, as he made love to her here, he could see it all.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-06 02:35 am UTC (link)
The pace of the storm picked up as Castiel stopped trying to hold any of it back, pushing into her, harder, faster, groaning as he kissed her.

Her mind was so open to him, pouring into his until he could no longer separate where his own desires ended and hers began. He wished for a long moment that it could work the other way, but all he could was just let go with her, physically and emotionally. And hope that was enough for her to feel at least some of what he felt.

He could feel himself getting closer to the edge, the lightning outside starting to streak across the sky.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-06 07:24 am UTC (link)
Oh she'd missed this, the lightning, everything outside almost a testament to those in the know, that they were back together, that he'd forgiven what she'd done much as he'd never forget it. It felt good knowing he was willing to let that side of them be public again. And she could feel just how much he was letting her in. Not entirely, not to the level he could. She wasn't that powerful, and oddly she thought that might be okay too.

She moaned his name as he thrust into her, begging for him to keep going, begging that he just bring her that little bit further as the roll of thunder from outside seemed to push her right to the very edge.

She could let herself go with him, she didn't have to keep herself in check because he'd do it for her, she closed her eyes, letting them shift to the demonic black, not holding anything back, not with him.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-06 10:22 am UTC (link)
People might ask questions about the storm, unpredicted as it was. Others might simply realize what was going on, maybe even be angry with him for it. But at that moment Castiel didn't care. This was his choice, she was his choice. No one else's.

He relished in the sound of her moaning his name, sensing the way her eyes had changed. He didn't falter, knowing full well what she was, possibly better than she did herself.

His grip on her wrists stayed exactly the same even as he pushed harder into her, just as she was begging him to. He was close, so very close, even as he held himself back just a little longer, waiting for her to finally fall over the edge.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-06 03:44 pm UTC (link)
He didn't react to her eyes, closed or not she figured he knew, he always knew, she couldn't be around him like this without giving in to that side of herself somewhat, just being open, free. And he knew she was close, she was, and with a few more well timed thrusts from Castiel, Ruby gave a scream of pleasure and arched wildly against the welcome grip his hands still had on her wrists.

As usual there was no subtlty with them and especially not with her.

There was only the storm outside, and inside, and with him still thrusting inside of her Ruby lost herself, allowed herself to give in to all she was, just for a few moments, knowing he'd keep her grounded, knowing he had her and that he would join her now she'd been sated.

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-07 02:57 pm UTC (link)
The scream from her was all Castiel needed to fall over the edge himself, a growl catching in his throat as he bent his head to kiss her. The flash of lightning outside lit up the whole room for a moment before the storm began to calm.

He kept his grip on her wrists as he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against hers for a moment as he breathed heavily.

"I love you," his voice was low as he repeated his earlier sentiments, needing to say them again, to make sure they were known even as the storm was calming.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-07 03:19 pm UTC (link)
She finally opened her eyes human again and smiled up at him from her position still underneath him, eyes locked to his and wrists still under his grasp. She liked being there, like that. It was safe, it was him. It had made her feel amazing. Hell she hadn't felt anything like that in months. If ever.

She liked his grip there.

"Thank you" she told him calmly still not resisting or relenting as she listened to the winds calm themselves mixed with each heavy breath either of them gave. "Thank you for being willing to...for this, for all of it" She wasn't sure how else she could put it, she owed the angel so very much.

She lay back for a moment calming herself, focusing herself, there was more to say between them

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-08 03:03 am UTC (link)
Castiel let out a soft laugh, his breath brushing against her skin. "You're welcome," he murmured softly in reply before he shifted, sliding off from lying on top of her, but keeping hold of her wrists for a moment longer. As he lay down, he gently tugged her into his arms, so he could hold her close.

"How are you feeling now?" He softly kissed the top of her head, hoping she was feeling more relaxed, safer, and more able to be just herself than before.

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-08 09:36 am UTC (link)
She wasn't sure how she was feeling in any way she could explain. Good, definitely. Happy again and for the first time in as long as she could really remember, completely honest with another person. Nothing between them. No lies.

She let herself be pulled into his arms, still regaining control of herself, her breath.

"I feel good. I was scared if we did that, it'd become what it always is for me, a weapon, even accidently. But it didn't, you stopped that and I've never felt safer"

She paused, tilting her head back just slightly. "And you, did you like it, taking control. Do you enjoy it?"

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[info]warriorofgod
2009-10-09 11:14 am UTC (link)
Castiel could sense all the confusing emotions she was feeling, though he was relieved she was positive.

"You'll always be safe with me," he promised her quietly, holding her close. "You can stop seeing everything as a weapon, as something to manipulate, I promise."

He paused, thinking of her question. It wasn't really about control, taking it or surrendering it. "I enjoy being honest," he said after a while. "I like feeling as though I'm seeing the true you, not simply the face you want me to see at any time."

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[info]dontcallmebitch
2009-10-12 02:19 pm UTC (link)
Ruby curled into him, trying to keep that feeling of safety and contentment as long as she could.

"I know...But you know how hard it is? Not seeing every little action as some kind of in, some kind of trick, you're the first one I've been completely genuine with for as long as I can remember. Its gonna take time. But you being here with me, that helps"

She smiled at the answer, it was nice, it was ordered, it made sense. And she understood what he meant.

"Its different, much as I've let myself be like that before it was always about power, even that, they thought they had it when really I did, that was..."

She'd loved it, just the simple action of holding her wrists down taking away so much of her ability to seduce. She'd instead been seduced.

"And what do you think of her, the true me, without the tricks and lies and seductions. Is there even much left?"

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