Who: Faith Lehane and Dr Keeler (NPC) What: Therapy session number two When: Monday morning- September 18th Where: Dr Keeler's office Rating: PG 13 Status:Narrative COMPLETE
It was slightly less awkward than last time, Faith even managed a half smile in response to Dr Keeler's warm smile of welcome as she stepped into her office, making her way straight to her chair.
"Still no couch?" She flashed a brief smirk at the doctor, causing the older woman to laugh.
"Still focusing on my furniture?"
Faith shook her head with a brief laugh of her own as she waited for Dr Keeler to get to her own chair, the notepad out and ready, and her green eyes were once more focused on the Slayer.
"How are you today, Faith?"
Faith inhaled sharply a moment as she actually considered the question, rather than brush it off as was her instinct. "I'm doing okay. Things are getting better, I think."
"So, all cured?" The doctor looked at her with faint amusement, which actually gained a genuine laugh from Faith.
"Until the next crisis."
"Is that how you live, crisis to crisis?" Dr Keeler's gaze was scrutinizing, taking in her every movement.
"Part of the Slayer package," Faith shrugged, with a feigned nonchalance that she knew Dr Keeler would see right through as she drew her knees up slightly, getting more curled into the chair.
"Last week we talked a little bit about Slayerness." the older woman commented. "How did that session make you feel?"
"Okay, I guess," she frowned slightly as she considered it. "I guess I never really thought about things that way before. Like how the Slayer history relates to how I feel about men. The guys that force the Slayer powers on us and all." She glanced up at Dr Keeler, her face troubled. "Though I don't wanna talk about my dad or anything. Or father figures or anything like that. Just so we're clear."
Dr Keeler said nothing, simply watched her closely as Faith sighed.
"Which means I probably should talk about it right? That's how this whole thing works?"
Dr Keeler was silent for a few, long, seconds, the ticking of the clock making that perfectly clear. Faith was starting to shift awkwardly in her chair before the doctor spoke. "I'm not here to force you to talk about anything. But maybe talking about why you don't want to talk about your childhood is an idea."
Faith chewed on her lip, hating this, hating the idea of dredging up things that had been left long buried, forced down by her stubborn refusal to deal with it. "I don't wanna be pitied," she finally said, each word sounding almost painful to say.
"Faith, I can't promise many things to you, that's not how this works. But I can promise you that I will not pity you."
The Slayer nodded, letting that sink in a while. A long while actually, the minute hand of the clock dragging itselves around inch by slow inch as she just remembered the early years in Boston and everything she'd refused to think about for years. The session was almost half over when she finally spoke.
"Boston. It's where I'm from." She slowly uncurled her legs, leaning forward and leaning her elbows on her legs, her fingers proped up and half hiding her face. "No point asking about my dad, never actually knew him. Went to prison when Mom was pregnant. And Mom was a whore." Her face twisted with anger and grief at the thought of her mother. "She was a drunk, and a fucking mean one. Was into heroin in a big way, and she was a hooker to support the habit. She always hated having a kid." With an angry, bitter smile she twisted her body, tugging down the side of her jeans to show a pattern of scars on her left hip. "Had a mean aim with the vodka bottle though. Once spent a coupld of hours when I was eight, picking the glass outta me."
Feeling uncomfortable, Faith got up and started pacing around the room, sensing more than seeing the doctor's gaze on her, never faltering.
"She had lame boyfriends too. Most of them barely lasted, but one, Gable... They never married, but I call him my step father since he stuck around for about five years." It almost sounded nice, except for the fact she was shaking slightly. Dammit, why was she having to think about him now? Even since being in LA, she deflected anything about him as quickly as she could.
"He was a bastard," her voice became quiet. "And he was violent. Enforcer for the Irish mob as well as being her dealer and her pimp. His version of baby sitting was letting me sit and watch while he beat a guy to death. But hey, he liked me, I mean he really..." she trailed off, craving a cigarette in a big way. "Can we not talk about him? I really don't wanna..." she looked almost pleadingly at Doctor Keeler.
"I've said it before, Faith, you don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to." The doctor made a few notes on her pad before she looked again at Faith. "I do have just one question though, if you don't mind?" She waited for Faith's somewhat jerky nod before continuing. "How old were you when this male figure was in your life?"
"He met my Mom when I was 11," Faith muttered. "Got rid of him when I was 15."
"I see." More notes, the pen scratching against the page. "And was that when you were Called?" Another jerky nod as Faith made her way back to sitting down. "So the reason he left your life was not something you chose?"
Faith blinked a moment before she nodded again. "Guess I don't get much control over the shit in my life huh?"
"Would you say you have much control? Especiallly when it comes to the men in your life?"
"You keep asking questions you already know the answers to."
"That's why I ask them."
Faith sighed before shrugging again. "Okay, no. I lived for a while under his rule and no matter when I said no to him it didn't matter. Only time I got away from him is when a buncha guys shoved a power into me and told me I had a destiny. And now I just... I take the control where I can get it, okay?"
"And how do the people in your life handle that?"
"It's not like they know."
"So, they see you taking control whenever you can, but don't know why you do it?"
Faith almost growled, frustrated, before Doctor Keeler put down her pen and just watched her. It took a moment before Faith realized what it meant. "Time's up isn't it."
A nod was all she received before she stood up, walking out with the last question echoing in her head. Just as she reached the door, she threw a casual "see you next week" over her shoulder, before she left the office.