Who: Faith Lehane and Dr Keeler (NPC) What: Therapy session number one When: Monday September 11th, 2006. 10 am Where: Dr Keeler's office Rating: PG-13 for swearing and disturbing themes. Status: NARRATIVE complete NOTE: This narrative is based on my own experiences in therapy, as well as being the daughter of a counselor. However, those experiences are based on the standards of the British Psychological Society. While it is my understanding that the British and American standards are similar, some differences be present.
They were twenty minutes into her hour. Faith was sitting on the somewhat uncomfortable chair with her knees drawn up, chewing absently on her lower lip. The session thus far had consisted of nothing more than Faith confirming some of her basic details, such as her address (currently), that she didn't do drugs (any more) and her in case of emergency contact number (no one related to her). Those little, yet crucial it seemed, details took ten minutes to fill in, with the following ten spent in an awkward silence, Dr Keeler just watching her with those green eyes of hers.
"You don't have a couch."
If Dr Keeler was surprised by the content of the abrupt statement, or even the existence of it, she didn't show it. Instead she merely glanced around her office with a calm, if faintly bemused smile.
"No, I don't."
"Thought it was like the rules or something. Shrinks have couches."
"Does it bother you that I don't have a couch?"
"No," Faith looked almost dubious, as though the absence of the couch was truly all that was bothering her at that point in her life. "Just thought it was strange is all."
"Ah." The therapist nodded, but made no other movement, not glancing at the clock, not even scribbling any notes down on the slightly worn pad of paper in front of her.
The ticking of the clock echoed around the room. Briefly Faith wondered if the doctor actually counted the ticks and the tocks and that was how she kept track of how long her patients had left.
Faith wondered if it ever drove anyone crazy.
"You're not pushing me to talk," she said after several more minutes had crept by, the ticking accompanied by the slow dragging of the hands around the clock face.
"No, I'm not," Dr Keeler nodded. "It's your session, if you want to spend it in silence that's up to you. It's your money."
"Actually it's Angel's money," Faith corrected with a smirk.
"Ah yes, the one who made you your appointment," the therapist nodded, blonde hair shifting over her shoulders as she did. "Are you here because of him?"
"Isn't that pushing me to talk?"
"More like idle curiosity."
Faith eyed her with the faintest of smirks before she nodded, just a little. "Yeah, I'm here for him."
"Mind if I ask why?"
"I owe him."
"Interesting debt."
"He saved my life."
"Ah." Again, there was a nod on the part of the doctor before finally she leaned forward, looking for the first time as though she had decided to engage in the session. "So is that where your story begins?"
"No, why, you wanting to talk about my childhood now?" Faith retorted, becoming defensive for the first time since she'd entered the room, her eyebrow raised almost threateningly as she stared Dr Keeler down. To her surprise the woman merely smiled, her gaze never faltering and her posture never flinching.
"From what I understand, your childhood is merely chapter one, your story has a prologue."
It took Faith a moment to realize what she was getting at before she got a clue and she smirked again, a faintly wolfish expression sparking in her eyes. "What do you know of Slayers?"
"Only what I see on TV."
Faith almost snapped at her, bristling at the reference to Harmony's show, before she realized that Dr Keeler was kidding. She thought. It was sort of hard to tell sometimes.
"So why don't you tell me?" The doctor sat back, her gaze still on Faith and her expression unreadable. "Tell me about the origin of the Slayer first."
Faith half shrugged, uncurling her legs to sit more comfortably. "The world used to be run by demons. The Old Ones we call them now. More like gods than the demons we see these days. And the humans were beginning to rise in number, so these guys, called themselves the Shadow Men, they took a girl and they chained her to the Earth," she paused, her nose wrinkled in confusion. "I think that's meant both literally and figuratively. Anyway, they forced the essence of one of the Old Ones into her and that gave her the strength and power of the Slayer. When she died, it moved onto the next and so on through the generations."
"I see," the doctor paused in the notes she was writing and looked thoughtful for a moment. There was an intelligence in her eyes that for a painful minute reminded Faith of Diana, her first Watcher. "So it could be said," Dr Keeler said after a while. "That the Slayer has the weight of the world dragging at her feet."
Faith considered that, a new perspective at least. She'd always just considered the saying to be 'the weight of the world on her shoulders', but now she thought about it, that didn't quite fit. It wasn't a pressure pushing her down, it was one that pulled her back, a weight at her feet. Still, her only reaction was a muttered "I guess"
Dr Keeler looked again at her notes, circling two words. "I find your choice of language interesting. 'Forced into'. These men, chaining a girl down and forcing something into her, like a violation. Is that how you see it?"
"Well yeah," Faith answered without really thinking about it, her instinctive reaction. "These guys didn't exactly ask the girl if she wanted it, no Slayer ever gets asked if she wants the powers and the short life span, they just get it forced into them by this bunch of men who just wanted to use a girl for what they needed and move onto the next when she was dead. Just like a typical guy right? Use and abuse her then move onto the younger model when it suits them."
The words hung in the air, much heavier than Faith would have ever expected before her face flushed and she muttered. "Whatever. They're just words, language or whatever. It's not like I exactly got the schooling to be exact with this crap." Wasn't that always what got her into trouble? The use of a simple word, casually and people jumping on her about it. Language and words and sentences, the way things were phrased. She tried, she did, she tried to keep up with people, but the fact was she'd dropped out of high school when she was 12. Not long after Gable had come into the picture. Lack of school, distrust of men, it was the first time she'd noticed the link.
Dr Keeler's gaze felt like prickles over her skin before she made herself look up at the therapist.
"I didn't mean it, okay?"
"Do you always dismiss men so much?"
"I don't dismiss men," Faith countered. "I'm here because of a guy remember? And I have a boyfriend."
"I see," for the first time the doctor wrote something on her pad of paper, the pen scratching over the surface as she scribbled. "Is that a long term relationship?"
"I guess," Faith looked confused, wondering for a moment what possible answer she could give to not make Dr Keeler wish to discuss her relationship with Sam any further.
"I see," the other woman repeated, her gaze shifting from the pad to watching Faith closely. "Well, I'm afraid that's our time up for now. I will schedule you in for another appointment next week. In the meantime, I would like you to consider the way you feel about the men in your life. Do you respect them? Or fear them? Why do you think you are in their lives? Is it because they like you or because you believe they want something from you? Then we will pick this up next week."
Dr Keeler smiled brightly before she stood, clearly indicating for Faith to leave, the Slayer frowning slightly as she moved to the door. There was some confusion in her mind, wasn't therapy supposed to make you feel better? Instead it just left her with more questions than answers, questions that would no doubt be bugging her for some time.