InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "theres a light on in chicago"

Nathan Petrelli (selfpropelled) wrote in parabolical,
@ 2009-08-22 21:21:00

Entry tags:

faith lehane, nathan petrelli

WHO: Nathan Petrelli, Faith Lehane
WHERE: the Hyperion
WHEN: Tuesday, August 22, 2006; after these texts
WHAT: Coffee and serious talk times.
RATING: TBD
STATUS: thread; in-progress!

A mug in each hand, Nathan nudged open the office door and shut it behind him with his foot, gaze falling to the woman at the desk. He might have reservations as to what his continued role with A.I. was and would be in the future, but it didn't change that he recognized this situation very well and knew it to be one where his skills might be needed.

He could name some of the times it had happened before, such as when Tenel Ka had declined participation in the ritual that served to remove silent Hill from L.A. and Peter had gotten what was needed anyhow – and there were many more that faded to the background hum of his life, both here and in his own timeline, which proved that humanity didn't change very much. There would always be those who agreed, always be those who opposed and there would always be a person or people who had to make or choose not to make the decisions that would hold them in contempt with someone, somewhere. And they all had their own reasons, some no less valid than the next.

That person or people would also have to accept what they would hold themselves in contempt for, which was the hardest part.

Pushing aside a stack of file folders with his hip, Nathan sat on the edge of the desk and passed a mug of the infamous Petrelli coffee to Faith.

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faithinthedark
2009-08-23 01:33 am UTC (link)

There was once a time when the teachers would have bet all their money that Faith Lehane would never take a note in her life. But right now, they would have been broke as spread out over the desk was piles of note paper, some with bits of information copied out of books about the Scourge, others with details from the LA attacks. A map of the city was spread out over the floor, with scribbles of locations and dates of attacks. Faith had been staring at them for hours, days even, trying to see some pattern to the chaos. She wasn't sure the stars behind her eyes counted.

When Nathan came in, she looked up with a tired smile, gratefully reaching for the coffee. "Okay, I admit it, you're my favorite."

The smell of the coffee, the Petrelli blend no less, was perking her up just enough to be able to form whole sentences.

"I keep thinking if I stare at this enough, this mythical other way will spring out at me," she half smirked. "Dumb huh?"

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selfpropelled
2009-08-23 02:03 am UTC (link)

"That's better," Nathan said with an approving half-smirk, one that slid to a far more serious expression as she continued. Taking a deep drink of his coffee, he used that as the space to form a response, then spoke.

"Not dumb. If unicorns and Jedi can pop out of space and time, people learn to hope that other mythical things will show up." He half-shrugged, studying her. "Some never will, because either they don't exist, even in an alternate dimension, or because they're only the other way in that alternate dimension."

Setting the mug down, he laced his fingers in his lap. "Besides, it's not the other way you're looking for. It's acceptance, your acceptance, of the way you have to take that you're looking for."

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faithinthedark
2009-08-23 02:13 am UTC (link)

Unicorns. Now why couldn't some cute unicorns appear in LA and somehow make everything better? That would be awesome.

"I don't think I'm ever gonna really accept it," she admitted, wrapping her hands around the mug and feeling some comfort from the warmth as she sat back in the chair, drawing her knees up.

"Do I have to take it?" She asked, looking up at Nathan with a serious expression. "If I decide not to do this, will the deaths that follow be on my head as much as any that would happen if I did?" She frowned slightly and thought about it. "If that sentence even made sense."

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selfpropelled
2009-08-23 02:45 am UTC (link)

"It made sense," Nathan said quietly. And it really did, without him needed some kind of mental link or instruction manual or even his experience advising Peter. He understood because it was a position he'd even been in himself.

"Logically? No, those deaths aren't on your head. We were all brought here and you can argue we're all responsible. Logically, what you don't do, because you decide you value those demons' lives and sanity too much, someone else will do because they don't value those lives."

Honestly, Nathan was surprised some of their allies, those connected to A.I. but not on the team and thus not truly answerable to anyone, hadn't already acted. Perhaps they had, and just hadn't been successful.

"But it's not about logic," he said quietly, dead serious. "You're, at times, two people – Faith Lehane and the Slayer, and both side of you don't give the Slayer the luxury of setting aside any responsibility. To you, 'Slayer' is synonymous with 'Champion', you expect the Slayer to be responsible for each and every single life, good or bad, in this city. You say you have a boss above you, but you don't pass the buck on to that boss."

As Peter had felt and done, countless times before, no matter how much Nathan had tried to reason with him. It was why changing Faith's mind about her views wasn't the answer. "I can sit here and say it won't be on your head and in the end, it won't matter, because of how you feel."

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faithinthedark
2009-08-23 10:38 am UTC (link)

Faith's gaze shifted to the map with the various pins stuck in it. Locations of attacks. Date and time. Number of victims. "You know," she started, not looking up yet. "Something you learn in murder rehab. Every choice has consequences. Even the choice not to make a choice. My decision has come into play here and now whatever happens next is my responsibility."

It was truly the way she looked at it. In prison it was taught to face the consequences of choices and accept responsibility for them. "I wasn't brought to the city, I walked back in," she murmured. "Could probably walk out again at any time I wanted, head up to Cleveland and deal with the Hellmouth there. That could be fun." But she wouldn't. No matter how much other people got at her, Faith couldn't bring herself to leave.

"I know that a lot of the bars are closing their doors to the half breeds to avoid attention from the Scourge. I know that a lot of the purer demons are more than happy to throw targets in the Scourge's direction to keep from being attacked themselves for some reason. I also know that the Scourge aren't taking direction from these guys, they think them not much above the half breeds," she smirked bitterly.

"What I don't know is why this bar?" She pointed at the bar that had been wiped out. "Why this vamp nest or why this community? Of all the ones out there, why did the Scourge choose these ones at the times they did? Do the Scourge plan these attacks or are they just random things? And if they plan them then why? What is it about these groups as opposed to the others?"

It bothered her, a hell of a lot. Trying to see a pattern to the madness and seeing just a mess.

"Without knowing this stuff, I can't even begin to guess where they'll strike next or formulate a defense."

The frustration of getting no where was starting to really show as Faith scowled and looked away from the map and back to Nathan.

"'Slayer', 'Champion', what does it all mean anyway?" She shook her head. "Someone came along and slammed a destiny down on our laps and said, deal with it. But Angel's dead. Peter's off in the Labyrinth. And Buffy's only been in town again for five minutes. In the end, it is my responsibility."

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selfpropelled
2009-08-23 07:57 pm UTC (link)

"You're looking for a pattern, but you also need to be willing to accept that you may find none at all," Nathan said, reaching for his coffee again. "Marching as one in the night doesn't mean minds and actions aren't entirely chaotic."

He drank his coffee, listening, processing and once more choosing his words carefully. Part of doing what he was doing was knowing that at any time, his words might hit a sore spot and he would have a volatile, powered individual on his hands, one not happy with him. But part of being Nathan Petrelli meant being too focused, or just too unconcerned about his own state, to care.

"It's still a responsibility you choose to take on, Faith. You're right, you could walk away. I'm not saying it would be easy, I'm not saying trouble wouldn't follow you because you're the Slayer, but you could throw away the life and leave. You could leave and the PTB could bring another Slayer, or a squad from one of these other cities could decide to show up, or something else."

He rested a hand on her shoulder. "But you choose not to leave. And when you make this choice, about the information you need, you need to remind yourself of that, and anyone else you think needs reminded of that. As long as you talk about having no choice in being who and where you are, the people who follow you won't see a strong leader who knows her own mind and can accept the consequences of her choices, they'll see one backed into a corner, they'll see you as someone as trapped as they sometimes feel by being here."

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faithinthedark
2009-08-23 08:15 pm UTC (link)

"They have a plan," Faith muttered, glaring at the piles of notes as if it were their fault she didn't have the answers. "I just need to figure out what it is so I can stop them."

She listened to Nathan's advice, chewing on her lip and for the first time wanting nothing more than just being locked up in prison again. She never had to deal with the Slayer stuff there, save for the occasional assassin sent in to kill her for being one.

"Tried walking away before. Didn't exactly get far. Being the Slayer is what I am, it's my destiny," she smirked mirthlessly, remembering her conversation with Buffy barely a day ago. "Me and B, we always say screw destiny while accepting that we are, in fact, destiny's bitches. Fun legacy to live with huh."

She leaned in slightly into Nathan's hand, glad for the first physical contact she'd had with anyone for days.

"I don't want to do this. God, I wish there was another option, I do. But I don't have another choice, even if that does make me weak. I talk to them, maybe they die for it. I don't talk to them, I'll never know why they were targeted and more will die, probably including them." Backed into a corner, trapped. It summed up pretty well how she felt right now. Trying so hard to find the other way but seeing nothing. "God, I just miss Angel so damn much right now." Peter too, but it was Angel who had had more impact on her life, who had saved her and who understood her.

"Buffy thinks I should do it. I respect her opinion. And Sam really thinks I should, which..." she trailed off with a sigh. "Hell I really don't know what to make of that," she glanced up at Nathan with a half wince. "We're complicated right now." Complicated was one word for it anyway.

"I know what Angel would do. And Peter, well, he took TK's blood without her consent to stop the Silent Hill problem." So many people she respected, cared about, who's orders she'd followed before. "What do you think?"

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selfpropelled
2009-08-24 08:17 pm UTC (link)

"You know my opinion on Sam,"Nathan said, somewhat ruefully, squeezing her shoulder in an unconscious apology that there were some things he would never really accept as 'good enough' for her, "so the most diplomatic thing I'm gonna say right now is that you can listen, but don't include his opinion in your argument of what you're doing, because while you might believe in where its coming from, there are people in this building, this city, who won't." Especially himself, but that had been clear for a long time.

But the question of what he thought was a complicated one. The reason that he had served so well as Peter's second-in-command was because they had complimented each other so well. They had an understanding of each other, not just with the mental link but in knowing the best and worst of each other, so as much as Peter knew than Nathan would reign him in from rash, ill-thought plans, Nathan knew that Peter would always be the moral center for both of them when Nathan's suggestions went into an uncomfortable grey area.

He didn't have that familiar certainty here, so he could only say what he thought, just as it was.

"We don't know what else these demons who were killed know. That's a point everyone agrees on. The only way to find out is to ask, which is also something every seems to agree on." And that was where the ground got morally shaky, but there were very, very few cases where good meant being all good and evil meant being all evil.

"If they're reluctant to talk, we need to press the issue, because that information could save our lives, their lives and the rest of the city. If you're confident enough that we'll do no more than needed and that we can minimize the consequences of us getting that information, then we're gonna need to act now, because this has gone on too long."

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faithinthedark
2009-08-25 01:46 am UTC (link)

Faith offered a slightly crooked rueful smile. Yeah, she knew his opinion on Sam. She didn't blame him for it and there was maybe, maybe a small part of her that sort of liked it a little bit, that part who had never had a decent father or older brother who could disapprove of her boyfriends. "Honestly? As much as I know Sam's good at what he does, I'm not letting his view influence mine. Or any of the Winchesters for that matter." She felt bad saying it, but it was true. "They are the best at what they do, but that doesn't really include understanding the gray areas of this world. They're getting better at it, they are, but I get that it's asking them to change their entire life view and that's gonna take a hell of a lot of time."

The trouble was, everyone knew she wasn't exactly unbiased when it came to Sam. That he'd fooled her for months when he'd been going around behind her back with Ruby. She could say until she was dead that she wasn't following him on this, she doubted everyone would believe her.

"I know my limits," she looked up at Nathan again, her expression serious. "I don't want to go in there all guns blazing. What I want is to go in there and ask nicely and get the answers and then be able to protect them as well as everyone else. If I have to press them, I will. I'll raise my voice, I'll make a threat, I'll throw a punch and I'd do it in that order. As soon as I have the information I'll leave and do everything I can to keep them save and if they want to hate me after that, they can. As long as they're alive to do it. I just hope, I really hope that they get that telling me what they know is the best chance they have against the Scourge as well as everyone else."

And Nathan was right, this really had gone on long enough. Faith glanced down as Madra woke up from where he'd been sleeping under the desk, leaning down to pick up the puppy, hugging him to her lap. "Sam got him for me," she half smiled as she explained the doberman/boxer cross to Nathan. "Always wanted a puppy." She tickled him behind the ears as she looked once more at the map.

"You're right. We've got to act now before it's too late."

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selfpropelled
2009-08-27 10:26 am UTC (link)

"If they have any sense, they'll understand that as dangerous as helping is, you're their only shot at surviving anyhow," Nathan said, fully certain it was true. These demons and anyone in the city with human blood would die if they couldn't mount a defense, there was no question of it if the Scourge continued at the rate they had already. That wasn't something Nathan could stand by and let happen.

At the mention of the puppy, Nathan moved from the desktop to crouch next to the chair. "Cute. One more set of teeth to tear the place apart," he said, amused, but his tone was gentle as he offered fingertips to the puppy to sniff and then briefly stroked under his chin.

And then his attention turned back to Faith as he stood up.

"Get a few hours of rest, or at least a break from staring at these maps," he said, ruffling her hair slightly with the same sort of half-distracted but affectionate air he'd use with any of his family members. "Then you can rally your backup on this." Titles and positions and hierarchy and his uncertainty with it didn't change the human feeling behind Nathan's connections in this hotel.

Thinking it the end of the discussion, as he was nearly certain she'd heard what she needed to hear and decided what she needed to decide, he picked up his mug. "Now back to the piles of paperwork that refuse to budge," he said with a slight smile and headed out of the office.

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