winchester, sam. (![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} demonblood) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} parabolical,@ 2009-06-29 18:19:00 |
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| Entry tags: | castiel, ruby, sam winchester |
WHO: Sam and Ruby; Castiel later.
WHAT: Sam is looking for blood, but only ends up getting the truth instead.
WHEN: Late afternoon, bordering on evening.
WHERE: Ruby's apartment.
RATING: Language.
STATUS: Complete.
Sam had only spent a few days cowering away within the panic room, locked off from everyone and everything else aside from the things that came lurching out of his own mind. Monsters, memories, emotions; all attacking, all circling him like buzzards hungry to dig their claws into their prey. The blood that he had inside of him had run clear through his system, leaving Sam worn through, miserable, and oddly a lot more emotionally capable than he had felt in a very long time. He had been able to dull most things out before, but now...now he felt different. Angry, betrayed, guilty, worried, hopeful. All at once, stabbing through him repeatedly until he wanted to, and actually had at several points while in the panic room, grab each side of his head and bellow out with an almighty scream. The parts of him that weren't busy cursing everyone involved with his capture and lockdown was busy wishing that they'd all be able to understand how important it was that he had that blood. They also, annoyingly, wished that he had not been so stupid about keeping it all a big secret from everyone. Perhaps if he had been honest from the start, they'd not be in this position.
Yeah. Right.
They could do whatever they wanted. Attempt to lock him away, glare at him, curse him to high Hell and back. Sam didn't care. The only thing, at the moment, that he wanted more than anything in the world was to get back to Ruby, slice her open, and take that blood. He had to drink. Had to get it back inside of him. He was so cold and weak without it. Vulnerable. That was the perfect term to describe it. Sam was vulnerable, emotionally and physically, and he didn't like it a single bit.
Escaping had been a difficult task. His family had been keeping a close eye on him and, as Sam well knew, they were far from stupid. They knew how to keep someone where they wanted them to be. Yet at the same time, Sam knew how to get away from someone when he needed to. It took a bit of planning and consideration, but Sam eventually managed to figure a way out that worked in his favor. Having made a convincing show of needing to take a shower, Sam moved into the bathroom, turned up the water as high as it could manage, locked the door shut behind himself, and climbed his way out of the window and out into the open streets below. The journey to Ruby's had to be made quickly. He knew that they would figure out that he had taken off far more quickly than he would have preferred.
But that was all right. All he needed was a few minutes with Ruby. Then they'd both be free.
If Castiel had not taken her off somewhere at this point, then she'd likely be at home. Waiting. She had to be waiting. Ruby had to know that he'd be coming for her as soon as he got the chance. Feet quickly guiding him to her apartment, Sam staggered his way across the sidewalk of the building opposing hers and fell to a halt. He actually sort of looked a bit like a zombie: dark circles under his eyes, pale skin, sloppy hair, and a frame that looked so much thinner than usual that his clothes actually didn't seem to be fitting him entirely the way they used to anymore. Stumbling lightly, Sam fell back a few steps and found the wall behind him, looking up and out to the window that he knew belonged to her. She'd be inside. She had to be in there.
"Ruby! HEY!"
She still sat in the trap, a bigger one, it and the things like blankets she was taking as little signs, small little things to show that maybe he didn't completely hate her had grown, she had her bedroom, cleared of most anything she could use for spells or anything she could use to contact Sam, no phone, no laptop. But he'd left her reasonably comfortable, she wondered what that meant , maybe she had a chance of building something back up, she just had to hope he didn't go with his angelic nature and what she figured he'd thought more than once about doing, and hand her over to the people with every right to take the revenge they wanted. He wasn't about to let her try to get to...
Sam. He was here. He was just outside.
She nearly ran to the window, not getting far enough, he hadn't let the trap extend entirely that far, though the window was open to let some air in. And she didn't even know if he was here, he left sometimes, knowing his trap was secure enough that she was away from everything she could use, but he'd know if she did anything, tried anything and she thought he might just smite her and be done with it if she did. But Sam was here. Here. Just outside, if she stood right to the edge of the trap she could see him. He could get her out of here and they could go, they could finish it.
He looked awful.
Really truly awful.
"Sam, go back, go home, get..." , What?, Get clean? Get help? "I can't give you any more. I swore I...I promised him Sam"
Just go, just go just go just go.
It was almost a mantra. She really, truly didn't want to explain but she wondered if maybe that was what she was supposed to do.
If she did that though, if she gave it all up, told him everything. That would be it. Over. And maybe that'd be it for her too. If only he'd just go home.
Sam's spirits lifted ever so slightly when he saw her, just a bit, looking out through the window. What was she doing? Why didn't she come closer? Brow furrowing, he stepped forward dizzily and peered up, waiting for her to suggest that he come inside or that she'd be out in a hurry so that he could be taken care of. A hopeful expression mixed in with his exhausted features, but it quickly faded when Ruby began to speak.
Castiel had gotten to her. He must have. His lectures, his almighty stance on all that they had been doing. The stupid angel with his stupid orders and stupid beliefs had ruined Ruby. Nearly growling in frustration, Sam stepped forward a few more paces and shook his head, almost in disbelief. She couldn't be serious. Was she choosing that angel over HIM? After all that they had done together and all that they had been through? After all of her promises? That wasn't happening. He had to convince her otherwise. Sam was determined to make Ruby see sense.
"What are you doing?" His voice was loud, but just as worn as he looked. "I can't go home! I ran off from them! If I go back now -" He shook his head, another wave of disbelief finding him. "Come outside! Come on! We can find someplace safe, we can hide from them until I get enough to..." To do what, exactly? Fight them off? His family and friends? The people that he was supposed to be protecting? That didn't sound right. But maybe it was the only option. For right now, they had to be fended off until he could get strong enough to do everything on his own. Without Ruby. "What are you waiting for? They'll be here ANY MINUTE. Let's go!"
She'd come out, all right. It was Ruby. She was smarter than them. She knew what was right.
He was pleading, he'd run off from whoever had been with him, and someone had, cause there was no way Sam would have been let out alone. No way at all. He really was hooked, and she'd known it was a possibility, known it could happen. But she'd figured it wouldn't be for too long. Figured she just had to get him home. But if Castiel was right, if everything she'd believed had been a lie, then she'd done this to him for nothing.
He didn't look good, pale and thinner than he'd been.
She'd done this to him, and here in this city where she'd destroyed him, that actually meant something to her. It didn't take her long to decide, mostly because she didn't think about it, she just started to speak.
"It was a lie Sammy" she yelled coldly turning to face him from the window, a cold and haughty expression on her face. She'd have to break him. Have to cut the last ties to what she believed, years and years of planning gone because she hadn't been strong enough. The Most Loyal yes, but not apparently when it had counted here in this strange city where she'd just been improvising because it had left her with no other choice but to follow her original orders and get him ready. "It was a plan. Azazel's plan, and I was in on it almost from the start"
She had to play it just right, keep up the act, keep up the haughty demon bitch attitude. If this was going to be it. If this was gonna destroy any chance of her ever freeing Lucifer then dammit she was going to save Sam doing it. Saving him meant destroying the bloods hold on him, the idea that it was ever anything he could use for 'good'. Even if he hated her for it, and he really would...
"I lied to you, that blood, your powers, its nothing good, its nothing you can turn to help people. Keep it up and its just gonna make you like me. Yeah, I did it to you. Made you this, Played you, like I have been for two years, and it still amazes me, how easy it was, you were so...malleable, so willing to believe me. Azazel always hoped it would be you. Your family always did so love the self sacrifice."
He'd hate her.
"Who did you think you were dealing with 'Boy King'...what did you think I wanted? To be your friend? To be the helpful little demon?. You don't even know what you were for. Everything I did, Azazel did, Lilith, Just to get you where you needed to be, That night they caught us? I was gonna drag you back home, made a deal with Wolfram and Hart to get you home before she came here and died, you were gonna kill Lilith. Fun right, kill the bitch you've wanted to for so long all on your own. Only it had a little spin on the tale...One Winchester starts it another finishes it..."
She closed her eyes as she spoke, betraying everything, Everything
"And it is written, that The First Demon, shall be the last seal'. If you'd killed her, you ended her in the right place...You would have brought back the boss himself, You would have resurrected Lucifer."
And she laughed mockingly, cruelly before turning from the window stepping out of Sam's sight, and raising a shaky hand to her mouth, the enormity of what she'd done coming in a rush to her. She couldn't think about anything, not Castiel or Lucifer or Lilith, or Azazel, any of it. She could only focus on resisting the urge to vomit.
Azazel. Lilith. Lucifer. The Apocalypse that Sam had heard so much about. Tales of it all, weaved straight from Ruby herself through all the time that they had known one another. He had heard it all before, just not like this. Her words were usually of distaste for all of the above, stating that he would be able to stop Lilith and, in the process, the breaking of the final seal that would be responsible for bringing on Lucifer's rise and the end of the world. All true, sort of, but twisted in a way that she had been able to use to her advantage.
Her advantage. Ruby had lied.
"No," Sam gasped, shaking his head in denial. He stepped back, looking absolutely uncertain. It couldn't be. Not Ruby. Not her.
"You're lying!" She had to be lying. This was Ruby. She was supposed to be the only one that was different, the one who remembered what it was like to be human - the one that CARED. Not this, not like every other twisted creature that he had seen climb out from the pits of Hell. She was different. She was special. She was...
Still a demon. The thought came so fast that Sam had not even seen it coming. The questions coming in from everyone else, all based on WHY was she so different, why was she the exception? Because. She was. The only response, illogical as it had been, was all that Sam ever had available to fire back. It had not been good enough then. And it certainly was not good enough now, even as Sam attempted to figure out a way to convince himself that this, every last inch of it, was a solid lie. A story. Some twist of the imagination that Ruby had designed to throw at him because Castiel had not given her any other choice.
But if that were true, then why had Ruby's act seemed so convincing? Why hadn't she made some sort of signal to show him that it was all a game? A joke? Some sort of silly thing created for the purpose of driving him off when, in reality, all she wanted was for him to come upstairs where they'd be able to become a team again? She was supposed to be his friend. The person that he confided in, the one that he turned to when there was no one else in the world that would ever be able to understand him. What had happened to her? Where was she?
Lilith was the final seal. He was a weapon. A tool. Nothing more.
No.
"You were supposed to..." His voice was barely audible out there in the street. He couldn't really speak, not with all these thoughts and sudden realizations racing through his tired mind. She was supposed to teach him. Make him stronger. But her words, ringing in his head, came into touch with what he was supposed to have known all along. She was a demon. They were all the same. They all lied, cheated, did terrible, terrible things. And he, Sam Winchester, the one that was supposed to be incredibly clever, had decided to become friends with one of them. He had chosen to ignore everything that he knew, just because he believed that maybe, somehow, there was a distant possibility of her being a tiny bit different from all the rest. Just like he was different from everyone else as well. There were supposed to be the same. But he wasn't a demon and he sure as hell wasn't rooting for the door to be opened downstairs, allowing for Lucifer himself to escape from Hell. No way. That wasn't him at all.
Ruby was one of the bad guys. Like Azazel. Like Lilith. The shock held him down for the longest time, leaving him quietly standing out there in the street with nothing but a horrified expresison planted onto his face. That demon, the one who had claimed to be his friend, the one that he had spent his time eating fries with and even trusted with the most personal details of his life was no different than the rest. She was a monster too.
Maybe they both were.
"You lied, all this time," Sam said, voice finally finding him again. He hesitated, before looking up at the window in pure fury. "I'll kill you, Ruby. Do you hear me? I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
She really shouldn't have expected any different, but for some reason she did. She wasn't sure what she thought she might feel. The threat, it broke her heart almost as much as that look on Castiel's face when he had figured out just how deep her lies went. Because him and Sam, they meant so much to her, and yet she'd still done this, because thats what she was supposed to do. Maybe Castiel was right.
Even thinking it, even for a second was against everything she was, but he'd changed her, and strangely, so had Sam. Thats why she wanted him to be rewarded after all, because while he'd started out a weapon he was so much more than that now, But she couldn't tell him. No she had to play the role she'd started in. Not a friend. Not anymore. She couldn't be.
She focused herself, turned her expression back to that coldness and walked toward the window again.
"Did you really think one of us could be different. I got you hooked, and look at you, too weak to fight it, too weak to do anything but come running to me, crying for my blood. You're pathetic"
She wanted him to leave, needed him to. Because she couldn't keep this up for too long more.
This wasn't easy for him. Going from the one who depended and relied on Ruby for practically everything to having to be the one who was shouting for her death. Did he even mean it? The only thing that Sam could determine at this point was that he now officially knew what it really was like to be betrayed. His family, they had all betrayed him, throwing him into that room and leaving him there to dry out. Now there was Ruby. Finally turning her back on him. Or, technically, having had her back turned on him all along.
Oh God. He felt sick.
"This isn't over," Sam declared, voice growing louder. He'd get her knife. He'd rip her apart. Ruby was going to be done with. She should have been done with. From the very beginning.
Now what was he supposed to do? He was messed up, that much was obvious. Ruby was against him. His family - what were they going to do when he turned back up after running off like that? Would they even take him back in after the detox had gone underway? Did they even WANT him anymore? He couldn't go back. Not to them, not to Faith - oh no, Faith. Another ill feeling swept through him. He had screwed up badly, hadn't he? Trusting Ruby, drinking her blood...
He still wanted it, too. He was craving it now, out there in the street. Wishing that he could lock Ruby up and just use her, the way she had used him, for blood related purposes only. How would she like him then? What if he caged HER away and bled her dry every day and that was it?
No, he'd just kill her. Ruby would be through with and then he could worry about facing his family and friends. Looking determined, Sam moved forward, fully prepared to break into her apartment and fight that knife away from her. When it was in his hands, he'd kill her. Ruby was finished.
Castiel was listening. To all of it. As much as Ruby thought he sometimes left her alone, in reality he just watched her, hidden in the shadows. All the hex bags, all the things that had once hidden her from him, they were gone. And he watched her, watched the way she prowled in the trap like a caged tiger.
When Sam had arrived he'd tensed, prepared to do... something. Anything. He didn't know what. But no more blood was going to pass his lips, Castiel knew that much. But she'd told him the truth, as harsh and bitter and twisted as it was. The angel was honestly surprised. But any further reaction had to wait until after Sam himself was immediately dealt with.
There was a brush of air and a flutter of wings as Castiel appeared in front of Sam, standing between him and the apartment.
"What are you doing Sam?"
There he was again, popping in at surprise to give Sam a hard time. He found that he really, really did not feel terribly fond of the angel at this point. Scowling, Sam halted momentarily in his step, gaze flicking back to the window looming ahead. She was right inside. If he could get past Castiel, difficult as the task sounded, he'd be home free.
"What I should have done a long time ago," he responded, eyes narrowing. "Don't try and stop me."
Yeah, telling the angel that he was about to go off and kill the demon that he loved probably wasn't the best plan ever. Sam actually didn't care.
"She has to go. Move."
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