Entry tags:

ed zeddmore, harmony kendall

WHO: Ed Zeddmore and Harmony.
WHAT: Vampire meets Ghostbuster...facer, whatever
WHEN: Evening of the 29th June 06.
WHERE: Devil Wears Prada premiere!
RATING TBD
STATUS Complete!!

There weren't any real ghost cases in this city. He had checked out all of the spots with the claim to fame on hauntings, but none of them had quite lived up to his expectations. Things had gotten so dull that Ed eventually found himself going from door to door, knocking at random homes and asking if they had any paranormal activities going on within their homes. Apparently, that was viewed as a sexual offense, as Ed had to fend the cops off of him about the matter after being reported for his behavior. The people in this city were terribly naive. Did they not know that he, Ed Zeddmore, was on a very important mission? Did they not want the truth of all things evil revealed to them?

Stupid people with their heads in the clouds. If only they had more sense. Ah, well. He truly was like the rare kryptonian, stranded on earth among billions of humans. Not one of them were like him. They certainly weren't as smart or as good looking or as charming or -

"Watch it, man," a voice grunted. Ed pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, shaking the string of personal compliments from his mind, and stepped to the right, watching with a lack of interest as two men hauled a large, black box into the theater. The box was big. It'd easily crush someone if it were knocked over. Maybe a small child? A little old lady? Spock? Just one more thing for whatever horrible creature was bound to take on this theater tonight to use against them all. Now, Ed might not have been so fantastic with the missions lately, but he knew a disaster when he saw one. And this? It had murder, mayhem, and horror written all over it. This movie, the one about fashion and demonic forces, was not something to be ignored by a supernatural expert like himself.

The movie had to be stopped.

The movie was going to be AWESOME.

Or at least she was. Harmony Kendall, star of the ever popular 'Harmony Bites' climbed from her limo and walked toward the theatre, pausing on the carpet, as usual for autographs and photos and general being amazing. Because she was. Her public loved her!. Still hated the Slayers of course but she had tried. She answered question after question. About her fashion and beauty regimen, about helping the good people of LA. Even about Spike. No that wasn't his real hair colour, yes that was his real accent. Yes he'd had it before Billy Idol and she wasn't entirely sure who Sid and Nancy were so she ignored that one.

And who was Drusilla?

"Oh. My. God I do NOT answer questions about her. She's ugly you know, funny shaped nose. Not real. One time she tried to kill me you know. Jealous much!"

Stupid Paparazzi.

"Uh huh, yeah its gonna be a fabulous movie! Anne Hathaway is totally like my BFF. She's gonna be on the show pretty soon. We do makeovers for people. Its so much fun"

Where was Spike?

"Oh he couldn't make it, saving the world and all, like he does"

The phrase 'not a sodding chance in a million bloody years' had been used. Or something British sounding or other. Not that she'd tell them. No saving the world sounded better. She missed him though, he should totally be here. He was a lame boyfriend sometimes. But entirely hot, and good in bed. And British, any one who was anyone was dating someone foreign.

Unlike Harmony, Ed was shunned to the side, lost among the crowd of eager photographers, fans, and reporters alike. He, however, was not among the dozens trying to catch a glimpse of the celebrities walking the carpet. Why even think about that when he knew that he was going to be one of them someday? No; he was going to be above them! As soon as he got an actual pilot out for Ghostfacers, he'd be walking carpets just like this one with people ranked higher than Angeline Jolie and Paris Hilton begging for his attention. Someday soon. Toting the camera that he had brought along for the event - for supernatural related reasons, not to take a picture of anyone that he could easily Google - Ed slipped his way past the roaring crowd and, after shoving a small woman in front of one of the security guards (she was crazy enough of a fan to pass off for one trying to break into the area), Ed eased his way in through the side entrance and started his way, rather eagerly, toward the interior of the building.

Once inside, he wandered the lobby. Easedropping, listening carefully for any signs of potential danger. Outside of some of the wardrobes that the celebrities were wearing, Ed didn't see anything worth titling as an actual threat. Seriously, how did those women walk in those dresses? And what was with the hats? People didn't wear hats with dresses!

Fashion. Man, it was more confusing than the idiots who thought making another Scooby Doo film was an intelligent concept.

Hefting his camera upward, Ed turned and snapped a few shots of the lobby for future reference. Then he turned, caught sight of some blonde making her way through the entrance, and stepped forward - not to snap the shot of her, but to focus on the archway - and pressed down firmly on the release button. The camera flashed, the shot ran through, and the picture was, oddly, lacking in the amount of attention that was required for him to get the arch in entirely. Why? Because his upstairs brain was sadly lacking in the focus that he needed in order to get the job done. Who was the blonde, exactly? He didn't know. But the fact that she was making his downstairs brain more attentive was certainly worth being aware of.

He had to introduce himself.

"Excuse me, pardon me - yeah, you, move," Ed stated repeatedly, pushing his way through the lobby to get to the woman. When he was close enough, he straightened his glasses once more and flashed her a look that he claimed to be charming. It was sort of lacking, as Harry liked to often point out, but Ed was firm on the opposing belief. "Hi. I'm Ed."

Aww, a crazy persistant fan. Those were always fun.

And she'd just gotten in the door and sent her PA off to get her blood, she couldn't watch a movie without blood.

"Ooh and crush some ice in it, keeps it all cool" she called after her before turning back to the fan, who was called Ed.

"Um, hi..." she tried "Do you want an autograph. Only you really shouldn't be in here. This is a premire and you're kinda not dressed to impress, not that you don't...um..."

Maybe she and Anne could make him the first guest. He totally needed it. The camera was annoying though, was he another paparazzi. They were so intrusive sometimes, though way handy to feed from. If she did that sort of thing, which she didn't, mostly. She hadn't killed anyone in forever because no one had tried to kill her first. Also dating Spike the human killing was a total no no. She knew it was the soul now, but before that the chip made him feel all vampiricly impotant. He had hated that phrase but it was true!

Still he'd gotten better. Sort of.

"Harmony!" called the PA "They have AB, O and O neg on hold for you?"

"Ew, O neg is like way common. AB, with the ice!" she called back before turning back to Ed.

"Okay so Autograph and then you totally have to go and stand with the other fans, kay?"

Blood types? What the hell did she want to have blood for? With ice? Was she going to DRINK that blood? Ew! Gross! "I don't want your autograph," Ed responded, looking a bit confused. Blood? Why would she drink blood? Was there something wrong with her? Was she mentally ill? Was she - oh no.

Damn! Double damn! Why hadn't he thought to bring one of those pointy stakes with him? Or garlic! Oh, the damage he could do with a clove of that! He knew that something was going to go wrong here in this theater tonight and now, after having gone through so much trouble to get here, he had been right. Aha! Except...well, there was the whole getting out of here alive portion of the evening that he was going to have to ensure happened first. That, of course, and the killing of the big threat.

...the big threat that more than one person seemed to be aware of. That had just been a friend of hers, calmly calling out about her blood, hadn't it? In public?

"You're a vampire! That is waaaay off my radar!" He needed holy water! A cross! Silver! Something to use against her, stat! "EVERYONE! HEY! VAMPIRE!" Warning the public. Some of them might not have been aware of the unpleasant being before him.

Man. He was gonna give her his number too. But now she had to go and ruin it with her craving for blood types.

Ok this was a cosmic joke sent to bite her in the ass. A Hunter. A Hunter here???

"Okay see Lindsey Bitch-han gave me such crap when I upstaged her at the Golden Globes, so thats not what I'm doing here so shush with the vampire."

She turned smiling sweetly to the cameras and journalists that were quickly gathering around to see just what had transpired, was she going to vamp out and kill them again? They probably thought it was okay if she did, self defence and all. Or that it was a stunt. It was so not a stunt. She'd have picked someone more badass.

"You don't work for AI. And I only really get threatened by them, the lame-o's in tights and the glowery brothers of glower and occasional 'street' Hunter Gangs, and Slayers, but not so much since I killed one that one time. So which do you work for. Cause way unfair. Right at a premire?"

That rhymed, Sorta. TMZ so had their headline.

"They do know what I am. I'm on Fox" she explained "Harmony Bites. Grrr" she tried, vamping out for a minute playfully before restoring her human features, cause yellow eyes did NOT go well with her dress. "The Blonde with real Bite?"

Did he not know her?.

Lame. She would go ahead and order the billboards.

Oh, yuck! Her face! He really didn't want to hit on THAT. Could one imagine how bad the sex would have been if she changed her face up on him like that in the middle of everything? Disgusting! Mouth turning upside down, Ed glanced over his shoulder, only to find a whole new crowd staring at them. Well! This was it, wasn't it? His big shot at gaining some fame to his already wonderful name. All he had to do was show up this vampire, through the force of his almighty levels of awesome, and he'd be the new big thing.

"I work for me," Ed declared, reaching down with a hand to hike up his jeans a bit at his waist. Yeah, he saw plenty of cowboys do that in the movies. It was so badass. "I'm a lone ranger. I fight the forces of evil all by myself. Ed Zeddmore is my name and kicking asses, in some cases as nice as yours, is my game."

The crowd seemed to be interested in that. Yeah! That's what they wanted to hear, wasn't it?

"I don't know what nutjob gave you a timeslot, but it's about to get taken away and replaced with something way, way more badass." Ed turned to look at the crowd, flashing them all a smug sort of look in the process. "That's right, kiddies. You think she's tough stuff? Wait until you catch me on Ghostfacers. Hardcore action, hardcore ghosts, fights to the death. Best thing you'll ever see on your shiny little TV sets. Ever."


Harmony's eyes widened. Ghosts freaked her right out. She remembered Phantom Dennis, still not entirely sure he'd forgiven her for almost biting Cordy. Ghosts were creepy, and if this guy fought them, even if he was lame, that would be kind of a good thing. More people should fight ghosts. She was almost tempted to go to Cordy's old place and get Dennis back for being a jerk. A ghosty jerk. So maybe all this wasn't so bad, or so she thought, at least until he threatened her. This was looking like SUCH a stunt.

Crap Crap Crap. Anne still better do the show. Bitch owed her.

"Hey...thats cool. The little Ghost show idea, how about you come on Harmony Bites and we talk about it in my place over like, what do Ghostbusters drink?" she asked him. "Cause I could kick your ass but first off, this is a very expensive and pretty dress and second, well, the movies starting. So maybe we all calm down and go in and watch it and you get some publicity for your pilot. Which is needed, cause ghosts are evil. How about that?"

Diplomacy thy name is Harmony.

Cause no one was gonna kick her ass. Especially not someone that had just used the phrase 'Lone Ranger'

"Ghostfacers, actually," Ed corrected. Ghostbusters weren't anywhere near as badass. Slimers and whatever the hell else they had going for them was way uncool in comparison to the way it really went down.

Ed considered her for a long moment. This vampire actually wanted to let him come onto her show to talk about the Ghostfacers? Or, well, Ghostfacer considering that he was the only current member of his team standing. Man, he was gonna have to do some serious recruiting soon. It really was a shame that Harry wasn't around for all this. He knew, more than anything, that his best friend would be completely and entirely stoked about the chance at actually being let on TV. Without having their pilot aired yet! The only concerning matter was that it was the show of a vampire, and that meant that she was either screwing around with him or looking to eat him alive. Ew. Fangs all in his neck. His neck. Yeah, that wasn't happening anytime soon.

"Two things," Ed started, leveling his way closer to her. Yeah, she was scary and weird, but he had faced scarier looking things in the past. Well, twice. Two times in his entire life. Unless he wanted to count his grandmother while drunk on Christmas, in which case it was once every single year. "A? I'm not coming onto your show to be mocked or maimed. I'm a serious, serious entertainer and I don't need to be the one to go out and become humilated or eaten. At all." He lifted his chin proudly. "And B? I could so kick your ass from here to Mexico City without breaking a sweat. It's all part of the awesome that is me."

The movie was starting? Who cared about the movie starting? Didn't she realize that he was way more cool than that lame Demons Wear Pantyhose or whatever it was that they were airing inside? Really now.

Okay, see now he was stepping on her turf pretending to be badass. That just wouldn't do, like at all. But still, she had fans. Fans that probably would be less than enthused if she ate him. Also the Slayers would be piiised and Buffy and Faith scared her.

"We'll talk business then" said Harmony, she'd been sort of lying trying to get away from the guy, she had about twenty minutes of more photos and trailers and whatever else so she could probably talk to the guy, teach him a few home truths.

"Come stand over here, all in view so you're not all scared I'll bite you" she said walking him across to a quieter corner.

"First. I'm Harmony Kendall, and NO one threatens Harmony Kendall in front of her public. Now I'm strictly on a non human diet but I'm totally willing to make the exception if you try and upstage me ever ever again okay!" she explained, her voice breezy and light but her grip at his shoulder tightening just enough to highlight how entirely not human she was.

"Second, You can come on the show, you can talk about your ghost stuff, Cause believe it or not. I agree, Ghosts are way evil and need to be sent to the grave and whatever. Boo to ghosts. Besides I wouldn't maim you on live TV. Not even on Fox. Give me some credit"

He followed her over, taking the way the crowd had reacted to his act of superiority as a sign that she was either going to be grumpy or impressed with him. He was personally hoping for the latter, but the grumpy would be worth obtaining as well, if only because it meant that he was getting under her skin. Scaring her. Seriously, if he had that clove of garlic? He could have this chick running and screaming before the movie even started. Then the cameras would be even farther on him and, well, his name would be spreading so fast that no one would even remember whoever this Harmony Kendall person was by the time he was through. That was how it would be if he managed to get onto her show. Use her for leverage, skip out with his own deal afterward, and then bury the show about vampires straight into the ground. Really, who could stand to watch stuff like that? He was betting anything that they thought the entire thing was amusing. Vampires were bad. Had everyone forgotten how the Dracula movies went down? Dracula might have been cool and smooth, but the fucker was a stone cold killer! A crazy one, at that!

Ed winced the second her hold on his arm tightened. His point, he found, was made right then and there. This vampire might have looked all cute and cuddly on the outside, but on the inside she was just as menacing as anything else that they made horror movies about.

"Hey - ow! Lemme go, creature of the night!" He tried to wrench his arm away from her, looking entirely displeased. She was so rude.

"How do I know you're not lying to me? You could walk off right now and never have to talk to me again. I'm not an idiot." No siree. He was Ed Zeddmore. Team leader and all around genius. At being awesome. At the very least, she seemed to be agreeing about the evil spirits concept. Maybe he'd be able to use that to his advantage. "If you don't let me on your show, these people will never know how terrible ghosts really are. You think their leniency based on letting a vampire have some airtime is unusual? Wait until they meet Casper. You're gonna be bumped aside for the next 'friendly' ghost the second they get their spotlight thrusting hands all over a good haunting. Which is why, Harmony, you need me. No one'll ever want to be pals with a ghost if I get the truth out there. Unless you did want to be pushed aside and forgotten? 'Cause that'll happen without the real ghost stories being exposed to the public, you know."

Creature of the night

Who said that anymore. Who was this idiot? She didn't let him pull his arm away, not yet but the pressure did relax a bit as he talked about the ghosts. About this idea of good ghosts. Sge;d heard rumours about the Hyperion having a Ghost now. A nice one. That was the kind of thing she didn't need. Next they'd have friendly werewolves or a demon with a heart of gold or something equally lame. No he had a point, She was the supernatural sweetheart of LA. And thats how she intended to remain for quite a while.

"Good pont. But I don't need you. You need me. If I don't let you on my show. You wallow with no way to ever make it famous. Cause I know people. I can have you cut off from every major production company and network that LA has to offer. I can cut you off from Hollywood like that.

She squeezed his shoulder again emphaticly before deciding to let go, people might stare.

"Also I'm totally strong and could kill you."

Friendly Ghosts did worry her, also were creepy.

"We can help each other. But if you try and screw with me? I just want you to remember which one of us has a soul and which one doesn't. And also. My Boyfriend would kick your ass so bad it wouldn't even be funny"

Dammit, she had a boyfriend! Wait. No. He didn't want to do the crazy ass vampire. Still, it was almost a letdown to the Ed that had been looking to hit on her ten minutes before. He raised a hand to rub at his shoulder as soon as she released it, knowing that it kind of made him look like a wuss but, in his defense, that had been one hell of a grip. Ow.

She was making with the threats. That was fine. Ed could too, if he really wanted to. He could threaten to spike her drinks with holy water and he could hammer her coffin shut and everything while she was asleep. Very, very intimidating levels of defense right there. This vampire lady didn't stand a chance against him. And she certainly wouldn't once he was the more famous of the duo standing within this very lobby. Oh, yes. There was a new wind blowing in the air. Soon enough, things were gonna change around here. This city sucked, but if he could gain some publicity and show up those stupid Winchester douchebags in the process, then Ed would be one to settle in happily. No complaints whatseover and everything.

"Fine. Deal. Tell your people to call my people. We'll do lunch." He reached into his pocket and yanked out a pen. Paper? Did they have paper? Damn, he didn't have paper. "Or...I'll tell my people to call your people. Here." He went for his phone instead and flipped it open, directing it to the contacts list and handed it to her. She could add in her number and he'd call her back as soon as possible. Tomorrow. And no, it certainly wouldn't be tomorrow morning. He had to pace himself. Keep from looking to desperate and all. "Number. And I want the real one, too, not some fake."

She'd let him have his five minutes of fame, cause she was nice like that. It would be good for karma or something. He could come on her show, rabbit on about ghosts, maybe he might even know something about getting rid of the creepy gross things. Either way. She was hot and he was, well...geeky and lame. And in dire, dire need of a makeover.

But she knew, he didn't have people.

"This is my producers number, You're not getting mine. How do I know you wouldn't sell it to some magazine?" she typed in the number "He'll tell you what you need to do, what kind of stuff to talk about, me I'm just the very very pretty face of vampirism." Even if she did have to occasionally deal with idiots like this who assumed they knew sooo much better than her. Also she liked the threats occasionally, never underestimate what you could do with a pretty face, a set of fangs and some good old fashioned threatening. She was Harmony Kendall.

"You should watch the movie" she said handing the phone back. "I heard its pretty kickass and I'll be talking about it too, maybe before the ghosts."

Fine. No direct number. Whatever. Like he cared if it was the pretty blonde vampire that he talked to about getting famous. He'd make nice with her people, get a spot on her show, and work at the whole becoming famous thing. Piece. Of. Cake. Taking the phone back from her, he dropped it back into his pocket and rolled his eyes.

"You think I should watch this piece of work? Really? Look, I might be all into the realm of weird with my ghost hunting and all, but even I wouldn't come near the devil wearing any name brand title. I have better things to do with my time than sit around watching Anne Hathaway make an idiot of herself by shopping and selling her soul or whatever it is that she's gonna do in this complete and total chick-flick." If he wanted to watch a movie, he'd go check out Star Wars or something else that was as equally awesome. This? With the shopping and the Prada? No. A definite no. It was more for Maggie, and that was only if she was hanging out with her chick friends. On a personal level, it really wasn't something she'd be going out of her way to check out either. But that was only because Ed had taken her under his wing and taught her right and proper about the ways of fandom.

"You enjoy your movie, Harmony Kendall," Ed stated, flashing a confident smile. "I'll be in touch."

Harmony made a show of smiling all too sweetly for the cameras. Americas undead sweetheart and all that. She had appearances to keep up. So she wasn't exactly gonna do anything like kill him. That wouldn't be good for her profile. So she leaned in all nice before she finally got to go in to the movie.

"You do that. And once again. Vampire. With badass boyfriend vampire. Who's British."

Her PA came over looking worried, the paparazzi were looking across still looking for a story. They could entirely get screwed. Entirely. No story for them. She took the blood from her PA who had been awesome and put a little umbrella in, and crushed ice like she'd asked for. It was like a smoothie. This said, and deal made with the Ghostbuster, Harmony swanned her way back across the foyer toward the screening with a shake of her hand back at the guy. He played a good game. But she could kill him if he got too full of it. Or y'know. Would if the Slayers weren't all scary about it. And she suspected Spike would glare. And even though he was way hot when he glared that probably wasn't a good thing.

But right now she'd think about the movie. And the Prada. Prada was good.