It was too painful. However, considering that Spike wasn't very big on admitting to something being too painful, he toyed around with his empty glass and said, "We were closing the Sunnydale Hellmouth. It was a war, you see, and we were outnumbered - really outnumbered. Looked to be over a million vampires running around and attacking all the girls that were with us. But there was this amulet that I was wearing." God, how he hated that thing now. "It was supposedly meant to be worn by a 'champion'." He laughed at that. Spike. A champion. Who'd have thought? "Buffy thought I was perfect for the role. Anyway, the world was ending, right?" He looked over at her all serious. "People were dying. It was getting insane. And then the amulet around my neck starts burning the hell out of me, light starts flying about everywhere, and...well, I don't do so well with light. So while the vampires were being dusted and the Hellmouth was caving in, everyone took off running. All except her. She stayed behind, told me that she loved me, and I reckon she would've stayed bloody well put through it all if I hadn't told her to leave. So she did. And I stayed behind to finish it all. And then I died." Again.
He stood from his stool. "So there it is. Any other questions or can we leave already?"