Who: Jacen Solo and Tenel Ka Djo What: Tenel Ka gets a burst of Clarity...is this a good thing. Where: Jacen's room at the Hyperion When: At the same time as Alema's log Rating: R Status: Complete - Log
Tenel Ka lay down to rest, to try and sleep. Again. Heartsick and tired of arguement and recrimination, She was still annoyed, yes she defended Jacen, of course she did. He was the love of her life, the father of her child. He had saved her life more times than she dared count and she had lost him three times now, to what she believed was death when he had flashed up so bright and shining in the force after Myrkr and faded so completely right after, then when she HAD lost him to the blade of his twin sister, when she had felt him die in the Force, she remembered it well, she hadn't had time to react to it, she had just gotten Allana off the Dragon Queen and once safely in her shuttle she had collapsed against the wall in tears her courtiers had mistaken for shock over the attack.
She had never been allowed to grieve him. Not Darth Caedus, not even Jacen Solo. He had been so hated by the end. But she grieved the man he had been, a private grief that had never quite left her. And then here...she had lost him here too, he had vanished but returned to her again. It had all left her tired, but content. But Luke of all people, the eventual Grandmaster of the Order was allowing that...insect to goad Jacen, push him. How long could he stand it. Was another fall inevitible if it continued.
She closed her eyes drifting off into an uneasy sleep.
She didn't feel the change coming, the tendrils of a slippery Twi'lek Force Presence finding her mind...magics she didn't understand twisting her perceptions, her feelings, trading light for dark.
Her first thought when she awoke was that Jacen needed her. That she was being weak, and foolish, an insult to her daughter, her parents and to her throne. She would do what she should have done above Kashyyk and stand by the side of the man she loved. Her Lord.
The words didn't feel funny to Tenel Ka as she slipped from her room, having dressed quickly in garments similar enough to those she had worn the night he had snuck into her room, that same night she told him she had no patience for Voyeurs, so now she decided with a smirk, to see how he liked it and sneaked silently across the corridor using the Force to open the locks. Jacen was sleeping. She waited in the dark wondering how long it would be before he noticed her.
Jacen woke abruptly, needing a moment to work out quite what had forced him from his sleep. He felt her presence moments before his eyes adjusted to the dark and he saw her standing there.
"Tenel Ka?" He questioned, his voice roughened from sleep as he tried to figure out what she was doing there. He sat up slightly, the sheet falling down as he frowned in concern.
"Is something the matter? Is there an attack?"
There was something off about her, the way she stood in the shadows and dressed like that. Almost unwillingly his mind flashed back to the last time he'd seen her dressed in such a fashion and a slight heat rose across his face.
He was worried, for her, for the people in the hotel, of course he was, it was so like him, he saw them maybe as worthy of his protection and so the concern showed.
Leaving any questions or worries for now, she moved toward the bed slowly knowing he wouldn't want to be deprived of the view and finally perched herself on the covers eyes never having left his once they had adjusted to the dark.
"Sssh"
Her hand traced his face as she drew him toward her for a kiss.
"...You needed me Jacen and I was too afraid." she finally answered, wasting little time with preamble or hiding her intent as her hand moved down from his cheek and along his chest before sliding under the sheets. "So concerned with the what and not the why, I and Hapes should have been by your side and instead..."
Jacen blinked. Opened his mouth to say something, before he changed his mind and blinked again. The kiss and the feel of her hand stunned him, as did her words in a different way.
"Kriff, Tenel Ka..." he inhaled sharply.
"You made your choice that day. And I have never known you to question your choices, your Majesty."
Something was wrong, wrong with her and this whole situation. But all Jacen could think about was how good she looked.
He was confused, she thought with a slight smile as she broke the kiss just for a moment, that was alright. She wondered how he'd put up with her, her constant questions about his vision, what had to be done, she'd been such a hypocrite.
"Queens of Hapes have been known to be wrong, as well you know"
Her hand slid under his boxers its target, working quickly and expertly because Tenel Ka knew this man better anyone, she knew precicely how to make him happy. She manuvered herself closer to him, leaning down her breath at his ear.
"I never stopped loving you. Not for a second. I want you to know that"
Kisses trailed along his neck
"Never thought I'd live long enough to see you admit you could be wrong."
Any further sarcastic quip was lost as she moved her hand more and Jacen lost the ability to think clearly. Force, he had missed this, missed her. Later he was sure he might feel embarrassed at how quickly he became hard, but right now all he could think about was how good she felt.
"I never stopped loving you too," he murmured, before tugging her down for a searing kiss, any thoughts about how wrong this should feel escaping his mind.
"And to anyone else I wouldn't admit to being wrong. But you knew didn't you...you knew what had to be done for the Galaxy and I should have been there for you. Should have trusted..."
She had missed him, missed this, she let him pull her back down to him, not stopping the movement of her hand, the kiss as ever was almost electric between them,
She didn't say anymore, she didn't think she needed to as the kiss intensified, deepened as she worked her hand slightly faster.
They were words he'd been wanting to hear since Kashyyyk. Her agreeing with him, admitting he'd known what he was doing. He groaned as she sped her hand up before he reached for her wrist to get her to stop, not wanting this to be over too soon.
He rolled them both over until he was on top, kissing down the side of her neck as his hands slid up under her clothes. How long had it been since they had last done this? He struggled for a moment to remember before deciding it had just been too long.
"You're still so beautiful," he murmured kissing across her shoulder, back up her neck before finally reaching her lips again.
She did stop, as soon as his hand found her wrist. Because she would do whatever it took to see him happy. Fulfilled, he wanted this to last, wanted to make the most of it, was he worried it wouldn't happen again? She worried he would think she was reacting to everything that had happened, or loosing his younger self. He had not seen, or done what he had. And she had so much to make up for. Soon after he was on top. He did like that in that last year, she supposed he always had.
And his hands were on her, all over her.
She had missed his touch
"And you are still the only man I have ever wanted, only one I ever loved"
As he found her lips again, Tenel Ka slid her arm around him pulling him that bit closer to her.
Because this, them together, That was what was right.
There was still a part of Jacen convinced this was a dream. A great dream, but still with that faintly surreal aspect that stopped him quite believing it. He could hear her saying all the words he'd so longed to hear, could taste her kiss, smell the scent of her hair, strangely unchanged despite this new world they were in. But still, it felt unreal.
But even if this was a dream, he wasn't going to fight it. Who knew if he'd get the chance to dream it again?
"I missed you, so much."
He tugged her up slightly, so he could pull her clothes off, needing to feel the heat of her skin.
She helped, or as much as she could with one hand, it of course didn't take long she hadn't been wearing that much to begin with, Jacen meanwhile was telling her he had missed her and Tenel Ka hated herself for making him feel that.
"I know" she replied softly, voice laced with self reproach as she kissed along his chest and neck. "I know and I am truly sorry for making you feel that. I didn't see, couldn't see that that was how things had to be, that everything you forsaw was how it had to be. You didn't want any of it did you...and you thought I would always be there....I wasn't and for that I only hope you can one day forgive me"
She raised her head to met his mouth for another deeper kiss, this one filled with every emotion swirling in her mind but most of all, overwhelmingly almost with love.
The tone of her voice seemed... off. Something strange was there, but Jacen found himself overwhelmed by the kiss and he forced any doubts aside.
Besides, he couldn't seem to think much beyond the fact that she was finally naked, in his bed, and that just felt like the most right thing in any world.
As he kissed her back, with a fierce intensity, he finally slid inside her, groaning at just how good she felt.
"Is something.."
She had been about to ask if something was wrong, if she was doing or saying something to offend him, she didn't think she hd been, Of course before she could ask anything at all, words failed her
Force it had been too long, far too long. He wanted her as much as ever he had, she could tell that, she could see it in his eyes, but she decided then and there that was not all she wanted to see in the eyes of her lover.
Because he was hiding a part of what he was, he wasn't letting go, and she wanted him to.
They built in rythem as he thrust inside her and Tenel Ka finally spoke.
"You saved me, saved my throne, guided me, loved me...I know you. I love...you. With all that means" she whispered, "So...show me...all of you, all you are..."
Grey eyes met dark and her breath caught even as she spoke again
"...Caedus"
She felt just so kriffing good and Jacen started to lose himself in her, the way he had always used to, when he needed to forget about the pressures of the galaxy.
And then that name. She called him that name and just for a moment he stopped, his heart racing as he stared at her, shock running through him.
"What?"
She was already so close, he had been the only man who had ever been able to make her feel as she felt right now, so when he stopped, gazed down at her in confusion. It hurt.
"I'm not afraid of him, of you. And its hard isn't it, locking a whole part of yourself away. But here...with me, you don't have to hide him. ...Did I do something wrong?"
She arched up to kiss him, slightly impatient that he'd stopped but more worried about why he wasn't happy with her, she'd thought he would be.
There was a part of him that really wanted to protest. He was actively trying to not be Caedus here, there was no need, he'd promised Peter, he'd thought it was what she'd wanted.
But still there was a part of him so tired of it all, just wanting to let himself be who he who he was, whoever that was.
And the way she pressed her body up against him made him forget about his concerns as he thrust back into her before he kissed her again, pouring all his love and desire into the kiss.
Tenel Ka would not, could not, force him to be something other than what he was, and Caedus was a part of that, The Sith was a part of it much as he tried to hide it from her. And she didn't hate it, didn't fear it.
So she would let him be whoever he wanted.
She moved underneath him in time with each thrust, her hand running along his back, utilising little tricks she knew he liked.
"I love you" she breathed in midst of a scream she mufled in his shoulder. No sense disturbing the peace after all, it was a hotel, with families, that and her best friend was in a nearby room and would probobly want to interrupt and yell.
She knew, she still knew, how to drive him completely crazy. The combination of her touch and her scream helped push him over the edge and he had to bury his face in her hair to muffle his own shout.
"I love you too," he had to catch his breath as he looked at her, still inside her for a moment before kissing her again.
Once she had regained her breath and some semblance of focus, the kiss had helped her focus,
"I missed this..just this, with you...and think of it, Free from the GA, from Hapes...But for Allana being at home, it would be perfect"
She trailed her fingers along his chest, just content. Because he could make this place perfect, like he had done at home, he could make everything better for the people they cared about, but this time she would be with him,
She didn't say it yet. He'd gone and buried Caedus so very deeply. For her. She would have to coax him back, slowly. And then things would start to change.
Jacen's heart raced still as he lay down beside her, tugging her close. There was still this nagging feeling in the back of his mind that something was wrong, even if he couldn't place what it was. Something that just felt off.
Still, the way she talked, of being free. Free from the obligations of being a leader. Free to do... whatever he wanted.
It was such a tempting thought.
She was such a tempting woman.
He pressed a kiss against the top of her head as his mind began to drift off sleepily.
And for now she let him, drift off in her company, drift off knowing he wouldn't sleep long, they had a lot of lost time to make up for, for now she was content, in his arms, content that he was happy. Because of course that was when she was happiest herself.
She smiled lazily thinking of the things they would do together, the things they could do now that she was finally, finally ready to stand with him like she should have done before. And they would make the city better for it.