Ben focused, he needed to be good needed to be convincing, to either sneak away or get a shot to push her off,
God this was Buffy, he had thought sometimes in Sunnydale he might have been falling in love with her. And now he was planning to kill her and her sister, he remembered meeting her first.
"I...I was there remember, during your mothers last months, and when you called me, thinking I was just a nurse and a friend and asked me to help Giles, I came, no questions. Giles that killed me. Do you think there's a heaven Buffy, cause I don't...Not for me...thats not where...you'll send me if you do this"
He was physically shaking, "I haven't done anything wrong, its not my fault, none of its my fault"