Who: Ryan Anderson [open] When: Afternoon Where: Library What: Doing research Rating: R Status: Incomplete
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Ryan was sitting alone at a table on the first floor of the library. He was wearing his baseball cap he had bought recently. He didn't really care for it. But he had to wear it, lest he get stares and laughs, and thus attract attention by making them die. His skin had become better now, though he sometimes felt himself at night, as if expecting to still have the hot wax on him, then sighing with relief when he realized he was overreacting. His nails seemed fine after the surgery. But there was still that lingering feeling, that soreness that could be occasionally and briefly felt on his fingers if he held something for too long.
Several books rested on the table. One was a huge reference work titled Court Orders and How To Get Them, opened up to a passage detailing the process of procuring a legal restraining order. The other books were mostly about therapy and child abuse, and social psychology as well, though one text was written about torture methods used in wartime. There was also a magazine opened to an article about a case in which a teacher had been in an adult relationship with an underage student. Those few people who occasionally passed by his table looked at him curiously for a moment, glancing oddly at his book titles, then just walked away. He knew they were probably whispering to themselves as well.
The reasons for reading the therapy subjects was not exactly what most normal people would think. He did not hate the woman for what took place at the Days Inn. He knew that he should feel emotions of vengeance toward her, but he didn't really feel anything (other than the fact that being anywhere near those boys was a terrible idea). Just like he knew he should have felt guilt or pleasure when tormenting Arthur and terrifying Joe. But he was mostly blank. He didn't go after them again, not because he was afraid, but because he knew it would result in worse torment or death in the future.
Partially, he was reading to understand why people did such violent acts. But mostly? He wanted to know how he was supposed to feel, and thus be able to act like he felt that way on the outside. He looked down at the pages he was reading. He was starting to understand the subject a bit better. Glancing up at the clock, he noticed the time. "Hmm.. better go soon." He pulled his library card out of the backpack which lay at his feet, then set it on on the table. He knew he would not be able to read all four of those books and remember it all in one setting. He'd have to check them out and take them home, so he could read them over the next few days...