Caitlin Snow/Killer Frost (frostandsnow) wrote in parabolical, @ 2009-12-21 20:23:00 |
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The torture had begun when she wouldn't join in. When she wouldn't kill the priest they'd asked her too. That was when Lilith had started with the holy water. It didn't affect her. She was beyond it. They'd told her they were gonna hurt her until she begged for her life. They hadn't told her what happened when she begged yet.
So she took it, everything they wanted to do to her and kept her mind focused elsewhere, she was thinking about happier times, very much fixating on that, And not on Castiel because he’d know then. He’d know and he’d come for her and they’d just vanish and go and find Sam and all this would have been for nothing. But she missed him, with every drop of holy water, everything they did to her she missed the love of her life and she held to that. Not to him but to that feeling. Time passed, more than bothered to count through the pain and still she held to her love. His belief in her.
“You can still take it can’t you!” said Lilith happily replacing the cap on some holy water. “It always amused me even when you were loyal. You’re good at this. You used to even like it didn’t you, something to pass the time downstairs.”
“Course she did, like her always do, why I picked her remember, capacity for lies and deceit and all but just so easy to build up. But then, you know what they say about what ya build up don’t you Ruby?”
They were cutting again, back to that, back to the hurt. And as soon as they were tangible enough they’d warded it making it impossible for Cas to find her. Azazel had taken particular pleasure about defiling a house of god, even appearing dressed like a priest. He really did enjoy the whole business. She’d once had probably laughed too, sometimes still did when she thought about him, about both of them.
“You told me Sam would come out of it better. You told me Lucifer would reward him”
She got a slap for that from Lilith, having been told not to use the name of the father she’d so betrayed and disappointed but it didn’t stop her, because she had to ask it, even if it wasn’t them, even if it wasn’t really them.
“What was the truth?”
Azazel laughed but left it to Lilith to answer.
“...Sammy was supposed to be his...obviously. Demon blood, even if it was mostly yours, he could take it, sustain it. He was a hunter, he was strong and powerful but then you know that. He was going to be his vessel dear. Didn’t you realize...were you that painfully naive. Oh Ruby”
So Jacen hadn’t been wrong, but it was so much worse than even he’d shown her. He wouldn’t have been Sam at all after a while. Locked away like anyone she’d ever possessed but so much worse. He’d never find it out from her. Not ever.
“ I’m glad they stopped me. If I have to be hated so he never gives himself over like that then I’ll learn to be okay with it. You never told me any of that part. You never told me it’d destroy him”
Lilith laughed again light and eerily friendly. “Oh No, You had to care. You had to believe so he would believe. And you were oh so faithful until you switched to another angel. Lesser. “
Azazel joined in going for the holy water again, tracing patterns along her stomach.
But thats you all over isn’t it, Have to believe in something. Sammy, your Angel, whatever it is. You have to be a follower. I remember when you followed me. You remember Ruby, begging for a compliment, for some sign I was pleased with you.”
“I remember” she muttered coldly.
The flash of anger in her eyes at the insinuation quickly left them again, she wasn’t thinking about Castiel. She wasn’t. She wouldn’t. He’d end this and then they’d find a way to get to Sam, hurt him like they were hurting her, and he couldn’t take it. She wouldn’t make him. Not to mention all the blood. Amazing as he’d been with Eve, this was her, this was her blood and it was quickly spreading everywhere. Pools of it, but they hadn’t gotten serious yet.
They were taking their time. They’d talked about days.
“Pathetic” said Azazel leaning in to her grabbing her hair and pulling her up to eye level. Her eyes had long since gone black and stayed that way. Torture would do that to a demon. “Just give it up Ruby. All this...redeeming, pretending to be something you’re not. Just give it up and all this can stop. Remember how quick you gave it up on the rack? Can we get back to that?. Maybe you can even make up for all this. Maybe you have a chance. Because he doesn't care. He doesn't. He probably hasn't even noticed you're gone. Or what you're doing for him. He doesn't care and you're still taking all this, for him. You're disgusting... But all the same. You're still the best I had down there. So I'm willing to accept your usual brand of snivilling grovelling apology at my feet. All you gotta do is give it up”
She shook her head, turns out she still didn’t like saying no to him, it still felt wrong. But she couldn’t go back. She had too much to fight for even without what the powers would do to her. Castiel believed she could be better than she was. He believed she could change. He loved her.
The water got worse, smoke rising from her skin but still she didn’t scream. She wouldn’t give them that. Keep them focused on her. Just on her.