InsaneJournal

Characters: Ron Weasley
Setting: Aurors Division DMLE, Ministry of Magic, 10 November 2003, 10:30am
Rating: General Public
Summary: Ron finds an unwanted surprise at his desk.

Though he'd been up to the Ministry a few times to train, Ron had not technically been back to work yet since Harry had died. He knew better than to go in on any true 'official' capacity besides just doing some paperwork here and there because he just wasn't right and they could tell, which might account for why he was getting all the paperwork to begin with. And why they didn't say much to him when he did it at home instead of coming to the office most of the time. It's not like he needed to be seated in a specific place to do paperwork. Needless to say, his desk had been a bit unattended for a while, which was apparently not a good thing. It didn't take long for him to figure out that things were not right in his area of the Auror department. His desk was never considered neat, but he still knew where to find everything so he knew when there were things there that shouldn't be and the book that was sitting in the middle of the desk with the display of bold letters Wizard Sex for Beginners was certainly not his and definitely not something he'd have at work either. "What the bloody-" he began but quickly shut up because he didn't want to draw attention to himself. His first thought was that he was dreaming this all up - that it was a terrible, terrible nightmare but he already knew he wasn't dreaming. He sat down quickly as to make it look like he was working, but this proved to be a stupid mistake on his part as there was something in his chair, of all bloody things. "Eurgh!" Ron screamed and jumped up out of his chair when he felt vibrations under his bum. "You have got to be bloody-" he was already beet red at this point and his fellows sat in nearby desks were looking at him oddly. "Er, sorry. It's nothing," he tried to say, but it was difficult to rip open your chair without people hearing. He pulled out the object in question, which began vibrating again in his hand and he dropped it immediately, sealing the tear on his chair and sitting down once more. Now he saw the picture of the woman, a bookish short that he didn't even know who began licking her lips and Merlin's beard she was getting undressed on his sodding desk! People could see this shite! He put the picture face down on top of the book. He needed to get rid of this lot but what was he supposed to do with it? He decided he might as well just throw it in his drawer for now until he calmed down and thought of something else, so he pulled the drawer open so he could toss the book and picture and vibrator into it but something gigantic came bursting out in his face. "Holy shite!" Ron screamed and jumped back, successfully knocking himself back out of his chair and onto the floor as a life-sized woman grew before his eyes from his very desk drawer. "You have got to be kidding me! What the bloody fuck!" He gave up on discretion at this point because it's not like everyone couldn't see all this. He was already doomed to embarrassment until the end of time. He sat there for a few seconds, just blinking at this fake woman standing in front of him with a slight "o" for a mouth and he groaned. He knew where this had come from - George's shoppe. He picked up his wand and cast reducto instantly on the stupid thing, getting angrier by the second now that he saw the damned doll. Would George really have gone through all this trouble just to humiliate him at work? And why the bloody hell would he? He would certainly have a few words for his older brother when he could gain some composure. For now he had dispose of the rest of this shite and probably never be able to show his face at work again. This day was already starting out to be absolutely terrible.