Pretty much set right after this fic, but much less smutty...like no smut at all, despite my best intentions. Ah, well. I am referring to this as an exercise, because I don't know what the hell I'm doing with these two. XD
Dedicated to na_no_nai/audra_sama; written in response to her prompt. Cuz this pairing? Not one I'd thought of before XD
Unbetaed, so expect periodic edits. About 3800 words or so.
Anko grinned as she made her way home. She didn’t actually have patrol tonight, but she thought Kakashi and Shizune could use some time alone. Seriously, though, if she hadn’t stepped in, who knows when they would have gotten their shit together?
Those two had been circling each other for months, but between Shizune’s reserve and Kakashi’s…general interpersonal fucked-uped-ness, Anko was sure that they’d have either never gotten around to having sex, or snapped and jumped each other in the middle of a mission briefing.
She snickered. But man, Shizune had a set of lungs on her. Anko knew Kakashi was good in bed, but that girl had screamed like she was in the middle of an interrogation session. She’d needed it, though, so Anko probably wouldn’t even tease her about it.
Well, not too much, anyway.
As she passed the academy, she noticed the light was on in one of the classrooms. She snorted. Probably Iruka. Anko was always vaguely surprised by the fact that the man didn’t bother her more than he did. All that earnestness and boyish charm would have been annoying in anyone else, but somehow he managed to stay on her good side. She thought about stopping in to see him, then shrugged and kept going home.
Over the next week or so, Anko kept seeing his classroom light on whenever she was on her way home late. Once or twice made sense, but what the hell was he doing in there? He just had the little kids, it’s not like he should have had that much to grade.
She finally gave in to her impulse and went inside. Walking down the familiar halls, she arrived at his classroom and slid the door open sharply.
“Yo, Iruka!” she grinned.
Iruka looked up from his desk in surprise, surrounded by stacks of papers. “Anko-san.”
“Man, what are you doing here so late?” She hopped on his desk, pushing aside some papers to make room.
“Ah, well, Ishida-san has been out, so we’ve all got to help cover his classes,” Iruka said, saving a stack of tests from scattering all over the floor.
Anko frowned. “Oh yeah, he’s got that hole in his gut.”
“So what brings you here, Anko-san?”
“I was just wondering what the hell you were doing. I keep seeing your light on my way home.”
“Well, I appreciate the visit,” he told her.
Anko looked at him closely. His smile was genuine, but brittle, and she'd bet he wasn’t sleeping enough. Probably had taken the bulk of Ishida’s work on by himself.
“Come on,” she said, hopping off his desk.
“You need more of a break than this.” She hauled him to his feet.
“But I really need to finish this!” he sputtered.
“Finish it later,” she said, dragging him out of the room. “Let’s go.”
“Yo, Yume! My usual and something strong for this one!” Anko called, sliding into a stool at the bar.
The bartender, a tall, sloe-eyed woman, gave Anko a lazy smile. “You got it,” she said, flipping a long black braid over her shoulder.
Iruka looked around the place. It was a sure bet he’d never been in here before, but he didn’t look too uncomfortable. Maybe he was just too tired to care.
“You look like shit, you know,” Anko said as their drinks arrived, a beer for Anko and something colorful for Iruka.
Iruka gave her a rueful look. “Thank you, Anko-san.”
“You sure know how to talk to a guy, Anko,” Yume said, her dark eyes dancing as she turned to serve the next customer.
“Hey, if it's the truth...” She watched him from the corner of her eye as he sipped at his drink. Yume made them pretty strong, and all the sugar helped to disguise the taste of the alcohol.
“Well, as I said, it’s been a difficult week,” Iruka said. “Isn’t this the night you usually go out with Shizune-san?”
Anko let him change the subject, always happy to gossip. “Yeah, but she’s probably with Kakashi.” She leered for emphasis.
“With Kakashi-san? You mean, ah, with him?”
“Haaaah,” Iruka said, blinking. He took another drink, and began to smile. “Actually, the more I think about it, the more sense it makes.”
Anko whooped and smacked him on the shoulder. “I know, right? They should pay me for getting them together.”
Iruka didn’t even blink at her rough handling. “Is that so? I wouldn’t see you as a matchmaker, Anko-san.”
“Ah, well, I just got sick of the two of them taking so long. Even if it doesn’t work out, Shizune really needed to get laid. She's always stressed out, running after Hokage-sama.”
“Shizune-san is a very capable assistant,” Iruka said, ever the diplomat. He looked at his glass as if surprised his drink was gone.
Anko signaled for another round.
“Yo, you need to look into how Ishida’s class load is being distributed.”
Shizune looked up from the scroll she was reading to see Anko leaning next to the door, arms crossed over her chest. “Anko?”
“I’m just saying,” she shrugged.
Shizune searched her memory. “Ishida…Seiji?”
“Yeah,” Anko replied, cleaning her nails with a kunai.
“Any particular reason why?”
Shizune sighed. “You’re not going to tell me, are you?”
Anko grinned, putting the knife away. “Nope.”
“Fine, I’ll look into it,” Shizune said.
“We still on for this week?”
“Of course,” Shizune frowned, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “Why wouldn’t we be?”
“You missed last week.” Anko smirked. “But I guess I can’t blame you.”
Shizune turned bright red, looking down at her desk. “I’m sorry, Anko, I didn’t realize.”
“You'll make it up to me,” Anko said, pushing herself away from the wall. “I’ll catch you later.”
Shizune nodded. “I’ll do what I can.”
Anko waved as she walked out of the office, her coat slapping against her legs. Shizune rolled up the scroll she'd been reading with a frown. It was important, but now she was curious about Anko's request. She knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate until she'd looked into it.
Two days later, Anko made it a point to pass the academy after midnight. To her satisfaction, the building was completely dark. Shizune was kinda spastic, but when it came to getting shit done, she didn't fuck around.
The next day, Anko was sent on a mission. It was short, but ugly and brutal; she'd watched a kid get his neck snapped right in front of her eyes. She'd torn the guy's throat out a second later, but it didn't erase the surprised, confused look the kid had worn as he died.
She walked through the village gates exhausted and filthy; there was shit stuck in her mesh body glove that she didn't even want to think about. She went straight in to debrief without bothering to wash, something inside her reveling in making people uncomfortable as she walked by. Tsunade herself took her report and in her own brusque way of showing concern told her she stunk and to go get herself cleaned up. The sound Anko made as she left would have been a laugh had she not been so tired.
The market was on her way home, but she didn't feel like dealing with other people right now. She'd just catch something to eat later. Or maybe she wouldn't eat at all. She really didn't care at this point.
She turned her head, and Iruka was walking towards her with a sack full of groceries. "Yo."
"I'd heard you were on a mission."
"Just finished my report." She scratched her cheek.
His eyes were calm and level, noting her filthy state and tense stance. "I'm making corn stew tonight," he said. "Would you like some?"
Anko snorted and started walking again. "Once I get in my apartment, I'm not coming back out."
"If you don't mind me using your kitchen, I can make it there." He easily kept pace with her, shifting his bag in his arms. "After all, if it wasn't for you, I'd still be grading papers till the middle of the night."
She gave him a tired grin despite herself. "I'm not gonna argue with a free meal."
"Do you have a stew pot?"
"Why doesn't that surprise me? I'll go get mine, then."
"Does it take long to cook?"
"No, not too long. With preparation and cook time, it's an hour at the most."
"Fine." They reached an intersection and Anko turned towards her building. "I'm hopping in the shower, so I'll leave the door open."
"I'll see you soon, then."
Anko nodded, then trudged down the street to her place.
Iruka frowned as he left his apartment. It hadn't taken him long to gather what he needed and he walked as quickly as he could. The mission must have been bad to leave Anko so subdued; he'd rarely seen her like this.
He opened her door, half-expecting to have to dodge traps, even though he'd been invited in. The coast was clear, however, so he closed the door behind him and took off his shoes before making his way into her kitchen. The ingredients were laid on the table while the heavy pot went on the stove. He filled her rice cooker and turned it on so everything would finish at once. Washing the carrots and potatoes, he quickly chopped them and set them on her small counter.
As he finished slicing the meat into thin strips, he heard Anko enter the kitchen behind him.
"What are you making again?"
"Corn stew," he said, chopping a small onion and turning on the heat below the pot.
"You don't make it spicy, do you?"
"No, it's a sweet stew. I guess you could make it spicy, but I wasn't planning to." Iruka poured oil into the pot, then dropped the vegetables in once it was hot enough.
Anko grunted and leaned against the wall, watching him. Her hair was damp and hung around her face, and she wore a pair of shorts and an old, ragged t-shirt. There was a thin scar running along her forearm; it looked new.
Neither of them spoke as he added thin slices of pork and chicken to the pot, stirring to keep it all from sticking. Finally, he added water and concentrated stew mix, bringing it to a boil before taking it down to a simmer.
Anko still showed no sign of talking, so he began to speak of his students while busying himself gathering bowls and cleaning the counter and utensils he'd used. The talk served to fill the silence and didn't require much response from her beyond the occasional grunt or nod.
The food was done after about twenty minutes, and Iruka spooned it into bowls and handed them to her. She padded into her living room and plopped on the floor, shoving scrolls off the surface of her low table to make room for the food. Iruka followed with the rice, sinking to his seat more gracefully and watching her from the corner of his eye as she ate.
She didn't say anything, but after three bowls of stew he felt safe to assume she liked it. After the last bowl, she leaned back and belched, rubbing her stomach.
"Pretty good," she told him.
Iruka set his bowl down with a satisfied sigh, having gone back for a second helping. "I'll be sure to leave you whatever is left."
Anko stood and took their dishes to the kitchen. Iruka winced at the noise she made dropping them in the sink, surprised they didn't shatter. He heard the refrigerator open and close before she joined him again, this time with a twelve pack of beer.
"Here," she said, handing him one as she sat down again, setting the case within easy reach.
"Thank you." He stared at his beer for a few seconds before opening it. "Would you like to talk about it?"
"...not really." She tipped her head back, draining the can quickly before crushing it and reaching for another one.
Iruka drank his more slowly. He didn't really care for the brand, but he figured he could manage one or two.
Anko went through three beers while he nursed his first, tossing the last one across the room when she finished.
"I got the target," she said. "But he killed a kid first. Wasn't much older than one of yours."
Iruka set his beer down. "Oh, no."
"I just...fuck." She rested her elbows on the table and stared down.
Every ninja had been through bad missions, and there really wasn't much he could say that would make her feel better. He felt awkward, but all he could manage was a hand on her back. "Anko-san."
"You know, you can just call me Anko," she mumbled.
She looked up, tilting her head at him. Her hair was drying with a slight curl, and he firmly told himself it would not be at all appropriate to brush it back from her face.
"Huh," she said. "I've never seen you without that ponytail."
Iruka felt his eyes widen, and picked up his beer just to have something to do. To his chagrin, it was empty, and he spent longer than necessary getting another one out of the box.
"Ah, well," he said, "I don't normally have it down."
"That's what I'm saying," she grinned. With a sudden movement, she straddled him, knees pressed against his outer thighs.
Iruka jumped, setting his beer down so as not to spill it. "Anko-san!"
Her eyes narrowed. "What'd I just say?"
"A-Anko, then," he stammered. "What are you--this isn't--"
"Calm down," she chided. She reached behind him for his hair tie, resting her forearms on his shoulders. "I just wanna see."
Iruka felt himself getting red, and he caught his breath as her breasts brushed against him, the fresh scent of her recent shower momentarily overpowering the malty smell of the beer. Her hands were a bit clumsy, which didn't surprise him given how much she'd drank in the past forty-five minutes. But she finally got the tie undone and he felt his hair spill to his shoulders.
"Huh," she said. She sank to his lap, stretching her legs behind him. "Not bad," she grinned, tugging her fingers through from his scalp to the ends of his hair.
Iruka didn't respond. He was too busy trying to silence the voice in his head that insisted on telling him that her sleekly muscled thighs probably felt even better against bare skin, and that he really ought to check if that scar peeking out from the leg of her shorts ran all the way up her hip.
Closing his eyes, he flattened his palms on the floor as she snickered, twisting and reaching behind her for another beer.
Anko took a long swallow of her beer, enjoying the alarm on Iruka's face. It was obvious that he had no fucking clue what to do. She knew she was safe with him, and it was making her more of a bitch than usual; she could tease him as much as she wanted and nothing would come of it. Genma would have had her flat on her back by now; Kakashi would have provoked her into shoving him on his back. But Iruka would sit here, the perfect gentleman, until she made the first move.
And even if she did make the first move, it might not matter. He was the kind of guy to worry about taking advantage of a drunk woman, even a woman with Anko's rep.
"You should bother me more than you do," she told him. "You're all...good and shit. You're probably one of those people who actually fold your underwear."
His expression was an odd mix between amusement and utter panic. "Anko, maybe you should--"
She stopped listening to him as she drained the rest of her beer. Letting the can drop, she began to trace the scar across the bridge of his nose, her other hand resting on his shoulder.
"I...ahh..." Iruka froze. His face was suddenly painfully earnest, and she could no longer meet his eyes, instead staring at the wall behind him.
"Ah, fuck," she muttered. There was no reason for her chest to squeeze like that.
She felt his face move beneath her fingers and knew he was smiling. He reached up and took her hand, pressing a light kiss to her fingertips.
Now it was her turn to stare. His eyes were warm and dark, and his hair was soft beneath her fingers. There was no reason not to kiss him. No reason not to knock him to the floor, tear off all his clothes and fuck him till she reached the oblivion the alcohol had brought within reach.
But Anko took perverse pleasure in denying herself anything she wanted as badly as she wanted this. Between the alcohol, her exhaustion and her full belly, it was easy enough to let her eyes slide closed.
"Go to sleep, Anko," Iruka said, his voice a pleasant tingle against her chest.
"Are you leaving?" she mumbled, letting her head fall to his shoulder.
"If you'd like me to," he said, stroking her back. Anko snorted to herself. Didn't he know she wasn't any kind of fucking prize to handle so like that?
"Whatever," she said drowsily, shoving her nose into the side of his neck. "Do what you want."
She felt him him rock forward to his knees before rising to his feet. The last thing she remembered was wrapping her legs around his waist before falling asleep.
Anko woke to a faint headache, her body heavy and stiff. She rolled out of bed and went straight to the toilet, relieving herself and splashing water on her face. The sun streamed into the living room and she roughly pulled the curtains to diffuse some of the light. Stumbling to her kitchen for water, she was brought up short by the sight of breakfast laid out on her counter. It was cold, but throwing it in the microwave for a minute would fix that.
She ate standing at her tiny counter, periodically reaching over to the sink to fill her glass. He was a pretty good cook, between this and dinner. A girl could do worse. He'd even known better than to clean her living room, limiting himself to putting the beer back in the fridge and straightening the floor cushions. She'd have been pissed the next time she went to look for something and wasn't able to find it because he'd put it all away.
Her day was hers to do whatever she wanted, having just returned from a mission. She could go back to sleep, or hang out with Shizune or Kurenai, or go poke at Ibiki till he obliged her with a spar.
But apparently 'whatever she wanted' turned out to be hanging out on the roof above Iruka's classroom, listening to him give a blistering lecture to a group of students who'd been held back after class. She grinned when they stumbled out of the building, shame-faced.
She finally dropped from the roof and swung in the window. "Yo," she said, perching on the sill.
His back was to her, arms on his hips, still facing the door. He turned at her greeting, and the scowl he'd worn while chastising his students melted away. "Anko."
"Yeah..." She looked at him. He looked happy to see her, but was clearly unsure after last night. It was kinda cute.
"Ah," he cleared his throat. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah, it was alright." She rested her elbow on her knee.
"Good, good...I'm glad." He looked like he wanted to fidget.
Anko barked out a laugh and dropped to the floor. "Bet I'll sleep better tonight, though."
"Oh?" he asked, a bit puzzled as she walked towards him.
She stopped in front of him, wrapping her hand around the back of his neck and yanking his face down to hers. "Yeah," she purred.
"A-Anko-san!" he stammered, his eyes darting around. "This isn't really--"
She sucked his lower lip into her mouth, biting gently before letting it go. "If we're gonna do this, you're gonna have to get used to me groping you in public," she grinned.
"Ah--aa," he said, wide-eyed. He placed his hands on her hips as if afraid she would shake them off.
"Do it like you mean it, Umino." She raised an eyebrow. "Or else I'm gonna think you don't like me."
He looked blankly at her for another moment before tightening his hands and pulling her against him. "Right," he said, smiling down at her.
Anko leaned up and kissed him, arching against his hands with a pleased growl when his fingertips brushed the top of her ass. Well before she was satisfied, Iruka pulled back.
"Let me just put my things away and we can leave."
"C'mon, I've never done it in a classroom before," Anko said, pushing him back towards his desk.
Iruka gave her a look of mild horror. "I'd never be able to look at the children again. It'll just take a minute."
Anko glared at him, and he met her gaze without flinching.
She snorted, leaning a hip against the side of his desk. "Fine. Just hurry the hell up."
True to his word, it only took about a minute to lock everything away, and he looked up at her expectantly.
Iruka nodded, and motioned her ahead of him.
Anko stretched her arms over her head and started for the door. "You know what, I won't even make you fight for it this time."
"I--What?" He looked alarmed.
"Nothing, nothing," she grinned, tugging on his vest. "Let's get out of here."