InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Raspberry jam!"

Lydia Carson (quietriverrage) wrote in oldwest_rpg,
@ 2008-09-23 01:55:00

Entry tags:

joanna chandler, lydia carson

Who: Joanna Chandler and Lydia Carson
What: Um, some serious freaking out
When: Pretty much directly after this
Where: Their home
Status: Complete

After showing Theo where she had been living, so that he knew where to find her if for some reason he needed or wanted to see her, she'd left him wandering back towards town. She didn't know if Joanna had heard any of their very odd conversation, but if she was home, Lydia supposed that she would have. And now that he was gone, the actual weight of what was going on came full force. It felt like a weight, heavy in her chest and that need to run again was welling up in her stomach so bad she thought she might throw up.

There was something holding her back from just going into her room and packing up all of her things. She was frozen in place for a moment, just staring before she shuffled into her room. Though she didn't close the door behind her, she sat down on the bed, staring straight ahead as if she were in shock, which might have been the case.

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prettyheiress
2008-09-25 12:54 pm UTC (link)

Joanna had been reading, when she heard the woman enter. She had heard people talking, but she didn't listen. That would be impolite, so she was content just reading to herself, but when she heard Lydia come in, she thought she might talk to her. She'd caught a glimpse of her and she didn't seem happy.

She closed the book, and set it on the table, getting up and walking to their room. She stood in the doorway, looking at Lydia on her bed. "What's wrong?" She asked, not making small talk. She wanted to see what was upsetting her friend so much.

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quietriverrage
2008-09-25 01:22 pm UTC (link)

Glancing up at the sound of Joanna's voice, she kind of looked like maybe she'd forgotten Joanna was there, or she was surprised to see her. Really, she'd just been very distracted. "I.." she began, though she didn't know where to begin.

"He's here.." she whispered, glancing down at her hands. "Theo.. my Theo, he's here, in this town out of all places.." she shook her head a little bit in disbelief. It was obvious that she was more then a little scared of the whole thing, she was trembling from head to toe.

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	prettyheiress 2008-09-25 02:17 pm UTC (link)
	Joanna looked confused at first, to see Lydia like that. Her maid was far from a fragile woman, so to have something spook her like this, well...it was rare. "Theo?" Joanna questioned. She'd heard Lydia talk about him before. "Well, did he come here for you?" She asked the woman. Had Theo been looking for her all of this time? "Do...do you want to leave?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

quietriverrage
2008-09-25 02:30 pm UTC (link)

Slowly she shook her head, "No.. he was just.. here. He has family here. I don't know why I didn't make the connection. It's just a coincidence.. an accident.." Really Lydia hadn't sensed that he'd ever tried to look for her, but sometimes you just could never tell.

But for her next question, she just stared up at Joanna a bit helplessly, "I don't know. Yes and no. What do I tell him? Do I see him? I just.. it's so confusing and I just want to run away instead of... of telling him the truth."

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	prettyheiress 2008-09-26 06:44 pm UTC (link)
	Joanna noted that Lydia seemed to be pretty shaken up, and that worried her a lot. She moved over to the bed and sat next to her, putting an arm around her shoulder. "Breathe. That's the first step." The petite blonde told her companion. "Do you still...I mean do you want to be with him?" (Reply to this) (Parent)

quietriverrage
2008-09-26 07:04 pm UTC (link)

It was good that she was there, it made Lydia relax a little. Right, breathing. That was easier said then done. She let out a little breath and then inhaled sharply. After a couple of moments, she glanced over at Joanna.

"I.. think so? I shouldn't have left in the first place but I was so scared. I just told him I ran because I run.. that's true. I can't.. handle anything.. but I can't tell him."

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prettyheiress
2008-09-28 09:09 am UTC (link)

Joanna listened to her friend, nodding a little. She was worried, she couldn't help it. She didn't usually see Lydia like this. Lydia was a very strong woman in Joanna's eyes, but now she seemed so fragile.

She wrapped her arms around the woman, embracing her. "You can handle it." She assured her. "It's going to be alright, Lydia." She said. "I mean...why not invite him over some time? I'll be here too so it won't be awkward, and we can go from there?"

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quietriverrage
2008-09-28 12:23 pm UTC (link)

She'd been trying so hard not to cry this entire time but it seemed inevitable that she would. With her arms around her, Lydia started to cry a bit, leaning up against her. "Its not going to be all right, he's going to.." but she didn't know. Hate her? God she hoped not.

"Invite him over?" she breathed, shakily, and reached up to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "And sit down and tell him how he's supposed to have a child and he doesn't, because I'm an idiot.."

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prettyheiress
2008-09-28 12:40 pm UTC (link)

Joanna held her while she cried, it was weird to see her like this but Joanna was not about to abandon her. "He's not gonna hate you Lyddie." She told her quietly. "I don't think anyone could ever hate you. Shh Shh, it's alright." She felt almost mothering to the woman, in a way.

Joanna grabbed her handkerchief and handed it to Joanna for her tears. "You're not an idiot. It'll be alright..." She told her again. She didn't really know what to say, all she could do was be there and comfort her.

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quietriverrage
2008-09-28 12:51 pm UTC (link)

Taking Joanna's handkerchief, she gave a small smile of thanks and went to wipe her eyes. "Yeah.. thanks.. I'm sorry, I just.." thats just what she needed really, someone to tell her that things were going to be fine and that she didn't need to panic.

"I didn't expect to see him.. he was just there and then.. he asked me to dance. At that.. the fair's going on, people were dancing. It was just.. he told me he missed me.. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to keep running, I'm just scared."

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prettyheiress
2008-09-28 01:07 pm UTC (link)

Joanna nodded, listening to her. "It's alright, you have no reason to apologize. You're one of the strongest women I know, Lydia. It's gonna be okay. Just breathe." Joanna told her again.

She really couldn't imagine what Lydia was going through right now because she'd never been there herself, but she was worried. She couldn't help that. She stroked the other woman's hair gently, smiling soothingly at her.

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quietriverrage
2008-09-28 01:13 pm UTC (link)

Lydia didn't think she was strong at all. In fact she thought she was one of the more weaker people she knew. She took deep breaths and then let them out, finally calming herself to the point where she wasn't crying anymore. Carefully she sat up, and put her hands in her lap.

"Would you tell him? Do you think I should? You.. and my father are the only ones who knew what happened.."

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prettyheiress
2008-09-28 01:27 pm UTC (link)

Joanna just comforted her and sat there, as the older woman composed herself. Things would be fine, she was sure. They always had a sort of way of working themselves out. And she was certain this time would be no different. She scooted back a little as Lydia sat up.

"I think you should tell him." Joanna told her. "But really I mean, it's up to you." She knew it wouldn't be the easiest thing to tell someone.

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quietriverrage
2008-09-28 01:34 pm UTC (link)

Slowly she nodded her head. Because it wasn't like her miscarriage had been anything but the result of her own negligence and it certainly hadn't been just one of those things. "I guess I have to.. he deserves.. to know but.."

She glanced over at Joanna, "If it's bad.. if he tells me he hates me, or I don't know, something awful I don't think I can stay here. I'm not asking you to leave..if I went back to my father.. where your parents are, I would never ever tell them where you are."

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prettyheiress
2008-09-28 01:42 pm UTC (link)

He did deserve to know, but if Lydia wasn't ready to tell him, Joanna would not force her. She just wanted for her friend to be okay, and getting something like that off her chest might help a good deal, even if she didn't know it right now.

"I know you wouldn't." Joanna said. She didn't want Lydia to leave her here all alone though. Joanna didn't really know anyone here, and she if Lydia was gone she would be on her own. She might even go home to avoid that. "Hopefully it won't come to that." She offered the woman softly.

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quietriverrage
2008-09-28 01:46 pm UTC (link)

Lydia didn't want to leave either, and really she didn't want Joanna to be alone, that's why she came with her in the first place. Traveling alone wasn't good for a girl her age. She needed someone to look after her. Even though at the moment it was the other way around.

"I don't think it will either, I'm just.. trying not to panic. I'll give it a couple of days. And then.. invite him over. To tell him..." though there was that knot in her stomach that wasn't going to go away.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	prettyheiress 2008-09-28 01:53 pm UTC (link)
	Joanna nodded again, at least Lydia looked like she was done falling apart for the moment. That was something. They could work out everything else later. She hugged her friend once more, confident that things would be alright somehow. "That sounds like a good plan." Joanna said. "And I can be here, or I can leave if you'd like." It was really the other woman's choice. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	quietriverrage 2008-09-28 02:01 pm UTC (link)
	She gave Joanna a hug in return and nodded, "We'll.. see how brave I feel.. on the day.." she gave a weak little laugh. Now all she had to do was get up the courage to see him or to write him. Carefully she got up to her feet, "I'm going to.. go make dinner.. it might help calm me if I do something normal.. thank you Joanna.. for everything.." (Reply to this) (Parent)