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Lydia Carson ([info]quietriverrage) wrote in [info]oldwest_rpg,
@ 2008-09-12 00:28:00

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Entry tags:lydia carson, theo ellwood

Who: Theo Ellwood and Lydia Carson
Where: Founder's Day Festival
When: September 05, 1867
Status: Complete
Summary: A reunion. Of sorts. At the very least.


Though Lydia had told Joanna that there was absolutely no reason for her to go to the Festival, on an account of her just being a maid, Joanna had insisted that she go and enjoy herself at least for a little while. As a result, she'd spent most of the day going from place to place, enjoying the festivities as best as she could. Everyone seemed so cheerful, she couldn't help but be in slightly high spirits for most of the day, watching the horses and remembering Julian trying to get her to ride one.

However by the end of it all, she got more then a little turned around. Not that New Shelby was that big, but with everything all set out, well she'd forgotten where things were supposed to be, and thus, for the most part she was wandering around slightly aimlessly. Somehow she'd even managed to get herself on the dance floor for a moment or two, getting more then a bit turned around by the time she got to the other side.

And so there Lydia was, just on the outside of it all, trying to remember if there was something she'd forgotten to do. It seemed like there was.

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[info]londonaftrdark
2008-09-12 12:41 am UTC (link)
A festival wasn't necessarily Theo's "cup of tea." He wasn't like a child to get excited about it all, knowing that there would be games, candy, and whatever else that made them happy. But, he wasn't going to let himself sit inside and single himself out because he wasn't interested. That just seemed pathetic at the least. So, with that set in mind, he ripped himself from his bed and threw on a semi-clean shirt, buckled up his gun belt around his waist, and snatched up some smokes before shoving them into his pocket and taking a glance at the mirror and slipping out of the inn.

It was sunset, so the beauty of the sky caught his attention first. Then the noise and bustle of the people hauling themselves from one part of the festival to another dragged him to reality. He reached up and scratched aimlessly at his head, ruffling his hair in thought of where he should go first. Sure, the people skipping to and fro knew what they were doing and where they were going, but there was a noticeably raw air about it. Ah, yes.. The "Waldo's" of the crowds shuffled around the outside with quirked brows and blank plans.

Rubbing his eyes, he reached into his pocket and drew out a cigarette, lighting up after placing it between his lips. He then started to walk--where, he wasn't sure, but looking over at the dancing feet he was approaching it was obvious that this was the dance area. Or whatever it was that they called it. He crossed the floor, ignoring those covering the area, and exited the other side.

A long drag from the quirley and Theo sat himself on a single beam, where the cowboys and cowgirls tied up their horses while they went inside. From there, he didn't bother to really look around to see if he recognized anyone. After all, he had just woken up.

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[info]quietriverrage
2008-09-12 01:08 am UTC (link)
When she'd finally turned herself around, she had been counting on her fingers, like that was supposed to remind her of what she'd forgotten. The sun was in her eyes, so she squinted and put her hand up to her face, trying to see, or at least block out the sun enough so that she wouldn't walk into a wall. Something else she was liable to do if she wasn't careful. For a moment all she saw was an outline of someone sitting up there, but she didn't really see the person's face.

At least not until she walked a bit closer, figuring that maybe being in front of a wall would shade out the sun at least somewhat. To be honest, when she saw Theo's face, she did a bit of a double take, because there was no way on earth that could be him. Could it? So she took another glance back, and there he was, like he'd just appeared out of nowhere. Of course, it startled her more then a little bit.

"Jesus Mary and Joseph.." she jumped, quite nearly falling back (she'd blame the sun later if she had to) and then nearly fell over. Had she tripped over something? It was hard to tell. Mostly though she'd just had the bejesus scared out of her, and if that wasn't enough to make you fall over, she didn't know what was.

Had he seen her? Oh maybe he hadn't. What the hell was he doing here?? After righting herself up onto her feet, she looked around to see if she could find some place to hide. Yes there she was, 38 years old almost (in a couple of weeks wasn't it?) and about to go hide somewhere like a school girl.

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[info]londonaftrdark
2008-09-12 01:20 am UTC (link)
For a bit, Theo swayed, unable to find comfort on the damn beam--which was a first. Perhaps it was because he didn't have the energy to keep balanced while sitting down. Hell, that should never be the case. Of course, only when one is sitting on an actually chair rather than something that was made to tie up animals. But that was the grace of it all; to be able to sit your ass on almost whatever the hell you wanted without the worry of being damned for it. He took another long, almost unending drag, and with the cigarette near completed, he let it hang from his lips as the smoke seeped from them, a bit swirling from his nostrils like a bull ready to charge. Placing his hands on the beam on either side of him seemed to help, and finally he was able to become more alert. Maybe it was the tobacco.

The people continued to dance, frolic, chat, drink, eat, and what-have-you, but one person (or figure) in particular stood out among the rest. The figure wasn't far, and he couldn't see her face; she had been blocking it with her hand, then tore into the shadows, which still made it impossible to see. However he could tell that she was facing his direction with little movement. Whether or not she was staring at him was still a mystery, but he had that feeling. The one where you can just feel eyes on you even though you can't see them. So, he stared back, squinting his eyes to catch the shadow tumbling backwards a bit.

"No," he whispered, the sunlight catching the face of Lydia for a brief moment before she recollected herself. The cigarette fell from his lips and blew sideways onto his hand, burning his skin in an instant. "Ow, shit!" He flapped, sending the smoke to the ground and standing from the beam before looking straight back to where he saw her. His heart pounded. That just couldn't be her.

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[info]quietriverrage
2008-09-12 09:17 am UTC (link)
That answered the question of whether she'd been spotted or not. It wasn't like she could hide then, as much as she wanted to. Every part of her was in total flight or fight mode, except in this particular instance there wasn't anything too fight. Which meant that it seemed like any second now she was going to turn around and run, possibly literally as fast as she could. It always seemed to overwhelm her at the worst times and most often then not, she gave into it. Her chest felt tight, constricting like she couldn't breathe, and when the heck had it gotten so hot out here?

Taking one or maybe two steps backward, Lydia looked completely lost and bewildered as to what to do. ".. Theo?.. I..." the words kind of slipped out before she could think to stop them. There were so many things she kind of wanted to say, mostly ones starting with 'why the hell are you here' but it was apparent to her that he hadn't just wandered in from some other town like she had. That made her the interloper. "Wha.. wh.." she started, but couldn't seem to make herself finish, her hands wringing together a bit.

Part of her was relieved at least, to see that he was alive. And okay from the looks of it, at least physically. Though she didn't know whether seeing him alive, or finding out he was dead would have been worse. Probably the latter. Lydia fidgeted in place though, quelling down the instinct to get on the first stage coach out of town, blinking a bit widely at him "Are you okay?" she asked. Oh well that was a stupid question. "I mean your hand.. I... I didn't know.." she began. "I didn't know.." though which part she didn't know remained to be seen.

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[info]londonaftrdark
2008-09-12 10:25 pm UTC (link)
A slight jerk tugged at his belly as he heeled at the cigarette still burning on the ground next to him. He really didn't have to put it out, but it was an excuse to advert his eyes, if only for a moment. He expected her to be gone when he looked up, and was almost afraid to even see if it had happened. But to his surprise (and possibly her own), she was still there. Theo bit down on his lower lip tightly, placing either hand at each side since there was really no gesture to be made. This encounter made the entire family reunion seem like nothing. This was different.

Lucky for them both they were not in a quiet room or area. The people surrounding them made up for the awkward silence between both he and Lydia. That is, until she stuttered. Still, he kept his teeth engraved into his lip, afraid that it might split. If anything, he should be asking her what she was doing here. He was from New Shelby, after all. But no, he wasn't going to ask, nor did he have the right. Even desperation on wanting to pry right away clung to him like a child. It was pure fact that he still loved her.

The mention of his hand caused him to turn away and glance down at it. Only a small burn mark, still red, pulsed lightly on the back of his hand. Finally, he let his lip go and gulped at the lump in his throat, croaking out, "I.. Well.. I mean, it's fine. It'll heal."

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[info]quietriverrage
2008-09-12 10:59 pm UTC (link)
Lydia stole a glance down at his hand, unsure of what to do except make herself useful. "Are you sure? I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to.. I'm sure I.. startled you as much as you startled me.. here.." she reached up and pulled the thing that was keeping her hair up off into her hand. Looking around, she spotted a large tub filled with water, one that wasn't for the horses, she was pretty sure. It looked like it was holding jugs of something, probably to keep it cool. She dipped the scarf in the water and then brought it back over and held out her hand. "Let me see.."

Then she paused, "I mean.. please.. sorry.." she guessed she was just used to helping without question. And she definitely couldn't look him in the eye either, so she glanced down at his hand the whole time. Every time she tried to open her mouth to explain something, she really had no idea where to begin or what to say. She had a lot to be sorry for after all, and even more things to explain.

Once or twice she looked over at him, because it was him. It had been a year or so, but he looked almost the same. She though, she'd lost a lot of weight in the year that had passed. "I didn't know you were here.." she finally started, because she didn't know how else to say it.

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[info]londonaftrdark
2008-09-12 11:08 pm UTC (link)
Theo fell back slightly, leaning against the beam that he was once sitting upon. He began to fold his arms against his chest but stopped short after she had dipped the scarf and ask for his hand. He paused, looking at the burn for another short moment before showing it off to her. No reply, not even a word to let her know it was OK to not say please. It didn't seem necessary.

As she placed the cool cloth on his hand, he shuddered, looking at her--or, the top of her head and part of her face anyways. What was he supposed to say, or do? Surely if he were to open his mouth and speak again he would say something that would make him look like a giant fool, as usual. He ached to just swipe his hand through her hair, but kept his ground and his hands to himself, aside from his left one. Again, to his reoccurring relief, she spoke.

"Yeah I.. Um, I mean, neither did I. I mean I didn't know you were here either." Secretly he wanted to smack himself in the face, but didn't bother to do so. "You look.. Do you live here or are you just in town?"

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[info]quietriverrage
2008-09-12 11:23 pm UTC (link)
Carefully she wrapped the cloth around his hand and then turned his hand around so she could tie it around, though not before wiping it as gently as she could. The urge to run was dying down, and she probably wouldn't now, well at least not until he left and then she'd just probably freak out and do god knows what. But she wasn't thinking that far ahead anymore. Just about what was in front of her. Him.

Finally she let his hand go, and reached up to rub the back of her neck. "Um.. well I've only been here.. a couple of weeks.. not that long. I.. sort of I live here.. um.. I was.." Oh it was such a long story. "Living with a girl.. a girl half my age.." she gave a weird sort of laugh because it sounded a bit ridiculous. "I'm.. um.. her maid.. but she's here on her own.. she's only .. 16.. I don't know what we're doing.."

Yeah she knew how incredibly insane that sounded. Maybe she'd actually went around the bend, though when she thought about it, it didn't sound insane. Of course she ran away from ... well she hadn't ran from anything that time, but she'd gone along with it. Maybe that was just as bad.

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[info]londonaftrdark
2008-09-12 11:36 pm UTC (link)
Upon her finishing, he squeezed his fist around the cloth, glancing at it before dropping his hand to the beam. So she "sort of" lives here. Hm, well that was odd. Then again, Theo does "sort of" live here as well. He lives in a damn Inn: one room, one bathroom. It didn't sound quite that strange until she continued on. A girl half her age? He cocked a brow in surprise, wondering... Ah, she's a maid. That made sense.

"So basically you're just, following wherever she moves off to? As her maid? Hm," he mumbled, folding his arms before continuing, "I guess I could say that I sort of live here as well. O'er there at the inn. I was um, well, I couldn't stay where I was before due to certain circumstances. So, here I am.. and here you are." The last part of his speech lowered considerably. He didn't know whether or not he should feel happy or scared about this. There were other things he wanted to say, but couldn't find the courage to say them. Not yet.

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[info]quietriverrage
2008-09-12 11:56 pm UTC (link)
The look on his face was very familiar because well anyone who knew her and heard that she was a maid now instead of a midwife was quite the shock. Really she just shrugged her shoulders a bit, "My.. dad.. decided he wanted to.. I don't know, I think he's lost it.. my sister.. she.. there was an accident. he didn't take it well and we moved.. and then he just wanted to.. be someone's .. manservant or something.. she's got more money then God..I should have stayed but I couldn't just let her go off alone.." and by then she realized she was rambling.

Rambling quite a bit actually, so she promptly shut her mouth, looking a bit embarrassed. He lived at the Inn? Hm. Slowly she nodded her head a bit, wondering how much trouble he'd been in last time and how bad it was that he had to move. "Right... here I am..here you are.." she felt like maybe she should apologize for being here, and then tell him that she'd leave. Instead she rocked on her feet a little bit.

"Didn't think you were one for festivals.." she finally said, wondering if she sounded as silly as she thought.

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[info]londonaftrdark
2008-09-13 12:51 am UTC (link)
He couldn't help but blink as she spoke. She was throwing out a heap of information at him, whether she realized it or not. Either way, he took whatever he could in with a polite nod or two, putting it all on the manifest in his head that had been labeled Lydia. Another nod and he looked ajar, his eyes resting on the crowd dancing--old and new faces emerging every now and then. How was one supposed to act towards another that they either still loved or once loved in the past? It felt incredibly unnerving that they had split in such a speedy manner. Theo still hasn't recovered from it.

But that didn't matter. No, he shouldn't care so much about what had happened. In fact, he didn't want to, but he couldn't help it. "I'm not, I'm not," he started, twisting his jaw a bit to the side as he glared at his feet, "I needed some air, that's all. My sleeping pattern is a bit off. Shit before that I wasn't even able to sleep. Damn insomnia got the best of me for a couple'a weeks." He toed the dirt, "I um.. Do you want to.." The words were unable to escape him, no matter how hard he tried. Should he ask her to dance? Should he ask her to take a walk with me? Should he bring up the past and apologize for how much of an ass he was? He didn't know.

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[info]quietriverrage
2008-09-13 01:58 am UTC (link)
From that moment on she'd make an effort not to just ramble off like that, but it was probably going to happen again, she really just couldn't help herself. Once words started, she'd be hard pressed to shut up when she was nervous. It did rather look like the time apart from him had done her more harm then good, especially by her appearance if not her mannerisms. Her fingers were probably digging into her hands so much she was bleeding, but she didn't pay that any mind.

She gave a knowing nod of her head, "I remember.." she said softly, about his insomnia. It made sense then what he was doing out in the middle of the day, wandering around. "I got a bit turned around, I'm not sure how.." she guessed she was still getting used to things. When he asked before he had even finished, or at least trailed off, she'd piped up, "Yes.. I mean.." realizing he hadn't actually asked her to anything. "Whatever it was I.." and there she was trailing off too. Carefully she reached up and rubbed her forehead, "Quite a pair we are.." she muttered.

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[info]londonaftrdark
2008-09-13 06:23 pm UTC (link)
Her words couldn't help but make him tug at each corner of his lips, curling them into a small sort of smile. This run-in shouldn't make either of them smile, really, considering how they left each other in the past. But still, seeing her face was like seeing a path leading to no where--which in his case, was a good thing. His paths usually led him to somewhere that he didn't need to go in life. Somewhere that marked his name down on someone's list to catch or kill. Theo licked his lips and turned away shyly, parting his lips numerous times before looking back at her. "I was going to ask you to dance," he mumbled, motioning towards the floor. He rarely danced, but wasn't terrible at it. As long as it was with someone who he genuinely liked, then his moves didn't seem to matter. He could dance then without music if he had to.

"But of course if you would rather grab something to drink or food even, I won't object to that. Anything you want, Lydia," he tilted his head, realizing that this was the first time he had said her name in a very long time. Maybe he had said it once or twice to Helene, his sister, but it never meant anything the way it meant to him right now. Thinking, he wished that he would have mentioned this statement to her more often. Anything you want, had always played in his mind, but almost never slipped from his mouth. There was so much more he wanted to say.

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[info]quietriverrage
2008-09-13 07:14 pm UTC (link)
The smile had been worth all of the weirdness, seeing him do it made her want to put her arms around him and hug him tightly. She missed him more then any other weird emotion she'd been feeling. It made her smile in return, just slightly until her eyebrows had gone up a little in surprise. He wanted to dance? That was a little amusing. More then a little amusing. It wasn't like she was some big dancer either, she could count on one hand how many times she'd actually done it. Her eyes flickered up toward the floor and then back at him.

A lot of the time in the new places she'd gone, she imagined what it would have been like to be there with him. She'd spent such a long time with him that it was hard not to think about what he was doing in those very moments. Carefully she inclined her head and then smiled again, "I'd like that.. dancing I mean.." she let out a breath and then carefully put out her hand. No matter what else happened, they at least had this, meeting each other another time. Maybe this time wouldn't be as bad as the last.

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[info]londonaftrdark
2008-09-14 03:49 am UTC (link)
It was a surprise to him that she had even accepted his invitation to dance. He thought for sure that she would pass up on the offer and take a different route--like grabbing a bit to eat or something other than dancing. But he was glad. He was glad that she wanted to dance with him. He was glad that she wanted to do anything with him right now.

Pushing himself from the beam, he took her hand and gave it a light squeeze before leading her to the floor. Something slow was in order, because anything other than dancing slow and he wouldn't be able to get his feet moving. Theo motioned towards one of the band mates off in the distance, mouthing the word, then shot his gaze back to her. By now he had let her hand go, only to wipe his own on his pants and reapplying them--one on the small of her back, the other laced in her own hand. "Thank you," he whispered, leaning forward, "For accepting."

Being here, on the dance floor with her, felt incredibly unreal. Touching her made him wonder if he had ever forgotten how she felt. Which of course, he did not. He did not forget, but he missed it.

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[info]quietriverrage
2008-09-14 08:52 am UTC (link)
Lydia squeezed his hand in return as they walked over to the floor. The whole thing was a little surreal, that was very true. She'd gotten up that morning thinking that nothing out of the ordinary was going to happen and now here she was, placing one hand on Theo's shoulder and the other hand in his. Really she didn't know how close to be to him, though in the past she'd never let other people bother her. She danced as close enough as she wanted before. Now it was a bit different but she couldn't help but want to be close yet again.

She only moved when the music began to play, letting him take the lead of course. And when he leaned in, putting his lips by her ear, she had to shut her eyes for a moment and swallow, letting out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. Carefully she forced her eyes to open, and she gave a small smile, "Well thank you for asking.." she whispered back. Her mouth opened again to say something else, but it seemed to die on her lips for a moment before she found the courage to actually say it.

"I miss.. you.." she said carefully. Well at least she said it, even if she got so scared later she ran for the hills.

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[info]londonaftrdark
2008-09-14 02:30 pm UTC (link)
Pretending to hold her closer than she expected was the only thing he could do during this situation. After all, he wasn't sure whether or not she was married, or at least being courted by someone. He certainly didn't want to intrude into any affair (be it the case), and only hoped that an innocent dance would be almost crossing the line. However, she hadn't stopped Theo from any of this, but he couldn't conclude without a word from the horse's mouth if she was indeed free.

The music played, and she started off before he could even render the fact that they were supposed to move. He was glad that she was thankful for him asking to dance, and he knew that he had already thought this before they even stepped on stage. He couldn't help but run it by himself again. And just as he dipped his head low near her temple, quiet words grasped at him like a ship's anchor. His hands tensed, gripping a little tighter at her back and squeezing her hand just like before. At first, he didn't know how to reply; how to contort to her words with words of his own. They were caught in his throat like pins and needles.

Finally, though, he managed to part his lips and press his cheek very lightly against the side of her face, whispering in return more than what should have been said, "I have missed you since the day we parted, Lydia. But why do you miss me? I was.. I was.." Theo couldn't complete the sentence. He didn't have to. They both knew how much of an ass he was, whether or not they'd like to admit to it.

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[info]quietriverrage
2008-09-14 06:30 pm UTC (link)
Really she didn't move much besides the gentle sway back and forth and it was possible that she wasn't even doing that after a moment. Just standing there with him was more then she should have asked for. With his hands tightening around her, and squeezing her hand, she inhaled a bit sharply, and then forced herself to breathe yet again. Wasn't there supposed to be a proper way to go all about this? Not that either of them had really deemed to live by society's rules. She didn't care much now either.

For a couple of moments, she was sure that he wasn't going to say anything in return and thought maybe it was better that way. She'd felt a little resigned to silence when he brushed his cheek against hers. And for a moment the only thing stopping her from making a scene seemed to be the fact that they were in public. He had asked her a question, but it was one she actually didn't have to think about.

"Because it's... you.. because I .. love.. you, Theo. You can't shut off how you feel even when the other person goes away.." she swallowed a little, keeping her cheek by his. "You're... you, but I'm the one who ran away.. I'm a coward. I'm always running."

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[info]londonaftrdark
2008-09-15 05:37 am UTC (link)
His fingers had already begun to rub at the back of her hand slightly, caressing her skin in a way that he might be trying to hide it. They were exchanging large bits of silence between takes of questions and statements about one another, as though they were trying to keep from others rubbernecking into the conversation. Of course, this wasn't the case. It was just that either of the two weren't sure what to say. Should anything really be said at all? Yes, but how should it be said?

Theo kept his face near hers, unable to pull away even with the fact that they were no longer with each other. It was something else he couldn't help but doing, and ignoring.

He and Lydia took a few more glides until she spoke again. Only this time it made him pause and hold his breath just as she had done moments earlier. She still loved him, after all this time; something that he thought otherwise. True, he was taken aback, but at the same time he was grateful that she still did--for he had never lost his love towards her either.

"I still love you, Lydia. I always have. You say I am who I am but you ran away because of it. Or, at least that's what it seemed like," he mumbled, continuing on with the dance as the sky darkened even more.

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[info]quietriverrage
2008-09-15 08:59 am UTC (link)
If she noticed that he was rubbing the back of her hand, she didn't let on so much. It wasn't like she could pull away any more then he could. A large portion of her wanted to touch him, kiss him, hold him, and a dozen other things that they weren't in the right place or the right time for. It was just that she was overwhelmed seeing him again, and that's why she couldn't just through caution to the wind as much as she wanted to.

It was an odd conversation they were having, or at least to be having as they were dancing in front of other people. A serious conversation, yes but she thought if they stopped and thought about talking about it later, in private that she might not come back again. So she was all right with having it here, in this place, amongst these people. After all, they didn't know her at all.

She took a deep breath, not sure what to say about his words. Carefully after a couple of moments she made herself actually look at him before putting her head back where it was. "It was at the time.. partially.. I'm not sure how much of it was you and how much of it was me. A year apart from everything gives.. a while to think.." it seemed like that might be all she had to say, at least while they moved around the floor once or twice more before she started up again.

"You could have been a saint and I'm sure I would have ran away eventually.. but.. it took.. nine years.. I wouldn't have stayed with you that long if I didn't.." Oh really she didn't know how to put it into words. "Maybe I needed time.. to be.. I don't know.. it was bad. So bad after I left.. I shouldn't have.. everything was worse. I'm worse.. I'm sorry."

Hopefully before anyone could see, she reached up and brushed the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. Just thinking about it brought up bad memories. She was just sorry she wasn't a better or a stronger person.

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[info]londonaftrdark
2008-09-16 05:07 pm UTC (link)
Keeping close to her was the only way he could think of trying to mask the words emitting from their mouths. Both of them felt a bit strange speaking about important matters whilst dancing amongst the other couples doing the same things. He was sure that half of these people were most likely whispering into each others ears as well; but about what, he could not fathom. He just hoped in a way that they were not alone.

It was even just as strange to him that they had only seen each other more than a few moments ago, and already they were dancing as though the last time they saw each other were yesterday. Perhaps it was because there was that comfortable sense that the time apart didn't quite matter or have an affect on how much or how how little they would touch each other--which was a good thing. It only proved that either of them never lost what they once had (or what they still have).

What she said added a bit of hope to his thoughts. Although he never ceased to brawl in saloons, cause a ruckus here and there wherever he went, or throw a tantrum once in a blue moon, Theo hadn't robbed a bank in years. His name was still damaged in Oregon and in a small part of Nevada as being a wanted man, but they wouldn't find him, hopefully. Not in New Shelby, California. He was.. Different now, to say the least.

"I suppose I can't argue that you're right. So we're both at fault. Even though I think that either of us would like to blame ourselves more than each other." He shrugged some, his eyes searching for anything else that might be lost. Then she turned away, and he gazed over at the band, pleading with his eyes to continue on playing something slow. "I um, I'm sorry as well, Lydia. Really I am." He didn't want her to run away, not again.

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[info]quietriverrage
2008-09-16 06:08 pm UTC (link)
Nine years was a long time for anyone to be together, especially if they weren't married. In many ways, she felt like he knew her better then anyone else did, even her father. He'd been there through some of the roughest parts of her life, and she'd just gone away without an explanation. Though it didn't seem like he was angry with her, she wouldn't have blamed him for being betrayed. The first couple of weeks after she left, she wanted nothing more then just to run back, to assure him that she was okay, and alive.

They were both quite different, she seemed to be a shell of the person she was. Though they had their differences, before she was usually happy.. they were happy. And now she was wasting away, with skin that looked like she'd tried to scrub it all off. But seeing him, being there with him had put her at ease in a way she hadn't felt in that whole year since she'd been gone. They might be nervous around each other and scared, but a part of her felt at home.

"That's usually how it is.. blaming yourself.." her hand drifted down from his shoulder, down to his chest and she sighed. "I know, Theo.." she finally glanced back up towards him to look him in the eye. "And I.. forgive you.. if you'll forgive me.." they both seemed to need it. Really it seemed like even if the band put on some high speed number, she'd just continue to stand there with him, rocking back and forth.

"I didn't expect to ever see you again.. but I'm.. glad I have.. maybe it was meant to be this way," though Lydia didn't usually have such notions of fate or anything like that, she couldn't help but wonder.

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[info]londonaftrdark
2008-09-17 04:50 am UTC (link)
"Blaming yourself is certainly a hell of a lot easier than blaming the other. Unless, you didn't love them," he replied, cutting himself short of his mumbling and returning to being silent.

Perhaps the band was well over playing sappy, slow, love-like music, because they stopped rather abruptly, trying to regain themselves by fading into something more upbeat. It was then that Theo glared up at the instrument playing fools and narrowed his eyes, he too stopping but in dance. And as he stepped away from her, the emptier and colder it felt. Now the couples were switching off, dancing their pathetic little hearts out while Theo and Lydia stood there.

She didn't expect to see him just as much as he didn't expect to see her. Not to say that he never thought about her. But, she's forgiven him for all that he's done? He couldn't argue that, not even with his lips parted and wanting to.

Before the two were to make their way from the stage, he pulled himself into her again, the skin of his lips pressing against the skin of her right ear. "Of course I forgive you," he whispered before taking her hand and leading her from the stage. It was her call now. Her call to decide whether or not she wanted to keep her feet planted in New Shelby, or to run away.

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[info]quietriverrage
2008-09-17 11:52 am UTC (link)
As the music stopped, it was like she suddenly remembered where she was, going back into that weird nervousness of before when she wasn't holding onto him. People might have been looking over at them, but she didn't pay them any attention, it just felt weird to be standing there gawking like she had been earlier. She kind of crossed her arms in front of her chest, hoping that would help a little but it didn't seem to. She didn't quite know what they were supposed to be doing, but she knew he didn't either.

Though she'd been glancing around a bit, trying to figure out something to say, Lydia hadn't expected him to reach out and hold onto her again. She might have stumbled slightly, but this time she put her arms around him lightly, but all the way and inhaled deeply while he whispered into her ear. Her face pressed against his chest slightly and then lifted up to look him in the eye as he took her hand. She followed of course, away from the throng of people and glad to be away from them.

After a moment or two, she managed to find her voice, "Do you.. want to see where.. I live.. so you'll um.. know?" she didn't really know why she was asking except that it was fairly out of the way, and no one was there but Joanna if she was there at all. But there weren't people, and that was the main thing. Really though she just wanted to stay with him, and at that moment she'd do whatever he wanted if it meant he didn't let go of her hand and head off somewhere.

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[info]londonaftrdark
2008-09-22 11:41 pm UTC (link)
As he quickly fumbled into his pockets for another smoke (the nerves were starting to ache), the question slipping from Lydia's mouth made him freeze. "See where you live?" He asked, removing his hand from his pocket slowly, "I.. Sure."

(( Sorry this is so short, I thought I should have put something before closing the thread. ))

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[info]quietriverrage
2008-09-22 11:56 pm UTC (link)
((No worries. Woohoo for being done))

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