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theo (londonaftrdark) wrote in oldwest_rpg,
@ 2008-06-06 01:23:00

Entry tags:

helene ellwood, theo ellwood

room 11.
Who: Theo Ellwood & Helene Ellwood
Where: The Inn
When: June 6, 1867; Around 10:00 am
Status: Complete
Summary: Theo's mood has plummeted to near depression, although he still kicks around a bit of humor, he keeps his presence today strictly to his room at the Inn.

Sure, it seemed like a nice enough day to be outside shootin' the shit with friends, but Theo had other plans for his emotions: to stay indoors like a sickly child. The room was just as it had always been - dark with a hint of light coming from the partly open curtains of one window to the left of the doorway. There was, however, a lit candle that had melted over the dresser against the the same wall the door was planted in, accompanied by a dirty mirror and a lonesome chair covered with Theo's clothing.

It had been over a month since he last saw Lilah and James, and only 5 days since he last saw Helene. The month was killing him. He would have never thought that it would hurt so badly wanting to see his brother and sister; to want to know their lives and be accepted as their older brother again. He was sure that they had already done so quietly, but he wanted to be sure that they still loved him just as much as he still loved them.

There were obvious differences with Helene, unfortunately. Five days ago he saw her sitting on the porch of their brother's home - a home in which he had no idea was owned by James, let alone lived in by Helene as well. She seemed to hate him. To want nothing to do with him anymore, and he didn't blame her for that. He truly was sorry, with no other way to explain it.

With his shirt, vest and jacket strewn out onto that lonesome chair near the door, he stood facing the mirror, staring blankly at himself in silence. He could not muster a smile (one that he would always give himself each time he looked at his reflection) nor a grin of any sorts towards himself. The muscles in his face were against him.

"I should have never come back," he said quietly, softly poking at his healed ribs, glad they recovered so well. The thought only crossed his mind for a brief moment before leaving. No. He was glad that he came back. He was glad that he reunited with three of his four siblings. Where was his other brother, he wondered. Was he here as well?

"Ok, I can't stay in here anymore. I'm going to drive myself fuckin' crazy," he mumbled, throwing on his clothing in a rush. Peering at himself in the mirror once more, he tried to force a smile, but failed miserably. Instead, he pushed two fingers against the corners of his lips and lifted, pretending a smile.

Theo had better days.

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misshelene
2008-06-08 05:16 am UTC (link)

Helene had been working for the morning when she was sent on a couple of erands for the bank, for one erand she had to approach the Inn which instantly reminded her of Theo, her long lost brother, gone for fourteen years suddenly back in New Shelby. She slowed down her pace as the Inn came nearer, chewing the inside of her cheek as she wondered if Theo was in his room, she had mesmerised his room number, room 11.

She had a hard time accepting why the oldest of a family would just turn their back on their own family, especially if they had lost both their parents, she wondered why he had a different name, if he were in some sort of trouble. 5 days ago Helene told Theo that she could not forgive him, that was the truth, but if they had met again she would not be mean to him. Still walking by at a slow pace, Helene decided she could see if he was in when she had her lunch break.

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londonaftrdark
2008-06-08 05:34 am UTC (link)

His hat tipped lower than usual, a sign that he was not doing well considering his situation; the fact that he had seen three of his four siblings, one of which had denied him completely. It was a shame, really, but his fault, nonetheless.

Theo opened the door slowly, letting it creak as he stepped out into the wooden-floored hallway, then closed it. Leaving his room was like leaving a child; he did not want to venture out into the so-called wild, but in order to keep his sanity, he had to make himself known, even to enemies.

The wooden panels ached beneath his feet as he ascended the stairs into the lobby. A trait of his own personal depression. He wouldn't have minded falling down the steps just now, however he cherished his life even how sad he had become.

His expression was sober. The minutes of 5 days ago played over and over again in his head like a silent movie on repeat. His own sister denied his apology. The others (Lilah and James) seemed so forgiving that it was too good to be true. Yes, one sibling's rejection would throw Theo into complete and utter sadness.

Just as he reached the bottom step, his eyes ventured upwards to the door. It opened, presenting a female figure in silhouette form - one that he could not see until now. It was Helene. Theo stopped in his tracks, holding his breath and trying to pretend that he did not notice.

But he did.

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misshelene
2008-06-08 07:42 am UTC (link)

With her hand still on the door knob, she stopped herself from going further in when a figure caught her eye. She looked up and it felt like her heart had jumped out of her mouth, catching the knob for support, she was not sure if she had anything planned to say to him, but if she did, they were all gone now.

"Theo..."

Was all that could come out as she caught her breath again, she wanted to say more but felt as though she was tongue tied.

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londonaftrdark
2008-06-08 07:54 am UTC (link)

Tongue in the way of his teeth, Theo couldn't say one damn word. Helene, standing there like a deer in the headlights, managed to spill out his name, but that was all. At least it was something; otherwise the atmosphere would have grown thicker than it already was.

Still, Theo said nothing. He could not even open his mouth. His jaw felt like it was wired shut. He could feel a bit of sweat form on his temple. Slowly he turned to the man managing the front desk. The man, who was busy with his own issues, did not even bother to look.

"You showed," was all Theo could manage. He did not think that Helene even bothered to remember where he was staying.

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misshelene
2008-06-08 08:02 am UTC (link)

"A little earlier than expected." Helene let out a small smile, hoping to lighten the mood a tad "I'm on an erand for work which brought me here."

Helene finally let go of the door knob, stepping out of the way if anyone wanted to come or go and they were standing in the way. She followed Theo's eyemovement to the front desk to see the busy man. Then allowed her eyes fall back onto her brother.

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londonaftrdark
2008-06-08 09:04 am UTC (link)

He nodded once, folding his arms over his chest and looking anywhere but towards her.

"I didn't think you'd come," he said, serious about his implement. He had given the actual place he was staying and his real room number, thinking that she would never dare herself to even set foot inside of the building. Her courageous effort far exceeded his surprising outcome. Theo was overly exasperated.

"I was just leaving to get a drink. The room was becoming a bit... Depressing."

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misshelene
2008-06-08 09:51 am UTC (link)

Helene raised a brow as she noticed Theo looking everywhere but her which made her feel uncomfortable, but she did not let it show.

"I didn't think I would either". She admitted, she had been arguing with herself the past five days about seeing her long lost brother, knowing where he was staying did not help her.

Though she had not seen Theo for years, she could tell he had not been looking himself, he looked white, like he hadn't seen the sun and dispite the situation she became worried "Just A drink, not more than you can't handle?" She sighed, it felt somewhat weird lecturing her older brother, this is, after all, only their second meeting, "Oh, Theo, you haven't been locking yourself up have you?"

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londonaftrdark
2008-06-08 10:05 am UTC (link)

A lie could not persuade her in the opposite direction. Theo had to tell her the truth; he owed her that. Telling a lie would be just as bad as turning his back on her and leaving her there to fend off her emotions. So, he lifted his eyes to hers, and spoke.

"My plan was to drink until I was more of an asshole than I already am," he said, hoping that it made a bit of sense to her, since it almost made none to him, "To drink until I was careless of where I was going or what I was doing."

Truth be told, he wanted to forget what he was feeling. He did not want to feel like such a low-life or even worthless. Honesty to himself, he had never felt like the bottom of one's shoe - stepped upon so many times that it made him numb enough to not even care about how many hostile fights he were going to get himself into.

The man behind the front desk shifted, looking at Helene then to Theo, tilting his head upwards in the direction of the upstairs room - Room 11. But Theo did not want to close himself inside any longer. If he were to do so, his mind would force himself to jump out of the window, just to get away from the shadows.

Ignoring the man, he stepped closer to his sister, unfolding his arms and letting them hang at his sides so that he could use his hands to gesture as he spoke, "I won't lie. Yes, I have been upstairs in that room all god damn day. I've never felt so... So... Useless."

Theo wanted to be forgiven, but he knew that it was a bigger bite than he could chew.

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misshelene
2008-06-08 10:32 am UTC (link)

Helene felt guilty, her brother was going to drink himself silly and no doubt it could be because of the way she reacted on his return, or could have gotten into some other trouble? Either way, although she will not forget that she hadn't forgiven him, she hoped she could change his mind.

"Theo..." She started, taking her time in hope to find the right words "I hope you can understand why I found it hard to forgive you... but you are still my brother, and family is family..."

She trailed, glancing around to see if anyone could have been listening in, or she could just be distracting herself again, taking in a deep breath then letting it out she faced Theo again "So I hope there is a way I can distract you and not let you drink yourself silly."

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londonaftrdark
2008-06-08 07:16 pm UTC (link)

A sigh fell from his lips. Of course he understood why she could not forgive him as easily as the others. It was bound to happen: not all is forgiven. Wishing it away wasn't going to do anything differently, so accepting it the way it was was the only way to get past it.

"I do understand, Helene. Believe me. I mean, I've felt like shit these past five days and it all comes down to being my fault. I don't expect you to run into my arms and-" he said, closing his mouth then running his hand through his messy hair. He didn't know what else to say.

Theo supposed that he could grant her one plead and not go out drinking tonight. Yes. Perhaps he'll just walk back up those stairs and thunk down on the bed doing the same thing he's been doing all day: staring at the ceiling. It did sound better...

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misshelene
2008-06-08 10:35 pm UTC (link)

Helene hated this awkwardness that surrounded them, they were family for goodness sake! But until she was able to forgive Theo, she was a afraid that awkwardness will haunt them. She only nodded when Theo said he believed her.

The silence fell again, she looked around then back at Theo, she didn't want to leave him, surprisingly, for all she know he could go out and drink, she could not stay either for she was due back to work "I'm...only out on errands... perhaps we could meet later? Lunch maybe?"

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londonaftrdark
2008-06-09 03:14 am UTC (link)

Having lunch with his sister would be the icing to his cake. Then again, he'd have to have a cake to begin with. Either way, he would obliged and accept the invitation to have a sit-down with Helene over a meal. He would hope that during that time there would be plenty to talk about. It had been, after all, 14 years since they have seen each other. Not one of them has said a thing about their lives - yet.

"Lunch? Right, lunch. Um, yeah I could fit that into my tight schedule," he said jokingly. His schedule: Not a damn thing. It was strange, he thought, that the two hadn't even hugged. Theo wasn't going to push it, though. When she was ready, she'd let him know.

"Let's see, it's," Theo reached into his pocket and whipped out an old watch. It belonged to their father. "10:23. You have work. When is your lunch?" he asked, holding the watch still and looking up at her. Anytime is a good time for him.

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misshelene
2008-06-09 05:02 am UTC (link)

Helene smiled to show that she got his tight schedule joke, she did think of a come back but being a part for so long she decided to keep it to herself. She raised a brow when he took out his watch she admired the charming and unique watch, though it was not familiar with her.

Looking up to Theo again when he spoke "I have lunch from One to Two...we could meet in front of the bank-where I work- if you like and go from there?"