Home Is Where The Other Two-Thirds of You Are
“Alex!!” Dropping everything in her hands suddenly onto a nearby table, Maria made to rush to the other third of her. “Alex, I missed ya soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mu-" Her excited chatter was cut off by a rather large hand that was suddenly thrust in front of her and barring her from moving. "Hey! Move it ya tub of disgustin' lard.” Going quickly from excited happiness to irritated glaring, Maria narrowed her clear green eyes at the imbecile who had dared gotten in her way. “Can’t ya see I’m trying t' go somewhere?”
“Dash … my dwinksssssss…” The man slurred as he stumbled onto his feet. “Me want …”
Pulling her head back slightly as the man leaned into her to speak, she wrinkled her nose, placed the tips of her fingers on the middle of his chest, and gave him a none so delicate shove back. “Ya want t' start washin'. Didn’t yer mother ever tell ya not t' breathe heavily on people with diarrhea breath?”
“Yuzzz, aints nose … nose … lady.” The large man who had fallen with a rather large crash was currently lolling his slobbering head uncomfortably on the floor. Looking up Maria’s rather short skirt.
Her eyes widened as she let out a gasp of surprised and disgusted, affronted, annoyance before they narrowed into little slits. “I’ll show ya ‘nose lady’ ya piece of cra-Umf!” She screeched behind the hand that had suddenly covered her mouth.
“Maria. Remember the talk Uncle Richard gave you about kicking patrons in their unmentionables?” A calm and level voice asked.
“Mmmf, mm, UMPH!” She exclaimed as she crossed her arms against her chest.
“Maria. He’s still a patron.” Her other third, Liz Parker of the sadly always logical, reminded her. “Even if he is scum.”
“Mmmf, mmf?” She quested in a pleading whine.
“No. Not even a little bit.” Liz laughed.
“Mmf.”
“And I love you too. Now will you promise to behave if I remove my hand?”
Rolling her eyes, Maria stamped her foot to the ground once in petulance before nodding. What was the point of being a barmaid if you had to slave without the kicks? Pun very much intended.
"Glad to see that I'm gone for a year and that some things never change."
Features lighting up once again Maria pulled away from Liz and launched herself at the tall and gangly form of Alex Whitman.
Stumbling slightly Alex managed to get a hold of the firecracker in his arms, wrapping them tightly around her, and subtly relaxing against the feel of her soft curves. The smell of sweat, dirt, fabric, flowers and Maria were something that he had painfully missed his year out in Port Royale. There was nothing quite like it.
"Ahem."
Alex looked up from the urchin in his arms to the amused smile of the petite little lady that was Elizabeth Parker. He grinned goofily over at her over Maria's head and rolled his eyes as if to say What's a guy to do?
Liz rolled her own eyes both in understanding and amused exasperation but he noticed how that small Lizzish smile quirked up slightly and widened a bit more. Alex had missed that smile too. None of the girls over at Jamaica could smile like his girls. None of their smiles were as open and brilliant as Maria's or as delicate yet so revealing as Liz's. They were all false, or too much, or too coy. And they were the most horrible conversationalists. Not to mention not a single one of them knew of any good bawdy songs.
"Maria. I'd like my turn now."
"No!" Alex's grin widened. He could hear the pout in her voice, feel her reluctance to let him go in the way she tightened her arms even tighter around him.
"Maria! Be fair." Liz glared slightly at their friend . If it had been anyone else, if it had been Maria, the person would have been adding a childish stomp to that look. However, Liz Parker had been born adult . It was one of the things that Alex loved about her. It was one of those things that he loved about both of his best friends. They were so startlingly different but they had those random similarities. Such as their utter faith in the ones they believed in and their love of honesty. And he was the one who brought them out, the similarities . He was the one who was the one who focused these two strong women and was the glue that kept them from grating on each other.
Alex loved that. He never felt more wanted in his eighteen years than he did with his girls. He wondered how he'd ever end up getting married and being happy. Because he knew if every girl he was interested in wasn’t compared to Maria than they would be compared to Liz and some how the poor girl would always be lacking.
"Maria." Liz hissed. "You're causing a scene."
Maria rolled her eyes, "As if they've never seen me hug Alex before? They're all just jealous cause he's the only stud that I give the time of day."
"I'm a horse now?" Alex blinked in confusion.
At this Maria pulled away slightly, and it was now her turn to roll her eyes, "No, silly. All the horse fillies want the male studs. An' we have t' be degradingly called fillies all the time. There is no reason why ya can't be called a stud."
"Ahhh, I get it." Alex nodded in the way one firm with the Maria logic only good. "It's both complimentary to me and affirming your feminine rights?"
"Exactly! Because really. I'd never insult ya Alex, yer grand. Even when yer being weird with Lizzie about the science."
"Science is not weird!" Liz interjected, annoyed and offended, as if you had just told her that she had an overly large nose or looked like a pox ridden hag.
"It is so, Lizzie. Believe me, as yer best friend who never in so many any ways lie t' ya, it's weird. It's no wonder yer uncle can't marry you off."
"I thought that was the plan!" Liz crossed her arms. It was one of their many plans. Along with get the de la Lucas off Tortuga and find Alex a proper wife (Alex had no part on the latter plan) they planned on finding a way to keep Liz’s Uncle Richard from forcing her into an unhappy marriage just so he could get some money. Thus far they had nothing concrete for that plan. Mostly because most of the ideas for that plan were Maria’s, and while possibly doable, too risky to even sanely consider.
Uh-oh. Alex thought. "Okay, Ladies. Ladies. NOW we're about to cause a scene. How about you both walk me home and we have a round of hugs from Alex the Stud-man-horse-person for both of you." He said as he widened his arms in a method to display himself, or as Maria would say ‘showing off the goods’.
Maria grinned again and Liz shook her head but that telltale smile was spreading across her small lips.
"Let me just tell my uncle that I'm leaving."
Alex nodded and held onto Maria's arm tightly to keep her from saying anything. As soon as Liz was out of ear shot, however, the petite blonde let loose with her opinion. "I'm surprise he hasn't had her beggin' for scraps an' learnin' t' roll over." Maria's lips curled angrily as she said the words in a dry tone.
"He's her uncle. He has the right to know where she is." Alex said soothingly. Even as he thought the same thing. Richard Parker was attempting to keep Liz under his thumb and under lock and key until he could sell her to the highest bidder. Something to that wouldn't take long. Liz wasn't an Incomparable or even an Original but she had this purity that made others want to put her in a pedestal. With her wide brown eyes that shone with intelligence and seemed to take up everything around her, her dark hair that shone better than the best fur, and that tentative smile that wanted to give the world a chance. Oh, yes Elizabeth Parker was quite the catch and Richard knew it. He rarely let her go anywhere, feeding her hog wash about worrying for her safety on Tortuga. Liz might look like a delicate flower and she probably couldn't defend herself in a scuffle the way Maria could but she was a quick thinker. And she knew the island like the back of her hand. Richard knew that. That was why he wanted her so close. Away from bad influences such as Maria and Alex , close so that she wouldn't get any ideas of leaving him before he could sell her off.
However, there was only so much he could do. Maria was one of his best barmaids and even if she hadn't been the patrons loved her and she had gained a loyal following. Especially for her music. People loved it when she and Alex played together and it brought greedy Richard more money than he could hope for. Not to mention that pissing off Alex Whitman was never a good thing. On his own, Alex really had no standing. His parents had died when he was ten and he had lived first with the Parkers and then the de la Lucas until distant cousins of his mother's decided to take interest in him. A rather influential gentry family from the Netherlands. They were the ones who had paid for his voyage to Port Royale so he could catch up on education he had been lacking in Tortuga. Richard had the presence of mind not to bother Alex very much, especially since he was holding out hope that Alex would marry Liz and give a hefty sum for it.
Not that Alex hadn't offered-despite the fact that Maria had told him repeatedly that Liz would say no-but Liz had said no. She would find another way. Truth be told it was Maria who had found another way. Plenty of other ways in fact. Other ways that both of her friends had pushed aside and neither would admit to secretly considering during the night.
"Rights, my pale white ass!" Maria's outburst caused many of the patrons to let out lewd comments which in turn lead Maria to smile coquettishly. Fluttering her lashes she asked, "Ya'd like t' see wouldn't ya?"
Alex let out a silent laugh. She could be such a tease. Not in the bad way but Maria knew how to play the cards to her favor. Most of the time.
Planting a long leg on a bench right next to her, Maria allowed her long fingers to trace the edge of her short skirt. Slowly, slowly she peeled it backwards. As one the nearby patrons leaned forward. Maria de la Luca liked to wear the most indecent and tantalizing of clothing but she never, ever let anyone touch. Not even a pinch to that behind of hers.
"Maria!!!" Liz gasped outraged.
"Ahh, well. Sorry boys." Maria said with a cutesy shrug before putting her leg back down.
As one they let out either sounds of laughter or disappointment.
"What," Liz started with a scolding tone but only her two best friends noticed the thoroughly entertained twinkle in her dark eyes. "were you about to do in my pare-uncle's bar?"
Alex reached over and gave Liz's fingers a squeeze even as Maria bounded over to Liz and threw her arm around her best friend's neck with much gusto. "I was about to show them my pale white ass!"
"Maria." Liz said in that way of hers. That was chastising but couldn't quite hold back laughter.
Maria shrugged again in a What did I do? way. "They wanted t' see it. An' ya know me. Always willin' t' please the payin' customers." She answered as she steered her best friend towards the front door. Alex who was still holding onto Liz's hand followed in step.
"I'll pay for more than your white ass!"
"I bet ya would, scurvy."
"Maria. That's not scurvy. That's former pox."
"Scurvy. Pox. Fear of bathin'. I don't really care. No way am I ever lettin' his di-"
Liz placed her hand over Maria's mouth as she turned a pretty tomato read.
"Maria!"
Alex shook his head even as a smile split his features. It was so very good to be home.