WHO: Piotr Rasputin and Kurt Wagner WHEN: The afternoon of June 27th. WHERE: The Xavier Institute WHAT: Piotr helps Kurt with his moral dilemma.
Kurt was brooding.
It was not a usual state of affairs for him. Occasionally, he would have a day where he descended into his own thoughts, but that was less because he was in a bad mood and more because sometimes it just paid to sit down and think things out, get everything straight in your head. He hadn't done it for a while, not with his time so occupied by training, and he wasn't doing it now, although he couldn't help but feel that it was what he should be doing. Instead, he was turning his confrontation with Logan over and over in his mind, trying to grind away the rough edges and failing.
The problem was not that the confrontation had taken place. He had caught Logan doing something that he - in Kurt's opinion - ought not do, and he had made his position on the subject clear. But now he felt a nagging self-doubt, a conviction that he had objected not because it was immoral and unsafe to have sex with someone you'd just met, but because the someone in this case was another man.
Piotr was having, by all considerations, a great day. True, the mood in the Mansion was still somewhat sombre, but it was hard to be down on a day when the sun shone so brightly. He had spent the morning painting, nothing particularly special, just the odd landscape and a few abstract pieces to adorn his new room with. He was cheerful, felt great, and was looking forward to an equally enjoyable afternoon.
Which is why the sight of the vaguely familiar furred man hanging upside down from an exposed ceiling beam, looking quite lost in glum thoughts, intrigued him so. He couldn't possibly let another X-man spend such a lovely day descending into depression! So, smiling broadly, he stood beneath the man and offered him an informal greeting in his native tongue.
"Dobriy den, mne druug! Why so blue?"
Kurt snapped out of his own thoughts with a start, blinking large yellow eyes at the massive Russian who stood before him. Disoriented, he hauled himself upright and perched like a gargoyle on the beam from which he'd been hanging. Was the man's name Piotr? He thought so. His tail flicked behind him, agitated, but when he answered his voice was as smoothly cultured as ever.
"I cannot help being blue, my friend. It is, fortunately, my natural state." He offered a half smile, annoyed at being interrupted from his thoughts. Perhaps he should have chosen a more out of the way spot in which to contemplate his folly.
Grinning, Piotr folded his massive arms over his considerably more massive chest, eyebrows raised near a brown/blond hairline. His hair had always been so dark growing up in Siberian Russia, but the American sun had almost bleached it. He tilted his head to the side, finding the normality of an upside down conversation quite amusing.
"Perhaps I should rephrase it, da? You look so glum. How are you glum on such a day? You should be hanging upside down from a tree branch, not a dusty beam. Are you alright?"
"I was thinking," Kurt answered, hopping down from the beam and dusting himself off. He was much shorter than the Russian and significantly slimmer; the man looked like his skin was barely holding in the muscle that bulged beneath it. His tail coiled itself around his upper thigh, as it often did when he was unhappy or uncomfortable. "That is all. And I preferred to do it inside."
"You know," Piotr continued, apparently oblivious to Kurt's discomfort, "I find that when I have a problem, it resolves itself through talking. You know, it seems that the bigger someone is, the better a listener they are. I'm probably the best you'll find..." He winked, sitting down on a wooden bench and hesitating at it began to creak, a somewhat sheepish look on his face before the bench accepted his weight.
Kurt snorted softly and glanced ruefully up at the beam. He had found that it was easier to think when he was hanging upside down. Something about the blood rushing to his brain, probably. Instead, he jumped lightly onto the back of a large armchair, balancing easily. He had never particularly cared for sitting in the actual seat of a chair. It hurt his tail.
"It is not something that I can discuss," he said, folding his hands in front of him. "It involves others than myself, and I made a promise not to say anything." He was wishing now that he hadn't sworn any such thing. Even if Piotr wasn't his first choice as a confidant, it would have felt nice to tell someone.
Piotr leaned forward, clasping his hands between his knees and nodding sagely, as if Kurt's words required great deliberation. He would never ask someone to betray the trust they had with another, but the look Kurt now wore almost begged for a willing pair of ears. "Well...there is no need for named to be mentioned, is there? And if it's a delicate matter...if you wish to talk, we can go somewhere a little less open? And I promise, I am very trustworthy..."
He paused, relaxing and tilting his head back, closing his eyes as he let the metal plates of organic steel cover his body, inch by inch, until he gleamed chrome from head to toe. He winked, tapping the side of his head with one set of knuckles. It was a vulgar display, but endearing nonetheless. He stood before the bench could snap, the armor adding another foot to his height. "See? Solid as a rock. My vows of secrecy are literally unbreakable."
Kurt rolled his eyes but was unable to hide a smile. "Very well," he agreed, jumping from the back of his chair onto Piotr's shoulder, where he perched like a small blue cat. "Take us there." It never entered his mind that what he was doing might be considered an imposition. The man was made of metal, after all. Kurt sincerely doubted that he even noticed the slight increase in weight.
Oh, now this was more like it! Looking like some sort of...chrome pirate and his mutant blue parrot, Piotr made his way down the hallway towards his room, chatting amiably as his footsteps echoed on the wooden floors. "You are very good at that! You're a...teleporter, yes? And if I remember correctly, our name is Herr Wagner." he mused aloud, grinning and meeting a high-five from a passing student. The boy flinched and held his throbbing hand by the wrist, blushing as his friends laughed. "What did you do before you came here? To the mansion, or to America?"
"I was a performer. In a circus." For once, Kurt didn't feel inclined to jabber on about his circus career, and he flicked his tail in irritation. The next time he saw Logan, he was going to jab a claw into his eye, cause him a little pain for taking all of the joy out of life. "I was the acrobat, and people thought I wore a costume." He sighed softly. "I miss that... the circus and my family. I do not see them anymore."
"You and I have that in common, my friend," Piotr nodded, lifting a hand to steady Kurt in case the motion unsteadied him somewhat. He was surprised to find the blue man sway with his every movement. "In Siberia, in Russia, I worked on a farm. My sister is beautiful, and so smart...I always hoped she would be like me, and find something special in herself so that she would join me. But...nyet. Maybe one day." He shrugged again, swiftly changing the subject. If anything could put a chink in his usually so sunny disposition, it was thinking about Illyana and his family.
"So! The circus! That's much, much more interesting than a grain farm! You must have been amazing on a trapeze, especially with that tail!"
"Ja," Kurt answered, not at all modest. "And I am very flexible." Smiling a little now, he reached over and batted Piotr's hand away. There was no need for it; his balance was impeccable. "I had a sister as well. Her name was Jimaine." He bit his lower lip, surprised to find that the thought of his foster sister still hurt so much. She had been so beautiful, so wild, and she had been his best friend. He ducked his head and cleared his throat.
"But they are all in Germany still," he continued. "And I will not see them again."
The door to Piotr's room appeared just in time to avoid a very painful conversation, and he pushed it open with one hand. The frame was immense, almost twice the size of any other door, and the room itself was much bigger. Indeed, the room had been custom made for him, from the welded iron bed to the adjustable magnetic weight bench in the corner, each side currently set to three tonnes.
"Please!" he announced, spreading his arms should Kurt desire a springboard. "Make yourself at home. I believe the dumbell rack would provide you with ample height...?"
Laughing, Kurt sprang down from Piotr's shoulder and settled himself on the weight bench. "I believe I will sit," he said. "But I appreciate your offer." He crossed his legs demurely beneath him and stared expectantly up at Piotr. The prospect of talking about his problems had already brightened him up considerably, but he wasn't entirely certain where to begin. So he waited for Piotr to sit, having decided to allow him to take the lead.
Piotr took a seat on his bed, one of the few structures in the entire house that didn't creak beneath his weight. He stretched, his armor receeding back beneath his skin once more, and looked to Kurt. "Well, this is as private as I can promise, comrade! Do you still feel like lightening your load?"
Kurt shrugged slightly, chewing at the inside of his cheek for a moment. He wasn't sure if talking would help at all, but he knew that it couldn't hurt. So long as he kept Logan's name out of this, then he would be keeping his word. "I... miscalculated while teleporting," he said slowly. The less details the better. "I ended up in someone's room. He was about to have sex with someone he just met."
His face twisted in confusion and he looked pleadingly at Piotr. "It was awkward. I said things I should not have said. I told him I disapproved of what he was doing because they barely knew one another, but lately I am beginning to believe that I was upset because. Well. Because he was with another man."
Aah. Huh. Piotr masked his surprise by folding his hands once more, leaning forward on the edge of the bed and smiling a little. Heaven forbid Kurt should find his way into the top drawer of his dresser - if two men in the throes of passion was enough to upset him, there was enough 'literature' in there for years of therapy. He was certainly surprised to find an objection to different sexuality in a house full of...well...freaks.
"I see why you would be upset," he began, his thick accent making his words slow and deliberate, a deep rumble in the back of his throat. "It must have come as a great shock to you. Tell me, Kurt...is it a religion-based objection, or a personal one? I would never judge your reasons, simply understand them."
Kurt shrugged his shoulders and frowned. "I do not know, and that is what worries me," he confessed. "I am Catholic, but always I thought it was wrong to exclude people. Look at me, for God's sake." He gestured shortly to his own distinctly demonic appearance and grimaced, squirming uncomfortably. "But to see it like that..."
"I wish it was as simple as saying that love is not a sin," he continued, more to himself than to Piotr. He was just speaking aloud the conversation he'd had with himself a dozen times now. "I do not believe that, truly, but the thought of two men... it makes me feel queasy and strange." Kurt looked up, fixing Piotr with a desperate, pleading stare. "I do not wish to be a bad person, though!"
Despite himself, Piotr laughed. There was no helping it! This was a problem he had reconciled with himself many, many years ago, albeit from a different side. He could sympathize with Kurt, and understand why it troubled it so, but the desperation it was causing his new friend was just a little amusing.
"My friend, my friend!" he began, shaking his head and offering a broad smile. "You are much too hard on yourself. Believe me. And consider this...I have no doubt that there have been people in your past, as there have been in mine, who have seen you for what you are, and been afraid. People are afraid of something that is new, or something they don't understand. Your reaction is very human...and the only person you seem to be judging is yourself."
Kurt nodded, but Piotr's words didn't comfort him. There was still a nagging doubt in him, a certainty that he was being utterly unfair. He sighed softly, flicked his tail against his cheek. "Perhaps you are right," he allowed, standing and glancing towards the door. "I feel as though I have wronged this man that I have told you of. I should go apologize..."
Smiling faintly, he held his hand out to Piotr. He still hadn't reconciled his feelings with the person that he'd imagined himself to be, but that would come with time. Now that he knew, he could change it. "Thank you for listening to me talk."
"Kurt..." Piotr smiled softly, standing and ducking to miss the hanging lightshade, taking Kurt's hand in his own and completely enveloping it. "I feel like this is still weighing heavily on you. The mood in the Mansion is so low these days...let me find some way of cheering you up, yes? Not today, but at some point. I would very much like to see you smile."
He opened the door, sliding his thumbs into the waistband of his sweatpants and grinning, his default expression. "I would listen to you talk at any time, my friend. Any time. It was nice to properly meet you."
Kurt smiled again, this time broad and genuine. "I would like that very much," he said. In spite of his continuing uncertainty, it did feel as though a weight had lifted from his shoulders. His resolve to apologize, in particular, made him feel better than he had in days. And in the process of trying to puzzle it out, he seemed to have made a new friend. "I will come find you?"
Piotr found himself slightly surprised by Kurt's smile. He had gotten very good at discerning false smiles from genuine ones, and this was certainly the real thing. The bright, pointed teeth were a pleasant sight on such a dark face. "Since you know where my room is, yes! You come find me. I will find something very nice, and I will see that smile again. Until then, herr Wagner." He offered a shallow bow - any deeper and he would have crushed someone, and nodded good day to his new comrade.