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Tweak says, "When I was a young warthog..."

Zach Kitano (coalintodiamond) wrote in nosuchtimes,
@ 2008-04-22 00:34:00

Entry tags:

adrienne conté, nico vega-fernandez, zach kitano

The History of Zach and Adrienne: Take 15
Who: Zach and Nico
When: Sunday, February 25, 2007. Noon.
Where: Outside on the school grounds.
What: Zach talks with his best friend.

Zach sat down outside in front of a tree, the breeze catching in his hair as he waited for Nico to show at their designated spot. Despite his chat with Loki, he found himself not caring much for the idea they had discussed about a prank. His energy seemed to have died out after thinking about Loki’s words. The anger and general displeasure seeping outwards at others shut off and began to trickle inwards at himself. That was what it was all about, anyway. That was where it belonged, then.

It was true he felt betrayed by Adrienne and what she had done during their emerging relationship. To him, she had discarded everything they were working towards for a mere thrill with someone much more desirable than Zach. High self-esteem wasn’t ever a part of Zach’s life. Undoubtedly to other women, Rafe was attractive, fierce, mysterious, and strong — a much better catch than Zach, at any rate.

He wondered who would think it hypocritical of him, given what had happened between him and Katrina. Zach told himself, over and over again, that happened before he ever met Adrienne. Who would be on his side, though? No one would care of his point of view, not if they knew. Nico would always be his friend; he could count on that. Katrina hadn’t been chased away either, even though Zach had lost the contents of his stomach in front of her in the club Saturday night. He shouldn’t have drunk so much, but he was trying to be tough. It was important for him to be tough, wasn’t it? He was weak, small, and he cared too much. Everything his father silently told him wasn’t good enough: be stronger, be tougher. Be me.

Adrienne wasn’t the main problem, though. The situation with her opened his eyes, made him realize something else. He didn’t have any friends here, did he? Zach spent so much of his time around Adrienne, making it all about her. He felt like his small amount of friendships here hadn’t been lasting ones, the ones he tried to make. Maybe it was his own fault. He hadn’t tried hard enough — like Loki said. Damn it, why did the annoying one have to be right?

Eventually, he thought about everything until it made him angry. Zach wanted to do a prank, something mean, just because he realized he didn’t have any friends here anymore. He didn’t care about anyone but Nico and Katrina. He wanted to spite people. It’s what Zach was good at back home. He could do it again here, too.

The idea lost his interest, though. Anger turned to sadness, and he just leaned again the tree. He didn’t want to do anything. Most people would be vile and turn on the one they cared about, but Zach couldn’t hate Adrienne. He wanted to save himself the pain and just walk away from her. Be cruel, make her friends hate him, and all of the ties would be cut. After his drunken chat with Adrienne’s close friend, Zach just hated himself. He couldn’t follow through with this plan. He was weak again. Go figure.

He had reported Rafe, hoping they would kick him out of the school. No student was capable of doing that to another student through some stupid prank. Maybe it would work. Maybe it wouldn’t. Zach would just have to wait and see. He expected to be disappointed, but that wasn’t anything new. Sighing, he tilted his head against the tree and stared at the sky. The air smelled like rain. He hoped it would rain soon.

A smile crossed his face; maybe he could convince Nico to help bring it sooner.

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foolintherain
2008-04-22 04:53 am UTC (link)

“Dude, I can’t believe you didn’t hear me coming!” Nico said suddenly as he plopped down next to Zach. He crossed his legs underneath him and glanced at his friend from the corner of his eyes. Zach looked like a little kid sitting there with his eyes cast toward the sky, thinking about something so hard that he didn’t even hear Nico approaching. It reminded him of home suddenly, of the times the two boys would go camping just to get away from it all. Family… school… people in general, anything that would cause undue stress for each of them.

They could always count on each other though despite the fact that their respective secrets kept them from being closer friends back home. It was different now with their powers revealed, but they were still close friends and learning to trust one another more with other things that plagued their minds. But Nico never knew how to approach issues that his friends might have. It wasn’t like he could come out and say ”Hey talk to me! Remember, sharing is caring!” That was too girly and there was no way in hell that Nico was going to do that. He’d have to grow some tits (huge ones) before he got that emo right off the bat.

Men never ask each other how they are feeling or if they want to talk about their feelings. The moment the question is asked is the moment you’ve caused that man to shut down for the remainder of day or week. Women often tear down the temporary wall that men put up with constant nagging about wanting to communicate. Men, however, choose to take the nonchalant approach, preferring to talk about other shit, or doing something fun until their friend just blurts out on their own about what’s on their mind. There is no nagging involved or ultimatums. No frustrations or teary eyes. There’s just freedom and the choice to talk when it felt right.

And so Nico did what Nico did best. He got Zach to his feet so they could go hiking through the forest before the rain hit them. Not that it would hit them anytime soon thanks to Nico’s powers, but even he can’t keep the raindrops at bay for that long. The forest smelled clean and fresh and the air regenerated Nico’s energies. Despite the fact that he was actually worried about Zach, Nico chose to keep his attitude uplifting and fun. There was no point in bringing his friend down even further than he already seemed.

“Dude… Loki and I are gonna fuck shit up in our dorm tomorrow,” Nico said in order to break the silence. “Nothing serious or malicious,” he assured Zach. “We’re just taking your idea and revamping it. By the way that was a good idea.” He prodded Zach in the arm with his elbow and laughed. “I knew I’d rub off on you one way or another.”

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coalintodiamond
2008-04-22 04:58 am UTC (link)

Jumbled thoughts and stress blocked out the crunching of leaves under Nico’s sneakers as the other guy roamed up the path towards their tree. Not until Nico spoke aloud beside him, settling down on the ground next to Zach, did he glance over and catch the sight of his friends joining him. “Hey,” Zach spoke up, reaching up with one of his hands to scratch the back of his head. He had been leaning it against the tree and it itched from the bark. “Nah, my head’s just kind of a mess right now.”

Nonchalant as expected. Zach was typical in how he wouldn’t talk about his feelings or anything really bothering him, not unless plenty of time had passed first or someone threatened an answer out of him. Even with his mother or his sister, answers didn’t come automatically despite his trust for them. It just took time or an inciting reaction to get him to say anything.

He trusted Nico, regardless of whether or not they shared big or important secrets in the past. When that was mentioned before shortly after Nico’s arrival, Zach was just having a bad day. He tended to do that, say mean things or lash out if he was experiencing a hard time. Zach contemplated if Nico wouldn’t mind Zach talking to him about a girl. After all, since when did Zach ever have feelings for a girl in the past when they knew each other? He hadn’t, so it was never a topic they had previously approached together. That was the only reason he was wary. Zach treaded ground carefully if something was new, and this was, well, frighteningly new in general. Since when did he think about relationships?

They weren’t sitting for long when Nico raised himself from his spot, and Zach got up as well to follow him. If he had any choice in it himself, he might’ve just stayed there on the ground beside the tree and done nothing. Doing nothing wouldn’t clear his head, though, and it wasn’t going to help him. Nico knew that, knew they had to move or Zach would be stuck there all day. Hiking solved the problem better than anything else that could be done at the moment. Nature was their haven, as much as for Nico as it was for Zach.

“Do you think it’s going to rain soon?” Zach asked before Nico had said anything. “Maybe you can help hurry it along. Today feels like a rainy day, anyway.” He breathed in the air, smelling the moisture that was building up. Yeah, it would rain eventually. Who know when, though? They had lapsed back into another silence after Nico answered him, which was broken by Nico’s exclamation of how him and Loki were going to “fuck shit up” in his dorm tomorrow.

“What?” Zach turned around to look at Nico, actually laughing at what his friend said. “Oh yeah, I was going to talk to you about what I said to Loki, but I don’t know. It sounded like a good idea earlier. Now that I’ve been thinking about it, I don’t really care if you guys do anything or not.” He shrugged, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. “What are you two planning on doing, then? Or is it a surprise now that you’ve changed it?”

Zach ambled along the path they were taking through the trees, the nudge of Nico’s elbow causing a smile to show up on his face. “You mean your diabolical pranking ways? I used to help you with some of those, if you remember. It hasn’t been that long,” Zach joked.

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foolintherain
2008-04-22 05:01 am UTC (link)

Nico hadn't been trying to sneak up on Zach at all. In fact he purposefully crunched on the leaves and fallen twigs in order to alert his friend of his presence. But his attempts were futile as Zach didn't even notice him until he actually spoke. He arched a brow at him and nodded when he said his head was a mess. Nico could understand that considering that Zach briefly mentioned over the journals what had happened to him.

But Nico wasn't going to talk about any of that up now, not until Zach brought it up himself. It wasn't that Nico minded talking about relationships or whatever it was on Zach's mind, he just didn't want to force the issue. While Nico wasn't an expert in relationships (never having been in a real one himself) he would be ready to give advice if he could, though Nico had a feeling that whatever had happened with Adrienne was pretty bad since Zach was acting so glum. Or maybe it only seemed bad because it was their first major fight. Nico didn't know and he wouldn't know until Zach spoke up.

"It probably won't rain until tonight," Nico said as he looked up at the sky. "But I'll try to make it start sooner." He shrugged though as he concentrated on the clouds that were gathering overhead. He could probably sway them to start emptying their contents at that moment leaving him and Zach to wander about in the rain. Nico didn't really mind that idea (and he was fairly certain that Zach didn't either) but the weather was still cold and Nico didn't want to freeze his ass off.

"It was a great idea!" Nico said with a smirk. His brown eyes sparked with sprightly energy and a hearty laugh emerged from his throat. He would want to keep it a surprise for Zach just so his friend could get a laugh out of it, but then again Zach was his best friend and he liked to share his ideas with him. "But instead of making it rain we're just going to make it muggy and shit, and it will REEK! Just be prepared for some unpleasant smells coming from my dormitory." He laughed out loud and smiled at Zach.

"Course I remember! Fuck dude, we pulled some great pranks back then. Remember when we grew mold in your brother's football helmet and left it under his bed over the summer? Oh shit, he was so pissed but it was funny as hell." He laughed harder and threw an arm around Zach's shoulders easily.

"Hey, anyone ever tell you you're the perfect height for an arm rest?"

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coalintodiamond
2008-04-22 05:29 am UTC (link)

Freezing their asses off right now wasn’t exactly what Zach meant, so hopefully Nico wouldn’t take it to heart to mean ‘make it rain right now.’ As much as Zach loved the rain sometimes, it was far too cold at the moment to enjoy a shower outside. A cold, dry hike invigorated much more than a wet, cold one. In fact, the latter would probably just make the both of them sick.

He smiled at Nico’s remark. It was one of those traits about Nico that made him such a good friend. He never made Zach feel bad about anything. Sure, he picked on him occasionally, but it was okay because Nico was his friend and it was all in fun and games. Zach knew his friends didn’t mean anything by it, so they could say anything and it would only make him laugh. People he didn’t know, however, were another matter altogether.

“Muggy and reeking?” Zach grinned in reply. “That sounds like a good plan. I figured letting it rain just long enough to make it mildewy and moldy would be nice. Mold is pretty nasty and reeky all on its own.” A laugh escaped him next as he realized the last thing Nico had said. “Unpleasant smells, though? That’s kinda funny. Sure it doesn’t have anything to do with the fishy ones there?”

They pulled a lot of pranks in those two years. Of course, it was only after Nico introduced Zach into the pranking world again. Zach used to play pranks with his brother until the fallout between him and Jared occurred, and he lost interest in it. Not until Nico came along did Zach rediscover his sense of humor in that area. Zach laughed at the memories. “Yeah, I remember that. He was pissed, but it was great. Worth it, man.”

A smirk crossed Zach’s face, and he nodded. “Plenty of times. I’m short. It comes with the territory. Just don’t use my head, or I’ll ninja kick your legs out from under you.” Yeah, that was just uncomfortable, but Zach couldn’t care less for people resting arms on his shoulders.

After they walked for a while, getting further along the worn path, Zach decided to speak up and talk to Nico about what was on his mind. Better now than never. Bottling things up inside never helped anyone. “Adrienne and I had a fight.” He already told Nico this, but it was good to start from the beginning to avoid confusion. “She . . . she asked a vampire to bite her.” Zach quickly turned to Nico before his friend could say anything. “I know you’re going to say something like ‘well, you did it too,’ but it’s different. The circumstances were different.”

Zach’s eyes glanced down at the earthy floor beneath their feet as they walked. “I know she can heal. She’s a werewolf. But . . . she asked someone to bite her, you know? She let him . . . drink from her, and she said she did it because she was curious and now her curiosity is satisfied? I mean, not only is that a really personal act, to let someone bite you and drink your blood, but to have curiosities that involve letting someone do that to you? I just . . . I feel like she wants him. She doesn’t want me. She wants some thrill with someone else because it’s exciting and dangerous.”

He was quiet for a moment. Finally, he looked upwards, but the canopy of leaves blocked his view. “I just feel like she betrayed me.”

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foolintherain
2008-04-22 05:33 am UTC (link)

Ah yes, if Nico was good for anything it was a laugh. It was just in his nature to pull pranks and play jokes on people. It was something he did as far back as he could remember, his first prank being on his parents when he thought it would be funny to toilet paper the inside of their house... The entire house. The memories were good to Nico and he enjoyed reminiscing on what he used to do (and sometimes he was inspired by them!) but now wasn't the time for that. No, this was time for serious Nico since Zach had a serious problem.

"She asked a vampire to bite her?" Nico almost laughed out loud at that statement shook his head. What was up with people asking to get bitten? He'd never do it, unless it was during sex and it was more along the lines of nibbling but that was an entirely different topic. He continued to listen to Zach rant about his girl and nodded when he thought it was appropriate. Boy, there were a lot of feelings to sort through but he'd do his best.

"Okay, so normally I'd say something like 'Fuck her, you don't need her. She's a bitch.' under any other circumstances. But these aren't exactly normal circumstances and I know you really like her so I'm not going to say that." He sighed and raked his hair with his fingers before he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his fleece. "Maybe she didn't think the bite was personal?" Nico said with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "I mean, I don't know what the hell she was thinking but if she wanted someone else, why did she tell you about it? Fuck dude, most girls that I've known have always just fucked around some guys back without saying a damn thing." He shrugged again and let out a heavy breath.

"I dunno... want me to beat her up for you?"

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coalintodiamond
2008-04-22 05:37 am UTC (link)

Zach looked down at the forest floor again, shrugging his shoulders. He hadn't thought she didn't see it that way, but it had still made him angry. It still drudged up these feelings he had been trying his best to get rid of, though it wasn't working. "I don't know," he said quietly. "Maybe she knows most girls just don't talk about it and thought that by mentioning it, she could make it look like it was between friends or something and it wasn't a big deal." Zach didn't know anything about how girls or guys usually acted in relationships. He knew what he usually saw, nothing more than that.

He actually couldn't stop the amused smile on his face at his friends offer to beat her up. Jokingly, of course. Nico would never beat up a girl. He might tackle them or be playful with them, but that was about it. "No," he said, still sort of laughing. "She'd take you down, anyway. Werewolf, and all."

They walked along the path. Zach was happy just to be out here with his friend, breathing in the fresh air. "I've been trying my best to just make these feelings go away. That's why I haven't been talking to her. I know if I do, I'll just snap. Then, she'll never talk to me again. Part of me wants that. Mostly, though, I don't . . . I don't want to lose . . . I don't know. Whatever it is that I have with her. I don't want to lose it, but I'm scared of not being able to be strong enough alone."

He wouldn't have told anyone else that, not out loud. Not in words. Adrienne made him happy in a way he hadn't experienced before, but Adrienne also made him feel weak. Like he couldn't make a decision on his own. He didn't feel like a strong individual. Without his friends or those he cared about, Zach would be so weak. His family wasn't here to protect him anymore, and everything hurt a thousand times more than it ever had before.

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foolintherain
2008-04-22 05:43 am UTC (link)

"Well she is a smart girl, so maybe?" Nico wasn't that much more experienced with girls considering that most of his relationships never lasted for more than a few weeks. Even the ones that managed to last for a month or more were never serious, at least not in Nico's mind. He never felt anything for any of those girls the way Zach described his feelings for Adrienne. But he would give the best advice he could without screwing things up for him. "But I really don't know, either. I mean she could've kept her mouth shut and not have said anything at all. Or maybe there's more to the story. Shit man, girls are complicated. Props to you for dealing with it."

He gave his friend a smile that showed he supported him no matter how the situation ended up. So when he said he would 'beat Adrienne up' he meant it but not literally (as Zach knew). But it was the gesture that was important between them not the act itself. It demonstrated that support that the two of them had for one another. Nico laughed heartily at Zach's statement about Adrienne taking him down.

"Oh man, I'd let her take me down. She's kinda hot, y'know." He nudged Zach again playfully when a thought entered his mind, something that he always wondered but never had the chance to ask until now. "Doesn't it scare you," he began, his brow furrowed slightly. "That's she's a Werewolf?" The idea of dating someone who could potentially kill him was kind of intimidating to Nico even though he never admitted it out loud. He wondered what his best friend thought of the whole thing.

Their walk was filled with moments that shifted between silence and conversation. Some of it light-hearted, some of it not so much. That was how it worked with guys normally - no one could be serious all the time; well, at least Nico couldn't. There had to be something there to lighten the mood or else he'd become one of those goth emo kids who liked to cut themselves when they were sad. No thank you, that wasn't Nico (or Zach's) style.

"I don't want to lose... I don't know. What it is I that I have with her. I don't want to lose it, but I'm scared of not being able to be strong enough alone."

And there it was - the root of what was bothering Zach. It wasn't that he didn't care about Adrienne; rather, it was because he was starting to care a lot for her. There were feelings invested in the girl that Zach was afraid of losing. Nico didn't know how to respond to what his friend said. The feelings that Zach felt were beyond anything that Nico ever felt in his entire life. His face contorted slightly as he thought of what to say, hoping that whatever it was would be good enough.

"You're one of the strongest people I know, Kit," Nico began, his voice relaying how sure he was of his statement. "You think you can't be alone without her, but maybe she's the one who can't be alone without you? Have you ever thought about that?" He shrugged slightly as a small grin tugged at the corner of his lips. "Alls I can say is this: If you don't want to lose her then you gotta talk to her eventually. Most girls don't like to be left hangin' forever because then they feel rejected or some shit. But if she was smart she'd wait around for you."

That was good advice, right? With an added statement at the end to boost Zach's confidence. Nico's dad had used that phrase with him a couple of times when girls broke up with him (before he could break up with them). It was the kind of phrase you put in a pep talk when you wanted someone to know just how fucking awesome they were. And Zach was fucking awesome; the greatest friend Nico had ever had, that was for damn sure.

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coalintodiamond
2008-04-22 05:47 am UTC (link)

“You’re right,” Zach said, shrugging his shoulders. “Girls are complicated. I don’t know. I just haven’t wanted to talk to her. She said it wasn’t a big deal, or she acted like it wasn’t.” His eyes spotted a particularly large rock, and he kicked it with his boot. It careened along the path in front of them, turning off and hitting the brush before stopping. “I wish it never happened.” Zach didn’t want it in his memory any longer.

He would have said something snarky in reply to Nico’s comment about letting Adrienne take him down, but the urge was replaced quickly after hearing his friend’s question. Zach’s hadn’t really thought about it on a deep level before. He knew that Adrienne was a werewolf, and it amused him once how he had made a mental note not to date any werewolves. Had he ever thought that she could kill him, though?

Zach shrugged again. It was becoming a popular gesture. “Adrienne only shifts during the full moon. You just . . . avoid her on the full moon. It’s not that difficult.” He had been far more wary of vampires in the beginning. After all, a vampire was a vampire all of the time. Even now, though, he grew accustomed to them. Werewolves were only werewolves on the full moon. It wasn’t a big deal, not to Zach.

“Maybe life would be easier if I had met another girl close to my age who was an alchemist like me,” Zach joked, glancing over at his friend to see his reaction. He looked forward again, focusing on their path. “Too bad alchemists are rare.” The only ones he was likely to find were older people like the one Taylor had mentioned to him. Lots of older ones were probably lingering around somewhere. He doubted there were many young ones.

“I am not strong,” he said to Nico, his voice just as adamant. “I was untouchable before I came here. I kept people away. That’s why I looked strong. Now, I make friends and like girls and it all blows up in my face. I should go back to the way I was and just not have to deal with this crap anymore.” Because he didn’t know how to deal with it.

“I could be alone without her, though,” Zach continued. “It would take time getting over, but I could. It’s not impossible. Besides,” he added, running on the train of thought Nico had brought up, “she did just fine before I came along. I don’t see how she couldn’t be alone without me now.” Same for Zach. It wasn’t like he couldn’t stand on his own two feet before, so why should that change now?

If he could only make up his mind on how he felt about Adrienne letting Rafe bite her, maybe he could finally come to a conclusion on what to do. As it was, he only knew what it kept coming back to: betrayal. “I don’t know what I want to do.” That was the truth, and right now it was the only thing Zach knew for sure.

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foolintherain
2008-04-22 05:50 am UTC (link)

Nico felt bad for Zach. His issues with Adrienne were something that Nico had no experience with despite all of his claims that he knew how girls worked. Really, Nico didn't have a clue about the inner workings of women or what a guy should do in this situation. He knew that if it were him, he'd just drop the girl without giving it another thought. But Zach wasn't like him at all, and Zach had feelings for Adrienne that Nico could never understand. And while a part of him wanted to tell Zach to walk away, another part thought that maybe this was worth working out.

"Yeah we all wish that we could take back something in our past," Nico said with a shrug. He watched as Zach kicked the rock down the path before he continued. "But it's happened and we can't do shit about it deal with it." Maybe it wasn't the most sympathetic answer, but it was the truth. Zach would have to deal with this in one way or another.

Nico didn't know much about werewolves other than what he learned from horror movies, so what Zach told him wasn't any surprise. It seemed a simple enough answer and Nico had no reason to not believe it. He nodded after Zach finished and cast his friend a smile. He would have said something but Zach went on to talk about meeting someone else and then being untouchable and how he could be alone with Adrienne. It was all coming at him at once and Nico had to keep it all straight in his head.

"Okay look," he finally said as he put a hand on Zach's shoulder to stop him from walking. He looked at his best friend sternly, a serious look that he didn't wear very often.

"You need to stop this shit about not being strong. Your whole life you've had to deal with your powers and having to hide them, and then you're sent here to deal with this shit and this place is something out of a sci-fi movie and you have to deal with this. And then you meet people and have to deal with people and fuck man," he scratched the back of his head quickly. "You don't think having to deal with all of that takes strength? Think again." He pushed Zach's shoulder lightly and shook his head. "You need to stop being so hard on yourself."

They continued to walk down the path, the air growing heavier with moisture and Nico could feel the rain wanting to come down. Why did it have to rain when he and Zach and important shit to talk about? Stupid clouds... it wouldn't rain as long as he was out there and Nico concentrated his powers to keep the storm at bay.

"As far as meeting other girls and being alone... I don't know what to tell you. There are tons of other girls out there, but you like Adrienne not any of them. So you meet someone else before Adrienne, doesn't mean you woulda liked them. I mean you musta met lots of other chicks before Adrienne came along, right?" He shrugged - the gesture that seemed to be the theme for their outing today - and sighed. "Everyone can be alone... but it takes courage to be with someone else. And before you say anything, those are my mom's words, not mine." He laughed and then shook his head. "But seriously dude, do you really want to be alone? I know I talk shit about just wanting to bang girls and whatevah, but you know... I wouldn't mind finding someone that I click with and wanted to be with for a while. I have to tell ya..." Nico paused and gave Zach a quirky little look. He was about to reveal something he'd never tell anyone else, but Zach was his best friend and he could tell him anything, right?

"I'm a little jealous of what you have... or think you have, or whatever. Point is... I'm jealous. Not like catty, bitchy jealous, but like 'I wish I had what you have' jealous."

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coalintodiamond
2008-04-22 05:56 am UTC (link)

The answer from his friend was true, Zach knew it was the truth, but it didn’t make it any less something that he didn’t want to hear. Zach wished he could change things and erase things, making certain things just go away forever, but he didn’t have that power and he wondered if anyone did. All of them could do something extraordinary, but no one had the ability to change time. Time was the one unconquerable element of the universe, receiving Zach’s scorn on multiple occasions of his life.

Why couldn’t he just change something and make it disappear forever like it never happened? Build the present up to be what it was today with his own choosing of events? Impossible, but not unwanted.

He hadn’t replied, mulling it all over in his head when Nico finally laid a hand on Zach’s shoulder and made him stop walking. Nico’s face was serious, and his ensuing rant at Zach for everything he was currently complaining about suddenly shrunk everything down to the size of a nutshell and made it digestible. Coupled with the light shove against his shoulder, Zach finally felt dumb for his complaints and wasn’t sure what to say. Nico was right, but it didn’t take away the feeling that Zach could handle this much better than he had been handling it.

Exuding the look of a puppy who had just been told-off for something, Zach cast his gaze downwards and followed his friend along the path again. The rustle of the wind in the trees and the smell on the air caused Zach to look up. It looked like it really wanted to rain. Maybe they should head back to the school soon just in case it did.

Nico began talking again, though, and this time Zach found himself nodding. “Yeah,” he said, because he had met many girls, but he hadn’t liked any of them that way. Well, there had been Katrina. Zach thought his like of her was a dead-end road, though, and it was Adrienne who showed him he could actually have something with somebody that wasn’t one-sided and asking for a potential doomy end if it did go anywhere. It was ridiculous for him to think about it, but . . . Zach wanted a family one day, didn’t he? He wanted to be a father and raise kids and . . . he’d never say it out loud. No respectable boy his age admitted something like that. The point was Katrina couldn’t have offered that. He reconciled it was pointless because she was a vampire and he was human and he didn’t want to be a vampire, and any relationship between them would have ended in doom.

Zach smiled at what Nico said were his mom’s words. His friend’s laugh lightened the darkness and lifted his spirits. Did he want to be alone? Not really. He’d always been alone. Zach just knew how to deal with being alone compared to being with someone. He knew what to expect and it was easy. Nico paused and looked over at Zach, a somewhat funny look on his face. Zach listened, though, choosing not to talk much this time. It was better when he didn’t talk.

I’m a little jealous of what you have. Normally, guys weren’t catty or bitchy jealous. It was like a joke Zach had heard once, but it didn’t seem to make it any less true. A guy saw a happy couple with a beautiful woman and thought: “I’d like to have a girl like that.” A girl saw a happy couple with a handsome man, though, and thought: “I have to have him.” He recalled witnessing plenty of events to back it up, too. His lips quirked into a smile, and he glanced over at Nico.

“She makes me happy,” Zach said, shrugging his shoulder very slightly. “I’m just . . . not sure if I make her happy. I mean, she wouldn’t have done it if she was happy, would she?”

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foolintherain
2008-04-22 06:03 am UTC (link)

Nico wouldn't have said those things if he didn't care. Granted, he was rough around the edges and said crude things and often only thought about fucking girls; but deep down, past all of the personas that he chose to portray was a guy who truly cared about his friends. Nico would never say it out loud, but he was a diamond in the rough.

It was hard to get Nico to be serious at times, but Zach had managed to do it. His constant complaints of not being strong or not being good enough were enough to make anyone crazy. Others might have let it slide with a simple "Awww you're not that." and then not given it a second thought, but not Nico. He knew that there were times that Zach needed things to be beaten into his head before he could accept them, and this was one of them.

Sure, he could have handled the situation better but who hasn't been in that position before. People constantly think back upon things and how they should have acted, or what they should have said. Shoulda woulda coulda - pointless words especially when you can't change the past. Gotta move forward - keep on truckin - and all that jazz. Life don't stop just because you decide to.

Nico listened to what Zach said about Adrienne and he could see that his friend really liked this girl. But girls were confusing as fuck and Nico, though only slightly more experienced than Zach, still had no clue what to tell him. He shrugged in response though and rubbed the back of his head.

"I dunno bro, people do dumb shit all the time. Has she ever said outright that you don't make her happy? I mean, I don't know her or anything but she don't seem like the type of chick who would stay with a dude if he didn't make her happy." He shrugged again. "But what do I know."

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FIN.

coalintodiamond
2008-04-22 06:08 am UTC (link)

His rants were enough to make anyone crazy. Too hard on himself and incapable of listening to anyone’s advice unless they hammered it into his head. Nico knew when to put his foot down, and Zach knew what that meant. Shut up and quit looking at the little details etched in the wood and take a look at the bigger picture. Missing the forest for the trees. It was a common fault of Zach’s, ignoring all of the bigger things that were more important for something small and insignificant that he tried to make sense out of and pinpoint all of the troubles onto in the end.

Life didn’t stop, but again, Zach was a person who focused so much attention on the details and not the bigger picture. He would make life stop sometimes in an effort to twist things backwards. A failure in the making, those actions, but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t try. They kept walking along the path, the way that life moved — forward, but if Zach could find a moment to stop . . . he would just stop. Eventually, someone would make him move again.

They kept walking. There was a split in the path that led further into the trees and another that led back to the school. Zach took the one back to the school as Nico followed, knowing they should go back inside soon. Rain would fall at any time, and Zach didn’t want to be caught in it. Nico could hold it back, but only for so long.

Zach nodded without saying anything. People did do dumb shit, but Zach didn’t know what to make of this particular situation. “I don’t know,” he said, staring at the dirt and fallen leaves and twigs at their feet as they walked. “You can like someone and yet be attracted to someone else at the same time. That’s what I worry, I guess.” He’d done that in the beginning, after all. Of course he’d worry about it now. “She can like me, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t . . . want Rafe in some way, too.”

As they headed back to the school, they talked a little further on the subject. Zach didn’t feel too eager to continue conversation with it, though, and Nico was trying his best to make the situation better, so it finally dropped. They just hung out and chatted about various random things as they were wont to do until the rain kicked in despite Nico’s willpower to hold it back. The friends rushed back inside the school laughing, halfway soaked but not at all bothered by it.

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