InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "It's the eye of the Tweakger!"

Zach Kitano (coalintodiamond) wrote in nosuchplace,
@ 2009-01-07 21:17:00

Entry tags:

logan nagamori, zach kitano

Sunday: November 4, 2007
Who: Zach and Logan
When: 11:15 PM
Where: Logan and Mitsuko's Cottage
What: Zach comes to check in on his friend.

Despite the funeral having come and gone, Zach thought it was best to give Logan his space for a little while. He didn't drop by Logan's place to see his friend yesterday because it felt like it was too soon, and maybe Logan wanted some time alone to himself. Zach hated to intrude on a person's alone time, especially after something like this happened, but he wanted to check in on Logan and make sure the other boy was alright. It wasn't everyday when then girl you liked turned up murdered in such a brutal way.

He had walked from his cottage to Logan's place, not wanting to take a horse since he needed the time in between to think. When he got there, he wasn't even sure anyone would answer the door. If Logan was against having company, Zach would find himself stuck outside in the light drizzle pouring down from the sky. There was no umbrella, but Zach had on a large, knee-length rainproof coat with a hood pulled over his head. His hands were crammed into his pockets, and his boots were thick and muddy from tracking through wet ground.

It wasn't long until he reached his destination, and Zach walked up to the door and rapped his knuckles against the wood. "Is anyone home?" Zach asked loudly. "It's me, Zach," he said, hoping most of all that Logan would be inside somewhere.

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dreammaster
2009-01-07 09:29 pm UTC (link)

Logan wanted time alone. That was all he wanted. Mitsuko had been trying to coax him out, entice him to go to Loki's party. He'd refused. Not with words. Oh, he hadn't spoken since he'd begged Dylan to cut Kaiya and Faye down. It wasn't like before. The words weren't sticking in his throat. He just didn't want to. Maybe if he didn't speak, he wouldn't get close to anyone. He felt he was cursed. Everyone he cared about died... Spent their last moments in agonizing pain and fear. He didn't want anyone else to go through that.

He hadn't slept. It had been days. He was used to going without sleep. But it had been a while since his insomnia had been this bad. He looked terrible, his hair mussed and dark circles beneath his eyes. His hands and face were covered in red paint-- the colour of blood. With the exception of the funeral, that was all he had been doing. Painting. Pouring his pain and grief into his work.

He heard the knock on the door. He couldn't ignore it. He was the only one in the house. Mitsuko was in her room, sleeping off a horrible hangover. He didn't want whoever was on the other side of the door to keep knocking and wake her up.

He had just reached the door when he heard Zach announce his presence. He went stock-still, hand poised over the doorknob. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to get any closer to the young man. He already considered Zach one of his best friends. He could bear to lose Zach or Mitsuko or Chris or Charlie. It was best that he stay away from them all.

But if he couldn't just leave Zach standing there, especially since it was raining. He finally took hold of the doorknob and opened the door. He looked out on his friend, his expression blank and empty, save for the haunted shadow in his eyes.

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coalintodiamond
2009-01-08 04:56 am UTC (link)

As the door opened shortly after his knock, Zach procured a small smile from underneath his hood for whoever opened it up. It turned out to be Logan himself at the doorway, and Zach's smile slowly slid off his face at the sight of his friend. Logan was covered in what looked like red paint, and there wasn't much of an expression to the hollowed face. He looked paler than usual, and there were circles under his eyes. Zach couldn't help the sad arch to his brow or the way his mouth drooped at the corners. It wasn't often he saw people like this, and it worried him.

"Hey," Zach said finally, looking beyond Logan's shoulder to the warm inside of the cottage. "May I come in?" he asked. Normally, Zach would have just walked right in, but Logan might have wanted to deny him entrance. If the other boy wasn't in a mood for talking, then Zach wasn't going to make him. He bit on his lower lip and waited for any kind of answer at all. Logan just had to nod his head in agreement or simply step aside and that would have been answer enough for Zach.

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dreammaster
2009-01-08 06:15 pm UTC (link)

Logan regarded Zach silently for a long moment. There was a concerned and saddened look in his friends eyes. He knew he simply couldn't dismiss him. He probably couldn't even get away with not speaking to him. That sent a shiver up Logan's spine. He was torn. Part of him wanted to keep this all inside, but another... He wondered if he could really get away with actually keeping quiet on all this, keeping it all inside.

Logan stepped out of the way and gestured with his hand for Zach to come inside. He turned and walked towards his room, gesturing for Zach to follow him. He didn't think Mitsuko would be up, it was probably best to go somewhere private to talk anyway.

Zach had never been in Logan's room before. In fact, save for Mitsuko, no one had been in Logan's room before. The walls were covered from top to bottom in sketches of people from Elysium. Zane, Theora, Zach, Shigeru, Mitsuko, Theora, Loki, Marley, Faye, Adrienne, Irei, Maddy, Charlie, Chris, Zach himself and Kaiya... There were so many pictures of Kaiya.

Leaning against the walls were several canvas along similar lines. More people he had met, were close to. Mitsuko, Chris and Kaiya primarily. Several paintings of the murdered fae were still wet. They were different from the older ones. Surrounded in deep red, an aura of violence and pain in each stroke.

Logan looked at Zach, arching a brow in question, wanting to know why his friend had come to see him.

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coalintodiamond
2009-01-12 09:31 pm UTC (link)

Zach followed Logan up the stairwell to his room on the second floor of their cottage, remaining quiet all the while. It seemed odd to speak when Logan wasn't speaking either. A part of Zach was adopting the behavior, if only because it felt more comfortable that way.

He hadn't ever been to Logan's room before, he realized, once he stepped past the threshold of the other boy's door. He paused upon his entrance, eyes glancing up and all over the walls and ceiling to take in all of the sketches that plastered Logan's wall in a haphazard manner. It looked like a hurricane passed through the area and only hit Logan's room, leaving all else untouched. He was struck by the sudden redness that met his eyes as he looked down one of the walls and caught sight of the painted canvases. They still gleamed with wetness, shining in whatever light was offered to them.

Zach's brow dipped at the outer corners of his eyes and rose in the middle of them, his mouth hanging open a little. He turned to look at Logan as if to ask what in the world were these things inside of his room. While he knew the other boy had a crush on Kaiya, he didn't know he had discovered the bodies.

"What is this?" he asked, raising one of his hand and pointing at the wet canvases. Why was it red, and what exactly did it mean? Zach never saw how the bodies were strung up, only heard from spoken words that two people were murdered.

It couldn't have been compared to seeing the actual aftermath with one's own eyes.

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dreammaster
2009-01-13 01:14 am UTC (link)

Logan was very protective of his room. Even Mitsuko hadn't come in much. It spoke of his deep loneliness, but each picture was of a person. It showed how desperate he was to become friendlier. As much as he was hurting from his losses, he wanted to be around people. He tried to protect himself, but at the same time robbed himself of that which he wanted most.

The paintings spoke of his deep sadness and loss. Of what he had seen in the hanging, dead bodies. They were not perfect representations... They were just the feelings Logan had felt at the sight.

Zach seemed surprised and saddened by the state of Logan, but the state of his room. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. If he was supposed to explain it or apologize or just shrug it off, as if it were nothing.

At the question of the paintings, Logan just stared at them. Into the red emptiness and the tiny, frail, unmoving form contained within. He was silent for a long time, just looking at the representation.

"She was so... Small," Logan finally rasped out. They were the first words he had spoken in days. He wasn't really speaking to Zach, more just letting the words spill from his lips. "She was always small, but she looked... Smaller. Broken. Empty." He cocked his head as he knelt down, touching his fingers to the canvas, paint covering fingers. "I was going to paint her... In person. Like a... Date. I was excited. I came early." He closed his eyes. "But still too late."

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coalintodiamond
2009-01-14 01:21 am UTC (link)

Zach remained quiet with each word that Logan spoke, turning to look at the canvases splashed with red paint as he realized Logan had found the women before the proper authorities took care of the situation. His mouth fell open further before he noticed and closed it, bringing a hand to his head to run his fingers through his hair. He wasn't sure what to say to Logan, only knew that his words probably wouldn't be good enough. Zach knew what it was like to lose someone close to him, but Logan had lost two people close to him. Now, after only just meeting a girl he liked, he found her murdered. It seemed like tragedy followed the boy around everywhere he went, and there weren't any words to properly soothe that feeling away.

He was beginning to think it was best for Logan to talk to someone who could properly restore Logan's faith in things, and maybe Zach wasn't that person. He knelt down beside Logan, folding his hands in front of himself. "I have a friend," he said softly, afraid that if he spoke too loud he would scare Logan, "an old friend who's capable of some pretty awesome stuff. I think . . . it would be good for you to meet her. You don't even have to talk to her or anything like that. But I would like to take you to meet her." Zach turned to look at Logan. "If you'd let me . . . Logan."

For some reason, Zach thought saying Logan's name might help bring the other boy back to reality. People responded more readily to their names more than anything else. From what Zach had seen or heard of, anyway. He swallowed past a lump in his throat, glancing back up at the canvases. "I think it would be good for you. She has this . . . light. It sort of flows through everything. I know that sounds cheesy, but if you met her, you'd know what I mean."

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dreammaster
2009-01-14 07:33 pm UTC (link)

Since coming to Elysium, Zach had been the one Logan had been able to confide in. As much as he loved his sister, Logan had only started speaking to her out of necessity-- because Chris was in danger. It felt somehow easier to confide in him about his discovery of the bodies. Mitsuko knew about it, of course, the Council had told her. But she was authority, as much as she wanted to deny it. She wanted him to talk to a psychologist, make sure he was all right, be a proper guardian. But he knew Zach would just be there for him, be the friend he needed.

Logan cocked his head curiously at Zach's mention of having a friend. Of course he had a friend. He had lots of friends. Nico, Adrienne....

Then as he continued, Logan stumbled backwards. He shook his head, eyes going wide. "I can't," he whispered desperately.

"Isn't what I've done enough?" Logan asked. "It might be too late for you, we're too close now, but..." He shook his head frantically. "I can't meet anyone else! I'll curse them too."

He looked down, ashamed. "Everyone I care about dies horribly. I can't let that happen to anyone else. I can't... I have to be alone. You shouldn't even be here now." He looked honestly and truly scared by the possibility he was cursed. "If I were to meet anyone new and like them... What if.... I can't..."

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coalintodiamond
2009-01-15 12:46 pm UTC (link)

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Zach found the corner of his lip quirking upward as Logan basically said he was cursed. Zach shook his head. "Nothing is going to happen to me," he said as softly as possible, and he wanted to say Logan wasn't cursed, but maybe there was a more delicate way to handle it all.

"Besides," Zach continued, "she's the kind of person who could remove a curse, even if you did have one. She can't get hurt because of one, so . . . you wouldn't have to worry about that. She's curse-proof. Me, I'm not so sure, but maybe if we go together we can make sure she gets rid of it for good." It was almost like talking to someone who was a child, the way Logan had retreated into himself. Zach told himself to speak to Logan like he spoke to Alicia when she was younger. There wasn't that big of an age gap, but Alicia used to be scared easily when she was a child.

Zach sighed to himself, the breath coming out in a slow exhalation. He tried to think of how to answer Logan. It caused a hitch in his throat, to remember the death of his brother, but he tried to speak past it. "You lost your father because of the war," he said softly. "I lost my brother because of the virus. That's not a curse. Everyone lost someone, or a lot of people, because of Pandora. The virus, the war . . . those things were connected. You weren't the only person who lost someone." His voice trailed off for moment. It was the truth, and Logan needed to hear it.

"And Kaiya . . . she died because there's a killer out there. She didn't die from a curse. There's a killer out there that needs to be caught, and people are working on that now. But you can't . . . put the blame where it doesn't belong. There are cruel people in the world, and sometimes innocent people people suffer. And you need to realize that. It isn't you." Zach's voice had remained soft the entire time, never patronizing, just honest. Hopefully, at least some of it would get through to Logan.

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dreammaster
2009-01-15 10:38 pm UTC (link)

The rational part of Logan's mind knew there was no such thing as a curse. At least this kind of curse. The concept was utterly ridiculous. But it seemed the more things happened, as the darkness seemed to creep in closer, the rational part of Logan's mind lost its purchase to grief and regret. There was the briefest ghost of a smile at Zach's assurance nothing was going to happen to him. Logan desperately wanted to believe that.

"Who is this person?" Logan asked quietly. He was still unsure of meeting new people. He had been even before Kaiya's death. This just compounded it. "You know, I probably won't say anything if we go to see her..." He looked down. "I still... It's still hard to do that."

He listened to Zach, nodding with each statement the other boy made. He knew Zach was right and that Logan was being more than a little selfish in his feelings. But he thought Elysium was supposed to be safe. That the people he met and loved here weren't supposed to be hurt. It was haven.

"If I find out who did this...." Logan said softly. He narrowed his gaze on a canvas in the very corner of his room, hidden slightly by the others. It was covered in nothing but the deepest of red paint, heavily laid on. Still wet, it oozed down towards the floor, like blood. The canvas had been angrily slashed around the middle. The empty, sad look in Logan's eyes had a slightly dangerous glint to it. "They won't have time to catch him." He knew, deep down, he wasn't strong enough to take anyone out. He would most likely be killed if he tried to confront Kaiya and Faye's murder. But that wouldn't stop him.

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coalintodiamond
2009-01-19 12:59 am UTC (link)

"Her name is Theora," Zach said with a smile. He shook his head in order to reassure his friend with his next words. "You don't have to talk to her if you don't want to. Just promise me you'll agree to meet her if I take you there?" Zach was sure Logan wouldn't have to speak to Theora, and the Elven priestess would know without having to ask that something was wrong with Logan.

Zach wasn't sure if he was capable of helping Logan as much as Theora could help him. He knew he could be there for Logan, and he would be for as long as Logan needed him. Sometimes words weren't enough to help someone feeling the way Logan was, though, and something more than words were needed to make things better. Zach thought Theora was the person to ask, or at the very least the person to meet.

He understood how Logan felt about whoever did this to Kaiya. Logan had a right to express his feelings about it, and Zach wasn't going to tell him not to do that. He could understand the temporary feeling of wanting to get revenge, and it was only something natural for the other boy to feel. He sighed lightly and turned to look at the canvases as well. Zach felt Theora would be a better help than him when it came to something like this; he had never dealt with it and didn't really know what to do. Even though he understood, he felt he didn't really know how it felt to be in the shoes Logan was in right now.

He was going to help his friend, though, and he felt he knew the best way to do that.

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~FIN~

dreammaster
2009-01-19 01:33 am UTC (link)

Despite his heavy heart, Logan couldn't help by smile at the mention of the beautiful Elven priestess. He understood was Zach was saying now. How Theora would make things feel better. Theora was there when his father had died, had comforted him and brought him to Elysium. He went to the wall covered in pictures. He pulled one off and held it out to Zach. "Theora." He held out the picture to Zach. "She's nice." It seemed like such a poor description of the gentle lady.

Looking at Zach, Logan's expression had finally changed from hollow to sad, but grateful. As difficult as things were, he had people who cared about him. Zach, Mitsuko, Chris, Charlie... As much as he feared a curse, he couldn't let go of them for anything in the world. He needed them in his life desperately. "Thank you," Logan said quietly.

He sat down on the edge of his bed. "It means a lot.... You coming over here." The huge weight that had been on his shoulders wasn't gone... But it felt like it had lightened slightly. He let out a yawn and laid back on the bed. Days of insomnia were finally catching up to him. Comforted slightly by his talk with Zach, Logan fell into the first sleep he had allowed himself since finding the bodies.

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