InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Express yourself!"

... (forlornfae) wrote in nosuchplace,
@ 2008-09-15 08:45:00

Entry tags:

kaiya sato, leon saunders

Sunday: September 30, 2007
Who: Kaiya and Leon
When: Dinner time
Where: The Restaurant
What: Kaiya cries over her dinner, and Leon can't help but notice

It had been a week since Kaiya had seen, or heard from Hayate. A week, seven whole days, ten-thousand and eight minutes, and entirely too long in Kaiya's opinion. She had wanted to see him again, wanted to spend more time with him, wanted to have sex with him again. Sex meant acceptance to the young fae though she and Hayate hadn't had sex since that first time they shared a bed. It worried Kaiya that they hadn't, and she feared that she had fallen out of his favor.

It was such a big worry for the fae that she couldn't even enjoy the dinner she had ordered at the restaurant. She sat there with her pasta dish in front of her, untouched and uneaten. Her hands were folded in her lap, and her eyes were cast down onto the table. She had begun to cry. Soft, silent tears that streamed down her cheeks only to drop off at the edge of her chin. She sniffled, pulling the napkin from the table to dab at her eyes gently. But her tears wouldn't stop flowing.

The more she thought about Hayate, the more she wept. Kaiya feared that she had been used by Hayate like she had been used in the past by all of the other men who came to her bed. She was an object to them, something that they used to relieve all of their frustrations upon, sexual or otherwise. Kaiya had hoped that things would be different with Hayate; after all, Elysium was a new beginning for her.

Still, she cried harder now than before. She was sobbing loudly, and the wooden table was becoming spattered with her tear drops. Kaiya pushed her food away, and rested her head against her forearm. She felt terrible, and it didn't matter that she was causing a scene in the middle of the restaurant.

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lionsden
2008-09-16 12:48 am UTC (link)

Leon’s intentions were simply to visit the bakery for some bread when the aroma from the restaurant managed to lure him inside. He sat quietly eating bread and vegetable soup when a young woman came in, sobbing loudly. First he tried his best not to let that feeling in his chest and gut get to him. Leave her alone he told himself. The restaurant was quite occupied as far as customers. It was packed with employees too and they were staring in ways that were hardly kind. Also he suspected they were whispering and speculating. Leon drew an employee towards him and brought their ear close to him. “What’s the matter?” He asked cautiously. The employee shrugged with an almost rude nature and continued on with working and watching.

Finally, Leon got to his feet and cautiously sat beside her. He moved the chair so his body somewhat granted her privacy if she wished to talk. “Are you okay?” He asked in a whisper. He took a handkerchief out from his back pocket and offered it to her. “Here, take this.”

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forlornfae
2008-09-16 12:35 pm UTC (link)

Kaiya heard the whispers, and she felt the stares. They were anything but kind, but she did not care. She was used to such looks having been on the receiving end of them when she used to work at the brothels. The other girls had always been jealous of her because customers liked her so much; it was their jealousy that prompted them to harm her physically. Though people spoke unkind words about her in this place, they would never bring her harm. It was the one thing that brought the girl solace. Still, she sniffled and cried, ignoring the food that was in front of her, and everything and everyone else in the restaurant.

That is, until the stranger approached her. She looked up at him, eyes red from crying, and cheeks damp from the tears. She sniffled again, and watched him carefully as he spoke. His voice was kind, as was his face, and Kaiya did not feel apprehensive to talk to him. She nodded in answer to his first question, and slowly reached out a delicate hand to take the offered handkerchief. "Arigatou..." she muttered softly before she caught herself. "Ano... I mean... thank you." She bowed her head at the kind man, and tried to smile at him. Kaiya pressed the soft cloth to her eyes and face, wiping away the tears that had begun to subside.

"I am fine," she said slowly, enunciating the words so that she wouldn't mispronounce them. "Thank you for..." she looked at the handkerchief, knowing what the word was in Japanese, but finding herself at a loss when it came to the English term. "Ano... cloth?" It was probably wrong, but at least she tried.

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lionsden
2008-09-16 05:59 pm UTC (link)

It didn’t take long for Leon to understand that the stranger’s first language was not English and that was okay. Communication wasn’t always limited to speech. Body language gave a whole lot of information. She was upset. She wasn’t okay like she claimed to be. He wouldn’t pry for what was the matter but that wouldn’t mean that he would simply get up from where he was sitting and leave her to try and recover from her fit of crying. He would stay until she requested him to leave. Either that or he would wait until she showed signs of truly feeling better.

Leon smiled in regards to her thanks for the handkerchief. “You’re welcome.” The Therianthrope noticed her wings from the corner of his eyes and though he was struck both by the reality and iridescence of them, he didn’t say anything. He wondered if her wings didn’t shine as brightly when she was saddened.

After a few moments of silence he spoke to her slowly and softly once again trying to let her know he was there to help. “Are you sure that you’re really okay? Do you at least want some water? Or do you want to get out of here?” Maybe if she knew a name and didn’t see him as some stranger, it would help. “My name is Leon.”

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forlornfae
2008-09-17 05:19 pm UTC (link)

Kaiya was still in the midst of learning to speak English. Her sentences were often mixes of Japanese and English together, but so far no one had had trouble understanding her. The fae was grateful that Leon had stopped by to ask if she was all right; everyone else in the restaurant had ignored her and left her to her own devices. Kaiya almost thought that nobody cared about her, but then Leon offered his handkerchief, and her faith in the citizenry of Elysium was restored.

How astute of the therianthrope to notice her wings, and the lack of luster within them. When she was sad her wings displayed it by drooping upon her back, and losing all of their shine and sparkle. She smiled at the kind stranger, and listened carefully to his questions. She understood him completely, and she thought of the best way to answer him. Kaiya took a deep breath, and reached for her glass of water. She supposed that she did need some water, after all.

"Leon-san," she said using the Japanese honorific. She put her hand on her chest to indicate herself, and spoke. "Kaiya. My name is Kaiya." She wiped at her tears with the back of her hand, and sniffled quietly. The fae looked around the restaurant, and noticed that most of the people were no longer paying attention to her. Despite that she didn't want to stay and eat her food. At the same time, she didn't want to bother the kind man with her troubles.

"I am sorry, Leon-san," she said with a downward gaze. "I have caused trouble for you, and you have not -" she paused. "Eated?" Was that the proper word tense? Kaiya was not sure, but hopefully it was enough that Leon could understand her.

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lionsden
2008-09-18 05:55 pm UTC (link)

Leon found it intriguing that despite the fact she was in a state of deep sadness, she was still highly respectful towards him. He found himself lightly questioning if she felt obligated to always be formal, always be kind no matter her state. Did she always feel like she had to put herself before others? Of course it wasn’t his right to question the assumption. He would just have to wonder.

“Kaiya..” He repeated. “That’s a very beautiful name.” Internal questions and comments always ran through his mind, but he felt like it blurred the lines between professional or anything else besides. He always worried about where he stood, especially in these situations. But he wanted to tell her the name was flattering to her own beauty and that he wondered what her name meant. Of course, he said nothing regarding his thoughts.

He frowned lightly when Kaiya thought she was some sort of trouble for Leon. “No, no. You are not a trouble.” He told her with deep sympathy and truth to his voice. “As far as eating, trust me. I am not all that hungry. It was my nose that brought me here, not my stomach.”

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forlornfae
2008-09-18 09:59 pm UTC (link)

It had been ingrained in Kaiya since she was a very young fae to always be polite, and formal. It was the Japanese way, after all, and Kaiya was not one to break tradition. Leon was a kind man, but he was still a stranger, and she had to show him some respect. She kept her head at a slight bow, her eyes never quite making permanent contact with Leon's.

She blushed when he complimented her name, and she managed to smile despite her blurry eyes. "Thank you," she said slowly. "Leon is very beautiful, too." Kaiya wasn't sure if it was appropriate to call a man's name 'beautiful', but she wanted to return the compliment, and so she repeated his words. Hopefully, he would understand her meaning. Still, she worried that she was a burden to him, and she did not wish to be.

His words comforted her, though, and she found herself smiling again at his explanation. She managed to understand what he was saying (or at least the gist of it) by paying careful attention to his words. He was not hungry, and had only come in because it smelled good. She nodded at Leon, and stood up from her chair. "Would you..." she paused, biting the inside of her cheek as she thought of the words she needed to say. However, it was taking her far too long to think of the proper vocabulary. She reached for the bag that had been dangling on the back of her chair, and pulled out the dictionary. Kaiya flipped through it quickly, and only finished her sentence after she found the correct words.

"Leon-san, would you be liking to walk with me? Outside? Please?" She added the please because she had been taught that it was polite. On top of that, she bowed her head to him as well. It never hurt to show others respect, she thought.

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omgggg so sorry :( to awesome for my slowness

lionsden
2008-09-24 01:44 am UTC (link)

Leon knew few words in Japanese and when he heard her compliment his name it was only fitting he put one of those words to use. So with a grateful nodded he spoke a gentle “Arigato.” That was it though, he maybe knew three other words thanks to going to a few Japanese cuisine restaurants.

It gave him great comfort to know that she managed to smile. Glancing down he smiled as well, separating the silverware idly and then set his hands in his lap. When she stood on her feet he suspected that she was comforted enough to want to go back to her residence. But it appeared she was searching for the right words to request a walk with her. Leon stood from the table and nodded in confirmation. “I would love to.” The therianthrope nodded his head in a polite gesture as he allowed her to walk ahead of him, then walked beside her. “Where would you like to go?”

He wondered if there was a place in town or anywhere that made her feel at peace. Or if just walking in general made her feel better. Either way, he would be happy to accompany her, silently or not.

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no no, it's okay! *hugs*

forlornfae
2008-09-25 08:21 pm UTC (link)

Kaiya led Leon outside of the restaurant, and away from the prying eyes of the other patrons. Despite the fact that they were glaring at her in disdain, they were also curiously trying to listen in on her conversation with Leon. They wanted to know what had put her in such a devastating state, and if it was a good enough story to share with others. Kaiya was used to it, but that did not mean that she liked it.

The air was clean and fresh, much better than the stifling air inside of the restaurant. The fae took a deep breath, her wings fluttering behind her quickly. If anything was evidence of her improved mood it was that. But she was not one-hundred percent better yet. No, there was still something plaguing her mind, and she wondered if she could talk about it with Leon. He was a veritable stranger to her, and she was not sure if she was comfortable enough to divulge such information to him. Though, he was kind enough to ask her if she was okay, and he was even escorting her outside. Perhaps it would be okay to talk with him, even just a little bit.

"I am feeling," she said slowly as they walked along the path around the market place. "Bery Bery Sad. Ano..." she bit down on her lower lip again. "Because of... boy."

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*hugs and bows* sorry x 2342727

lionsden
2008-10-03 05:20 pm UTC (link)

Sometimes people felt like their comfort zones were violated when in condensed spaces, so sometimes Leon would walk outside with his patients to get a sense of freedom, to get a sense of privacy though back where he practiced he always feared intrusive ears may listen in. But he learned that if his patients felt comfortable, that was all that mattered. Of course, Kaiya wasn't some patient. He viewed her as a friend and someone who could easily come to him as a source to talk to. Or just a friend with no labels attached afterwards.

Leon wouldn't rush her words though he was highly concerned. What eased his natural, but in this case genuine concern was concentrating on his footsteps to make sure he didn't seem to be too eager to know what was wrong with Kaiya or what was shuffling through her mind to upset her. But when she revealed to him that it was a boy causing her troubles he was caught between giving a relieved smile and giving a concerned frown. Was it just the normal misunderstandings that people are unfortunate to have to cope with,or was it more serious?

He made sure to stay exactly in the fae's stride as he gently questioned her, nothing to intrusive. "Did he hurt your feelings?" It was hard to talk about sensitive subjects like affection. "Did something happen between the two of you?"

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it's okay! <3 *hugs*

forlornfae
2008-10-07 01:11 am UTC (link)

Perhaps a relationship problem was a small matter to others in the haven, but for someone like Kaiya, who had been through so much in her life, it was a big deal. It was an important step forward for the fae, a step that proved to herself that she was really worth something. That her life meant more than her past as a prostitute in a brothel; that she had meaning in this world other than to be someone else's punching bag. If she could have a successful relationship with someone, and have that someone accept her as she was - well, that would have meant more than anything to Kaiya.

But as it was going it seemed that she wouldn't get that chance with Hayate, not if he hadn't contacted her in over a week. Kaiya glanced over at Leon, smiling as she did and finding herself very lucky in that moment. Not many would have interrupted their own plans to help a crying fae. He as very kind, at least from what she could tell.

The fact of the matter was, however, was that Kaiya did not know how to do with the feelings in her heart, or the situation at hand. She was inexperienced despite the fact that she was 43 years old. Most people would have had at least one or two successful relationships in their life, but Kaiya didn't have any. It was her curse, and it seemed as if she were paying for it now.

"He is not talking with Kaiya for many days," she began to explain to Leon with a downtrodden look upon her face. "Kaiya is not knowing where he live, so Kaiya must waiting for him to visit." She sighed out loud, pushing some hair away from her face. "It is making Kaiya bery sad."

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lionsden
2008-10-07 04:32 pm UTC (link)

Leon would have been very surprised if he had learned the fae's age. In his eyes, Kaiya looked barely into her twenties. Since he was not familiar with the ways and the workings of the various species, he had no idea that her aging was much slower than his own. Of course it wouldn't change any opinion he had on the matter. People could be almost a hundred and still feel like Kaiya about the situation. In Leon's eyes at least there was nothing wrong with that. Not everyone was built with iron skin. Feeling rejected was one of the worst things one could try and cope with alone.

He couldn't help but to be saddened when she spoke further into the situation. Naturally dozens of thoughts came through his head. What Leon saw the most in Kaiya was that she was...delicate. Someone like Leon who would never harm Kaiya saw it so he worried about how others would react to it. He also worried about how eager Kaiya was to please people...and..this boy. It concerned him what this boy may be like. Maybe he was afraid of commitment and that's what he could tell her. But he wasn't one for going to the lying route. He could evade being negative or making her upset...but he just couldn't bring himself to lie.

"Do you think he's the type that gets scared when he finds out he likes someone?" Leon asked carefully. "Some people react differently..when they discover they like someone." What he wanted to tell her was to make sure she wasn't trying too hard to get this boy to like her. He would have hated for Kaiya to have encountered someone who came and left...who used her. It would just sicken Leon to think someone would use someone like Kaiya. Sadly in his profession he saw it everyday.

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forlornfae
2008-10-08 02:52 am UTC (link)

Kaiya lived her life in the shadow of rejection. From the moment she had been stolen from her family all she had felt was rejection. The family that had stolen her had abused her, and treated her like a freak. Her wings had become the bane of her existence as they earned the scorn of her foster father. Physical and sexual abuse was all that man had ever given her, until the moment he had sold her to a brothel. And there she was used for her body in the worst way. If Kaiya longed to please people, it was only because she didn't want to go back to that way of life. She needed to feel accepted, and some sense of love that she lacked as a child and adult.

The Japanese fae did want to please Hayate if only because she felt that he liked her, and she didn't want to lose that. But not having seen Hayate for a week made the girl uneasy, as if Hayate had suddenly grown bored with her after they had slept together. It caused her stomach to twist and turn in uncomfortable ways. She wanted everything to be okay with Hayate, and she would do anything to keep it that way. She looked over at Leon as he spoke, translating the words in her head.

"I... do not know," she said in reply, her hands wringing together. "He is bery... far away?" She was trying to say 'distant' but the English word escaped her at that moment. "Kaiya likes Hayate, ano... I am missing to see him. Is Kaiya," she placed her hand on her chest to indicate herself. "Is Kaiya thinking too much? Maybe?" She wanted to ask if she was just misunderstanding Hayate, but she didn't know the words to explain it. She hoped that Leon understood what she was saying since she was enjoying her conversation with the therianthrope.

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lionsden
2008-10-18 10:44 pm UTC (link)

Leon was very used to body language so he looked at Kaiya intently while she spoke; made sure to pay close attention to every bit of body language she gave to him since her English was limited. But she was doing better than she probably gave herself credit for. He wanted to tell her later that her English both through speech and how she worked with the amount she knew was actually very impressive. Her way of movement helped him very much. In his case with a foreign language his eyes and hand movements could make him seem like he was talking about something altogether different.

So luckily, he understood that Hayate was distant. He understood that maybe she was over analyzing the situation. He did it himself all the time. There was only one thing to tell her and in his mind it was the truth. He wasn’t saying it to be harsh and he wasn’t saying it as a Psychologist. It was like strict, but incredibly friendly advice from a good friend. Or if she would prefer it an adviser since in Leon’s mind he still considered himself older. He wasn’t one to claim so, but he felt like Kaiya had a lot to learn, especially in this case.

“He isn’t worth it..” His voice was soft when he said this, terribly so. “I know you like him..very much.” He made sure to give the softest expression he could muster. It was like dealing with people who dealt with potentially toxic situations. Not that he was informed on what was going on because she couldn’t explain it in her native language. or perhaps there was more to it. Plus, Leon didn't know this stranger of a man. She just seemed so terribly upset, he would hate for it to escalate.

“But..if you feel like..someone can make you happy…” His voice maintained a genuine sign of showing he was trying to be nothing but helpful and caring. He didn’t know Kaiya much, but he already worried about her.

“Then..you shouldn’t be crying..right?”

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Fin.

forlornfae
2008-10-20 02:34 pm UTC (link)

Kaiya looked at Leon, her eyes revealing the sadness that her limited words tried to express. If only this man knew of her past he might understand why she clung to the relationships she formed. She was afraid of history repeating itself, of being used only for her body and never truly knowing love or acceptance from anyone. Yes, Kaiya did have a lot to learn, but her fear of failure often held her back.

Leon's words hurt Kaiya though she didn't show it. She understood that he was only trying to help. She also understood that what he said was probably true - a part of Kaiya wondered if Hayate truly was worth it. If he cared about her as much as he did, then why did he leave her with so many questions all the time? If he truly cared she wouldn't have to wonder about his feelings for her. But these thoughts riddled the fae's mind, and they began to hurt her more and more.

Her only way out was to change the subject, and so she smiled brightly at Leon and nodded. "Hai," she said, reverting back to Japanese for a moment. "I am stop crying now." She wiped her tears, and slowly came to a stop in front of Leon. She bowed her head before him. "Arigatou, Leon-san," she said with a smile. "Thank you." She added for reiteration. Kaiya hovered above the ground a few inches, her dust sprinkling around her as she flew close to Leon. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, and smiled.

Leon was a very nice man in Kaiya's opinion, and she hoped she would get the chance to spend more time with him in the future. Maybe then she would be happier and without tears in her eyes.

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