"They ain't just for me," she said quietly. The walls, keeping people away was as much for other people's protection as it was for self preservation. The less she let people in the better their chances of getting away from her unscathed, whether it be physically or emotionally. Rogue believed she ruined everything she touched. It was just a matter of time. She let her hand drop and looked up at Logan once more. Other than Bobby, which had been a completely different story, no one had wanted to be this close to her. No had ever pursued her like this. And even if it wasn't the romantic way every girl dreamed of, it felt good to know there was a man who cared about her the way Logan did. "It's been a long time since I had someone to open up to. I got used to keepin' everythin' in check an' givin' as little of myself as I could get away with. Think I just gotta learn how to be around you again. You offer freedom an'...freedom scares me."
She couldn't help but snicker at his comment and it felt good to smile. "Trust me, that's the last place you wanna be." He'd be able to read her blush, the way her pulse quickened even slightly, and the fact that there was no way to hide it made it even worse. She hid a nervous laugh behind her hands, thankful if he pressed her that she could play it off as thinking about Remy or even make up someone else who'd been the object of affection for another person in her head. As her hands fell back to the covers, her smile stayed in place. "Okay, maybe I wanted to make him a little jealous. I was kinda hopin' you'd be jealous of him, too. I know...long shot." She wouldn't lie, it felt kinda nice to see Bobby get all worked up around Logan. It let her know he really did like her.
She knew she could drive a man crazy, more than any woman she knew because touching was not in the game. Working where she did for so long, she became pretty skilled in the ways of working a man up, manipulating and teasing. Touching hadn't been an issue then, but she'd still acted as though it were for a good long while. She wasn't called a tease back home for nothing. Still, her smile faltered slightly. "Thanks, Logan. I know openin' up ain't really your thing either. It's why I appreciate you bein' here. I don't think I've ever really felt closer to anyone."
Sometimes it felt like Rogue was more alone than anyone else on earth, and she'd usually think of Logan in those times. She'd been able to feel his feelings, know he felt that way too, far more times than Rogue had felt herself. And even when they'd been so far apart, it helped her feel a little bit less alone. No one ever got her the way Logan did, either. Theirs was a unique relationship and she loved knowing no matter who came into his life, her place in it would always be assured. "Perfect, huh? Nobody's ever said that about me unless they were drunk or tryin' to get laid." She raised an eyebrow playfully.
His sad smile at her had her instinctively reaching for his hand, but stopping halfway there. "I'll always be here, Logan. I know it ain't the same, but..." She trailed off fighting the wave of self-hatred that washed over her at not being able to just hold Logan's hand for comfort. Yeah, they could touch for a few seconds but she wanted more. She looked down, frustrated. After a moment she asked, "Did you see any cars outside?" Her downstairs neighbor was often gone overnight for work and she wondered if she was home now.