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Iestyn Ceredig ([info]piu_fermata) wrote in [info]nevermore_logs,
@ 2021-01-22 02:05:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: confused
Entry tags:henry claus, iestyn ceredig

WHO Iestyn and Henry
WHEN Thursday evening
WHERE Henry's place
WHAT talking over things
WARNINGS talk about bad ethical practices



Iestyn decided, for once, that he wasn't going to bring a basket of food from his dad as a gift, he was going to buy burgers and donuts and the same coffees they'd had the day of the Puking Incident. He was going to buy them with his own money and they would eat them and talk and it would be great. Just great.

He knocked on Henry's door and waited. The need to talk to someone who wasn't related had grown in him since the weekend, his doubts eating at him as everyone out fussed over his sister (not that she didn't both deserve and need it.) He kept thinking about his appointment time tomorrow and wondering if he should still go, if only to explain...



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[info]philosophos
2021-01-21 09:37 pm UTC (link)
While Henry had been putting more of an effort in lately, he was still at home today. He was swearing track pants and an oversized black sweatshirt. His hair wasn't styled, instead sitting in a curly mess atop his head. Sure the difference between BT (before Tinsel) and AT (after Tinsel) was that now he had only been wearing the clothes today, and he had showered that morning. And the morning before that. And everyday.

Having his sister here really was the motivation he had needed.

Iestyn too Henry found himself thinking about Iestyn a lot. About his sweet friend who had endured such awful things and come out the other side just as lovely. Or at least he assumed, he hadn't known Iestyn BL (before Lucifer). If Iestyn could get through that, Henry could get a job that wasn't slinging coffee for the corporate shills he claimed to hate so much. Of course to do that he needed skills. And so Henry had been looking into universities and courses all day.

He opened the door to Iestyn, adjusting his glasses and then grinning. "Hello! Come in, come in. Oh my god, coffee, you hero you!" he said, noticing the Starbucks.

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-22 12:48 am UTC (link)
"Hi!" Iestyn grinned and held up the cup for Henry to take. "I also have burgers, and donuts for afters. All the junk food! I didn't know what you like so I got a barbeque bacon thing for us both. Dad is vegetarian so I like to go all meat sometimes. How've you been?" He asked, stepping inside and going to the nearest table so he could set things down and then take his coat off. "Its lovely and warm in here."

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-22 12:52 am UTC (link)
"That sounds amazing!" Henry said, grabbing the cup and leading Iestyn into the lounge room. "Welcome to my home, sorry for the Christmas shit" There was always something Christmassy in a Claus home, despite the season. "I've been okay." He could have talked about the university search, but Iestyn had asked for the company so Henry was going to wait to see if there was something Iestyn needed to talk about first. "I'll grab plates, just a second."

Henry jogged into the kitchen and he grabbed plates, utensils and some glasses and Coke before returning. "Here we go! Take a seat! How are you?"

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-22 06:50 am UTC (link)
"Don't be sorry! I am sorry we had to take ours down!" Iestyn sat down at the table with a heavy sigh, and leaned his chin on his hands, elbows on the table. "Oof, don't ask. I mean do ask, but it's just... don't ask." He shook his head and sighed again, and reached out for a plate. "I just needed a change of scenery, you know? My family is just so wound up right now, it's bonkers. Someone else to talk to." He gave Henry a smile. "You look cute today, what's different?"

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-22 06:55 am UTC (link)
Henry sat down, and he blinked at Iestyn a few times. Was he supposed to ask, or-?

"Alright, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do there, but change of scenery I can provide!" When Iestyn called him cute though, Henry blushed furiously. "I- I didn't even comb my hair!"

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-22 07:46 am UTC (link)
"Well it looks intentional, I dunno," Iestyn replied, smiling a little as he rummaged for a burger and some fries. He let them eat a little bit before he decided to start talking again around a mouthful of fries.

"So, you know how Addy and I told you our big Horrendous Secret, and stuff? I guess I didn't really tell you much about myself, like really anything like, what I was into Before, and like... I wanna talk about it. Cos I might've done something a bit stupid and I just need to figure it out, you know?"

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-22 07:54 am UTC (link)
Henry was digging into the burger, but he put it back down so he could concentrate on what Iestyn was saying. "Alright," he said, though he was confused. "Tell me about yourself, Iestyn."

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-22 09:07 am UTC (link)
"Well... I..." Iestyn wasn't sure how to start, now that he thought about it. "Um. Well you know, I'm gay. I was bullied as a kid by one guy in particular, and it was cruel and persistent and it meant that I stayed closeted for a long time. It wasn't til I went to uni that I even started coming out of my shell a bit, but then then, I was scared to kind of, embrace who I am, you know?" He waved a fry in the air. "And I thought coming here would be my big rebranding into the guy I want to be. I want to see drag shows. Hell, I want to be in drag shows. I- I like wearing dresses, and that is really hard to say, because... when I was taken away, they tried to make me not like who I was, and it's confusing and painful." He glanced at Henry, hoping he was following along.

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-22 09:17 am UTC (link)
Henry was following along, though it was a lot at once. And he wanted to respond to all of it, but when there was just so much he didn't know where to start.

"Children are vicious," he started. "I'm sorry you dealt with that in school." He had been picked on in school too, but he had kind of brought that on himself by being a magnificent weirdo. It wasn't because of his sexuality. "And I wish- I don't know what those people did or said to make you not like who you are. But they're idiots. You should be in drag shows and wear dresses and live your life out loud. You're beautiful, Iestyn. Inside and out. You can wear a dress around me any time."

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-22 10:41 am UTC (link)
Iestyn smiled at Henry. God, he was a great friend. "I have a friend called Joey who lives like that, he helped me. Addy and I did a drag performance once, and it was so amazing. I loved it so much. And the same night, I met Alan, and we weren't together all that long but..." He shrugged. "I really was in love with him. But he dumped me, and it turned to shit, and then we were taken."

He looked down at his hands, fiddling with a fry in the ketchup. Drawing abstract curves in it. "On Friday I got a little drunk and went home with my physiotherapist. He hit on me and took me out and we had a nice time, but... I got home and Addy was so mad at him, for like... ethical reasons, but. I feel like I can't even do a one night stand right. Can't even pick a guy to have forgettable sex with, without endangering someone's job. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could, without having a panic attack. And I can, the therapy is working. Apparently."

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-22 10:45 am UTC (link)
Oh, wasn't this something Henry knew well. "I fucked my therapist once," he admitted, wincing. "We had a nice time too, but looking back, he had all the power there. I just didn't realise it. Doesn't mean I did anything wrong. You didn't either. Of course you wanted to just have a nice time. Yeah, it's a little unethical of him but...the headline here, surely, is that the therapy is working. Right? You did it. You proved you could."

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-22 10:51 am UTC (link)
"You did?" Iestyn perked up a bit, feeling a rush of relief that Henry wasn't going to get all righteously angry on his behalf like Addy had, like his parents would when she finally told them. Aunt. Father and aunt.

He leaned forward a bit. "I mean yeah, and I did it sober next morning too, so it wasn't just the booze. What happened with you? How long ago was it?"

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-22 10:55 am UTC (link)
"Five years, maybe?" Henry said, trying to think back. "About that. He was supposed to be helping me with my overwhelming fear of the dark, not fucking me in it, but you know-" he shrugged. "See, you did it. If you wanted to try maybe wearing a dress someday soon I could be there for you when you did. Just...if it helps?"

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-22 11:11 am UTC (link)
"Yeah! I mean... when I'm ready. Thank you." Iestyn nodded and smiled and blushed slightly. "Well also I wanted to do what I did, in part because I wanted to be able to... to have sex with maybe someone I care about, and not have it be a disaster. Someone like you, who would be someone worth... getting to know better."

Sometimes he surprised himself with these flashes of boldness. He'd thought himself shy, and had always kind of been shy, but coming to New York had changed him in so many ways, and there was this bit of himself that wanted to be flashy and brave- and to also sort of hit on his best friend, if his best friend wanted to take it that way, and if he didn't, that was cool too.

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-22 11:17 am UTC (link)
Henry had reached out for a fry but when Iestyn said that, he dropped it on the carpet. "What?" he asked, looking up, his expression a little frantic. "M-me?! Y-y-y-y-you want to uh-uhm...get to know me better? Even though you know I'm- me?!"

Nice things didn't happen to Henry. Nice boys with beautiful smiles and tragic backstories didn't get to know him and actually like him. Henry was sure he was the kind of person who was going to be going to gay clubs at fifty and begging someone to dance with him. When people learned what he was really like, they tended to run.

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-22 11:21 am UTC (link)
Iestyn's brows raised a little in surprise at the reaction. He'd kind of gotten the impression that Henry was a bit more experienced in the ways of the gays, but maybe he'd been wrong.

"Well- someone funny and cute and open like you, doesn't have to be you, if you're not... interested..." he trailed off a bit awkwardly.

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-22 11:27 am UTC (link)
"No, whoa! That's not what I said!" Henry glanced down at the fry and frowned at it, before looking back up at Iestyn. "I'm...very interested! Have been since we danced," he said, smiling. "But usually when people get to know me, I- I'm a wreck," he pointed out. "I go through jobs like used tissues, I'm scared of the dark, and until my sister lived here, you couldn't have levered me off the couch with a crowbar. All I wanted to do was smoke and play video games. I'm not...not a catch. Though- I just realise now you called me funny, cute and open. That's- No one's really called me that before."

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-22 11:54 am UTC (link)
"And I'm dealing with a shitload of trauma, both from this and a childhood's worth of bullying. I haven't had a job in almost a year and I share a room with my sister because if I can't see her I worry she might be dead. Nobody is perfect." Iestyn felt kind of relieved that Henry had said he was interested. "And I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true."

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-22 12:02 pm UTC (link)
Henry wanted to argue that trauma was different. His wasn't trauma, it was just being a useless shit. But what good would arguing do. And why did he want to argue with the boy he liked, for liking him back? Surely Iestyn could come to that realisation himself if he was going to.

"Fair enough," he said instead. "So I guess...tell me more about yourself? What about the Iestyn from Wales. What were his hobbies?"

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-22 12:52 pm UTC (link)
Iestyn shrugged. "Being a bit emo, feeling sorry for myself, experimenting with eyeliner and interesting hair colours, that sort of thing," he replied. "I used to be first soprano in my church choir. My bully was second soprano so I couldn't even escape him there. But I haven't sung since... well I don't sing anymore."

He was watching Henry as he spoke but trying to be subtle about it, and he slid his foot forward so it was resting against his.

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-22 12:55 pm UTC (link)
"Ah, you should have seen my goth phase" Henry nodded. Iestyn's foot bumped against his and he grinned. "You were a soprano? That's amazing! I sing pretty well, but not that high. Singing sort of goes along with the whole Christmas thing. Why did you stop?" Henry asked.

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-22 01:39 pm UTC (link)
"Because... I was forced to sing myself voiceless and I'm kinda scared I sound like shit now?" Iestyn knew how it sounded, tried to say it fast to get it over with. "It's something to work on with therapy. Every time I try, it comes out all squeaky." Knowing that Henry enjoyed singing too was nice, though. Encouraging.

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-22 01:46 pm UTC (link)
"Maybe it's squeaky because you're scared?" Henry asked gently. "And maybe it's squeaky because some complete asshole did something awful to you, but...you still have a voice. And if singing was something you loved, he shouldn't get to take that from you. Surely it's about the act, not how it sounds?" Unless Iestyn was performing, of course. "What about Christmas carols? You don't have to join in if you don't want to," Henry said, and then he started singing. First Noel was first up because it was simple and it was the first thing he thought of. Henry's voice rang out, echoing off the walls pleasantly as he sang.

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-23 04:53 am UTC (link)
"What... right now?" Iestyn felt put on the spot and didn't even try at first, just turned a bit red and listened to Henry, who had a very lovely, mellow tone. He was clearly very knowledgeable with his Christmas carols, obviously, but Iestyn was too, having sung them all over and over every year growing up.

He didn't think he could do it, but Henry wasn't stopping, so he cleared his throat lightly and tried a few quiet notes. It sounded raspy and unpleasant to him, and he stopped. "I can't do it."

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-23 04:59 am UTC (link)
Iestyn said he couldn't, and Henry reached out to take his hand. "I think you can," he said gently. "You sounded great! And you can tell me to back off and I won't take it badly at all. But I have an idea. Have you seen the King's Speech? I think the problem might be that you're listening to yourself. And maybe if you didn't do that and you just sang along, it would be different. And we can try it if you want to, but if you don't we can eat the doughnuts and that's okay too." Iestyn had said he didn't want to be treated like he might break and Henry was trying to take him at his word.

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-23 09:29 am UTC (link)
Iestyn snorted. "Have you tried singing when you can't hear yourself? I have been reliably informed that it sounds dreadful, by my whole family." Then with a deep sigh, he smiled a little ruefully. "I want to be able to sing again. But it's like, in here." He tapped both his temples. "I love that you are trying, though. I love how lovely and sweet you are to want to help me. And your voice sounds- sounds like a smooth hot chocolate." He grinned and reached for a doughnut.

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-23 09:33 am UTC (link)
Henry grinned, accepting that easily enough. "I believe in you. You'll get there. When you're ready," Henry said with a nod. "Hot chocolate, huh? I'll take that!"

Iestyn had reached for a doughnut and so Henry reached for one too, their fingers brushing. Henry sort of froze and looked up at the other man, his expression questioning.

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-23 10:42 am UTC (link)
Iestyn couldn't help a short laugh. It was like a movie or something, a whatsit. A meet cute! But Henry was looking at him, kind of intently, and he pressed his lips together for a moment, glancing at Henry's mouth, and remembering it had been pretty good when they kissed at the club for a bit, and also that Henry had said he was interested...

He gulped, and thought, fuck it, and leaned forward a bit across the table so that Henry could meet him half way.

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-25 03:01 am UTC (link)
The butterflies in Henry's stomach started to go mad as he leaned forward to capture Iestyn's lips with his own. They were so soft, and kissing him felt so right-

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-25 07:44 am UTC (link)
Oh wow- It kinda felt like a first kiss all over again. Okay, it was light, and soft, and leaning across a table, but it was not enclosed in a club surrounded by other people making him freak out. As the kiss parted, Iestyn smiled.

"Hi. Wow," he said softly.

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-25 08:29 am UTC (link)
Henry's grin widened at Iestyn's adorable response to the kiss. "Hi, wow to you too," he said with a wink. "You wanna go it again?"

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-25 09:59 am UTC (link)
"Maybe not with a table in the way?" Iestyn said, sliding off his chair. "Maybe we could go sit in the lounge?" Sofas were much better for kissing on than dining chairs. For sure.

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-25 10:08 am UTC (link)
Henry reached out for Iestyn's hand, helping him up. He led Iestyn to the lounge, where he sat down on the sofa, grinning up at Iestyn. "I've been hoping we could do this for a long time, but not wanting to push you into anything. You're so cute, you know?"

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-25 11:01 am UTC (link)
"I think I called you cute first," Iestyn replied, joining Henry on the sofa, keeping hold of his hand. He wanted to say what a good friend Henry had been, and how he felt like Henry really got the weirdness of his life, and how understanding he was, but instead he leaned forward for another kiss, because that explained the whole thing a heck of a lot better.

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-25 11:18 am UTC (link)
Henry started off, "we can both be-" but he was cut off by Iestyn kissing him. He lifted his hands to feather them into Iestyn's hair as they kissed, his mouth parting to slide his tongue against Iestyn's.

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-25 12:03 pm UTC (link)
Iestyn leaned into it, his hands moving to Henry's sides to draw them closer together. Making out with Henry felt pretty fucking good, and was such a relief after the weight of worrying about his previous activities. Henry was not problematic. He was lovely, and he kissed amazingly.

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-27 09:46 am UTC (link)
Henry kissed him for a while longer, grinning when he pulled back. "I like that," he smiled. "Did you like that?"

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[info]piu_fermata
2021-01-27 10:47 am UTC (link)
"Mmhm." Iestyn nodded and smiled back. "We could... do it again sometime? Maybe with candles and a meal first?" He felt all fluttery in his guts, a tingle of nerves and excitement. He knew he had to take this slow, for his own sake, but God, he didn't want to.

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[info]philosophos
2021-01-27 10:52 am UTC (link)
"I would love to!" Henry grinned. "Do the whole thing right. A date! I can think of all kinds of places I'd love to show you!" Oh Tinsel was going to love this. Henry actually leaving the apartment?! And speaking of Tinsel-

"Oh, just a second, I have a messa- what the FUCK!?"

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