"Uhhh." Padraig's voice broke in his throat, his lust apparent. But it wasn't just that he wanted to sleep with her! Oh god, he did, but it was more than that. He had expected that, eventually, the pain of being without her would lessen. She was still his best friend and he saw her all the time so surely that would be enough.
It wasn't.
Every time he saw her and he had to keep himself from simply holding her hand and kissing her forehead, it felt like the knife through his heart worked itself in just that little bit deeper. He imagined watching the news beside her and maybe then everything wouldn't seem as dire. So yes, he wanted to have sex with her, but more than that he wanted to be with her. He wanted to be allowed to say he loved her and not feel like the worst person in the world for it. He wanted to wake up next to her and know in his heart he could go on doing that every day forever.
"I do," he said with a nod. "God- God, I do. But I want more than that, Euterpe. I want to be with you. Fuck my vows."