Zoe (history_repeats) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2015-11-02 19:37:00 |
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Entry tags: | greed, zoe hansen |
WHO: Zoe & Greed
WHEN: October 17 [Backdated]
WHERE: Madison House
WHAT: Fights, Depression
WARNING: None
Note: The log reads backwards
Winning like this never felt good with Zoe. There was nothing triumphant about it. There was no pleasure in it. He'd now jumped back at least five steps now and apparently sinking into a giant fucking lake with no air to rise back to the surface. She pushed him away with her loathe of him and what happened. No matter what he said she hated and was disappointed in him. That dread and guilt hit him harder in a deadzone. He just pouted and wanted sympathy she wasn't willing to give---and that hurt.
On Oct 26, 2015 4:20 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She stiffened at that because it was still all about him but hey he was a Sin, she knew this. But last night had been too much and he wasn't soothing her as much as throwing salt on her wounds. "Congrats.. you won." she said and then got up off the sofa. Because when Greed engaged with Lust, that was all he cared about. Being King. Winning. Nothing else mattered.
On Mon, Oct 26, 2015 at 1:18 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I didn't say I didn't care last night---I just got too wrapped up in making sure I didn't crack in front of Lust." He didn't realize how selfish it came out, but it was his world. He was nothing but selfish.
On Oct 26, 2015 4:14 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Tears pricked her eyes, so he admitted he didn't before. She didn't want his touch but was almost too scared to move away, "When will you stop caring again..." she asked in a quiet voice and the tears started spilling again because they had JUST gotten back together, he had said he wanted her and trusted her and loved her... and none of those things were there last night.
On Mon, Oct 26, 2015 at 12:41 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"Well I care now...." but it wasn't enough. It couldn't make up for his fuck up. Zoe could dangle it ocer his head for some time.
On Oct 26, 2015 12:15 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She just stared at him as he poked at her neck, "You didn't care last night..." she said quietly. He hadn't even thought of rubbing oil on it. He did get her in the bath, true, but even then, it was more relief to be away from the situation, not caring for Zoe.
On Mon, Oct 26, 2015 at 4:59 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"So then we match." He was just one step too late this time to fix what he'd broken, and he knew that. He'd misjudged his own plan and his own psyche for it. He didn't know how else to do this. He was a lost child that thought if he mimicked what she did he could make it all better. Every time Greed made a step forward he made three steps back.
On Sun, Oct 25, 2015 at 7:08 PM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"What are you--" she said as she took the oil from her and then sighed as he rubbed it on her neck, something she needed the night before. "Come on Greed, let me do your neck or it's gonna end up looking like mine." and she held her hand out for the bottle.
On Sun, Oct 25, 2015 at 4:07 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He sat as she said, but before she could lather the oil on him, he took it from her. He opened up the container and put the oil on his fingers as he started to gently rub it on her neck. Maybe that would be a start to his penance.
On Sunday, October 25, 2015, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
When he tried to stand up he felt a rush go straight to His head, and nearly lost his footing. He just kept staring at her, not saying a word, just eyes glued to her. He wanted to make it up to her, he did, he just didnt know how.
On Sunday, October 25, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She frowned, not liking seeing the marks on his skin even tho now he was matching with her. "Come on.. let me put some oil on it.." she said quietly and threw the collar aside so she could stand and offered him her hands. As always, taking care of him even when she was upset with him.
On Sun, Oct 25, 2015 at 3:20 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
The collars metal teeth had broken the skin, left behind a pattern of bites all across his neck. He looked back at her with dazed eyes. She still seemed so sad and afraid, and it made his heart sink.
On Sunday, October 25, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She sighed as he tugged on it some more and then leaned in again, putting one arm around his neck and fiddling with the collar until it came off and into her hands. She looked at him with those doe eyes and wanted to see if he understood why this was not an effective apology or way of making them equal.
On Sun, Oct 25, 2015 at 3:10 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He rubbed his naked chin. "Why would you----?" Then it made a little more sense. He tried harder to actually take the collar off, but he was just making himself dizzy.
On Sunday, October 25, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She was satisfied with that answer at least. She stared at him and still was hurt and angry and said, "Greed.. when I hurt your feelings.. and I said I was sorry and I gave you a beard trimmer, would you really think I was sorry? By me giving you something you don't like but I do?" since he could only use a beard trimmer if he had a beard and he didnt.
On Sun, Oct 25, 2015 at 2:40 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"No. I didn't get a kick out of seeing you like that. It made you someone else and I didn't like it. I didn't say I didn't like getting abused." There was some kink in that for him, but he didn't like seeing her hurt.
On Oct 25, 2015 10:29 AM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"It doesn't work like that!" she said and then said, "You need to tell me right now if ANY part of you was turned on last night when she did that stuff to me." she was dead serious, she had to know.
On Sun, Oct 25, 2015 at 6:55 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"Okay so I'll stop liking it!" he huffed with his arms across his chest. She was completely screwing up this moment. He was trying to let her get back at him and she wasn't following the rules.
On Sat, Oct 24, 2015 at 6:05 PM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She ugh'd! when he grabbed her arm and tried to wriggle out of his grasp before saying, "That's exactly it! You LIKE it! Why are you telling me you want me to cause you pain because you deserve it as if it's some penance you're doing? You are ENJOYING this? Are you telling me you deserve pleasure for what I went through? This isn't us being equal. This is you being king." and she was left as his dog.
On Sat, Oct 24, 2015 at 2:56 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote:
"I can't help if I like it!" He whined, taking hold of her arm so he could get her to stop from fleeing the scene as he was still stuck in that collar and she had no reason to want to get him out of it! "What did I do now?" Because in his pea brain he didn't get it.
On Sat, Oct 24, 2015 at 2:33 PM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She narrowed her eyes, "So your idea of making things equal between us is for me to do to you something I was hurt by because you like it. So you saying you deserve it means you're just trying to clear your conscience but not actually be hurt or humiliated cause you picked something you actually enjoy but the act will make me feel worse." she shoved at his shoulder to get him out of the way so she could get up and go upstairs.
On Sat, Oct 24, 2015 at 2:33 AM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He put out his hand, measuring with his fingers as he spoke in a squeaky whisper, "Just a liiiiiiitle bit." He smiled with thin lips as she caught him red handed. He liked this sort od thing, even if it was supposed to be his warped sense of repentance for hurting her.
On Oct 23, 2015 8:01 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She made a face, "Stop smelling me." he wasn't supposed to be having fun damnit. She stopped fiddling with the collar and looked in his eyes, her nose almsot touching his, "Are you turned on." she said in a flat voice.
On Fri, Oct 23, 2015 at 4:58 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Greed just hummed as he took in a big whiff of her Zoe smell. He had been stupid, but he didnt even hear her question as he obsessed over the thoughts that scent always brought. When he snapped his eyes open she was in his face. "It stings like a mother fucker." But Greed liked pain....he just didn't like seeing her upset.
On Oct 23, 2015 7:38 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She snatched it from him and put it on, giving him only a glimpse of toned caramel tummy before it was covered along with her boobs by his shirt that was like a nightie on her. A reminder that he could have been touching all of that sweet flesh right now but instead was sitting there in a collar because of bad behavior. She smacked at his hands to get him to stop trying to fix it himself and leaned in to try to look at the collar up close, the scent of coconuts right under his nose, "Are you enjoying this?" she asked, not happy about it as she struggled with the stupid collar.
On Fri, Oct 23, 2015 at 4:35 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"What do you need my shirt---" he stopped and grumbled but wiggled out of it. She had it out of hands and on before he could say anything else. He went back to trying to get the collar off. He just kept making it worse. "At least we know it works," he laughed but he was starting to feel it pinch in painful ways. Part of him really didn't mind, but Zoe was freaking out.
On Oct 23, 2015 6:39 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"You're such an asshole!" she said and then said, "You're tightening it, stop it." she tried to fiddle with it and couldn't one handed. She huffed and leaned back and said, "Gimme your shirt so I can wear it and then use both my hands to take it off." she was totally nude and she wasn't letting him see her cookies while she was mad.
On Fri, Oct 23, 2015 at 3:25 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Greed had tangled with the thing now so much that he had it stuck. "I can't get it off..." he huffed as he worked on ripping it apart, which only tightened it. Now it was working. He'd thought he bought a defective one.
On Oct 23, 2015 6:20 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"No!" she knocked it out of her lap and said, "You treat me like shit so the solution is for me to treat you like shit? When does the cycle stop then? That is NOT the solution." it was what he did with Lust, she bit him, he bit back so she bit him and he bit her. "Will you take that stupid thing off.." and she reached out a hand to his neck to figure out how to get it off her idiotic boyfriend.
On Fri, Oct 23, 2015 at 3:16 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"So just squeeze it until it digs in a little." He put it back in her lap. Why wasn't she on board? "Why don't you wanna do it? I did it to you."
On Oct 23, 2015 5:20 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She threw the chain out of her hand as if it was diseased, "No! I'm not-- you aren't a dog, not mine or anyone elses." she sat up a bit, keeping the sheet to her naked chest, "Stop this and take that off." she didn't like seeing it on him, her hand rubbing the mark on her own neck just seeing it.
On Fri, Oct 23, 2015 at 2:01 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
She wasn't cruel, but he wanted her to give back whatever he did to hurt her. Then he'd understand it better and also let her release her frustration. It wasn't the most conventional thing to do, but this was Greed. "I deserve it don't I?" He put the chain in her hand. "Go on, pull."
On Oct 23, 2015 2:56 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She looked at him in disbelief and horror, just stared at him and then said in a biting even tone, "When do I ever want that." it was like he had completely forgotten who she saw. She didn't want to hurt him on purpose, she wasn't cruel by nature.
On Fri, Oct 23, 2015 at 11:47 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"Go on. Pull it. Make me bleed if you want." He wanted her to get out her humiliation and anger on him. It made the most sense to him that she abuse him to feel better.
On Oct 23, 2015 12:08 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She jumped when she felt the chain on her arm and her head snapped to look at him and she blinked and then her eyes went wide as he had a very BDSM collar around his neck now. "What are you doing!?" she asked. She wasn't sure if this was his way of saying he'd enjoyed the night before and wanted to incorporate it into their relationship or if this was some weird sort of penance.
On Fri, Oct 23, 2015 at 8:20 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Once Greed finally got the collar roped around his neck he tried to pull, but it didn't work the same by yourself. So he got right up to Zoe's face, right in her ear and slapped the chain on arm. It was her to pull now. He'd gotten her into it the first time, wouldn't it make sense she got to leave a ring around his neck now? Treat him like a dog?
On Fri, Oct 23, 2015 at 12:49 AM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She heard the weird noises coming from behind her and she tried to ignore them... she didn't know what he was doing but she was still not wanting to talk to him. So she pulled the pillow up and over her head.
On Thu, Oct 22, 2015 at 9:44 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote:
He was seated on the floor beside her trying to get the collar wrapped around his neck as tightly as he could with his own two hands. His hands were big and clumsy no matter how much he moved it around. All she'd be able to hear were grunts of annoyance.
On Fri, Oct 23, 2015 at 12:20 AM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She jumped when she heard the door open and relaxed when she heard him stomp back into the house. But she didn't greet him, she was still upset. All he got to see was her naked back that she'd turned on him before, still there.
On Thu, Oct 22, 2015 at 9:18 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
While she slept Greed went off shopping. It was a means to keep his mind off of being angry, but he was still very much pouty when he came back and she was still on the couch. He'd thankfully not gone out into public naked, or he may have gotten himself arrested and Zoe would be driving to fish him out of jail. Instead he came home with a couple of things, one of which was a collar much like the one Lust had wrapped around her neck. However, it wasn't for Zoe (at least not for her to wear).
On Thu, Oct 22, 2015 at 11:58 PM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe managed to get some sleep after Greed stormed off to do his dark sin pouting. She had heard the front door shut and realized he'd gone outside naked. Well good thing they lived in seclusion.. not that Greed would have had any qualms going outside naked on the streets of NY. The night before had exhausted her and she had broken sleep with more nightmares and even when sunlight warmed the sofa, she didn't bother getting up.