Zoe (history_repeats) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2015-11-02 19:33:00 |
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Entry tags: | greed, zoe hansen |
WHO: Zoe & Greed
WHEN: October 16 [Backdated]
WHERE: Madison House
WHAT: Once they get away from Lust and the club
WARNING: None
Note: The log reads backwards
She was turning away from him which only angered him more. He needed to cool off. Of course he'd made this about him, it was part of the Greed package. He let her sleep and he went outside. He didn't even have Sammy to cuddle.
On Oct 22, 2015 1:49 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She looked at him, not believing him and said, "I don't come with a crown." and she wriggled around and turned over, her back to him again.
On Thu, Oct 22, 2015 at 10:46 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"No I don't!" He was defiant. "I know that I want you. And family or not, no one is finding out about this place." It was his and his alone.
On Oct 22, 2015 1:39 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"You do... and trust me, that's not something that I'm thrilled with.. but I know what it's like to want your family to love you and accept you." she looked at the sofa cushion she was lying on instead of him, "Maybe you need to spend time with them for a little while, see if you really want them or you want a life with me. Because if you think they're mean now.. can you imagine what they'd say if they knew you had a home with me? You want to be the big bad King, go and do it but I'm gonna be at home." she wouldn't join him in that quest, she got trampled.
On Thu, Oct 22, 2015 at 10:33 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Greed didn't excitedly jump at the idea of spending time with them. He was burned, he had some grudges to hold. He didn't have his usual wingman. And even with Zoe there he felt lost, the same feelings she had earlier. "I dont want them." He spat back hatefully.
On Oct 22, 2015 12:54 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She didn't even realize till it was too late she said 'can't'. She tried so hard to never tell him no and now she had. "I know you want both sides.." she started and knew he wouldn't like what she had to say, "But the grass is always greener. So maybe you need to spend some time with your family." and it would remind him of everything he currently had and was blind to.
On Thu, Oct 22, 2015 at 9:51 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Saying he couldn't be something really stressed him out. Outwardly it just made him mope even more. It was not a word he liked to hear. 'No' and 'Can't' were really difficult to swallow. He nodded but it didn't mean he liked it ir welcomed it. He was still a failure and that disappointment be it her or the rest of them was a deadweight in the pit of his stomach.
On Oct 22, 2015 12:24 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"Then you can't be King and demand their respect and acceptance. They will only accept you as who they think you should be, not who you are! And you know what, I can't even blame them because a few years ago, YOU didn't even know who you were." he'd often told her she was the one that pulled the real him out.
On Thu, Oct 22, 2015 at 9:21 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I don't want to put you in a collar!" The beauty in Zoe was the fact that she was with him by choice. Putting on a collar only made her a slave. That wasn't what he wanted.
On Oct 22, 2015 12:19 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She knew what that was like, wanting respect, wanting acceptance. But sometimes... you just didn't get it. She put her hand back on the sofa and kept looking at him with those bambi eyes as she lay there, her back half exposed, "Then put a collar on me." she said softly. And she wasn't mad about it, it was a straight fact. If he wanted his vile siblings to respect him, he'd have to be the person they wanted him to be. He'd gain their respect but he'd lose Zoe. Choices were very hard for him, she knew this.. but they had to be made. Her question from earlier stood, if he got everything he wanted from his family, would he be happy with the pricetag it came with.
On Thu, Oct 22, 2015 at 9:09 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
She was trying to express that Greed was a lot richer than even most humans. He had everything, but instead he was crashing with his own Sin self. "I want them to respect me too." If he could will it out of thin air he'd make them. Wrath had that too didn't she? They accepted her fucked up saint relationship. She had a kid and the other Sins didn't laugh at her.
On Oct 22, 2015 11:30 AM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"Depends on how you look at it. Greed... to you I'm shiny like a diamond. To your family I'm shiny like a gum wrapper. I know you really want them to be jealous and proud because you're with me.. but to them you're doing something gross and wrong. So yes, they laugh at you. Cause they don't get it. If you did what they wanted and were the all powerful Greed, they wouldn't laugh... but then would you be happy?" he wouldn't have this home he was in with her, rickety and old and fixed by their own two hands. He'd be in a penthouse condo looking down on everyone. He wouldn't have two pets, a fish and a dog, he wouldn't have a mortal goofy best friend, and most of all.. he wouldn't have her.
On Thu, Oct 22, 2015 at 8:20 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I can't even stand up for my own things with her. The rest of them laugh at me. I'm a joke." No matter what she said that's what he saw right now. What had he turned into?
On Oct 22, 2015 11:10 AM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She was still upset with him but she reached a hand out and stroked his head, "You're not a joke..." she said sincerely.
On Thu, Oct 22, 2015 at 8:06 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
That was a realization Greed never came to. He'd always been Lust's puppet, even Glutt. They were her boys that she gave handouts to. Greed just stayed with his chin buried in his arm. He might have come a long way, but he was still dangling to someone else's strings. "I'm a joke."
On Oct 22, 2015 10:57 AM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She didn't want to say it.. but it had to be said. She looked at him gently and said, "Greed... have you ever had any power with her...?" just to make him see that the title alone wasnt enough. A title was meaningless unless it was backed up with action. She could say she was the queen of england, but she wasn't.
On Thu, Oct 22, 2015 at 7:52 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"Because I like power." Greed was hungry for more than just sex, girls and wealth. He liked the titles, the authority, and dominance. When his siblings and Lust drew out just a little baby, or tempestuous child, he lost all that power---and he craved it.
On Oct 21, 2015 7:06 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe never really quite understood his fascination with being King. She knew he was Greed, he liked the best and being the best.. but all she wanted in life was love and a home, her aspirations weren't for the world. "Why do you want to be king?" she asked, what did he lose if he wasn't king?
On Wed, Oct 21, 2015 at 4:04 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He was depressed. He saw this as a hit, and one from family. He might be building his own, but no one saw it as beautifully as he did. Only, that night with Lust, he'd not treated Zoe as his diamond. Lust baited him and he fell for it in the guise that he was keeping Zoe safe. Greed had done the damage himself.
"I'm a failure as a King."
On Wed, Oct 21, 2015 at 6:37 PM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
He looked so.. depressed and defeated. She hadn't wanted that. She asked softly, "What's going on in there.." because she couldn't read his mind.
On Wed, Oct 21, 2015 at 3:08 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He laid his head down on his arms. She was his jewel that no one in his family accepted. It stung deeper than any knife they could stick. He was no king....
On Oct 21, 2015 5:04 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe went quiet after that and she didn't say anything and just lowered her gaze to his chest from his face. Their freedom to be a couple came with a big price.. and she was looking for him to just even acknowledge what she went through and that it was horrible.
On Wed, Oct 21, 2015 at 11:17 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
His hand clenched into a fist, slipping down to the couch cushion by her own hands. The more she asked to more angry he got. To Greed Zoe was the Jewel of the Nile and to Lust she was vermin. Which worse just made Greed look pathetic to her. He was a joke to her and the realization played across his face. It made him coil in anger as he spat out more "No's" to her questions.
On Oct 21, 2015 2:14 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"You were so okay with it... even if you were uncomfortable." she was very hurt by that. "Would you have been okay with Derek doing those things? Shoving me to the ground? Wanting to strip me? Cage me? And putting this collar around me?"
On Wed, Oct 21, 2015 at 11:11 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"No..." he said in a mumbled voice. He'd not even seen the ropes he'd let Lust tie around him. He had been played and very well. Not only had she humiliated Zoe, she'd humiliated him too. Lust was laughing at him and spitting on his things.
On Oct 21, 2015 2:04 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She didn't stop him, just closed her eyes for a moment as he touched her face and then she opened them again and asked once more, "Would you have done it the same?" she wanted him to see how much his sister had effected him, how far he'd let Lust go, how much he let her get away with.
On Wed, Oct 21, 2015 at 11:01 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
She had to hit him with a visual he didn't like for him to make sense of her feelings. His fingers lingered on her face, still as he played the night out from a different perspective. His face soured and he walked around to the front of the couch. He sat on the floor and reached out to touch her face. He was in turmoil as he couldn't get the image back out of his head.
On Oct 21, 2015 11:40 AM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe could understand that but still... she let him brush her hair out of her face and said, "I want you to think of it all again but this time... it was that psycho Derek doing it. Would you have done it the same?"
On Wed, Oct 21, 2015 at 7:11 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I was focused on getting you out. And when I got you out thats all I focused on...." he huffed reaching out to touch a little brush of hair in her face. "She backed me in a corner Zoe, I didn't know what to do. All I wanted to be sure of was that she didn't kill you."
On Oct 21, 2015 1:44 AM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"I can't make you do anything." she said. "You're right it could have been worse. What about after?" she still didn't look at him. She wanted him to look at his behavior after it all happened. How he was just glad it was over, not really addressing what had happened.
On Tue, Oct 20, 2015 at 10:34 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He huffed watching her back just sit there...laughing at him. "She would have ripped you to shreds if I hadn't played along....and it could have been much, much worse. I was going to get you out of there. It wasn't soon enough, but damnit if you're going to make me feel bad!" But she did a and it always itched under his skin like barbed wire poking through his skin.
On Oct 20, 2015 11:26 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe couldn't celebrate the fact they didn't need to hide anymore just yet. It was nice to think that he could have a picture of her or them as a couple at work (and people wouldn't question why he didn't anymore), but she was too deeply hurt and traumatized and he'd blown right past it. She just kept her back to him and said, "Okay I will, goodnight."
On Tue, Oct 20, 2015 at 8:24 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I don't like what she did but yes there is a part of me that was relieved, but not for the reasons you think. It was horrible and terrible and I can't change it, but now I'm not hiding under a rock anymore. She knows you exist and there's something liberating about that." Greed was so far ahead in the future in his head that he hadn't slowed down to let Zoe sulk and need comfort. He hadn't stood up for her and there was probably a part of her that hated him for it. "You want to hate me for it go ahead."
On Oct 20, 2015 10:57 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe heard him come down the stairs, she heard him approach the couch and she heard what he said, but all she did was turn over to her other side so her back was to him. She didn't want to tell him what he SHOULD have done, he made his own decisions.
On Tue, Oct 20, 2015 at 7:50 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Despite how horrible things came out of this, the reason he wasn't as upset was the fact that Lust knew. Lust knew and and there was no more hiding. He could finally be like Wrath and not hide. There was a freedom in that. He couldn't throw that at her right now, because she wouldn't see it that way. Their freedom had come at a cost.
He let her sit out there for a minute or two before storming out and gripping the back of the couch. "What should I have done?" He wanted to know because unfortunately once he was backed in a corner he hadn't known which way to turn in front of Lust. Zoe had been right, he'd pulled the cowards card to not make it worse.
On Oct 20, 2015 2:08 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe couldn't believe that this was their house, their home that they built together and she was sleeping on the sofa. She would have.. should have.. kicked him out of the bed but the thing was she knew he wouldn't go, that and she didn't want to see him leave her. She flopped her naked butt down on the sofa and dragged the covers up and around her, cocooning herself but like hell she could sleep.
On Tue, Oct 20, 2015 at 11:03 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote:
Greed had to sit in his selfishness for a moment while he heard her disappear from the room. He had done this, again destroying her right beforw his eyes. And it made him sick.
On Oct 20, 2015 1:04 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
When he didn't give an answer, she just stared for a few more seconds then picked up the sheets and left the room, her footsteps echoing on the stairs as she went to the sofa.
On Tue, Oct 20, 2015 at 8:53 AM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Greed could make up all the excuses he wanted, Zoe wasn't going to believe any of them. When she nailed him with that look, he felt like the whipped dog that knew he'd done something wrong. There was a part of him that was still nailed to Lust and let her trample him. He let himself be backed in that corner instead of defending his own things. That had been his downfall.
On Tue, Oct 20, 2015 at 11:15 AM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She went over to where he was sitting on the bed, "Imagine that it was Mike and not Lust. Imagine he did to me what she did. Would you have let him like you did her? Would you have pretended as much as you did? And even if you HAD TO.. when it was all over... would you feel relieved or outraged?" she held the sheets to her as she finally was staring right at him, right in her eyes and he could see what exactly last night had done to her as she waited for an answer.
On Tue, Oct 20, 2015 at 8:09 AM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"Are you calling me a coward?" Because when she said he was he hated it even worse then when Lust. Worse was that he felt like one because he'd still fallen under Lust's whims by disguising himself as just "playing her rules" to keep her safe. Zoe's anger kind of planted that notion that really the only fool in that entire situation had been Greed.
On Tue, Oct 20, 2015 at 1:59 AM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She kept her back to him, her spine sticking out against the skin with how she was hunched over. He was defending himself and not wanting to see how this effected her. And maybe that hurt more than anything else. "No, he's a coward who let someone stomp on something he claimed to love because he didn't want to face the consequences of standing up to them. That doesn't sound like you at all." she got off the bed and yanked the covers off to wrap around her, "I'm sleeping on the sofa."
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 10:49 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He never looked at things from her angle until she broke it down for him. He saw what he wanted, and in many ways Greed put his own blinders on. He saw things from his own rose-colored glasses and only when someone else took them off did he see the damage. "I'm not your father," he said crossing his arms, as if he'd be right in his actions---but he wasn't. "I warned you about this. I told you this was going to be a shitstorm." Poseidon didn't scare Greed, but Lust could.
On Oct 20, 2015 12:59 AM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"She did put it there and you kept it. Even when we left.. you weren't.." she tried to think of how to get him to understand. "Do you remember when Poseidon broke my arm? Do you remember when you find out my dad had been there the whole time and watched and let it happen? Cause he didn't want something worse to happen? How did you feel then?" she hoped he understood it better now.
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 9:56 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I didn't take the leash, she put it in my hands. I was trying to keep things from turning into a bloodbath. It doesn't mean that I was okay with anything." He hadn't been at all. He'd played a face and she'd believed it as well as Lust had. "I had a plan to get out of there....it just backfired." Lust had backed him into a pretty tight corner, and he'd panicked on how to get out of it.
On Tue, Oct 20, 2015 at 12:03 AM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"You are ready to punch people if you think they look at me the wrong way and your sister shoved me to the ground, wanted to strip me, toss me in a cage, give you a blow job and then she actually put a collar on me and handed you the leash. And you took it. Maybe you didn't WANT her to do any of it but you LET her and you were OKAY with it. Ever since it was over even, you're acting like it was a bad dinner with the family, not the absolute humiliation that it was. You aren't upset that she did it, you aren't angry, you aren't anything." she hugged her legs as her words got garbled with her tears.
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 8:57 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I didn't want her to do any of it!" But the only time Greed stood back from something was when he was afraid that it would be wiped away from him. He'd done just that. He played the role, but he'd still been putty in Lust's hands as she molded him to be her puppet. Greed may have grown up and away from Lust, but he still had a string of attachment that he hadn't let go of.
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 11:51 PM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe wiped her eyes and cried out, "Oh I'm so sorry you didn't LIKE SEEING IT!" she curled her legs to her chest and said, "Next time you can ask Lust to do that shit away from your sensitive eyes. I promise I'll try not to scream so that you can fucking sleep at night." her back to him and shaking as she kept crying.
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 8:48 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
It made him feel worse when she cowered away from him. Like he was just as disgusting as Lust. He hadn't really thought beyond the fact that he was keeping Lust at bay. He was only trying to cater to her whims so she didn't catch on and do something much, much worse. "You think I liked seeing that shit? I didn't!" He hadn't but selfishly Greed had been thinking of himself and what would happen if Lust took Zoe from him. He wasn't thinking about Zoe's mental wellbeing.
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 11:34 PM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe's eyes were fat with tears as she sat there naked in bed, turned away from him. "I..." she stopped to inhale deeply and let out a shuddering breath, "I've never.. felt so humiliated in my life. I expected her to be vile.. to not treat me like a person.. but you..." she couldn't finish it, she just started sobbing. She hadn't been looking at him the entire time, she hadn't looked at him since then.. she didn't know how he felt about it, he never said anything to the contrary.
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 8:27 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"No, you're not," he repeated back to her. She was angry in a vile way. She didn't see or understand that he hadn't been comfortable no matter how well he'd played the bad Sin in front of Lust. It was what he thought would protect her, and instead he'd just walked into the lion's den.
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 8:30 PM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe could hear him and feel him, she was trying to get her breathing to level but when he stroked her cheeks and then her hair, she smacked his hand away, scooting away from him, "I am not your dog." she spit out. She'd never felt more degraded in her life.. and he'd done nothing.
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 5:25 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He stroked her cheeks, fanning his hands down her neck assuring her softly she was okay. He stroked her hair, trying to calm her with soft shushing noises and motions. He felt guilt and he always hated that feeling.
On Oct 19, 2015 7:06 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe did calm down enough to wake up a little, she still tried to get her hands free and she kinda jumped when she woke up. It was still kinda dark and there were shadows and her heart was racing, her breathing uneven as she sat up and yanked a hand free to go to her neck and make sure that awful collar wasn't there.
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 3:57 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote:
"Zoe, come on wake up. Listen to me. Listen to my voice. It's not there. There's nothing there...." he wanted her to be sure that she understood she wasn't anywhere now where she could be hurt. Lust wasn't there. There were no men in g-strings and leather zipper faces. No cages. Nothing. Just him and only him.
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 6:46 PM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe tried to get her hands free from him to go back to her neck. She shook her head as tears ran down the sides of her temples, "I can feel it...." she said as if she was in pain, her neck felt like it was on fire.
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 3:42 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Greed was more awake when she started clawing at herself. He tried to hold her hands away from her face and neck before she really made herself bleed. "Zoe there's nothing there. It's not on you anymore." His brows went up in worry. She was more affected by all this than he'd wanted.
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 12:46 PM Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe's eyes were clenched tightly shut and when he gave her room to breathe, she clawed at her neck, where the bruise stripe and the little teeth marks were still indented in her neck, "Get it off... get it off!" she yelled.
On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 8:52 AM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He had his arm around her, a vice on her so she couldn't escape. But when he felt her tears soak into his skin, he gave her a little room to breathe.
Only, she wasn't awake. She. Was asleep and the worry from the night before was back. He wasn't sure how to fix her. Wasn't waking her a bad idea?
On Sunday, October 18, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe tried to squirm away from Greed after their actual fucking in the tub and then squirmed more in bed but he wouldn't let her go so she gave up and finally settled in his arms, snuggled under the covers. In the first rays of light tho, Zoe was in the middle of a bad dream, the events of the night before magnified a thousand times in her dream and she could feel the collar around her neck and she started tossing and crying in her sleep, very distressed.