Zoe (history_repeats) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2014-10-20 11:44:00 |
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Entry tags: | greed, zoe hansen |
WHO: Zoe & Greed
WHEN: October 13 [Backdated]
WHERE: Zoe's and Greed's apartment
WHAT: Russian Roulette but without violence
WARNING: None
Note: The log reads backwards
Not only had he ignored Lust's calls, but all her texts had been unanswered. Ones that clearly gave a horny boy a get sex free card. It might be a small step, but it was a conscious decision he'd made.
On Aug 20, 2014 12:37 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe only opened her eyes when Sammy kept poking her with his nose. She groped around and took the slobber phone from him and shut the alarm off. Greed was gonna throw a fit when he saw the drool... luckily he had 900 other phones he could use. Her bleary eyes caught 17 missed calls. She didn't pry but it was there plain as day, all calls from Lust, all unanswered by Greed. Huh.
On Wed, Aug 20, 2014 at 9:33 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Samson rubbed his nose on Greed's foot which made him jerk his leg away, but by then he was already awake. He groaned looking to see if Zoe was awake, but when the alarm on his phone went off Greed jumped up. "Shit we gotta get to work." Samson put the phone in his mouth to give to Greed, but by then the Sin had slid out from under Zoe and danced off to the bathroom.
Samson's cold wet nose nudged Zoe now, the phone alarm still going off. It hurt his ears.
On Wed, Aug 20, 2014 at 12:28 PM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
This was what their mornings had normally been, and if he decided to give up his ego, he might get it back. But it was giving up more than ego, it was giving up sex whenever he wanted. But then again, wasnt sex kinda meh without Zoe? So what was he really giving up? Wasn't he gaining by doing this? Zoe wasn't waking up, she was enjoying being in Greed's arms too much. But they had to get to work so Greed would either get late or he'd have to leave her to go shower and wake her up too.
On Wed, Aug 20, 2014 at 8:25 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
That moment of hot breath against his neck prickled his skin. He kept his eyes closed so he didn't have to look and wake up from this dream. Hugging her to him was bliss right now, and he really, really needed it after turning down his open door invitation to sex with Lust. He was going to hold onto this snuggly, warm Zoe as long as he could before she woke. When she woke up it was all over. He'd be held responsible for tangling limbs when he should have left her on the couch alone.
On Wed, Aug 20, 2014 at 12:08 AM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She mmmmm'd when he squeezed her and she squirmed against him to snuggle into him closer, one of her legs going between his. She sighed right on the skin of his neck but didn't open her eyes. Awake she might want to be friends but when she was asleep she still clearly wanted very much to be with him.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 9:05 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Greed loved that smell. It was like a Hawaiian breeze sailing through his senses. He stretched curling his toes, his arms leaving her for a moment and then pulling her in a tight squeeze. She practically melted against him. That beautiful shapely girl was cut perfect just to fit right into him.
On Aug 19, 2014 10:23 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
By the morning, they were both laying on the sofa with Zoe on top of Greed, one arm around his torso, her face buried in his neck as he hugged her to him. She moved in her sleep, shaking her hair sending a wave of coconuts to his nose as her own rubbed against his skin and she readjusted herself to go back to deep sleep.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 6:07 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
There was a tiny whine inside that wanted to answer. Lust was his ultimate greenlight for sex, but after the last time he felt like she'd just drained his confidence to try and make him that pet for her to dominate.
Greed looked down at Zoe seeing the bare shoulder that he ran his finger down. He put the phone on silent and tossed it across the room. He'd rather win the lottery every now and then than be that five dollar bill to Lust.
On Aug 19, 2014 8:53 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
It'd been ages since Zoe snuggled him like this... but this was what his life would be like if he decided to really do this. Always snuggles with Zoe, and sex when they could find a way to have it. But in his hand he had sex now. He had sex whenever he wanted. Whatever kind he wanted. But no Zoe. That phone would not stop ringing, if it went to voicemail, Lust would keep calling or text.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 5:50 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He shuffled to grab the phone without waking Zoe up. When she snuggled back against him he looked at the number, his thumb hovering over the accept button but not actually accepting it. He knew what her calls meant. All Lust's calls were just to suck him into her sex den, and he was very vulnerable right now.
On Aug 19, 2014 8:43 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She nuzzled into stomach like a cat, curled up and squished into his side while partly in his lap. She only stirred when his cellphone went off indicating Lust as the caller.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 5:41 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
His fingers escaped from off the couch to tussle into her hair. It was silky...and considering how unbelievably sexy she was he was going to enjoy the moment. She had her head in his lap.
On Aug 19, 2014 7:48 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She mummbled something but soon her eyes were closed again and she was sleeping. Her head fell to the side and her silky hair touched his torso but that was about it.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 2:35 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I'm stretching. Chill out." Greed shrugged and just waited. He was patient when he needed to be, when it served him. When he didn't want it he couldn't stand patience. It was an ugly word.
On Aug 19, 2014 2:53 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She opened her eyes and poked at his bicep above her, "Hey hey, watch the arm...." he was such a vulture. But within five minutes her eyes were closing again. She wanted to see the rest of the movie but man she was a lightweight.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 11:50 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He sat like a predator waiting fir the right chance to pounce. Maybe he was waiting for her to fall asleep. He would abuse the right to cuddle because if she fell asleep on him he wasn't at fault. So when she slouched he moved in to put his arm around the back of the couch. There was a perfect little nitch for her to wiggle in. A nicely toned chest for her have as a pillow.
On Aug 19, 2014 2:45 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe was into the movie, she had only seen it once before so it was fun seeing it again. She smiled and laughed and looked worried and frowned, all the emotions. At a particularly interesting part, she turned to look at Greed and jumped when he was RIGHT THERE. She gave him a look and forgot what she was going to say so went back to watching the movie. About half way through, the silence and the wine in her system, she started to slouch down on the couch, her eyes closing for a few seconds before opening, each time going longer.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 11:41 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Greed really didn't pay much attention to the tv. The whole time he spent just watching her. He watched her face fir reactions, little twitches so he could watch the freckles bounce off her cheeks when the screen projected onto it. He sat at the other end of the couch for a while, but when it was positively unbearable he moved, being within breathing distance of her. He still watched like a creeper through a curtain, only this curtain was translucent.
On Aug 19, 2014 2:33 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe pulled the blanket down off the couch and onto her legs as she turned the new fancy TV on, "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince." she took a sip of her wine and kept her eyes on the movie. There was no real romance or horror so they were safe.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 11:30 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"Fine," he said crossing his arms. The more depressed he became the more like a bratty human he became. The scruff on his chin was getting a little longer every day. "What are we watching?" If it was a romcom he might just throw his computer at the screen. The big screen since he'd brought in a much nicer, fancier flat screen.
On Aug 19, 2014 2:26 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe couldn't help him. If she did, she'd hurt herself and she wasn't willing to do that anymore.. so as hard as it was, she had to let him go to do his own thing. "I'm going to watch a movie... you're welcome to stare at the screen while you pout." she picked up the remote.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 11:24 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Greed just groaned and flopped around until he was comfortable. He missed getting to lay his head in her lap so she could run her fingers through his hair. Doing it himself just didn't feel the same. In fact his hair in general was just starting to piss him off. Everything was pissing him off.
On Aug 19, 2014 1:53 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She shoved at his big legs with her feet as she tried to get comfortable in her corner of the couch, "It's A option, I don't know if it's the best one." she plucked up her glass again, "With time you might feel differently." but that was the other part of it, his time was infinite, hers had an expiration date.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 10:48 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"So I guess my best option is just chopping off my dick." He threw his hands in the air exhasperated already. It was an endless loop she wasnt going to help him through. Hed just have to do this on his own. And that was tough to swallow. His pride was being hit.
On Aug 19, 2014 1:44 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She groaned with a sigh because he was being a big baby. She put her wine glass down and tugged on his arm to get him to look at her, "You wanna talk about this? It's going to be a never ending loop but fine, let's talk. You broke up with me because you were unhappy. Fact. You need sex. Fact. I can't give you sex. Fact. Being with me means you give up sex. Fact. You can't do that. Fact. And when you TRY..." she gave him a look, "You become unhappy." and she didn't want that, "Oh look, we're back to the beginning of the loop."
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 10:40 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He thought he was talking to an android. She just brushed him off. When he didn't want to be on his own he was forced to. He sunk a little further into the couch, setting up his earphones. Clearly he was invading her space and he has no intentions of leaving. "You told me to come to you and talk about things butt you previously just meant let's talk about the weather." She was closing the conversation. Yeah he was inconsolable but he needed someone to talk to.
On Aug 19, 2014 1:03 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She sighed, "That's not how things work. You weren't open to it then and I'm not open to it now because we are not together. You don't get to wreck what we have and then decide nah, I do want it and it's magically fixed." she playd with the stem of her wine glass and just shook her head. "We tried, it didn't work, the end. Can you just drop this stuff? It's making you uncomfortable and unhappy and that's just taking you back to where you were." which was when he was with her and still unhappy.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 9:47 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"We tried when I wasn't open to it. Things are different now." So different though in fact that despite it all he was still alone. There was no doubt she wanted him still, or he wouldn't be here right now. "Money is money, whether it's dirty or not. Think about the rush though at finding a five dollar bill on the street compared to the feeling of getting lucky numbers for something even bigger." Greed could be a penny pincher and he could save anything he found, the difference was knowing what was better. Greed always went for the better payoff.
On Aug 19, 2014 12:28 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
It was touching he wanted to make an effort. But wanting to make an effort and making an effort were two different things. "We've tried." she said softly. "You never wanted to do any of that stuff when we were together." so she really didn't see him going at it alone. She countered with, "Aren't you the one who always thinks money is money."
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 9:24 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"If we were together I wouldn't be doing this alone." That was the big difference. They could work on this in a way that didn't make him feel so disgusted. He indicated to her that if they were together he'd still be trying to work this. "Five dollars on a regular basis its not like winning the lottery in one day. It just feels like a substitute."
On Aug 19, 2014 12:54 AM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Her features softened at his honest response but also because... she didn't think he could do alternatives. "I..." no, she didn't trust him, she wouldn't lie so she closed her mouth, took a moment, and then started again. "You don't need alternatives. Especially when they make you so uncomfortable and unhappy. I mean, look at it this way, even if we were together, we still couldn't bang. So there's no difference, right? Five dollar bills on a regular basis sounds pretty rich to me."
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 9:38 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I'm contemplating alternatives to this situation because you don't trust me and I get no pleasure out of banging five dollar bills on a regular basis anymore." that was the truth of it. He was doing a fucked up job of winning her back, but at this point how much further off track could he get? He was already lost, hanging onto any little thing she gave him.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 12:32 AM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She gave him a look with a tilt of her head, "Greed, come on. What is going on?" she put her head on the back of the sofa and her big brown eyes looked at him as if they were looking through him. She wasn't mad, she was concerned.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 9:28 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He continued to stare at her even when she turned her eyes from him. She'd called him Avaritia....had he heard that right? It was something, it was incredibly small but it was strand of connection that he'd been so starved for. She had given him a little nugget to hold onto. "No crazier than batgirl sitting beside me." She was teasing him right now with that yellow and black shirt, showing off those caramel shoulders. He found it wasn't what his eyes were searching for, they were aiming for her freckles splashed across her nose. He wanted to try and pick them out since these days she liked covering them up.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 12:23 AM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She looked in his eyes but not for too long, that was dangerous. She took another sip of her wine, "Because you're talking crazy. Crazier than usual."
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 9:21 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote:
He rolled his head to the side, starring up at her with those big, huge, puppy blue eyes. "Why would I have to be high?" They were just having a perfectly normal conversation. It was better than sitting there asking 'how's the weather?'
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 12:18 AM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She just gave him a blank look, "Are you high, Avaritia?" the corner of her lips twitching in amusement. She'd never been called the lottery before. She still wasn't quite sure what was going on with him.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 9:16 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote:
"But..." he took another swallow and motioned between them. "You're the lottery and I don't want to go home with just five dollar bills every night." He was using Digger's analogy, it made sense to him. He needed to repeat it in his head as a mantra so that maybe if they got past this he wouldn't have to feel disgusted with himself.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 12:10 AM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com>wrote:
"Butttttttttt.....?" she prompted him and took another sip of her own wine, relaxing into the couch a bit, the very edge of her nightie brushing his leg as she put her feet up under her.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 9:08 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I don't do any of those things but..." he shoved the laptop onto the table with his feet propped up. He needed another good swig of wine to choke this down. She'd laugh at him, just like the rest of them and he didn't want that.
On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 12:04 AM, Lucky L.<neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She raised her brows, "Okay... firstly, you don't jerk off at all so 'more often' would be impossible. And why are you even thinking of doing any of those things? They basically read like a list of your worst nightmares." she took a sip of her wine. At least they were talking without sniping.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 9:02 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Greed was starved for attention from her. Anything that gave them some sort of connection and she had turned into this completely different person. It was his own fault, this was all his undoing, the unraveling of a deal he'd made that even death couldn't fix. He'd come back something else and she wanted nothing to do with him, and here he was left with these memories of things that were just that....memories. "Therapy, porn, jerking off more often, shit like that..." all things she knew Greed just didn't do. He didn't need to.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 11:56 PM, Lucky L.<neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She started to turn red because of course Digger talked to Greed after he talked to her. "Oh.." wait that still didn't make sense and she frowned, "What kind of suggestions?" ugh he seemed so pathetic, she shifted uncomfortably, "And why do they have you all... nervous?"
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 8:54 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
It was a poison in his system, that undeniable ache inside that he didn't have her. Nothing was the same no matter how much time they actually spent in her apartment. They were still just passing each other by without any connection at all and that was killing him. If he was going to make an effort to have something back then he was going to have to swallow his pride long enough to prove it to her. "Digger. He gave me a few suggestions..." it hadn't gone over well that day, and Greed would look for any alternative to a sex therapist. That was just plain dirty.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 11:50 PM, Lucky L.<neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She kept staring at him, not even blinking, "Who suggested what alternatives given which circumstances." tho she had a bad feeling she knew the answers but she wanted to hear him say it. Because if he was doing what she thought he was doing, he was insane.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 8:48 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"It was suggested to me to look for healthy alternatives given recent circumstances." Meaning her supposed 'sex problem' that she'd told Digger about. Greed didn't want to be mocked and the hardest part of even talking about this was the fact that it was so incredibly psychotic when he could have what he wanted when he wanted wherever he wanted. He'd given up his face to have that with her and now he was right back to square one because the horrible trend here was despite getting one part of this, he was devoid of the other. The greater gift here was her and therefore he knew he'd have to find other means to get around this "issue" of theirs.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 11:39 PM, Lucky L.<neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She just stared at him as if he was growing another head, "No... I've never been to a strip club. I've never had a need." she wasn't ruled by her hormones like he was. "I don't know. It works for some and they do it. What the hell is going on?" why was he acting so strange?
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 8:37 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"You've never been to one?" He did reach over for the bottle of wine, slurping down a good few swigs and hugging it to his side where she couldn't get to it. The rest was his. She could have what was left of her glass, but the damn bottle was his. "I mean does it really seem to get people going? I was just in it for the sex and then it was just boring. How is that supposed to satisfy someone to..." it was such a replacement for the real deal. Greed just couldn't get getting into this by himself.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 11:18 PM, Lucky L.<neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"I... yes? I don't know, I don't go to strip clubs. You could probably pay someone at a strip club to do stuff to you but that's basically a prostitute..." she pulled her glass closer to her, no. She offered a sip and he drank the whole glass, it was what he did. The bottle was on the table and he could reach for that himself.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 8:16 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"Isn't that the same thing, except you don't get to see things poke into holes?" Greed ushered her with his hand for another glass. He needed something to knock him to his senses. Wine would do the trick. "Just answer me, don't give me a load of questions yet." He wasn't ready for that loaded gun. He needed to loosen up a bit first.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 10:54 PM, Lucky L.<neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She pressed her lips together as he drained her glass. Pig. She took the glass and the more he talked, now she was getting uncomfortable. She refilled the glass but this time she took a drink herself. She made a face, "I don't know.. I guess? Some do? Mike used to go to strip clubs.." she shrugged and made another face, "Why are... why?" what was going on with him...
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 7:51 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
The glass of wine didn't stand a chance once he put the glass to his lips. It was finished off and ready to be filled up again. He shook his head and handed her the glass. She didn't really think he was going to just take one sip. "I mean....I know porn is for watching and shit, I knew that when I got into it, but my reasons weren't for the entertainment of others. If it's not me on the screen it feels weird. Is this what guys really do to get their rocks off?" This was never a problem for him, this was a first in the worst of ways.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 10:40 PM, Lucky L.<neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
He looked so awkward and uncomfortable... so not like him at all. She held out her glass of wine to him if he wanted some, he looked like he could use it. "Is what really what guys do?" she wasn't sure what he was talking about but she never could refuse him when he was in need.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 7:36 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Greed just starred off into space for a minute. "Is this really what guys do?" God it was so pathetic, more pathetic was the fact that he was contemplating it. He flicked the screen up again and then shut it again. She didn't stop to think that if it were something of his he would have shoved it in her lap and made her watch. The fact that he was covering it up showed that he was uncomfortable and not because he was embarrassed, but because he had to drop his ego to do it at all.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 10:32 PM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com>wrote:
She gave him an annoyed look when he flicked her hair. She went back to her book until the moan hit her ears. She slowly looked at him and then scooted further into the corner so his hairy leg wasn't touching her anymore. "You know you have a room." she rather he watch that stuff in there. Altho... she didn't think he watched porn except to show her his. Ugh, it was probably one of his.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 7:29 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
She looked so modern with her batman nightie while he had a little vintage flair. It showed his age, just a little bit which sometimes popped up in the clothes he chose to wear or the things he liked to do. It was considered nerd in this day in age, but really he just had lived a long ass time. Greed looked over his shoulder, flicking her hair with a pluck of his fingers. "Nope."
He decided to click the link Digger had sent, expecting something like a google search or something random. Instead it was a porn link which instantly started up. Greed had watched porn for the laughs, or to show himself off with his short stint in the business. It wasn't to get his kicks off because he couldn't get any. It felt so terribly human. It was a touchy subject right now. At the first moan the woman belted out on the screen Greed shut his computer screen. He just stared at where the screen had been and pondered why Digger would send him that. Apparently he'd assumed he'd be alone and not within Zoe's earshot.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 10:20 PM, Lucky L.<neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe was eating her dinner while reading a book with half a glass of wine, Samson chewing a toy at her feet when Greed plopped his big ass next to her. There was so much room on the sofa and he had to sit right next to her so he was touching her. She hadn't thought he was home so she wore her batman nightie that went to her knees, showing the skin of her calves and leaving her shoulders naked as the tips of her hair tickled them. She shouldn't have to but she asked anyways, "Do you want me to change? I didn't know you were home." she was serious but also a little sarcastic and annoyed, she didn't want to give him ANY excuse to say she was teasing him or holding out or some bullshit. And she was showing shoulders and had some yellow on her nightie.
On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 7:16 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Greed flopped down on the couch beside Zoe with his laptop in a tank and boxers. Moving out was for losers. He wasn't going to be her roommate of the month like Jonah and Maddie. He may not have made any progress here of late but he wasn't a quitter. He say Indian style, creating a table with his lap, something had to keep it warm these days. Greed had learned the art of giving her space at the right times, this was not one of those times. This was the time to shove his perfectly round ass right beside her and pretend to be the annoying roommate she didn't want. Greed wasn't exactly the best roommate, in time Zoe would wish Maddy was back.
He sifted through his emails finding one from Digger. There was a link with the subject line "This always get's me going..." He hovered the mouse over it for a little bit, watching the link light up waiting to be explored.