WHO: Greed & Zoe w/Chance WHEN: Monday WHERE: Restaurant, Ice rink WHAT: Now what do we do? WARNING: Tears Note: The log reads backwards
Zoe didn't know what was happening in his head but when he dry heaved, she touched his back for a moment, but just a moment before pulling her hand away, "Well you're gonna barf so I guess that proves I still love you...." she looked down at her lap, "But I can't be with you. You lied. And.. I just can't trust you. Again." she stole her shoes from him while he was dry heaving and put them on, there wasn't anything left to say as far as she was concerned.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 8:09 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: The sudden lurch of his stomach rising to the roof of his mouth and swallowing it back down should have been a clear indication that it had done it's job. It also proved one more thing: no matter the body she still frazzled the sin inside. That in itself hurt him more than the catastrophic deal he'd made. Because in the end, it simply didn't matter. He took a moment to dry heave that lump in his throat, but it wasn't just the sickness, it was the realization.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 11:02 PM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She tried to get her breath back since he tried to suck it out of her and gave him a look as she smoothed out her dress, "Well?" she asked, did he feel it or not.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 7:12 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: His stomach jumped to his throat almost immediately the moment she pulled back. He'd been waiting a long time for that kiss, over a week and she was probably ready to vomit.
On Jul 17, 2014 9:50 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She squealed in protest as he just went for the kiss but she allowed it for a couple of seconds and then hit him on his shoulders, chest, and head, "Okay, okay, that's enough!" she said between breaths of air, trying to get his lips off hers. She had been trying to prove a point, not get molested.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 6:37 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: He didn't let her get away that, he'd make her bask in the grossness she felt for that face as long as he could. He kissed her back with the same fevor she was used to. Even in a different body as he kept her close there was the warmth she was missing from Chance.
On Jul 17, 2014 7:28 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She wiped her eyes and looked at him, angry again, "ohmygod.. Greed, I don't care about your stupid face!" she winced, "Okay, I do, but it's because you are wearing the face of the guy who tried to turn me into kibble for his dog okay?" she grabbed his face with her hands, and she had a look like he was kinda gross to her but she took a deep breath and kissed him on the lips, but only kissed him long enough for him to feel the same familiar burn, the acid reflux that only came with one thing... her love. She did hate him but her love for him was not an on/off switch, she wasn't going to suddenly stop loving him because he was an idiot.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 4:23 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: She hated him. Like absolutely loathed him. And it wasn't just him, it was all of this. It struck a chord, a bad one and it hurt. "And what if I can't do anything to fix this face? What then???" He let her arm go but he didn't leave not did he give her shoes back. What if this was permanent. "You'll never love me as long as I have this face." And those words were bitter on his tongue.
On Jul 17, 2014 7:18 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She smacked and kicked at him, "Don't touch me with smelly demon lying untrustworthy hands! Get away from me!" she did not want to be near him. "Give me my shoes. And go make out with floozies who can't burn you up with thier tongues. Actually no, I hope they do and I won't worry about it anymore because you did lie, you lied TO ME. You know I hate that. You said you'd think about it and you'd wait and you didn't." tears came to her eyes as she kept looking at him because this was not the face of the man who loved her, this was the face of a guy with a big dog who was always trying to eat her. And she just started crying all over again.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 4:14 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "I didn't lie! I didn't think it would turn out like this! Yes let's continue to yell and scream at me how much I fucked this up!" He grumbled, cheek in hand as all they seemed to do was be angry. He got up eventually, tugging her to her feet. "Come on," he was going to make her have a date. They were going to go skating whether she wanted to or not.
On Jul 17, 2014 7:06 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: "Two days, TWO! I was with you the whole time and then we had to take a break, I wasn't purposely staying away!" tho maybe she was, she was glad for the break so she wouldnt be able to kiss him. "I just needed some time, I wanted you to be okay!" she said in an upset voice, not knowing why he didn't understand that. "Me being afraid or not touching you doesn't mean you LIE, and blow apart all the trust you earned back! You don't even deserve to wear--" she pointed at his chest and then sighed as some of the fight left her and she shook her head, settling back in her corner, hugging her legs to her as she looked at the rink where a couple was laughing and skating, "You don't even have the screwdriver anymore because it was on Chance. How fitting."
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 4:00 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "You hardly touched me for days! Like you were afraid ever since that whole heart shit! I thought that MAYBE we wouldn't have to endure that so you wouldn't be so freaked out to even touch me. I didn't like that feeling at all." He was getting so pissed like it was her fault but he knew this was all him. He fucked up like everything else.
On Jul 17, 2014 6:34 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: "Yes... no.. I don't know!" she turned to look at him, so upset, "I'm MAD at you. Don't you get why?" and she was sure he didn't, "If you had come to me and we did this deal together, then I would be sitting with you here and your arms would be around me and we'd be saying 'god we're idiots, we knew better'. WE, not you, not you making decisions for us and lying to me and going behind my back. THAT is the issue here. The fact that you did this for SEX and were so blinding by ass that you forgot our love, THAT is the issue." the fact he thought it was a simple matter to just love him in this body was mind blowing to her, especially after the way he behaved.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 3:28 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "So you give a shit what I do, but can't stand the sight of me. How much of you saying'it doesn't matter what you look like'," he pitched his voice to imitate hers, "was bullshit?" Because if they were stuck like this then this was going to be a problem.
On Jul 17, 2014 6:16 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She looked livid when he said he'd made out with floozies, "You jerk!!" she threw her shoe in her hand at his head hoping it hit hard and then made a wtf face and scooted to the corner of the bench, "Are you gross? Go away." go out with him? She rather drink bleach.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 3:13 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "They may have pulled me in for tongue a time or two..." He wasn't going to lie to her. "But it just felt weird..." He swung the other shoe around his finger, not letting her get that one. "Go out with me." He looked over at her, waiting for the horror to hit her face.
On Jul 17, 2014 6:10 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She swiped at her shoes and grabbed one of them which was useless cause she couldn't hop home. "Since when do you have to go home to have sex with someone?" she snapped at him but looked miserable. She didn't want to know but again she couldn't help it, she had to know. She slowly looked at him again, "Did you kiss any of them...?"
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 3:07 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "I've gone clubbing, but haven't gone home with anyone or taken anyone home if that's what you mean." He hadn't had sex. He had opportunity but right now felt wrong. He hated that something so right for him felt so wrong, and her being the epitome of wrong for him was what felt soo right. It was nice getting all the tongue wagging attention, but he had a feeling she'd ruined it for him. He dangled her shoes off his finger, looking out to the ice where a couple skated across. It could have been them, but now nothing was ever gonna be the same.
On Jul 17, 2014 4:56 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: "You didn't not say it either!" she took his help and then squirmed out of his grasp and put her knees to her chest and looked at him hesitantly and hurt, "What have you been doing...?" mainly she wanted to know about the girls but there was a touch of concern in her voice. As mad as she was, she did care about him.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 1:29 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "I didn't say that!" He faltered a little, not yet comfortable with his new everything to take it out for a test drive. He noticed he was quick to help her sit back down when she cried out in pain. He wanted to make sure she didn't slice her feet on something because she was in a hurry to get away.
On Jul 17, 2014 2:18 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She gave him a murderous look, "You've been out doing... being with other women?" okay, she wasnt happy with him and she didn't want to be around him but that didn't mean she wanted other women to be with him! She stood up attempting to storm off but immediately went, "Ow!" stepping on something and sitting right back down. She put her feet up on the bench and demanded from him, "Gimme my shoes!" she couldn't leave without them.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 11:14 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "So what this is over?" He hated when she threatened him with that. This time she had every right to. "I have, I've tried at least. The ladies do love this face...but I don't." This was not an easy situation for him either. Not by a longshot. He lost everything in one day.
On Jul 17, 2014 12:50 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She finally took a look at him, staring for a good few moments before making a face, "That face is not a perk, it's part of what would make it more difficult IF I ever got back together with you which right now I don't want to and it has nothing to do with your face." she was still upset about what he did and she didn't believe-- wait, she looked back at him, "Why don't you just start over in this face if you think it's so great? Why don't you go out and sleep with a ton of girls?"
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 9:45 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "So now it's tiny bit more complicated...." he winced not surrendering her shoes yet, she'd stab him in the face. "This face has it's perks right? It's pretty fucking symmetrical!" She'd always said she loved him, not what was all on the outside. Now they had a challenge like they'd never had before and he wasn't sure if it was permanent or what...it seemed to be.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 12:41 PM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She looked at him with bugged out eyes, "Are you kidding me right now? Our relationship was too hard, so you throw it all away, leave me with a guy who I have to basically help become a person before he leaves me, and then go oh, well, it's not so bad, we can just pick up where we left off, in this brand new body of the guy who tried to kill you!" she wanted to strangle him and held her hand out to him, shaking it, "Gimme my shoes so I can throw them at you again!!"
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 9:38 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "I never disregarded those things! EVER. I just wanted to make things a little easier." On the outside it seemed like all he'd want was sex. That was obviously a big chunk of the equation, but it wasn't everything. "Well now that guy is in here and you have the opportunity to have it with that one." Greed was never going to give her that choice and he knew better than to smear it in her face.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 12:35 PM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: "I don't know anything anymore! I thought that I had a difficult but great relationship with a guy who TRUSTED me and loved me and none of that was true." her voice coated in hurt and anger.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 9:24 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "Well fuck he is me, just...." she was breaking apart. The threads of everything they built were just unraveling before his eyes. "That's---that's fucking bullshit and you know it!" There was that tinge in his stomach that made him queasy.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 12:21 PM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: "I don't know!" she said but her voice was watery. She put her head on her knees, "He's not you in Kansas, he's not... he's not you!" he was like... he was like if Greed had a brother or more accurately a cousin, there were certain traits that were similar but they were not the same person. "Or maybe you just don't love me." that would also explain why the boy didn't.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 9:17 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "Well how's that fucking possible? He's me just without the juice!" He was confused now. "Isn't he just me in Kansas or whatever minus the puking and shit?" Greed didn't understand that just taking the Sin out of the boy didn't leave a double of him. It was just a boy who had nothing more than echos of what Greed felt, did, and left behind. Chance was just a shell, but he wasn't Greed.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 12:09 PM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: Always about him. He was so blind, she wanted to strangle him. She threw the shoe at his head and shouted at him, "He doesn't LOVE me!!" loud enough that a couple of people on the rink even turned to look for a moment. But that admission took it out of Zoe and she looked like glass that was going to shatter as she brought her knees to her chest with her pretty red dress covering them.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 9:05 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote: "Like fuck you don't! You got the normal life. You can go fuck him, have kids, have that white picket fence, no worry that you'll kill him." He did step closer, he wasn't going to be afraid of her hitting him with a shoe. "I fucked up this time. It's what I do. So take your prize and be fucking happy!" He wasn't, he was miserable, and she knew him better that he'd never leave her alone. He'd sealed that deal too long ago.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 12:03 PM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com>wrote: She took off her other shoe, her feet bare now and held it in her hand as if she'd hit him if he came closer to her. She didn't trust him. She looked at him suspiciously and then looked away, that face of his made her sick. "Bullshit." she said but there was a ring of doubt to it. It didn't change the fact he did this without her. "We both do." she said in a reluctant quiet voice, she didn't have anyone now either.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 8:59 AM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: He caught the shoe but he didn't give it back, he held onto it. "I do know you. I know I didn't want you to be afraid to kiss me anymore. Or think you'd kill me." He looked a little defeated. Maybe he was trying to make the best of this situation, but he kept coming back to the same point. "Now I have nothing." She wouldn't love the face of a demon. She wouldn't love the Sin alone. She had the perfect boy now that could give her all the things she wanted. Or at least it was what he selfishly thought.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 11:51 AM, Lucky L.<neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: Zoe was so mad and upset, she didn't want to see him and did at the same time. But not in that body, like this. "You don't know me, okay." if he did, he wouldnt have done this. She took off her shoe and threw it at him cause she didn't have anything else when he stepped into view and she realized he was spying, "Don't you have a busy scheduling of fucking to get back to?" isnt this why they were in this?
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 8:08 AM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: He had Greed's swagger when he walked, that smirk that she missed so much from Chance's face. There were a million things missing now that neither of them could piece together. It just wasn't the same. "You only come here when the shit hits the fan." He took off the fedora he had stepping into her line of vision. He had to see if she was okay, because his mind wouldn't let him rest. "If that dinner could have been anymore boring I would have fallen asleep." Yeah, he'd spied on her. She should have never expected he didn't.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 10:47 AM, Lucky L.<neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: Zoe didn't recognize the voice, she looked up when he said it, gave a short half scream of surprise and then calmed down with a hand to her chest. She still wasn't used to this demon body being Greed. Her ownbody freaked out whenever he was there. "Go away." she didn't want to talk to him.
On Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 4:38 AM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: Greed hadn't been able to get her out of his mind. Ever since they fought, of course he assumed she and his boy body had been having their fun. He had stalked her to the restaurant, but it had been so boring he got a drink next door. When he came back she was gone and pretty boy was leaving on his own. Well that was different. He pieced together her favorite housing places when she wanted to be on her own. It was too late for the beach. So that left the ice rink. He watched her fir a little bit before making his way over. "Trouble in paradise?" Yeah he was being a dick, he usually was when things were weird between them. This being the strange of all.
On Jul 16, 2014 11:16 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: Zoe told Chance she'd see him back at the apartment. He had her spare key, something she had never given to Greed but that's cause Chance was a roommate. She just wanted to be by herself and let the weight of her broken life crash on her. She went someplace she hadn't in a long time cause it had been ages since she felt she needed to. The ice skating rink. She always came here when she was depressed and had an aching heart. It was a way to torture herself seeing happy couples and families and thinking of how she and Greed had their first non-date here. She sat on a bench, not even having churro like she normally did, hating how alone she was.
On Wed, Jul 16, 2014 at 8:11 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: Their dinner was awkward throughout. They talked but nowhere near the closeness that they'd had. He'd meant what he'd said when he said he needed time. They didn't go home together, nor did they spend the night in each other's arms. Greed had spent those days since exploring his new body. It was apparently quite attractive this way, and it was the attention he thought he was missing---but it wasn't.
On Jul 16, 2014 10:16 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She was stunned that he used that line on her and just managed to smile and nod and then thank god some food arrived. He was such a normal guy and she found she didn't like it. She had guys tell her stuff like that before. It was such a cliched line! She was used to Greed's passion. He was scared of love and feelings but when he did, it was with fire, it was all consuming. And the thing was, even as a boy, she did still love him... which made it worse because he didn't love her.
On Wed, Jul 16, 2014 at 6:48 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: They sounded so formal. It was kind of painful. He didn't want her to be sad, but he also needed time to himself. He put his hand on hers in a small soothing gesture. "I'm sorry, it's not you it's me..." It was such a line fir any boy to say, and in being a normal human boy he didn't have the right things to say.
On Jul 16, 2014 9:32 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She put her hand on his arm, patting it, "Because part of you is... now you get to explore and discover a new part to fill it I guess. But like I said, you got a friend, a place to stay, you're set. Take all the time you need." she said it supportively but just felt like the earth had crumbled underneath her.
On Wed, Jul 16, 2014 at 6:27 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: He wasn't like Greed, he didn't want to be rushed. He needed time. "Yeah, we're friends," which was a huge switch fir them. It seemed as if the tables had turned. Those were things she had said to them in the beginning. "I just need time to know who I am. I mean I know us, we've been together before," when they were in Kansas, "it's, this is all a little strange. It feels like party of me is missing."
On Jul 16, 2014 9:06 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: She was relieved to hear that he felt for her.. a little disheartened that it sounded like a far cry from love. She reached for his hand and then stopped herself and just put her hand on the table instead, "It's a lot to take in. And the good news is there's no rush... you can take your time to figure things out. You have a job. And we'll get you some more clothes.. and you can stay with me for as long as you like. And... I mean, we're friends, right? So, I'll help you with this. Just tell me what you need." it was easier to focus on his needs instead of her own because he was clearly telling her what she needed, he couldn't give her.
On Wed, Jul 16, 2014 at 6:02 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "I do..." He paused trying to figure out his own thoughts now that they were his own. "I just don't really know how much because I don't really understand this part of me." There was a lot for him to figure out.
On Jul 16, 2014 8:40 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: Zoe wanted to know Greed's reasons but at the same time she was still so upset with him, she focused on Chance. "Anywhere you want I guess...." she looked at him and sighed, "I'm confused too. But.. I mean..." she looked at her lap and then glanced at him, "Do you have feelings for me....?"
On Wed, Jul 16, 2014 at 5:37 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote: "Its all a little up in the air right now, all this. I mean I know as well as he does what happened, why we did it, I just don't know where that leaves me. Or all of this..." He motioned between them.
On Jul 16, 2014 8:25 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: He had avoided mentioning if this was a date and she realized it was cause he didn't know. "Oh.. thanks.. okay." she looked at the menu but ended up ordering watever she remembered. "So... you wanna go first on what to talk about?"
On Wed, Jul 16, 2014 at 5:19 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: "You look great," he assured her, but didn't poke or prode her like Greed would. Instead he was just as awkward. He sat back down looking over the menu. "I thought we could use some time to talk, kind of figure things out..."
On Jul 16, 2014 7:33 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: It was already so different than when she was with Greed. He would have given her a big cocky smile, made some comment, told her she was late andhe was hungry. She smiled softly when he kissed her cheek and sat down, fiddling with her dress. She didn't know if it was too formal. Or not formal enough. She was nervous so blurted out, "I didn't know what to wear." she made a winced look like she didn't know why she said that but now she'd said it, she just kept having word vomit, "I mean I didn't know if this was a date or not. I'm not saying it should be but not that," she waved her hands in front of her, "it's not.. or anything. Unless you wanted it to be." she pointed at him." Her hand opened flat and she frowned, "Unless this was just a hey we both need to eat so have dinner.. thing."
On Wed, Jul 16, 2014 at 4:29 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote: He'd already gotten a table when she came in. He was still I'm his clothes from work which was a combination of Greed's wardrobe, that still looked a little different on Chance. He rose as she showed up not sure how he was supposed to greet her. So he gave her a soft, shy kiss on the cheek.
On Jul 16, 2014 5:10 PM, "Lucky L." <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote: Zoe had basically yelled at Madison if she didn't like a boy moving in with them she could move out and to just leave her the hell alone. She was stressed and upset and so confused. Greed and her had broken up it felt like but there was Chance and she was technically in a relationship with both of them.. but Chance was sleeping on the sofa, he didn't hold her or kiss her and she felt disgusting. So when he called and suggested dinner, she agreed. She tried on four different outfits, not wanting to be too casual or too dressy but still wound up wearing a dark red sleeveless dress that was very classy. She was nervous and didn't know why. She met him at the restaurant since he was coming straight from work and ran her hands through her hair as she spotted him, "Hi..."
On Wed, Jul 16, 2014 at 1:57 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote: It was his first day back to work without Greed. Chance was able to dress in Greed's clothes (with the help of what he'd left behind at Zoe's), but he didn't have the same swagger. He could play the part, but he still only felt half a man. He felt human. Out of options Chance found himself under Zoe's roof, the couch being his bed until they figured things out. He wasn't sure what he felt, but there wad some part of this life that was his own. He had to test it out. He had called the apartment brute leaving work asking Zoe to meet him for dinner. It wasn't a full on date, butt maybe they needed some time alone to better figure out what all this was now. If Greed was stuck in another body, where did that leave all of them?