|do_gooddarling (do_gooddarling) wrote in nevermore_logs,|
@ 2013-12-02 12:26:00
Who: john and Isabelle
What: John pays a visit for the holidays
When: Thanksgiving Day [Backdated] - still in progress
Where: Isabelle's parents home
John has not sure he really wanted to do this. With Isabelle's announcement that she was dating again came a stabbing pain of bitterness and jealousy that he found hard to take. He did not want her to share herself with anyone else. The attentions of desperate women at work and in his wider social circle were but ashes in his mouth when he thought of the sweet innocence of Isabelle and her devotion to him- devotion he had squandered. The gifts he gave were no reparation to lost time together, no matter how glittery they were.
All he had left to offer was the cat. He'd heard nothing more about Isabelle and not been invited anywhere by so-called family who chose to ignore him in punishment for his transgressions, so he did not know what her state was. However, he had informed her parents where she was, and he knew where she would be on Thanksgiving night.
He rang the doorbell of Isabelle's parents' home, feeling stiff and awkward. He would not tarry long, he would just give her and cat and see how she was. He wouldn't stay to make her awkward and humiliate himself.
Isabelle was still trying to wrap her head around what she had been told. It was crazy but it opened the door to so much more that made sense. John's undying hatred for Richard, his tantrums. It didn't excuse his behavior and she was far from forgiving him, but it explained a lot of things. She was rather angry at them both for lying to get essentially, holding back something for two years that she should have known. And in five? Ten? Fifteen? Would John had told her then our keep her in the dark for as long as she was able?
She answered the door when the doorbell went off, the bright smile instantly falling as she saw him. She quickly kept the door as a barrier with little room for him to see her or step in. "I don't want to see you." She want ready. Even if it had been months. "You lied to me." She at least had something to lord over him, which felt almost like she wanted something to throw at him after that slap. He wasn't allowed to treat her that way.
John kept his expression neutral, and his body language was stiff. He cleared his throat slightly, and held up the cat carrier.
"I'm not here to make you uncomfortable. It's just an early Christmas gift, perhaps." He made no attempt to move any closer to her. "I have many flaws, and telling lies is among them. I am a lawyer after all." He wasn't sure what particularly she was referring to, and didn't intend to ask, so Isabelle wouldn't have to make conversation. But, now that he saw her, he wanted to take that little chance to explain himself to her. "Which lie are you referring to?"
John gave off a tense vibe which made her stiffen. Her eyes went to the carrier, her eyes softening when she saw Maribelle. It didn't make everything okay. But she did open the door a little. "Is that all you came for? Trying to make a peace offering? Why now John?" She was trying to be strong butt she was cracking. She was afraid he would be able to sniff it out and use it to manipulate her.
When he asked what she was referring to her eyes flashed back up to his, she felt herself come on the words because it was still hard for her to believe. "I know who you really are and while I'm not sure I can still believe it, it makes sense." She opened the door a little more, dropping her defenses a little. She was a compassionate person, butt she was still hurt. "You just planned in keeping me in the dark forever? Did you never trust me?"
John frowned deeply when she said she knew him, with a feeling like a hand squeezing around his heart. He wanted to just drop the cat and bolt, but his feet stayed rooted to the spot. How could she know?
"Who told you?" he hissed through gritted teeth, glancing around, not wanting to be overheard. "It's not a matter of trust. It's a matter of you knowing I went away for mental weakness. You'd never believe it so why bother explaining? You'd have called them and sent me away again within the hour. Whatever anyone else does, I don't go around blabbing that little tidbit to every person I have a fleeting attachment with." He put the cat carrier down on the ground and bowed stiffly from the waist. "But no matter. You never have to see me again. Consider your last connection to me severed." He felt a roiling disgust for Richard, who he was sure had played this last dirty trick to stop Isabelle from ever going back to him.
"You'll never know what I would have done because you never told me. You can blame yourself for that." When he started to back away she opened the door a little wider. "It doesn't excuse your paranoia of me John." She could feel the tears start to well up inside, but she bridged it aside with the back of her hand. "I loved you, I was devoted to you. I would have believed you because I loved you." Maybe no one had ever shown him that, but she would have.
"It wasn't Richard, just for your curiosities sake." She was upset that she missed him. "Was I just someone for you to pass time with our did I mean anything to you."
"Blame myself? Hardly." John sniffed in a superior manner. "If it were up to me, you'd never have found out. And not because you aren't important to me." He sighed, fidgeting his fingers into fists at his sides. "This may come as a shock to you, but people don't like me, Isabelle. I'm the villain of the story. If I had told you... I'd just be the villain to you too. And look, I lived up to it anyway. So no loss." His honesty was surprising even himself, and he backed away a step.
"Then why?" She crossed her arms over her chest. She didn't like him pulling away trying to wiggle himself out of something. "I gave you nearly two years of my life. I loved you. I must be stupid to still think I might." She wanted to hit him. HARD. He deserved it. He deserved to be stepped on like the slug he treated her as, but she wasn't that cruel. "You are only the villain because you made yourself one. Hitting me John? Treating me like your other trash girls? That's not okay." She had more strength in her now. She wasn't going to let him make her feel bad. He'd done this all on his own.