Zoe (history_repeats) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2013-11-02 11:42:00 |
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Entry tags: | theseus, zoe hansen |
WHO: Theseus & Zoe
WHEN: Sunday, October 13, after the rave [Backdated]
WHERE: Hotel, Zoe's apartment
WHAT: Taking care of the Grandbaby
WARNING: Sadness and throw up
Greed had been asleep when Zoe slipped out. The combination of booze, drugs, Wrath and Zoe's near death had finally knocked him out. Nothing could have woken him up out of that coma. He was snuggled up on the pillow when Zoe had gotten up for the knock on the door. Wonder Woman had come back from the rave with her boobs hanging out and a case of beer to finish off the celebration. It had been all Zoe needed to call for a way home which had resulted in the only family she had.
It wasn't easy for Theseus to pick her up at a hotel, the troupe of people in costume already clogging up the streets from their late night rendezvous. He didn't want to imagine what Greed and his granddaughter had been up to. Especially outside of a hotel. Those parental instincts kicked in when he found her curled up sitting on the curb. He parked on the street and rushed to help her up. "Zoe?" It was still early, the sun was barely about to peek over the horizon. He nudged her arm to look up from her faceplant to her drawn up knees. He wasn't sure what was wrong but it made him bristle to see her a mess.
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Zoe had held it together while Wonder Woman was there. She let her in, told her to make herself at home and stuffed her clothes in her duffle and thrown on jeans, a shirt, and a plaid open shirt as she let herself out of the hotel room. She could hear Wonder Woman trying to wake Greed and the creak of the bed but she didn't look back, she didn't look at Greed again, even leaving behind the costumes and the shirt he got her that was still in the forgotten swag bag. She didn't want to call Theseus. She didn't know who else to call. Gabe was in LA. Ray was as good as over. Jonah... she did not want to freak her new roommate out by being a pathetic mess at 5am. She couldn't catch a bus and she was still feeling the after effects of a system shut down. So Theseus it was. When he got to her, she sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, "I'm fine.." but she was pale and shaky. When he'd get her to her feet, she paused and then made an upchuck motion. She was going to hurl. Literally.
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Theseus helped her to her feet taking a few steps to the side when she made that cat with a hairball pose. It was the sickly pale face that gave him concern. What had happened that she was about to vomit on his shoes. He pulled her slowly to the side of the curb, pulling her hair back if she did feel like she couldn't hold it back. He didn't know what else to do. Fate was beating him over the head now since he'd been so absent in family life. Now it was playing catch up.
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She made another wretching noise and this time something did come up, it was mostly water vomit, what the body ejected when there was nothing left in it to throw up but it had to keep going to get every trace of the toxin out of its system. There were two thin trails of red.. blood, just a tiny bit from how hard her body was trying to get rid of the stuff. She'd thrown up when she woke up too and now she was weak because she had no food and was dehydrated. Tears stung her eyes and her face crumpled and she wiped her mouth on her sleeve. She hated throwing up. She hated Greed. She hated she was here with Theseus.
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"Oh shit..." Theseus looked down to see that grossly colored bile. It was disturbing his little girl was that sick. He knew right away something wasn't right, but he had a feeling she wouldn't tell him. He didn't like seeing this, it upset him inside. Poseidon he'd avoided helping when she was in pain. This didn't feel any better and he hadn't even caused it. He had to get her home and as far away from that Sin shitbag as he could.
He urged her to walk after a few minutes to the car where at least he thought he had a bottle of water and something for her to wipe her mouth clean with. When they got in the car he handed her an unused t-shirt he had in the back and the bottle of water. He always kept a change of clothes so when he got off work he wasn't stuck in a suit the rest of the day before going home to a lonely apartment. "I know you don't want to talk about it but I want to know why your spilling up your guts in a puddle of blood." His voice was bitter because with that Sin there was no telling.
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She let him help her and sat in the passenger seat with her legs dangling out, her duffle next to her. She rinsed out her mouth with the water and wiped it on the shirt. She didn't look at him and looked like a puppy that had been kicked around. "Some drugs.." was what she half mumbled feeling like a child caught by a parent. She had an edge of irritation to her voice when she said it, she did not take the drugs willingly.
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"Excuse me?" It wasn't like he hadn't tangled with something old and Greek and hallucinagetic in his past but it never ended with him spitting up blood. Things now were so much more complicated. "Where was Greed during all this..." He stopped, not hiding his disgust at all, "Let me guess he gave it to you in the first place."
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She looked just sad when he mentioned Greed, she didn't say anything but when he continued, her head stayed bowed, her hair falling in her face, "He.." she didn't have any excuse for him, "I didn't..." she didn't want the drugs, she was going to stay without it, he knew how she couldn't handle more than two glasses of wine but gave her some cheap random drug she didn't even know what it was. She slid down some in the seat, her lashes catching her tears, "It was a bad reaction.." obviously her body wasn't designed to cope.
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He sat there a little dumbfounded that she would allow herself to fall victim, but he remembered how intense these Sins could be. "I don't want you to see him anymore." It just came out without even thinking. He wasn't a parent that had taken care of her since she was a baby. He didn't have the right to say anything but he damn well did anyway. Greed would kill her if he kept it up. "Next time he might kill you." He didn't want there to even BE a next time.
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She felt angry when he said he didn't want her to see him. She was tired of the men in her life telling her what they wanted. "That is not your decision to make.... he's..." but she trailed off. She was out of excuses for Greed right now. He'd done this before, a year ago... where he risked her life to get what he wanted. She closed her eyes. She jut wanted the world to go away.
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"He's going to hurt you." He couldn't talk he'd put people's life in danger before but those hero antics had kicked in. "I know what a headcase a Sin can make you and I don't want to see that happen to you. I already let...." He stopped. He was starting to sound like an overbearing parent.
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She didn't want to hear it because Greed had already hurt her so much. She lashed out at him, "He's been there for me more than you have. So spare me your concern." She turned on her side, not wanting to look at him. Greed had made her a headcase, he drugged her, hurt her, cheated on her.... and she wasn't ready to let him go.
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"And after all he has put you through you still want to stick around." Greed must have done a number. She might not be willing to let him go, but Theseus wasn't willing to watch her wither away thanks to a Sin's roughness.
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"He's done a lot of good.... he was there for me." the tears slid down her cheeks as she brought up the fact, "He never understands why I give you so many chances. And you don't understand why I give him. You both want the other gone and sometimes I wish both of you were." she just wanted to be alone.
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"What good?" He wanted to understand but he knew tangling with a Sin brought nothing good to the table. "He's been here a few years I get that..." Theseus was trying, she didn't get how hard it was for him to stay put. He felt Sophia wouldn't want to see her like this either. "Think your grandmother would want to see you piling blood and defending him?"
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"He loved me." she said very quietly. She was starting to not be so sure anymore, he seemed... unhappy with her. At the mention of her grandmother, she still didn't look at him, just said dryly, "I don't think she'd be in any place to judge since she defended you." and he had dumped her and their child and disappeared, not being a husband or a father.
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"I'd rather run off then to drive you over a cliff." It was just a figure of speech, Theseus had no idea Greed driven someone to that point. "When he kills you that's it...you don't get to come back. I don't...." He stopped at a red light with a sigh. "I don't want that to happen to you."
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She didn't like thinking of Josie, mainly because Greed always compared them. "You and Saint George should get a beer sometime. He thinks Chance will kill me too. Or get me killed. And you know it doesn't make any difference, because when I die my soul will belong to hell for eternity. So you know what, I plan on living for as long as I can and getting the most out of it. And screw you both for thinking that I can't handle myself...." she was tired of defending Greed when she just wanted to hate him.
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"Nothing is going to be enough for him Zoe. A Sin is a concept, not a being. They live to destroy." Lust was already a mess in his brain, one day she would rattle him until there was nothing left. He wanted her to see how dangerous this was. The light turned green and Theseus pulled over, looking at her and not knowing what to say. She looked crushed. "Has he ever gone this far before?" His voice was less demanding but still worried.
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That line was what broke her, she covered her mouth with her hand as a flood of tears came to her eyes, her shoulders moving with silent sobs. She wasn't enough. It was something she struggled with constantly but to hear her grandfather say it... nothing was enough for Greed. Including her. She took in a watery breath and let it out slowly, she didn't know how to answer him. Greed had done some fucked up things before but nothing like the other night, "Not... this far." she choked out, implying that there was other stuff but he'd never wanted to hurt her. It had always ended up as unintentional damage.
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Theseus put the car in park. He might not be the best of heroes, but he wasn't the worst. Each hero always had a set task and way to take on his challenge so he could get to the next round or come out with his arms out wide. He wasn't looking for acceptance, he was jumping through hoops now to try and connect. Snapping loose his seatbelt, Theseus tried to get her to turn around. Damsels in distress were kind of the hero's SOS call, and she was definitely throwing out a smoke flare. In this case maybe speaking was useless, he just needed to be a shoulder, like a father did when their daughter was broken-hearted.
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She flinched at his touch, not knowing what he was doing. She did turn but she looked confused, shrinking into the corner of the seat as far as she could go as if he might hurt her, her knees pulling to her chest as she stared at him with big wet wary brown eyes.
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"Come here..." his voice was patient and soft. Hounding her on all the faults of her relationship wasn't the best way to go about it right now. She looked like a scared kitten her eyes wide and cautious. He wasn't there to hurt. Running was what he did best, but he was trying to show her right now he wasn't running. He was there. She had called him for a reason and not just for the free ride home. He was blood.
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She still looked hesitant and kept staring at him, "Why...." not moving a muscle. He might be blood, he might be family, but she didn't trust him yet. Besides, he didn't seem like the touchy feely type..
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He wasn't the touchy feely type, he didn't really know how this was supposed to work. But he had held babies, children and women before. He wasn't inept. Not entirely. "Because you look like you're going to crumble to pieces." Maybe it felt a little out of character to her for him to even offer a hand but she had called him. He'd failed at protecting her against Poseidon, stood by and watched, he didn't want to watch her fall apart now.
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She still was curled up tight and eyeing him, "What're you going to do...." she asked slowly in a small voice like it might be something dangerous or painful or witchcraft... his father had not been kind to her and she had no reason to think he would either. If anything, Theseus might get the inkling that his grandbaby hadn't had much kindness shown to her in her life.
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He was entirely too awkward at this. His father was a shark, Theseus was more like a dolphin. He didn't believe in breaking women physically to make a point. That was where he drew a line. Abuse was not his thing though it was his father's trademark. "It's a hug nothing more." He tried to put out his arms with a little wiggle to show he didn't mean any harm. She could slap them away, but at least he'd tried.
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She looked less scared but more weirded out. "Do you know... how to hug?" she bowed her head, "I mean, I didn't think you were.... I mean if you're doing it for me..." she straightened her back, "I'm fine, you know. I don't need pity." she didn't need his pity hugs.
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"I know how..." he dropped his arms settling back in his seat and driving back onto the road. He wasn't going to continue and embarrass himself. She wasn't on board he wasn't going to make her right now. The rest of the ride he was silent, letting her calm down before reaching the apartment complex. Then he asked, "You okay by yourself tonight?"
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She didn't say anything, just looked at a spot in the air until they got to her apartment. Her hand would occasionally grope at her collarbone out of habit but her locket was long gone and her hand would curl in a fist and drop. She had nothing to hold on to and she felt like she was slipping away. "I think my new roommate should be there.."
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The silence kept her still and comfortable. He parked letting the car run idle for a moment. He debated if he helped her out or not when she was being complicated. With a drawn out sigh Theseus turned off the engine and stepped outside to the passenger window to help her out. He opened up the door letting her chose to get herself out before he offered a hand.
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Her body was weak so when he opened the door for her, she swung her legs out and then just paused. She needed a minute. She took his hand reluctantly and was wobbly on her feet, "Thanks.. umm.. it's a long walk up so I'll take it from here." she wasn't looking forward to hefting her bag seven flights but she felt like Theseus had done enough.
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Theseus gave her as long as she needed before she could stand. He helped her walk step by step slowly to the front entrance. "How many floors up?" She could hardly walk alone.
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She needed food but the thought of food made her want to throw up. She sighed, not looking at him, "Seven..."
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"And you're prepared to walk all that way or ride the elevator?" He was worried she wouldn't make it past the door.
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She didn't look at him, feeling like a kid getting scolded almost or more like when a parent is saying something you don't want to hear but know they're right, "Elevator doesn't work..." she mumbled and looked at the floor, holding the elbow of the opposite arm.
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Theseus sighed again rubbing his brow. "Are you prepared to take my help or find another way up? I'm not offering because I have to I'm offering because I want to." He took her bag and offered his arm for her to hang onto.
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She didn't move for a few moments. She didn't want his help but she didn't have anyone else. Greed was who she was getting away from and he was probably dick deep in that slut from the hotel. Gabe wasn't there anymore. And Jonah... well she kinda hope he wasn't home because she didn't think this made her look good. She took his arm.
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The first few flights went well enough. The higher they climbed at her pace the longer it seemed to take. One step at a time, stopping when she needed until they got to the seventh floor. She looked even more pale for exerting any energy at all when her system had been compromised.
Jonah wasn't home, the lights looked completely out and Theseus couldn't hear a peep coming from the other side. "Are you going to be okay?" He dropped her bag by the door.
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She was a little out of breath by the time they got to the door and she nodded, "I'll be fine." but it was something she always said, even if it wasn't the truth. She was conflicted at the moment and groped for her keys, "I... um... I'd invite you in but..." she didn't know how to say but that'd just be too weird. This was her home. "...it's a mess." which was a lie, she didn't have enough things to make a mess really.
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"I'll help you inside and stay long enough for a cup of tea." He wouldn't intrude for longer than that but he wanted to be sure she was not going to just pass out on the floor, she still looked like a ghost.
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She still didn't move to unlock the door. He didn't think it was a big deal maybe but she did. Even if she sounded crazy she told him, "This is my home, Mr. Moreau..this..." she touched the wooden door, "This is all I have left and we worked hard to rebuild it. Please don't think me rude... but don't come in if all you're going to do is leave this place destroyed again." the 'we' she was talking about was her grandmother and her. And Zoe wasn't stupid, she knew that this, before it was ever Zoe's home, was Theseus'. But she didn't want him playing doting dad and hero and then feeling satisfied and wandering off. She rather he leave now and ease into something than come in and wreck everything again. She gave him a look that she wanted him to think on this. If he wasn't ready then good, neither was she. She was taking time, she wanted him to as well.
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"This used to be my home too." Not that he'd spent enough time there to call it as such. She had a lot of anger that was being directed at him when he was being concerned. It failed because he'd done nothing to show he was reliable otherwise. "Is being worried for you a crime?"
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She looked at him with sorrow and disbelief, "When you've been absent my whole life, yes. I thought you were dead." she was starting to raise her voice, "My grandmother thought you were dead....!" she stopped herself because she didn't have the strength to do this now. She shut her mouth and looked to the side and then back at the floor, there was something else and she admitted quietly, "I feel like... I'm betraying her." because as much as Zoe wanted family, as much as Sophia loved Theseus, he would always be the man that broke her heart and Zoe's family.
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"How long do you intend to string me up for my past?" The point was he was making an effort now, but it didn't seem to matter. Theseus wasn't going to keep pushing, he could tell his presence alone was causing her to stress. If he wanted her to get better he needed her to relax. "Just when you think about forgiving Greed, ask yourself why you can't forgive me. I'm making an effort here."
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She shook her head, "He says the same thing about you. And you know what... I'm tired of forgiving both of you." she jammed the key in the lock, "But I'm about to fall over and I can't make myself a cup of tea which I'd really like so you can come in and help me with that but it'll have to be with the knowledge that maybe I'm just not ready to fully forgive you yet. And if you don't have the time or the patience...." she trailed off. He had been gone for decades and back in her life for mere months. She was not going to instaforgive him. His choice if he wanted to stick around and wait till she was ready.
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It was a very small window but he'd take it. He wasn't any good at being a parent, but at least he wouldn't physically harm her as he was sure Poseidon would have flung her into the wall by now. He wasn't subtle at all. He nodded following her in, very close to her shadow as he thought she might fall over. He flipped on the lights in the kitchen setting up the kettle and cup. He was bold to set out his own cup. He could be patient but he was making a point too.
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She was nervous but too exhausted to really feel the gravity of what it was. She was about to tell him where the kitchen was but he already knew. The kettle, the mugs, the spoons, the tea, it was all in the same places that Sophia used to keep it. Zoe didn't make it to the kitchen, she waddled over to the sofa and collapsed on it. She waited a moment and then kicked off her shoes and took off her plaid shirt so she was left in socks, jeans, and a long white shirt. She was glad to have a moment to herself.
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He watched her from the kitchen with hawk eyes until the water steeped and he poured it in the cups over the tea bags. "You want any sugar or milk?" He knew Sophia liked milk in her tea at times. He was trying to offer up something so it bought him a little more time.
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Zoe didn't look at him, just kept her cheek plastered against a cushion, "Both." then added, "Please." she had a sweet tooth. She put her legs up on the couch bent under her.
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He took his time walking over with two hot cups in either hand. "Here" he said softly hoping his voice made her look up without spilling any hot water on her. "It's hot so be careful." He took a seat beside her for a minute still looking her over.
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There was so much on her mind but she didn't want to think of Greed. But it was all she could think about. She looked up to take the cup, noting he had one for himself too and well he did bring her home so she couldn't complain. She focused on her tea and then asked him, "How many children do you have?" she wanted to know. Her mother would have been older than him if she'd lived. Did she have a bunch of half cousins out in the world? More than that, she wanted to know how it worked when an immortal had a child.. even if she could never have one with Greed.
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It was a sincere question but Theseus honestly did not know. "Do you mean now or over the years?' Because that could be a big tally and might take some more thought.
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She made a face and scooched into her corner of the sofa. She sipped her tea, "I guess.. just now. Alive kids.." she made another face because that was so weird to say. But she wanted to know..
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That was a loaded question. He was currently "married" to at least three different women, one of which was in Europe. Of those three he there was at least one boy who was probably a teenager now. Since Sophia though there could be another. "A boy, he's probably a teenager about now. I'm sure there are more decades before I met your grandmother."
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She looked blown away by that, "So... that would make him my... half cousin..? Half uncle?" she was too shocked to even think about it and shook her head and let out a breath through her nose, "Why aren't you with him? Being a father to him?" it was a stupid and harsh question but she wanted to know why he left her family. Why he came back. If he was just going to leave again.
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I left before he turned one." He knew how this looked, he seemed incredibly unreliable. He could see where she was digging with this. "He's in Europe about now. His mother moved back and as you have figured out we kinda can't stay in one place too long overseas." That was one great escape Hr could use to his advantage. The excuse was kind of a necessary one.
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She gave him a look that clearly said she was judging him but trying not to, "Then why have kids at all? Why don't you lie and say you're sterile? Why don't you get a vasectomy so you can't have kids?" she was deeply saddened to think of how many children had to grow up without fathers and heartbroken mothers because of her grandfather. It was difficult to like him thinking of that.
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"Because it gets lonely sometimes. If you haven't noticed Tue rest of the immortal world, Greek at least, doesn't think too highly of me." He didn't make friends, but not because he wasn't sociable. Did she realize how double standard it sounded? Olympians and gods could get away with it, but an immortal pup like him got the whiplash.
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She gave him a hard look, "Then get a dog." she shot at him. She didn't care what the other Greeks did, they weren't her grandfather. She sipped her tea and shook her head, "You have wives, girlfriends, why children? You don't seem to like children, you abandon them when they're too young to even remember you. These are not.. they're not toys or pets to keep you company when they're cute and when they're work you just move on and pop out another one. They are people with feelings and thoughts, who will wonder their entire life why their father isn't there, why he left them, why he didn't love them enough to stay or ever keep in touch. You don't die, you disappear, and that's worst. Not knowing is one of the worst things you can put a person through. And they might not be immortal but for us normal folks a long mortal life is still a hell of a long time to carry all that with us." she ran out of steam then and seemed nervous as she kept her eyes lowered and on her tea. She hadn't meant to scold her own grandfather but family was an issue she was very touchy about.
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He'd killed a son once. He'd killed his own son for defiling one of his wives. His second wife that he'd perhaps favored the most. It was the story she had painted him, he wasn't sure now if it was even true. Either way he had gotten close to a child of his only to rip his heart out when he had to kill him. It seemed cruel to be a part of their lives. Maybe it had been fate telling him he shouldn't be a father. Every time he tried again, it was a huge burden and responsibility. It seemed less cruel to just leave before they knew he existed.
"I had a son once and I killed him. He belonged to my very first wife. When my second wife Phaedra wrote to me saying he had raped her I went into a rage. She was by far the one I think I loved the most. So, I guess ever since then whenever I try to get close I run instead."
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She softened a little at the horrifying story, "I'm sorry..." she said quietly for his loss and the fact he had to do that. But she wasn't letting him off the hook, "But do you really think it's fair to punish all your other children because of what happened with your son...." which is what he was doing. He was denying his children a father, yes it protected him but it was also a way to punish them, because of his son's betrayal.
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Theseus was a selfish person, he'd never denied that. "I guess I'm scared," and that didn't look good on his record. He talked a big game but he was the first to bow out if it kept him from getting his neck stretched.
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She looked at him over the rim over her mug, "Who isn't?" she was scared, but it didn't stop her. He didn't get to be special cause he was scared, he got to be human.
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"I'm supposed to be the hero. I'm not supposed to let fear get to me. I've strangled monsters and killed a minataur." She had a point, but it didn't make the transition any easier.
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She twisted her lips to the side, "That's a totally different kind of bravery.... I get scared of horror movies, I can't imagine that stuff in rea life." though she'd had a couple of run in's with it. "But love... that's really scary stuff. That takes true guts. And thing is, there's a reason they always compare love to a fire. Because it can hurt you, but it also can comfort you." she raised her gaze to his for a moment, "If you don't risk the burn, you won't get the warmth."
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She had a way with words. He kept quiet after that left and sat in the air, fingering his cup handle while he tried to come up with a response. He wasn't sure what he could say because his system was trying process. He cleared his throat but no words could come out. Instead he sat the full cup of tea on the table.
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The silence, the comfy couch, being home, feeling safer, and a cup of hot tea.... by the time Theseus might find words, he'd also find his grandbaby fast asleep with her head on the cushion. It wasn't the painful dead sleep from the night before... she looked broken but calm and he had a lot to do with the later.
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He glanced over his shoulder twice when he thought he saw her eyes closed. "Zoe?" He asked expiring closer to take the tea cup from out of her hand before she spilled it. The girl was exhausted.
Grabbing a blanket from off the couch Theseus draped it over her with a kiss on the top of her head. He wasn't comfortable staying, but he found he wasn't comfortable leaving either. He kept turning to check on her as he made a quick swoop of the apartment to be sure it was safe. Hopefully by the time he left her roommate would show. Theseus didn't want her alone.