|Patrick Clark | Patroclus (borrowed_armor) wrote in nevermore_logs,|
@ 2012-07-09 06:37:00
|Entry tags:||achilles, patroclus|
WHO: Achilles and Patroclus
WHAT: Freaking out and explaining
WHERE: Pattycakes', Briseis', and Deirdre's place
WARNINGS: Talk of rape and kidnappings
Achilles had promised he come over soon and so Patroclus was waiting. He was pacing back and forth, panicking about explaining why he believed Hermes had taken Briseis. It was all his fault, of course. If he had just kept what had happened to himself, Bri never would have gone to Hermes' place at all. But he had looked for sympathy and this is what came from that.
When Achilles arrived, Patroclus pulled him inside. "There is much to tell you, cousin."
Achilles wasted no time grabbing his things and heading over to Patroclus' apartment. If he had his way he'd seal Patroclus and Briseis away from the world so no harm would ever again come to them. Patroclus was in distress, he could feel it down in his bones. It made him sick to his stomach the moment he came to the door.
He could move forward all he liked, but when it came down to it he would drop the world for either of them. He could see the worry in Patroclus' eyes, which made him flinch. This was no time to panic. He felt they had been here before with Set.
"Cousin, out with it. What has happened?" He could tell there was more underlying the situation. "You've been keeping things from me haven't you?"
Patroclus sighed and he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "It's...a long story." He had to tell it, however. He had to tell it and to hell with how Achilles reacted. Briseis' safety was more important than Achilles pitying him for what Hermes and Peitho had done to him.
"I think Hermes has her, but he denied it when I confronted him. It's my fault, cousin. I...told her something and it made her angry enough to yell at him."
Achilles was not pleased with the sidetrack. If Patroclus didn't get to the main point all may be lost. They both loved Briseis intensely. If even on hair had been taken from her head he would put blame where it was due. He laid a hand on Patroclus' shoulder, assuring him whatever he had to say he would listen to. His reaction was still debatable.
"Why would Hermes have use of her?"He paused. "Just tell me, cousin," his voice assuring.
Without meaning to, Patroclus shied away from Achilles' touch. Upon realising what he had done, he let out a groan. His general was going to be so disappointed in him.
He didn't want to think of why Hermes would have use for her, so he answered with a question. "Do you know Hermes' wife? Peitho. She's a goddess of persuasion."
Achilles tilted his head in disbelief as Patroclus shied away. His hand still remained in the air though Patroclus had moved from it. Something had caused the nervousness. He didnt like it.
"I know of her, yes. What has she done to you?" Gods were fickle.
What had she done to him? It felt like it was impossible to sum up; like somehow that was making light of the situation. It was, however, necessary.
"She lured me to her penthouse. I didn't want to go but she used Persuasion. I couldn't help it." Patroclus leaned against a wall, looking lost and hurt. "She wanted a warrior and I was handy."
He did not like how Patroclus appeared to break down within his own story. It caused such a pain in his chest he couldn't describe it. "What else, Patroclus?" He urged him to continue no matter how painful. "Did Hermes abuse you as well?" He felt his blood run cold. He would give no mercy even to a god, despite what happened to him before.
Patroclus clenched his jaw when Achilles flat out asked him if Hermes had been involved.
"He...joined in," Patroclus nodded. "And when Peitho's powers failed, he held me down. I'm sorry, Achilles. I couldn't stop them and I know that means I failed."
Achilles' face remained blank if not harder than before. It was as if Patroclus' admittance hit like little daggers in the gut. He wasn't sure why suddenly this felt so attached as if it had been him it had happened to. He and Patroclus were brothers, what happened to him was a direct hit on Achilles.
His fist clenched though his face still held no response. Like Briseis, his anger was directing itself toward a god. He could hold no fault to Patroclus for failure as he too had fallen to the whims of a seductress himself when Hybris had taken him.
"Don't apologize like some child. It is not you I am angry at." With that statement he was ready to head out the door. "I'm going to skin me a god. I don't care where it sends me."
Patroclus was so touched by Achilles' outrage at his pain that he didn't even flinch when Achilles called him a child. He did, however, reach out for Achilles' arm.
"Cousin, stop! That's what Briseis did. She left me a message saying she spoke to him and she was coming right home and then she never showed up!"
Achilles was used to leading in such blind fights as this, but his anger would easily cloud his motives. It was what resulted his death the first time.
Achilles paused at the grab, he could feel Patroclus' fingers curl around tightly, anchoring him in that spot.
"No god need toy with us again," he said in heartfelt words. "Remember what Hybris did?" he felt a bit chocked not wanting to imagine what pain Hermes would bring to his Briseis.
He remembered what Hybris did. His jaw still ached at times, though he wouldn't admit that to Achilles. His body was still marked with fading bruises from Hermes. Briseis was right all along. All the gods did was toy with mortals. They never cared. Patroclus had always blindly followed them and now-
"I was giving him power," Patroclus hissed. "I was devoting myself to him and this is what he did to repay me. I confronted him about Briseis today and he insisted he doesn't have her."
Achilles had not forgotten what he had done to Patroclus in his anger. He and Briseis had done no more than try to make him see reason. He had refused and that was what brought him under the judgment of Zeus. This time, Achilles cared nothing for what punishment he would receive, but it would inflict on others if he was to die.
"You see now why I never chose to follow gods and make my own way?" He respected them now, yes, but when they chose to use mortals as mere tokens of their folly, he had no patience for them. "Briseis must be found Patroclus." Achilles had to think. He had to come up with a battle plan.
Of course Briseis had to be found. Of course she did, but all Patroclus wanted to do was curl up and cry. He wouldn't, but he couldn't help that he wanted to. He had never been made to feel so weak and powerless and now his dear Briseis was missing. It was enough to send him cowering for the corner.
"Death was not such a horror as what they made me experience, cousin," he admitted. He hadn't even said as much to Briseis. He let out a deep breath and wrapped his arms around himself.
"What...what should we do?" Achilles was his general and he would follow.
"Patroclus," Achilles started in a harsh tone, but it softened when the confession was made. "It hurts me too," he shook his head, "even if I wasn't there. It feels as if I were." He put a hand on Patroclus' shoulder again, this time not letting him break away from it.
"You must not think that way." Was it Polyxena that had rubbed off her light in his thinking when usually Achilles was so cryptic when it came to the things he didn't want to remember.
He took a deep breath taking whatever steps he could to calm himself so that he did not fly out that door. "I know not. I need to think." Though there wasn't a lot of time when they had no clues other than Hermes as to her whereabouts.
Patroclus swallowed several times, trying to fight his spasming throat. Achilles' touch was comforting and when Achilles admitted he didn't know what to do, Patroclus had had enough. He leaned in and hugged his cousin tightly.
He wanted to cry out. Yell as loud as his voice would carry, but he refrained. He was not expecting the embrace but Achilles would not be so cruel as to push Patroclus away. They both felt this pain.
To him, he had failed them both. They were constantly blaming each other for things they had no control of. "We have found her before, only I know not of her state. This is different." He wrapped an arm around Patroclus being as reassuring as a hardened warrior could be. They had made it through worse, or so it seemed.
"A warrior does not break, Patroclus." He could feel himself trying. "Not now."
Patroclus breathed in deeply and he nodded then. His general had said he couldn't break. "Yes sir," he said, hardening his heart just a little against the pain. "We will find her."
"I can't see you like this, Patroclus," he spoke more sensitively. He couldn't take it. It was too much. "I see red now, if you crack even just a little I will not return to you alive." He would be reckless and that endangered not only himself but Briseis as well.
Patroclus studied his best friend and after a moment, he nodded. "I won't crack," he said firmly. He could put all his effort into finding Briseis and break later when he was alone and she was safe. He wouldn't risk losing Achilles too.
Achilles was good at keeping strong, but when it came to his few loved ones, it was a war on his stability. "I do not wish you more anguish, but I simply could not bare it, brother." He gave Patroclus a sturdy nod and dropped his hand from his shoulder. "We both have enough demons to face. Right now we have to find Briseis. Are there any other clues you could give me? Haunts of Hermes or Peitho?"
"We do," Patroclus agreed. "I know where they live and the bar where Peitho found me. I also know where Hermes' office is, but I know little else."
"Then we will start there." It was some direction. Achilles knew Patroclus was counting on him. He was the Lieutenant. There was no room for failure now. He wished he could show more compassion right now but he had to overlook it. Strength was what he and Patroclus both needed.
"Have you eaten, cousin?" Patroclus looked weary. They could not do anything without substance first.
Had he eaten? No. "I haven't," he answered honestly. "I've been too worried." If Achilles asked him to, however, he would.