Datura was gripping the table behind her so hard, she wouldn't have been surprised if she was leaving marks. To be so close to the embodiment of everything she swore to never feel again made her feel sick, it terrified her.
"No," she said, as fiercely as she could, for all that she felt as weak as a kitten. "No, I came from...from Delhi, from the sun-drenched streets and the temples with their incense and flowers. I wasn't-I used to be...". She trailed off, trying to think of a better word. "I used to be better," she said in Hindi, without realizing it.