|Jameson William Kemp (flare_star) wrote in nevermore_logs,|
@ 2013-03-22 01:19:00
|Entry tags:||jameson kemp, lena rainmayr, thomas kemp|
Who: Jamie Kemp, Thomas Kemp, & Lena Rainmayr
What: It's Jamie's turn to be not OK
When: Friday afternoon
Where: Their apartment
It was finally the weekend, and Jamie was so happy that it was here. The past weeks had been emotionally draining for both him and his dad, and he was looking forward to just vegging around the apartment for two days. He'd felt more tightly strung than a piano wire lately, and he'd agreed to be his dad's medical proxy once...once things got really bad. He sighed, throwing his backpack into his room and slouching onto the couch. His emotions had been a rollercoaster lately, some days it felt like a tossup between shouting or bursting into tears.
He heard something crumple behind him as he shifted, and he reached behind himself to pull it out. It was one of the pamphlets on Huntington's, on what they could expect to happen as the disease progressed. He didn't need to read it again, the words had burned themselves into his brain. And it was rather like being hit in the face with a cinder block. His dad...he'd slowly get worse and worse, to the point where he'd likely need round-the-clock care. He wouldn't be able to hold things. He wouldn't be able to swallow.
He might not even remember Jamie.
The sob tore its way out of his throat, like it was fighting to get out. He'd tried for so long to be strong, to keep it together and not let the worries run away with him, but he wasn't Superman. He was an eighteen-year-old boy, faced with worries and responsibilities and planning for the future. He felt like he was straddling two worlds, and neither would have him anymore.
Tears ran down his face, and he viciously swiped at them, but they just kept coming. His dad was the one with the terminal disease, why the fuck was he the one crying? He was scared, that was the simple truth of it. He was scared for his dad, and for what life would be like without his dad in it. He didn't want to face it, and for right now, he wasn't going to. He was just going to lie on his couch and cry.