Thomas Julian Kemp (asterismos) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2013-03-02 23:19:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | lena rainmayr, thomas kemp |
WHO: Thomas Kemp and Lena Rainmayr
WHAT: DATES
WHEN: Saturday Night
WHERE: A steakhouse thing
WARNINGS: A mention of self-harm and sneaky feet in nice places.
The door opened in front of him and a grin spread across Thomas' face when he spotted Lena before him. "Hello," he said, his tone cordial. She looked beautiful in her little, black dress and suddenly he felt underdressed even though he was wearing nice trousers and a button down. He could obsess over it or move on though, and he had more pressing things to worry about anyway. "I am here to exchange food for the hope of eventual sex?" He wanted to forget everything about the past week, and at least he was honest.
Lena burst out laughing and she placed a hand on his shoulder to steady herself, lest she fall over. "You're a hoot, Thomas Kemp," she informed him with a grin. "And to be honest, you could get it from me without the food."
"Just a moment, I'm storing that information for a later date. It's very important," he nodded, schooling his features into something serious for a split second. "Okay, filed." His arm was offered and she took it with a smile. "I had to make reservations on the fly, so I hope you're okay with Burger King?"
Lena smirked over at him. "I know you aren't taking me to Burger King, but if you ever did you better be prepared to buy me a toy."
With a chuckle, Thomas held the car door open for her and then he rounded the car and slid into his own seat. "Alright, you caught me in a lie. But now I kind of want to go there for dessert, just to get you a Burger King toy."
"My brother would steal it and use it in one of his installations," Lena remarked as she watched the city whiz by them. "He does that. I am fairly sure that's where my retainer went. And more condom wrappers than I want to think about."
"I am so glad you said 'wrappers' right then," Thomas laughed.
"Oh, Thomas, so am I," Lena said, joining in. "His art is all about statements and apparently some of those statements are 'here are a bunch of condom wrappers'. I don't know, I don't get it. And I was born into it." She shrugged easily and then cast him a smile.
The parking lot was quite full, but Thomas managed to find a spot farther away from the door than he would like. They both climbed out of the car and he walked her into the restaurant; a rather nice steak place. When they were shown to their table, he even held her chair out for her. "I have to admit," she said once he had sat down, "I don't usually date people who open doors and pull chairs for me."
Unaware he had even really done so, Thomas chuckled. "Right, well I grew up in a house full of women and my other said if I ever disrespected a woman she would tan my hide, so-" he shrugged. "Not that my mother would ever tan anyone's hide. She's actually the gentlest person I know. But somehow the threat still worked."
"It's nice," she said, leaning forward. "So you're close to your parents? That must be so hard right now, Thomas, I'm sorry."
It was strange and nice both at once to actually talk to Lena. He had met her in a bar a week ago, and though neither of them had been actually drunk, they had ended up going home and having sex for a good five hours. Thomas had been well pleased by that, since before Lena it had been a good two years since he had slept with anyone at all. Despite spending a lot of time in the bedroom, they hadn't really gotten to know each other, yet they were already strangely comfortable around each other. Thomas hadn't expected it, but he had to admit he liked it. "I'm closer to them now that I'm an adult," he admitted. "And I don't mean that to sound like I didn't get along with them as a kid, I did. They just had to work so hard and I didn't see them a lot. They're wonderful people though. They have always supported me and I was an asshole when I was younger so...it hasn't always been easy. So yeah, I really hate knowing what my father is about to go through."
He felt her hand on his, and that surprised him slightly too. He turned his hand over, palm up, so she could slip her fingers through his own. When he lifted his eyes, she was smiling sympathetically and he was rather struck by how incredible her green eyes looked in the light of the candles on their table. "Thank you," he said, though he didn't actually elaborate on what he was thanking her for. And she simply squeezed his hand in return.
"My parents were kind of AWOL when I was a kid too," she explained, retracting her hand so she could take a sip from her water glass. "I mean they were around, but they were always painting or being painted, or painting...each other, I don't know. I have five brothers and sisters and every single one of them is artistic except me so...basically their talents were encouraged and I had to find my own. But I discovered music from a young age so at least I had that."
Her story made him sad because as a father he felt like every child should be nurtured and encouraged. But he was very much not Lena's father, so he pushed that feeling away. "Sucks. But I'm glad you found an escape."
"I did. And then I went to music school and then left because they were jerks," she laughed. They paused to place orders and let the waiter pour Lena some wine, and then Lena picked up where she left off. "I started learning dance soon after that and now voila! Me!"
"A perfect creation," he said with a smile.
"You are racking up the points," she informed him. "And you didn't even need them! Fancy that!" She made a shocked face at him before taking a sip of her wine. "Okay so...the obvious question. You're quite young to have a teenage son. Is it okay to ask about?"
In all honesty, Thomas would have found it strange if she didn't. Everyone asked him about it unless they didn't care at all, and he was pretty convinced by now that she cared as much as she could for someone who had known him for a week. "Of course it is. I'm not shy about it at all. I was sixteen when he was born."
"Fuck," was Lena's reply. "God, when I was sixteen I was like...smoking pot and flashing bikers. I mean there still isn't a motherly bone in my body, and I'm a decade older than that now. Wow. So...can I ask when your wife died?"
Thomas was glad he hadn't been drinking at that moment. "My huh? No, no, I wasn't married!"
He watched Kat blink and then turn bright red. "I am so sorry! Here I assumed- I don't even know," she laughed. "I guess I thought maybe you ended up married to his mother and then she...died... I mean I didn't see any photos of her so-" She buried her face in her hands. "Oh man, I suck."
"No you don't," Thomas laughed. "It's fine! His mother actually left the day after he was born. I haven't seen her since, and have no idea where she is. Her name is still on the birth certificate, but we held a hearing so I could have full legal custody and she was subpoenaed and never showed. So even if she ever did show up she couldn't take him or make any important decisions. They would have had to pry him out of my cold, dead hands to take him anyway, so it was good to have the law behind me."
No longer embarrassed, Kat just looked utterly shocked. "So you...you raised him yourself? Completely?"
"Well, I had my parents. We lived with them for a year and thank goodness because I never would have gotten through midnight feedings and changings by myself. And even with their help I don't think I slept much at all for the first six months. Then at seventeen we moved into this...oh god, it shouldn't even be called an apartment. My mother was pretty furious but I was stubborn in my belief that I could do it." It had been a very rough year, that first year by himself. He didn't like to remember it, because almost none of it was nice. "But thankfully they let me leave Jamie with them while I worked. It was a godsend since I could never have afforded childcare."
"Fuck me, Thomas," Lena whispered. "So Jamie's mother just left?! Did she even say anything?"
"Not a word," Thomas said with a sigh. "I can't be all that hard on her. If I am completely honest, I was ready to run at first too. I had grand plans of running away to California and being an actor or something ridiculous. But as soon as he was born and I actually held him, I never could have left. I mean...he was so small. And now thinking about that makes me feel so guilty because he could have had both parents just leave and I'm so glad I didn't. I feel sorry that she doesn't get to know him, because he's...basically the best person in the world. See, this is what happens when you bring up my son," Thomas laughed. "I literally do not stop talking about him."
"It's really beautiful," Lena said honestly. "Did it hurt you when she left?"
Thomas was impressed that Lena wasn't too afraid to ask questions like this, and he had to admit it was rather refreshing to talk about it. He didn't usually shy away from topics like this, but he was used to most other people doing so. She was like a breath of fresh air. "It...it did at first, yes. I mean, I was pretty smitten, but I was all set to leave her so the bond was only so deep. She was really sweet though. There was a way her eyes wrinkled when she smiled. I missed that. She was a friend and I missed her, but I honestly don't think we ever would have worked together long term. There was nothing really solid between us."
"Makes sense to me," Lena mused. "I can't imagine raising a kid as a teenager. I lived on a commune and I was surrounded by kids, but none of them were ever my responsibility. Was it...terrifying? God. Am I pissing you off? I do this overly familiar thing-"
Thomas raised his hand and he grinned, "on the contrary, I find it charming. And yes, it was terrifying. I was constantly afraid someone would take him away from me. It's such a cliche but once you hold your child they just- They become the most important thing in the world to you. Even when you're a dumbass kid who steals porn magazines at least once a week. But I was so aware I was young and one wrong step would suddenly have all this attention on me. I mean...once he hit his head and he had his huge bruise and I was up worrying sick for two days that someone would call child protection on me. I would have...these elaborate nightmares where they took him away and I just had to watch as some other family drove off with him."
"He clearly would never have let them," she replied. Their food arrived and he watched Lena dig into her steak with gusto before doing the same with his. "Okay, you shared a lot of personal stuff. I can do the same, though it might bum you out."
"Well," he said thoughtfully as he prepared his baked potato. "Now would be the best time to try it. I'm probably at my...bum saturation point? No, that's all wrong."
Lena's laugher echoed off of her wine glass, and he grinned. "Oh god. Wow. But I know what you mean," she winked. "Okay well...I basically spent my entire childhood feeling ignored and after I left my music school I felt sort of adrift. I just wanted someone to notice me. I was literally surrounded by artists everywhere I looked. So I started doing a lot of drugs and getting drunk every night. I was trying so hard to get my parents to intervene and they didn't. They said I was doing some...arty wanker thing about self-discovery. So...I started hurting myself. Even that didn't get them to do anything until I painted them a bloody picture and left it on their bed. Then they sent me to hospital and I was so pissed off at first because they sent me away instead of trying to help me themselves. I eventually realised though, that was how they helped. I had scared them."
"Yeah well...that'd do it," Thomas said, feeling shocked it had taken that much to get someone's attention. "How long were you in hospital?"
"About three months. I had a lot to work through. I confronted my parents about ignoring me while I was there though and it ended up being the best thing I had ever done because I finally accepted me for me. I moved away and started dancing and kept making music. And I am really grateful to them because I realised I was able to find out who I was when I was on my own."
That was an idea he was familiar with in a way. "I know what you mean. I've been there too. And to be honest, you're pretty damn fabulous."
"I am!" Lena said with a laugh.
About to take another bite of potato, Thomas felt something on his leg. Sure it wasn't a bug, he glanced at Lena and caught her mischevious look. He paused, his fork in the air, as the feeling rose up past his knee and then his thigh to his- His fork clattered to the plate and he jerked forward slightly before gasping and staring over at Lena. "Is this fair? I'm still hungry! I can't eat when you are doing that." Then quickly he added, "that didn't mean stop."
Lena laughed again. "It's pretty fair, I think." She didn't stop either. She continued to tease him with her toes while smirking at him across the table. "Your face right now is priceless and if I was a bitch I would take a photo of it and send it to your son."
Thomas laughed, though it was slightly shaky. "Poor Jamie. Haannrgghh." He cleared his throat then to cover the accidental sound of niceness. "Okay, I give up. We should get this boxed up, hmm? Now? Should we get it boxed up now?"
Lena raised her arms in victory and withdrew her foot, much to Thomas' lament. Her grin was wide when she informed him, "I win. But I can put my legs behind my head, so your consolation prize isn't too shabby. Do you want me to ensure you return home limping?"
Thomas eyes grew wide and he nodded. "Yes please," he answered, more quickly than he ever had in his life. And then he frantically tried to wave down a waiter so they could excuse themselves back to her place for some very acrobatic sex.