Zoe (history_repeats) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2012-12-09 00:20:00 |
|
|||
Current mood: | Broken |
Current music: | Over the Rhine - I Will Remember |
Entry tags: | gabe rahmeier, zoe hansen |
WHO: Zoe Narrative [Open to Gabe]
WHEN: Monday morning, December 3 [Backdated]
WHERE: Zoe and Gabe's apartment
WHAT: A broken heart
WARNING: Lots of words and sadness.
It was funny really, normally after a break up when you went to sleep and woke up, you saw the sun shining, birds singing, people going about their lives and the world just going on as if nothing happened. Zoe and Greed broke up, she went to sleep, and when she woke up, the world wasn't going on about its business. As she stumbled out of his apartment she saw that the world reflected how she felt. It was dark. There was no sun. No people. The world was silent and there was nothing to comfort her, no beacon to guide her home. There was no normal to remind her that everything would be okay because everything wouldn't.
She didn't even know where she was. It was pitch black and with fewer city lights. The air was icy and it was the kind of chill that dug deep into the bone but the slight tremors that shook her body weren't because of the cold. She could feel the tears prick her eyes but didn't have the energy left to even let them fall. She walked she didn't know for how long until finally she spotted a cab, she didn't know if she had enough money to get home but she was going to collapse in the street if she didn't get there soon.
She held it together remarkably well until she got to her apartment building, by now the first signs of murky morning were smearing themselves across the city, forcing the world to stop its pitiful mourning with her and continue on its way. Her eyes were glassy because the tears were ready, just waiting for her thoughts to catch up to her. And they did as she climbed the stairs, every memory of her stupidity replaying in her mind. What had she been thinking? He had told her what he was, what he was not capable of. Did she think she was special? She wasn't even thinking of Greed as a Sin. Maybe it would have been better if she was. She was thinking of him as a man. A man who she knew she'd fall in love with if she let her defenses down, she knew it'd end in heartbreak and here she was so why was she surprised? It was her own fault for deluding herself into believing she was anything more than part of a collection to Greed. He had his very own fleet of fancy cars, suits, toys, and she was his very own shiny mortal. What a novelty.
He had told her he could play any face to get what he wanted and he hadn't lied, she'd.. just wanted to believe that maybe he.. ugh, what? Cared for her without realizing it? Stupid, stupid girl! She hadn't been worth even an hour to him. And maybe that hurt the most. Not that he lied, or broke his promise, or even (shudder) slept with his sister, but that he showed Zoe how little he valued her. A little over thirty minutes was what he thought of her. Her love, her heart, was worth about a TV show episode. And probably just as entertaining and forgettable. It was all she had though, it was everything she had and it meant nothing to him. It wasn't enough, it would never be enough because he could never have enough. And it threw her right back into the question of.. if she knew all this then what had she been thinking?
She finally opened the apartment door, looking much like the wreck she felt she was. She wanted to crawl into her bed and not see anyone for a month but while the world might have given her a moment, life was still a cruel bitch as always and Zoe heard Gabe moving around in the kitchen. When he finally popped into the living room and saw her, she looked at him in almost shame and shook her head a little, lowering her gaze, "Please don't say 'I told you so'.." her voice cracking as she broke down in tears.