Briseis (spoil_of_war) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2012-04-16 07:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | achilles, briseis |
Who: Briseis & Achilles
When: April 16th, the morning after this
Where: Achilles' apartment
What: Can you say 'what the hell did I do last night?'
Briseis slept deeply and without any dreams that she could remember, either the presence of Achilles chasing them away or - more likely - the exhaustion of their night keeping all thoughts at bay. It had been near dawn by the time they stopped touching each other, and Briseis' whole body felt on the verge of very pleasant collapse. They slept entangled, skin to skin, and only now in the late afternoon did Briseis stir, the sheets of Achilles' bed tangled around her legs.
Now, of course, it was easy to think more clearly about everything that had happened last night and exactly why she never should have let it happen. She rolled over to find out if he was awake behind her (or even still in bed at all).
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[info]chink_in_armor
2012-05-21 06:02 pm (local) (link) Track This
Achilles too had slept soundly, keeping Briseis' warmth nestled against him the entire night. The smell of her, her face pressed against his chest, her soft breathing---it all took him back to a time where she'd offered him the most peaceful days of his life. If he could, he would have bottled those moments and just stayed within the confines of that apartment until the rest of the world didn't seem so ugly.
He did get up before her, waking to see her soft face lay calmly against the sheets, her golden hair splayed against her pale skin. She was a beautiful sight, and he hadn't the heart to wake her. He knew with the morning brought her regret (and maybe a little of his own), but with Briseis there was little he could ever do to turn her away. She was an anchor.
Achilles had slipped into some jeans, chest still bare as he walked around the apartment while she slept. He lay back down on the bed, his fingers softly grazing her cheek before she woke with bleary eyes.
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[info]spoil_of_war
2012-05-21 06:13 pm (local) (link) Track This
Briseis smiled slowly at him and said, "morning." It was both familiar and unfamiliar to be naked beside Achilles and she hadn't woken up sufficiantly to deal with what it all was going to mean yet. Instead she asked, "did you sleep okay?"
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[info]chink_in_armor
2012-05-21 06:34 pm (local) (link) Track This
It was a surreal moment, one he wanted to cling to. His hand lowered, eyes low-lidded as he searched her face. "I slept peacefully."
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[info]spoil_of_war
2012-05-22 02:36 am (local) (link) Track This
"I'm glad," she told him, her voice warm and loving. "Achilles," she said a little more seriously, rolling onto her back with a sigh and moving her gaze from him. She wasn't sure exactly how to start what she needed to say.
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[info]chink_in_armor
2012-05-22 02:45 am (local) (link) Track This
He watched her under the heavy gaze of thick lashes, knowing without her saying a word where this was headed. They would always need each other, but Achilles had learned since their bittersweet reunion that Briseis was going to keep him just at arms length.
"What of you, my Briseis?" His own gaze dropped from hers, a hand laying itself upon her stomach idly.
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[info]spoil_of_war
2012-05-22 03:06 am (local) (link) Track This
She put her own hand over his, feeling them both rise as she breathed. "I slept well," she told him before turning her face to look at him. "You know this can't continue, don't you?"
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[info]chink_in_armor
2012-05-22 03:10 am (local) (link) Track This
It pained him to think of it. A strike to his chest that ran straight through. He was silent, clenching his jaw for some words that did not sound desperate or hurt. Without glancing over to her he just looked at their hands, feeling his own curl away with the nod of his head.
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[info]spoil_of_war
2012-05-23 11:29 am (local) (link) Track This
Briseis hated that she hurt him. (And there it was: the thing she'd been trying to find last night as to why this shouldn't have happened. It all boiled down to that. She would hurt Achilles and he didn't deserve that pain.)
Slowly she sat, running a hand through her messy hair until it got caught in the knots. "You know I love you," she promised him, and was almost instantly sure it was the wrong thing to say. But it was done now. "But anything more than what happened last night... I won't go well."
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[info]chink_in_armor
2012-05-23 11:43 am (local) (link) Track This
He sat up at that, his words lost. He was closing himself up again, even though he knew he'd been seeing Polyxena. It was best that Briseis kept her distance because his heart would always yearn for her. It was more painful then it was contentment. He had hope that one day it wouldn't be that way, bit Briseis was better suited to times now than he was. It made sense that she had grown beyond him.
"I know," he replied darkly getting off the bed to slip on his tank top. He didnt repeat her words, he shouldn't have to.
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[info]spoil_of_war
2012-05-23 12:02 pm (local) (link) Track This
Briseis, too, slowly drew herself out of the bed, walking out into the living room to collect her clothes. She dressed there instead of returning to the bedroom and once her clothes were on she buried her face in her hands a forced herself to take a few long breaths.
Her bag was... somewhere. God, she didn't even know where she'd put it. Briseis turned to look back to the bedroom and that walked in that direction, waiting in the doorway as she watched him. "Do you want me to go?" she asked him.
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[info]chink_in_armor
2012-05-23 04:22 pm (local) (link) Track This
"No," he said softly pinching the bridge of his nose. "Have breakfast before you leave." He stiffened, closing off his feelings. She was right, but as long as his heart had pinned he couldn't let her out of his head. "Wash up if you like." He hadn't bothered to think of the few things Polyxena left in his apartment that Briseis would find. Meanwhile, Achilles headed to the kitchen to prepare a morning meal.
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[info]spoil_of_war
2012-05-23 05:26 pm (local) (link) Track This
Briseis nodded and made her way to the bathroom. Pulling a towel off the rack to dry her hands, something fell down that had been caught behind it, and when Briseis bent to pick it up she discovered that it was a bra. For a moment Briseis thought it must have been hers but, no, because she was fully dressed again.
Staring at it, Briseis wondered whose it was and how long it had been lost here by whichever woman had left it. Briseis knew Achilles slept with other people - it wasn't as though they were together - but it was usually such a hidden topic between them.
So she put the bra on the shelf behind her so it could be seen in case the girl came back. She resolved, however, to say nothing about it.
Coming out she joined Achilles in the kitchen and sat down at the table. "It's going to be a nice day," she said after a pause and then smiled into her hand. "Wow," she said quietly. "That was incredibly awkward of me."
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[info]chink_in_armor
2012-05-23 10:51 pm (local) (link) Track This
He had prepared something simple. Eggs, toast and juice. He poured her a glass and started a fresh pot of coffee. They had danced around these rituals before, almost like that of a married couple. "Is there anything else you would prefer?" He took a seat down beside her, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing before pouring her a cup of that as well.
Achilles half smiled, keeping his composure and losing anything to say. He looked out the small window. The sun was out. "It is a nice day." This casual conversation was just tip-toeing around the real issues. It was difficult.
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[info]spoil_of_war
2012-05-28 01:34 am (local) (link) Track This
"No, this is good," Briseis said in regards to the food. She didn't really feel like eating though, even her stomach growled quietly. But if she didn't eat then she'd have to talk. So she poked at the things on her plate, moving them around with a fork.
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[info]chink_in_armor
2012-05-29 12:24 am (local) (link) Track This
"Eat," he instructed softly. He hadn't made food for her to swirl around with her fork. The uncomfortable Vibe had not disappeared since they woke.
"I am sorry, Briseis." He felt guilt, he honestly did and for more than one reason.
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[info]spoil_of_war
2012-05-29 11:18 pm (local) (link) Track This
Briseis ate, because maybe that would make things move a little more smoothly. When Achilles spoke again, Briseis looked at him and shook her head with a serious expression. "You've got nothing to be sorry for, Achilles."
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[info]chink_in_armor
2012-06-04 07:08 pm (local) (link) Track This
"I have plenty to be sorry for, Briseis," his voice was stern. He would not let her coddle him in this. He fixed a cup of coffee for the both of them, settling down in the seat across from her. "I've been led by your affections for a long time, hoping for far more than you ever deserve to give me. Now, when" he paused for the first time feeling that guilt of abandoning Polyxena even though their relationship was not a definite one, "I've been settled from you, I could not refuse you."
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[info]spoil_of_war
2012-06-05 01:47 pm (local) (link) Track This
Briseis dropped her gaze at his words, guilt wrapping tight around her guts. She should have been the one to stop this last night. She should have protected them both from what they'd wanted and what she'd known would only hurt him.
"I'm sorry too," she admitted quietly. "I came here to... God, I don't even know anymore why I came here, but I never wanted to fuck with your head." She looked up at him seriously, shaking her head a little. "That was never my intent."
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[info]chink_in_armor
2012-06-08 12:46 am (local) (link) Track This
It wasn't up to her to protect him, though she was always quite capable of trying. She saved him in other ways.
"No, do not put this on yourself. I allowed it as much as you offered." He starred past her, mind clouded with a number of thoughts. "I could have not given in. I have refused you before when you had no wits about you." When Eros had played with her heart. There was a heaviness now. "I am no fool. I understand what will never come of this. I've resigned myself to unhappiness as far as keeping you nearer to me than friendship. I've tried to bury myself elsewhere."