|Patrick Clark | Patroclus (borrowed_armor) wrote in nevermore_logs,|
@ 2012-07-23 16:29:00
|Entry tags:||helen of troy, patroclus|
WHO: Helen and Patroclus
WHAT: Getting to explain to the girlfriend
WHEN: Saturday evening
WHERE: Helen's place
WARNINGS: Talk of rape
Helen was going to leave him.
Pat was sure that the moment he explained what had been done to him, she would feel the same way he felt. Patroclus was sure, despite what Briseis said, that everything that had transpired between himself, Peitho and Hermes was somehow his fault. He couldn't even really process it yet because Patroclus didn't understand how to think about himself. He was a supporting character. He thought of everyone else first. And so Helen was going to know the truth. She was going to know he was a weakling who deserved what he got.
He headed over to her apartment in a state of dread. He wanted to go to her for comfort, but it didn't seem like that was even possible. He owed her the truth either way. He wasn't someone who could hide behind lies.
He knocked on her door, a frown affixed to his face.
Men did not leave Helen. Helen left them. And somewhere in the pit of her stomach Helen had this terrible feeling that she was losing Patroclus. To what (or who) exactly she had no idea. This was all speculation of course, but when she didn't receive romantic messages from her current beau she took it personally as a sign of trouble. There were no arrows or spells involved when it came to him. This was entirely their own doing and to be entirely honest, she had absolutely no desire of letting him go anytime soon. If she ever lost interest he would be the first to know. Because she wasn't afraid of hurting anyone's feelings.
She felt him long before he knocked and it took a great deal of control not to open the door before he even had a chance to knock.
Taking a few breaths to keep herself composed, she waited a few seconds before opening the door. (There was no need to seem too eager.) But the smile she initially greeted him with faded quickly. "Come in, love," she said. It felt strange not greeting him with a kiss.
Patroclus entered the room, hovering near the door because he wasn't sure if Helen would let him stay after he explained what had happened. "Helen...something terrible happened to me-" He ran his fingers through his hair and he frowned at her.
Helen felt uneasy about him not coming further into the apartment. Studying his face, she tried to figure out for herself what in the world was going on. What he could only explain to her face to face. "What? What happened?" There was genuine concern in her voice.
"I need you to know I love you," he said firmly, and then he realised that could sound incredibly ominous.
"It was...Peitho and Hermes. They...they hurt me."
Indeed it sounded very ominous to Helen. As soon as he said it she stood a little straighter and prepared herself for some admittance of unfaithfulness.
"What do you mean 'they hurt you'? What did they do?"
Patroclus groaned and he gave Helen a horrified look. He didn't want to talk about it again, but he knew he had to. "They-" Patroclus cleared his throat and he shuffled his feet. "They made me do things I didn't want to do. They forced me to- They made me sleep with them, but I didn't want to Helen. I'm so sorry," he sounded desperate and sad. "I tried to stop them and I couldn't."
As the words sank in it felt as though Helen was in a dream. This couldn't possibly be happening. She had devoted far too much time for Patroclus to go off and betray her. Perhaps her hold on him was breaking. "How-" she started, unsure of what to say. The great Helen, speechless. It was a sight to see. She was both angry and hurt. "They forced you...? How could they have forced you?"
He crossed his arms over his chest, incredibly uncomfortable. "Peitho is persuasion, Helen. It was like she...hypnotised me. And then she let me go and Hermes held me down. He's an Olympian. I didn't stand a chance."
That was all Helen needed to know. She just stared at him for what felt like several minutes. And then she turned very suddenly. Helen was doing something that was quite foreign to her. She was crying. "This is why I stay away from them. From all of them," she said angrily.
Patroclus didn't know if he was allowed to go to Helen so he hung back and hung his head. "I wasn't- I was in a bar, just thinking. She found me there. And I had been spending time each day devoted to Hermes too. Never again. He gets nothing from me ever again."
She kept her back to him for now, because she hated being seen like this. Helen was always composed. She was not weak. "They will pay." Before she said anymore she started toward the hall closet, threw it open forcefully and started throwing box after box into the hallway until she found the one she was looking for. "Where are they?" She was obviously not thinking straight, but right now Helen could only think of hurting them.
"Whoa-" Patroclus finally moved then, going to stand by her side. "Helen, stop. Stop. You can't- They're strong, Helen, and I don't want them doing to you what they did to me!" The thought made him so sickened, he turned white as a ghost.
From the box Helen pulled a gun. Whether he had known about it before or not didn't matter, she had to protect herself in this city and so she did. It wasn't the only one. "They need to pay for what they did to you. They had no right to touch you. You worship a god and this is what you get in return? They are worthless and they deserve to have their heads blown off."
Patroclus' jaw dropped and his eyes widened. "Helen-" He shouldn't have been shocked. She was Spartan. Of course she had a gun and a vendetta. "Helen, please." He reached out and tried to stop her. "I just- I need to- I need to know what's going to happen with us."
And he needed her not to be on Hermes' shit list.
Even in all her anger she wasn't shaking in the least. She had learned not to tremble in the face of danger, no matter how terrified she might be. And right now the thought of going up again Hermes was horrifying. "What?" she asked, surprised at his last statement. "What do you mean?"
Patroclus was terrified now. He had been scared a lot in the last 72 hours. "Are you going to leave me?"
Of all the things he had just told her, Helen found this the most shocking. "I'm ready to kill two gods because they forced themselves on you. Why on earth would I leave you?"
Patroclus finally let go of the breath he had been holding and he reached out to try to hug her. "Helen, thank gods. I thought you would hate me. I'm so sorry this happened. I hate myself for it."
As much as she wanted to push him away and storm out the door, she didn't. She let him use her as comfort. "It is not your fault. The gods play their tricks just to get a laugh." Her half-brother no less. She set the gun down on a hall table and looked him over, shaking her head. "I'm sorry this happened to you. I wish you had come to me sooner. You must have been so scared."
Patroclus breathed out and for the first time it really sank in what had happened to him. He didn't have to worry about Helen leaving him any more and now all he could think about was the fact that he had been utterly violated.
"Yeah," he said softly. "Don't feel so good either," he admitted. He let out another breath. "Feels a bit...hard to breathe."
Her hands brushed against his hair, moving gently to caress his face. "I know." Even though she felt very worried and angry and she was still thinking irrationally about hunting them both down, Helen knew that right now she needed to be here. That's why she didn't say that the moment she had the chance she would go god hunting.
"You will stay here for a while. I'm not taking no for an answer."
Patroclus didn't want to say no. He nodded and then he leaned his head against her shoulder. "Wouldn't want to be anywhere else."
Helen left the gun sitting on that table and didn't even bother picking up the mess she had made. It could wait. Patroclus needed her undivided attention. So she would play the part of devoted lover for now. "Good." She was about to move into the kitchen but then stopped, "Did they leave any marks on you?"
He bit his lip and then nodded. "A few bruises." It also hurt to sit but he didn't really want to talk about that. He pushed his sleeves up showing off the bruises on his arms. "Not...not too bad."
Helen looked over his bruises. They only fueled the fire inside her to go after the ones who did this. It showed on her face as her jaw clenched and her cheeks turned red. "I make no promise that I won't go after them," she warned.
"You have to be careful, Helen. If they hurt you it would break my heart." And at the moment it was pretty broken already.
Helen knew that. She knew that any steps she took to get revenge would mean pain. For herself. For Patroclus. She didn't want him dragged back into their sick games, but right now she felt no other way around it than to make them suffer. "When my father decides to show his face again, I'm going to tell him what his precious son did to you. They may be Olympians but they have no right to treat anyone that way. You did nothing to deserve it and if Zeus has any sense he won't let Hermes go unpunished." Her voice was cold and unforgiving.
Patroclus had no faith that Zeus of all people would punish someone for rape, but in order to keep Helen calmer, he nodded. He was too tired to argue anyway.
Helen sighed, happy not to have to say anymore about it. She would do whatever she could to help him. Right now she simply lead him to the kitchen where she set the kettle on the stove. "I'll make you some tea," she said quietly.