Natalie Godfrey (bornincrossfire) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2011-01-20 13:50:00 |
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Entry tags: | natalie godfrey, the red baron |
WHO: Natalie & The Red Baron
WHEN: Tuesday evening (2011-01-20)
WHERE: Conrad's apartment
WHAT: Sex, language
Natalie unlocked the door to Conrad's place and called out his name. Over the last few weeks she'd given up completely on the idea of knocking and waiting for an answer, considering that she'd had to drag him out of bed. But now he was actually acting alive again, even going out without her having to force it upon it. That was progress of the very best kind.
"I bring exotic gifts from the Philippines!" Natalie said when he came into view, tossing to him a paper bag of candy that she'd bought in Quezon City on her recent trip.
Conrad had just came from out of the bathroom. He had showered, shaved and eaten at least a bowl of cereal for the day. It was slow moving, baby steps really, but he was making some progress.
Pulling a t-shirt over his head he padded into the kitchen where Natalie now stood. She'd mentioned she'd come by, but he had honestly thought she'd have other things to do. She really needn't fuss over an old man.
Moritz bounded out greeting her happily with his tail wagging, barking softly because he thought she had some treats for him.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 03:34 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Another shower?" Natalie asked, feigning shock. "You'll give me a heart attack, Connie." (If she thought about it, she really shouldn't tease him. If she stopped to remember exactly why he was so depressed she realized it was just being nasty. But Natalie so rarely thought before she spoke outside of any professional capacity.)
She got down on her knees at Moritz attention and then scruffed his fur roughly, telling him what a good boy he was and generally getting him way too excited and hyperactive. She was lying on the floor with Moritz pulling on her shirt when she looked up at Con again and smiled. "Your dog is trying to undress me," she informed him with a grin.
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-20 03:58 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He ruffled a hand through his hair watching with a soft smile as Natalie rolled around with Moritz. When he patted his leg the dog bounced off Natalie and jumped towards his master.
He couldn't help but laugh lightly as she sat up, tugging on her shirt. "He's watched me so many times," he held his arms out in a shrug, "I guess he wants the attHe ruffled a hand through his hair watching with a soft smile as Natalie rolled around with Moritz. When he patted his leg the dog bounced off Natalie and jumped towards his master.
He couldn't help but laugh lightly as she sat up, tugging on her shirt. "He's watched me so many times," he held his arms out in a shrug, "I guess he wants the attention." It was the first time he'd said anything remotely lighthearted to her since the incident.
He was trying, it was just taking some time. It would take a lot of
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 05:21 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
With a playful smirk Natalie crawled towards him and then stayed there on her knees while she smiled up at him. "He knows his daddy's been getting a good deal."
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-20 05:34 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"He's jealous," he spoke rubbing Moritz lightly between the ears. "He doesn't like when he's left out."
Conrad sunk down so that he wasn't looking over her head, squatting. After a while he didn't say anything, he waited for the right time.
"Thank you, dear." If it hadn't been for her persistence he would still be covered up to his neck in bedsheets with stubble on his face, smelling worse than week old pizza.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 05:47 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Did it as much for me as for you," Natalie said, brushing it off. It was easier to pretend everything was fine. "What would I do without you around?" She winked at him.
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-20 05:51 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"What would you do?" he asked, his tone a little more serious as he sat down on the floor, Moritz following and putting his nose in the Baron's lap.
She had said a lot of crazy things the other day, whether just to get him motivated or because she meant them. It was very unlike Natalie when it had been certain to him a long time ago that pining for her was just a mirage in his head.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 05:56 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Natalie watched his expression for a moment and then dropped her eyes, knowing the question was more than just what he was saying. "I'm really glad you're okay," Natalie said quietly, reaching out and brushing her fingers against his, just lightly.
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-20 06:21 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He looked at her hand, his thumb running over her fingers that sat atop. His chest still felt heavy, sure that he could feel his eyes sting a little. He nodded, "I'll be okay," he whispered. He would always be okay, others wouldn't. Others that he'd outlive.
"You," he started another sigh as if he'd started to choke up again, "you said some daring things the other day. Not at all like you Natalie," those baby blue eyes looking at her.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 06:28 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Natalie looked at their hands instead of meeting his eye. She wasn't sure she could do it. She'd tried to avoid all this despite her feelings for him, because it all scared her so much. But almost losing him... things were different.
She had no idea what to say to his words though so eventually she just looked up through her eyelashes and gave him a smile far more shy than was usual for her.
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-20 07:37 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
She knew he wouldn't be here if not for her constant infatuation. It's what drew her to him. He would be nothing more than a poster boy on paper and history books still.
If only she'd let him be that guy she was so afraid of having. He'd never heard her speak like she had that day. He rubbed her hand again with his own. "Why did you say it? I'm just the past, a memory, why do you hang onto me so tight?" his voice was almost a whisper.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 07:43 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"You're not just my past," Natalie told him as she met his eye, sad that he could even think that. She wasn't going to say something corny like you're my future because that wasn't exactly very Natalie. She shrugged and when she took a breath that was supposed to be casual there was a shudder in it. "You're important to me, you know that."
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-20 07:49 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"I know, I know you think that," his eyes shifted from hers. He didn't know what he was searching for here. Once again their relationship had taken a strange and dramatic route.
"But," a heavy exhale of breath, "I shouldn't be here." He often thought that, wondering out of all the immortals out there, what had made him able to live again?
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 07:52 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Why does it have to be 'should', Con?" Natalie asked him with a frown. "But I think you do belong here. You were a hero, a man that people looked up to. Without you I never would have got into a plane. I never would have left England to see more. Without you I might have been this completely different person, a less sort of person." She touched his hands again, wanting him to understand how much of her was only because of him.
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dang that icon Nat!
[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-20 10:08 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
She put so much hope into him, a power that he never realized he possessed in the times before. He was a hero, someone the people had to look up to in a time that was devastating. She was reminding him of that.
His fingers twined with hers, he shook his head. "Then, that was my time Natalie. That was my days of glory. Now," he didn't know how to finish that sentence.
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She says 'you're welcome' :P
[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 10:11 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Now you're here and you just have to deal with it," Natalie told him with a little teasing smile, her fingers still brushing his. Just that touch sent shivers through her and she wanted more. "I don't feel like seeing you go anywhere."
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-20 10:17 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"I'm not who I was then." He was much older, his outer appearance had changed. Sometimes he wanted to make a stand, make a difference in the lives of others. "There was a time you didn't believe me." Sometimes he wished to go back to those times, maybe then his heart wouldn't beat so strongly for hers, though it was her love that kept him here.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 10:21 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Natalie gave him a lopsided grin. "And there was a time I believed in Santa Claus too," she told him. "We have to change a lot of beliefs with time."
She looked a little sad. "Why can't it be enough that you're just here with me?" she asked him quietly. "Why does it have to be that you're not in the middle of that war? I know it's not exactly as exciting not being in dogfights but... is there nothing here that you want?"
It was a trick question. They both knew he wanted her. They both knew that was what she wanted him to say. Her quiet and longing expression made it clear.
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-20 10:28 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"You know the answer to that," he said quietly his hand reaching to briefly touch her face.
"You..." he paused shaking his head. "You know that I stay," his eyes searched hers, "because of you." His forehead rested against hers, hand dropping from her face.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 10:33 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
If she'd thought about it with any logical process there would be no surprise as to why this all scared Natalie so much. She'd had plenty of boyfriends and even more casual flings, but no one had ever treated her like Conrad did. No one had ever said things to her like he did. She was so used to accepting whatever she got from men that when Con gave her absolutely everything it was overwhelming.
But Natalie couldn't really see that. She was too close to ever really get the problem.
She just knew that Con said he stayed for her and while her heart raced with excitement, some of it was just plain terror.
She let their foreheads rest together for a long few moments. "Just don't buy me flowers," she finally said. "They'll only die." It was the closest Natalie could manage to any sort of yes, I love you and I need you right then.
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-20 10:45 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"No more flowers," he said with the smallest of smiles, part of himself starting to tread back. She probably expected him to just be casual about this, to kiss her softly on the lips as he always did.
This time he didn't, hands far more eager to have her close to him as he pulled her face that fraction of a centimeter closer, lips opening for hers. He needed her as much as she wouldn't say.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 10:49 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
His hands on her face, Natalie closed the gap and kissed him, reaching up with her own hands to place one on his cheek and one on his neck. They were awkward there on their knees and Natalie shifted, just a little, so she could be closer to him as they kissed.
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-20 10:59 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Conrad leaned back on his back pulling away from that kiss, expecting her to follow into the more comfortable position.
Where did this leave them now. This was the most serious of talks that they'd had since he'd confided in her who he really was. It never went off without a bang that was for sure.
Moritz bounced around with the two on the floor. Once again he was being left out.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 11:02 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Natalie couldn't think sensibly right now. She had the feeling there should be more of a grown-up talk happening here but she was thinking entirely with her hormones already. She broke the kiss just long enough to say, "let's do the talking later. After."
And if he'd had any doubt of what the 'after' mean she was already pulling her shirt up over her head and tossing it aside.
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-20 11:15 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
His t-shirt followed landing on Moritz' head in which he whimpered and went to go lay down on the couch. Conrad had picked up where the dog had first left off when Natalie came in the door.
Hands braced against her hips, sliding up her sides while she played tonsil hockey with his tongue. It was the first time in a long time that she'd been over and done more than try to force feed him breakfast.
He needed the contact. He'd felt too dead the last few weeks.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 11:28 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Natalie moaned against him, pulling at the rest of their clothes. She needed the skin against skin as well. This, to Natalie, felt like a sign that he really would be okay. She tried not to think about if this sex means something different to the other times, although she knew it did. It was the usual lust and need but there was something else in it now.
Just don't buy me flowers. Was it going to be dating? Was it- Natalie didn't even know but Conrad's hands made her feel weak in the very best way.
By the time they hit the bedroom the clothes were gone, and it was just him pressed against her. She let her kisses trail down his body - too thin but she'd fix that soon enough - and all she wanted was to make him feel again. Life was worth living and at the moment she could only remind him of that with sex. (Natalie thought that was something definitely worth living for.)
On the bed Natalie pulled him close and arched against him, her lips barely living Con's as they made love. (A phrase she'd always thought was completely cheesy but she couldn't refer to what this was as just fucking. There was too much between them and they both needed each other too much right now.)
Afterward she lay still pressed against him, their bodies sticky and damp, Natalie's fingers tracing lazy circles across his chest as she caught her breath.
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-20 11:40 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He was eager as Natalie. That warmth, the feel of fingers, sweaty skin a pleasure that turned everything from the inside out. It hadn't ever felt like this before with her. Something was different. It made his heart race and toes curl in an entirely new way.
It made him feel alive again.
He lay there evening out his breathing, letting the dry air cool their hot skin. His head lay against her matted black hair, fingers curling into hers.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-20 11:42 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Natalie made a little sound of contentment and then moved her head from his shoulder just enough so she could kiss his lips and smile up at him lazily.
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-21 12:07 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"So," he rolled off his tongue which felt much too tired to even speak. She kissed him softly, his head still dizzy from the excursion.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-21 12:13 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
And here it came, the having to be a grown-up part.
Twenty-eight years old and Natalie was still rubbish at anything that constituted a 'relationship talk'.
"So," she said as well and then rested her head back on his shoulder, fingers returning to play on his chest while she thought of what to follow that with.
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-21 01:09 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Where does this leave us?" he asked her in all seriousness. Natalie needed to embrace this instead of running from him. Why she felt the need to think all men had to yell or abuse her to love her, he was determined to show her the opposite.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-21 01:26 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"In your bed?" Natalie suggested lightheartedly. Then she sighed. "I don't know," she said more seriously. "I mean, you know how I feel about you." And if he hadn't before then she'd gone and made it very clear the other day. 'My heart beats for you?' What kind of wankery had that been?
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-21 04:09 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Manfred smiled, a light laugh at her subsequent joke. His hand tangled in her hair, cheek resting against the top of her head.
He didn't want to push her into this though so often in the past he had done just that with being so honest. "What...what do you want, Natalie?"
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-21 04:38 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"I want you," Natalie admitted, watching her fingers on his chest. "That's all: I just want you." It was the most naked thing she'd said to someone she was sleeping with in her entire life.
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-22 02:16 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He kissed her atop the head, pulling her into a sweet embrace, kissing her lips next. "I want you too." That fake marriage proposal and ring hadn't been just for kicks and he knew she knew that. He was sincere about her, and now she'd just admitted the most sincere thing in return.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-22 02:19 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Natalie smiled at him, surprised by how content she was in his arms. She shouldn't have been though. Con had been her best friend for years now and she always felt safe around him. This was a different kind of safety. "So," Natalie said, her eyes on his, "how do we do this?"
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-22 02:22 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"I don't know," he said honestly. This wasn't the first time he'd been in love with someone, it was the closest to feeling so at ease though than he had in a long time.
"Be my girlfriend?" He didn't expect her to agree.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2011-01-22 02:25 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Heh," Natalie grinned, amused at the high-school sort of question that it was. "Girlfriend."
She kissed him again, running her hands through his hair. "I think I can do that."
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[info]the_red_knight
2011-01-22 02:34 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He really hadn't expected that reply, but he wasn't going to argue it. Natalie was usually so casual about these things, but for some reason he got the impression she was being completely honest here.
He simply smiled at her, returning that kiss.