Natalie Godfrey (bornincrossfire) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2011-05-04 13:44:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | natalie godfrey, the red baron |
WHO: Natalie and the Red Baron
WHEN: Tuesday afternoon (2011-05-03)
WHERE: Some busy Manhattan street
WHAT: Random meetings
WARNINGS: language, probably not much more
Natalie didn't care about things like her own well being but what she did care about was flying. Everything else she could lose, everything else she could let herself drift away from, but not being in the air. If she lost that on top of losing Con then Natalie would have no reason to even keep breathing.
So she sobered up. She ate and she went to work and she did what she had to do just to keep moving, just to keep flying. And the more she did it, the easier it was to pretend that everything was okay.
Natalie tried not to remember the way that the Red Baron had looked at her and the things he'd said. Because she'd deserved all of it. The one person in all the world that she'd looked up to more than any other and she had failed him so badly.
Don't think about it. Keep moving. Fight on and fly on to the last drop of blood and the last drop of fuel, to the last beat of the heart.
It was those words of his etched onto her hipbone that made her just keep going. He'd never said it to her, but it had still been the most important words that she'd ever known. To the last beat of the heart.
This meant she was even buying things that weren't alcohol, which required going to the store on Tuesday afternoon. She was halfway to walking to the one near Veronica's place when she spotted him among the crowd coming towards her. Her throat felt like it was closing up and she yanked the cigarette from her lips so she didn't choke on it. She didn't know what she was supposed to do if she ran into him so instead of either ignoring him or waving she backed herself up against the brick wall as people passed her and hoped that Con wouldn't see her at all.
Eyes on the cement, cigarette smoldering in hand, Natalie held her breath.
True to his word the Baron hadn't once contacted Natalie and she'd done just the same. It didn't make the hurt fade any less, nor the fact that allegations aside he wanted her back. He couldn't do that to himself, and what go through the same drama as before?
He wasn't so sure he could trust her again, though more than anything he just missed her.
With one bag in his hand he walked through with the crowd, he'd been doing it for ages. Fitting in with a group that seemed to grow past him. Part of Conrad would always be stuck in his true era. Where he'd lived and died young. He did capture a glimpse of Natalie even as she stood slapped against the wall willing him to pass.
His heart fluttered and he walked right by at first. It was a foot or so before he turned back. They'd inevitably run into each other, even if this city was bustled with enough people to keep them from ever having to. He couldn't be this cold, even to her. So when he stood near, he was glad to see she wasn't a mess. "Natalie," he said softly but firmly.
(Reply to this)(Thread)
[info]bornincrossfire
2011-05-03 04:24 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Natalie let out that breath.
"Damn," she said, kicking the footpath at her feet a little. "I was hoping I was invisible." She lifted her eyes slowly, her expression wary and guilty. "Hi, Con."
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
[info]the_red_knight
2011-05-03 04:31 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He wanted to be more stern but something in her reaction made him soften, no matter how hurt he was.
"That's reserved for super heroes and villains. You're not quite there yet." There may have been a little jest in his voice but looking at her did make his heart sore. "How are you, dear?" he asked quietly.
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
[info]bornincrossfire
2011-05-03 04:40 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Don't know. I'm getting pretty good at villian," Natalie countered gently, but her attempt at joking sounded forced and awkward. This was all not very comfortable.
She cleared her throat and toed the footpath again before looking up. "I'm okay," she told him with a little nod. 'Okay' would have to do. She was much better than she had been, after all. "You?"
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
[info]the_red_knight
2011-05-03 04:49 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"You've got some work left to do," there was a slight curve of his lips at the corners, but nothing that indicated a full smile. Not the usual soft smile that she was so familiar with.
"I've been well," he'd been better, but he didn't have the distraction anymore than Natalie had. Conrad didn't get to fly right now and that at times was just as heartbreaking.
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
[info]bornincrossfire
2011-05-03 04:51 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Good," Natalie said a little flatly and with a nod. "That's... good."
Shit. This sucked.
After a long pause she said, "This is awkward."
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
[info]the_red_knight
2011-05-03 05:00 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Part him was jealous of seeing her doing so well, as if he really had been erased from her memory. He hadn't meant to be so harsh, he'd been hurt, but now that hurt was just a pain that had dulled over time, but still tugged.
He nodded in agreement. "It is," he said softly not sure if that meant she wanted him to go or stay. "You must be busy, I should go." He didn't know that he wanted to now. He was strong he liked to hold his ground. He was just being polite.
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
[info]bornincrossfire
2011-05-03 05:12 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He started to move and Natalie wanted more than anything to just stop him. "Con, wait," she said, but then she didn't have anything to follow it up. Instead she just stood there opening and closing her mouth like an idiot. "I just- I-"
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
[info]the_red_knight
2011-05-04 05:51 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He paused in his step with a light sigh facing her again. What could she say now that wouldn't keep him from wanting to see her again?
He looked expectantly waiting for her to finish.
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
[info]bornincrossfire
2011-05-04 04:51 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
What could she even say? Mostly she just wanted to tell him how much she missed him, because for years he'd been her closest friend. She wanted to tell him again how sorry she was. But all of that just seemed pointless and difficult and painful so she just shook her head and made an expression that was almost like a tight smile but anyone looking at it could see how pained it was.
"Just... look after yourself, Con," she finally said quietly.