WHO: Natalie & The Baron WHEN: Sunday night (2011-11-27) WHERE: Con's place WHAT: Dinner of the innocent kind
When Natalie showed up at Con's apartment she had made sure that her outfit was casual - nice jeans, Persian green t-shirt, and her trusty old leather jacket. She didn't want to make out that she thought this dinner was a date between them. She just wanted Con to find a way to trust her so they could be friends again. She missed him, she missed all their time together.
Outside the door, Natalie drew a deep breath before knocking. In her hand she held a bottle of white wine for Con and although she'd smoked two cigarettes in the last hour, she really wished she had another right now.
But instead she plastered a smile on her face as a door opened.
It was the first time she'd been invited back to his place since they split ways. He too had dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt. If he put his hopes up too high too soon this would open a fresh wound.
Unfortunately, his cooking was off on the wrong foot, it was almost as if his old grievences with cleaning and cooking had reared thier head once again. Or his nerves were hitting him early. Conrad still adored Natalie, and it was evident.
Moritz skid across the floor with excitement the moment Natalie came in while Conrad fanned away the smoke over his stove.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-27 07:04 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select The sight of smoke in Con's apartment freaked her out and she came darting in towards the kitchen expecting disaster. But it was just cooking drama, an unfamiliar thing only because Con was so fastidious with his cooking - like he was with everything.
"Shit," Natalie said as she put down the wine bottle, watching him but not quite so concerned now. "Can I lend a hand or was this a plan?"
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[info]the_red_knight 2011-11-27 07:16 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select This was embarrassing considering he hardly ever burnt his food anymore. " There goes the veal," he said in a heavy sigh, disappointed that he either improvised with something else in the fridge or he made this work.
Stepping up on a kitchen chair he turned off the fire alarm and opened up a window.
"All part of the plan," he waved off with a laugh.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-27 07:20 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select "I'm glad to hear it," Natalie said and she grinned at him as she picked up a magazine and fanned the air to try and disperse a little of the smoke. The open window would help as well.
Strangely, it sort of felt like a good start to the night.
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[info]the_red_knight 2011-11-27 07:27 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select "And this is why I don't fly planes right now," he joked. He had had his license renewed but now it was finding the right company to take him back. After leaving the one he and Natalie had worked for for years, it hardly seemed fair to go back.
The smoke started to die down after a few minutes, "Everything else is ready except the main course." He'd see if anything was salvagable after they'd had some wine. He pulled down a few glasses for her to take while he popped the cork.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-27 07:30 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select "I didn't know they made pilots do the in-flight meals these days," Natalie said, sounding almost serious for a moment before the corner of her lip quirked up playfully.
She took the glasses from him and set them down. "I'm sure we'll manage," assured Con. "We're hearty folk after all."
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[info]the_red_knight 2011-11-27 07:39 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select "That's what you think," he leaned back against the counter with his glass of wine.
In the living room he already had a table set, other dishes out while the veal sat choked with black skin. "I'll see what I can salvage here in a minute."
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-27 07:45 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select Natalie took a sip of her wine, watching him with a small friendly smile. "Lucky I like it well done?" Natalie suggested gesturing to it with her wine glass.
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[info]the_red_knight 2011-11-27 07:53 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select He gave her a soft smile. "Wine, dinner and a beautiful girl. All I'm missing now is the music and a dance." He was being openly flirtatous again, it was a sign he was stepping forward.
He leaned off the counter setting his glass aside to slip on some lite music.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-27 07:56 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select I'll dance with you, she wanted to say. Natalie's natural instinct was to flirt back playfully with her friend, but she'd been the one who fucked up here. So instead she just smiled at him as he went to the music, watching him as he put it on.
"Been busy?" she asked him, leaning herself against the counter.
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[info]the_red_knight 2011-11-27 08:05 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select The music was softly played, what would have been popular during the first world war. He took her hand even if she didn't offer it, putting her glass aside. A hand sat against her back, the other curling into hers into the first few steps.
"Looking for work." He spun her gently, remembering a time they dressed in old school attire and went out. " I got my license," he said as she twirled back into his frame.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-27 08:12 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select For just a moment she'd tensed but then into Conrad's arms she'd relaxed, the music familiar to her from her own collection. (She'd always liked that he'd never found her love for old music strange. Then once she'd found out who he was, it was one of the things that had made sense.)
His hand on her back made her stomach flutter, the memory of nights long past coming back to her already even as she attempted to will them away.
"I knew you would," she said to him, her hand sliding across his shoulder as they danced slowly to the music, the other intertwined with his own fingers. "Nothing can keep you on the ground."
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[info]the_red_knight 2011-11-27 09:25 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select She fit so perfectly in his arms, his own memories getting away from him. She was the person his heart had chosen to fall for, scared or not it was hard to deny that. He'd missed feeling like this with her, so carefree.
He spun her softly again, letting her glide back to him. This time he held her even closer, cheek to cheek. "At least not forever, right?" His hand slid down her back, never once over stepping his bounds.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-27 09:32 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select Her Conrad, her Red Baron, how had she made such a mess of this and how was he letting her close enough to do it all over again. Pressed against the warmth of him like this, Natalie had forgotten all about dinner or anything but him.
"Oh Manfred," she whispered without drawing away, his name sounding almost helpless as it escaped her lips. She knew that this was a terrible mistake they were making.
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[info]the_red_knight 2011-11-27 09:39 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select She hardly ever called him by his real name anymore, he had always been Conrad to her. In those words he felt a warmth for her in his heart that had been a big black void since she made this messy.
His eyes shut softly, just enjoying her closeness, thinking of nothing else. It was impossible to think of anything else by how much he had missed her. His heart wad letting go faster of the scars she left than his mind was.
Eventually the song stopped but he kept dancing with her in that slow semi-circle.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-27 09:43 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select One of them had to draw away, but it took a long time for Natalie to be able to do it; she could have contentedly remained there in his arms, dancing in the silence with Conrad.
So slowly she drew back from him but found herself pausing, stopping still within his arms so she could look up and meet his eye. Natalie's fingers were still in his, his hand still warm on the small of her back.
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[info]the_red_knight 2011-11-27 10:21 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select His cheek still rested to hers just before she pulled away, eyes drawn deeply to that gaze. He drew his hand up her back with the softest of caresses, kissing her cheek before there was too much space between them.
His heart had never been this open for someone. Not in the past, not in the present or the future. Not even his ex-fiance had pulled this much passion out of him. Natalie was his soul-mate.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-27 10:50 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select Oh Con, Natalie thought as he kissed her cheek, you're such a foolish old man. Couldn't he see where this was heading? Couldn't he see the danger he was putting his heart in all over again with her?
When she spoke, her voice was barely a whisper as she kept her eyes on his. "I don't want you to get hurt again."
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[info]the_red_knight 2011-11-27 11:27 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select She'd grown in the last few months, felt good about herself, and yet she still did not understand the value of who she was. Not when in those few words she thought she would do to him what she had before. He dropped his hands from her, giving her the space she'd stepped back for.
"Do you think, " he paused shaking his head, "so little still that you would do that again?" He wasn't sure he could be just a friend to her again, he cared too och.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-27 11:31 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select Guilty, Natalie dropped her gaze to the floor with a frown. When she looked up again her brows were furrowed, sadness painting her features.
"I'm the still the same woman who I was then," Natalie reminded him. "I'm still the woman who cheated on you."
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[info]the_red_knight 2011-11-27 11:39 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select He was already tired of this conversation, they'd had it so many times before just in different words. "Were you lying in having me think you'd changed?" He didn't want to ruin this wonderful night already, but it was inevitable place they would fall.
His own eyes dropped to the floor, head shaking back and forth. "I can't be just your friend Natalie."
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-27 11:46 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select Did she tell him that she'd changed? She remembered saying that she wanted to earn his trust, but she tried desperately now to remember what else she'd told him.
"Maybe the only change is knowing now how much I can hurt the one person who doesn't deserve it," she finally said. "I won't lie and say I don't want you - because I do - but I also won't lie and say that I'm suddenly a good person."
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[info]the_red_knight 2011-11-27 11:51 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select Change was not overnight, he knew this as well. It took years once he'd come back to be the Baron he was today, nothing like the brash and arrogant man he'd been in the past, even if sometimes that 26 year old still showed his face.
He tightened his jaw, a lump in his throat, not quite sure what else he could say. He loved her, god help him he loved her, and that just wasn't ever going to change. He'd always hoped one day he would find that, and her fascination with him had only made that stronger.
He leaned against the back of the couch, needing some leverage should his legs feel like they would give out from under him. He shook his head at least acknowledging what she admitted. It was more than she'd been able to before.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-27 11:55 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select Natalie leaned back against the sideboard behind her. "Sixteen year old me would tell me to work this all out," she said after a minute, shaking her head. "She'd say that you're the Baron and so nothing should stop me from getting with you." She sighed, raking a hand through her hair in frustration and then looked at him sadly. "I still love you, Con. It's not supposed to be so complicated."
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[info]the_red_knight 2011-11-28 12:00 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select "And twenty-six year old me wouldn't have paid the attention he does now," he was being honest. If felt all wrong without her in his life, because for the past four or so years it was as if she'd always been there.
"Should I let you go, Natalie?" he asked half-breaking his heart to ask. "Let you love The Baron and leave Conrad behind."
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-28 12:07 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select Natalie pulled herself up to stand, walking over to him again and looking up at him. She shook her head, even though it was a little unfair to tell him 'no' in this instance.
"I love Con more than I ever loved the Baron," she told him. "Who you were then... I admired him, I worshiped him. But.. the man you are now, I love him. He's flesh and blood and I don't want to let him go."
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread) *falls over in a spasm* [info]the_red_knight 2011-11-28 12:15 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select He took her hand again, lacing his fingers into hers. His heart felt in his stomach. She was right wasn't she? Somewhere along the way he'd become Conrad. He was still the Baron, but he was not the same man he was then.
A sucked in a breath and released it slowly. "I was in love with you when I first met you. You're spark, your youth," there was a small smile. Was it worth to fall again?
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-28 12:21 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select She drew their hands towards her and kissed his knuckles softly before looking up at him with a small smile to match his. She didn't know what would happen here between them anymore.
"I won't ever lie to you," was all she could promise him. "Not again."
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[info]the_red_knight 2011-11-28 03:47 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select He wouldn't scold her this time, he simply nodded, squeezing the hand she held.
"What now?" he asked softly, stroking her cheek with his other hand.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2011-11-28 03:57 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select "I guess it's up to you," Natalie told him slowly, her fingers stroking his. "You don't have to even decide anything now: I'm not really going anywhere. When - if - you decide you can trust me again, I'll be around."
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread) SEE I'M AWESOME RIGHT? LOL [info]the_red_knight 2012-01-10 06:41 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select He rested his head against her forehead. "The truth is I miss you. I miss us." His heart was still scarred but it would heal. He had the time for it to heal. All the time in the world for it to heal. The truth was he needed her.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2012-01-10 07:05 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select "I do too," Natalie admitted with a small sad smile. "But do you trust me enough to give us another chance?"
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[info]the_red_knight 2012-01-10 07:08 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select Conrad took a deep breath, listening to the sound of his heart beat and not the pressing, nagging thought in his head that he could end up hurt again.
For a while he sat there silent, contemplating her question.
"I'm willing to try."
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[info]bornincrossfire 2012-01-10 07:16 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select With a tender and wary hand, Natalie reached up and pressed her palm against his cheek. Her expression was serious. "I love you."
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[info]the_red_knight 2012-01-10 07:20 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select He believed her, like he had before. Natalie didn't just throw those words around freely.
He closed his eyes against her touch with a nod. She knew his feelings without him ever saying them.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2012-01-10 07:25 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select Leaning up, Natalie kissed him then. It was tender and delicate and as she did it she silently promised that she wouldn't do what she had done again. She wouldn't be cruel and she wouldn't push him away. She wouldn't sabotage everything through fear.
She didn't know if she could keep that promise. She hoped that she could.
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[info]the_red_knight 2012-01-10 07:35 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select Conrad accepted her kiss. She'd never have someone that adored her as much as he did her, that treated her right. He wanted Natalie to truly believe that she could have that.
He pushed away that pressing thought that she might fail in her promise, but the optimistic part refused to think that way.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2012-01-10 07:42 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select When Natalie drew back from that kiss she didn't go far. Meeting his eye she asked, "do you want me to stay tonight?" She didn't know if he wanted to begin this new relationship of theirs right now or if he needed time to think about it.
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[info]the_red_knight 2012-01-10 07:57 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select It would he better if for them if she went home. If she didn't stay so quickly after establishing what they would be now. He shouldn't have agreed, but he did.
"Stay," he said softly against her lips.
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[info]bornincrossfire 2012-01-10 08:19 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select Natalie nodded, kissing Conrad again as she wrapped her arms around him. She felt like she could breathe him in completely and here, kissing him, she felt right
"Are we going to have dinner?" she asked him, remember that that had been why she'd come here.