Natalie Godfrey (bornincrossfire) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2012-06-04 13:30:00 |
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Entry tags: | natalie godfrey, the red baron |
Who: The Red Baron and Natalie
What: Boyfriend and girlfriend woes. Natalie is paranoid and the Baron is still a young brat.
When: Monday night (2012-06-05)
Where: Local restaurant in Little Italy, then the walk back home/Baron's apartment
The Baron's face still shone his young skin without wrinkles or age. His frustration in this form was coming to the surface now that it was well over a month or so since he'd turned into his old suit. He'd grown to love it, but as the next few weeks flew by he was close to his first flight since the accident in Germany at least a year ago. He couldn't go like this. His license had a completely different paint job, this wasn't going to fly. It had pressed on his mind long enough, and that defiant young temper was still breaking through on his evenings out with Natalie. He had not fixed things with his daughter, which may have been why this face still stuck.
Natalie and he were out for a date in Little Italy. The sun had just started to sink under the night shade giving a glowing hue across the sky. It was a nice backdrop as they sat outside the restaurant waiting for their meal. The Baron was somewhere else inside himself, which had distanced he and Natalie a little. Not enough to cause an issue, but enough to make her paranoid should she think anything else.
He sipped his cappuccino while they waited for dinner. He watched the colors bounce off the sky and watched with curious blue eyes. He missed the Homeland. Even moreso now in this form. It was almost as if his body ached to be back home. He wasn't suited for this time at all. Not as Manfred.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 04:55 pm UTC (link) Track This
The fact that Natalie had never been in a relationship that had really worked meant she wasn't good at working out how to be a grown up about it all. She felt like everyone she saw on the TV at her age were proper adults and even though she had a job and an apartment and all the rest of it, she was just masquerading. She didn't feel much different about herself than she had when she was twenty.
So looking across the table at the Red Baron, Natalie found him inscrutable. He seemed to be keeping things from her, keeping himself from her and she didn't quite know how to fix that. Theirs was supposed to be a good relationship, one that actually worked, unlike all the others she'd entered into.
But maybe there was no such thing as a Good Relationship. Maybe it was true that TV and movies lied about the possibility of such things. (Natalie had certainly had enough affairs with married men that the whole idea of a happy married life was shot. She most certainly didn't believe in that.)
Resting her chin on her hand, Natalie finally asked, "what are you thinking about?" She didn't expect much of an answer, but the silence was getting uncomfortable. They didn't used to have uncomfortable silences all that much but now they seemed to be so frequent.
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 05:09 pm UTC (link) Track This
He closed himself up inside, more depressed than he ever remember feeling. Everything felt like just yesterday, and that pain against his chest was as if he was having a heart attack each morning. He was quiet and volatile now. It was a side he had grown out of in the last years of his young life. It was a side that as Conrad, the Baron hardly ever had surface. As a young man again everything changed. In so many ways they had flipped sides. He was still a gentleman, but there was something different with this face. All he wanted to do now was fly high, forget about everything as the wind hit his face.
A breeze shot by and he was pulled out of his daydream. He bit his lip, tasting the swell of skin and coffee. "Thinking of the Homeland." His accent was still thick. Unless one was fluent in German, sometimes his words were harder to understand, his language was far more harsh than it had been as Conrad.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 05:40 pm UTC (link) Track This
Natalie reached out her hand across the table to take his, wanting his attention on her instead of wherever it was wandering off to. "We should go there together," she told him. "I can manage to get a few days off somewhere, I'm sure."
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 05:46 pm UTC (link) Track This
He was still off somewhere inside his mind, in another time. His eyes were verging on tears. There was so much to live for and yet he felt like a caged bird. He was struggling on a tight rope.
Manfred's eyes eased from her hand to her face with thin lips. "Only a few days." He knew what risk he'd put himself and others in before by selfishly staying longer than he was able.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 05:49 pm UTC (link) Track This
"Just a few days," Natalie assured him with a nod, knowing what he was thinking about. "You can take me around the old homestead, show me the things you remember from when you were young."
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 05:58 pm UTC (link) Track This
He raked a hand over his neck with a needed sigh. He could feel his heart pound again a little to quickly. It had nothing to do with hormones, just the longer he stayed like this the more painful the old wound had become since the day of his anniversary. The sweat even beaded against his neck as if the sun was shining on him alone.
Manfred pulled her hand to his lips with a gentle kiss atop the soft skin. "Ein wahrgewordener Traum." He was sure since she was little she had imagined such things.
[ooc: ein wahrgewordener traum = a dream come true]
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 06:13 pm UTC (link) Track This
Natalie understood only the word 'true' in that but she smiled at him anyway, the touch better than anything he could have said. His moods were unpredictable these days and Natalie was trying hard to keep on the right side of him. She didn't like his temper when he showed through. It was still so unexpected from Conrad.
"It'll give us time to forget about everything bad," she said to him and then grinned. "And you can see if there are any old blokes who tell you you look like the Red Baron."
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 06:17 pm UTC (link) Track This
His temper was very German when it shined through. Heavy and almost draining with every word. Half the time if they ran into arguments he spoke in German because it was easier to get his feelings out then masking it with English words.
"Has it been so bad?" he asked with the twitch of his lip, dropping her hand as that tinge on the back of his neck grew clammier. He flagged down the waitress to insist upon their meal and if she could bring him another cloth napkin. He was about to dose it his water glass.
He spoke so quickly it was difficult for the girl to understand at first. She nodded but the Baron could tell she wasn't comprehending. "Do you not understand me?"
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 06:23 pm UTC (link) Track This
"It's been okay," Natalie promised him. She worked hard to not let him know how that temper could terrify her. He dropped her hand though and it felt personal. She drew it back to herself without shifting her expression.
"Sweetie," Natalie coaxed him, reaching out again, not wanting anything to turn into a scene here. She looked at the waitress. "Could you please bring us another napkin?" She didn't repeat the part about demanding where their meal was. It would come when it was ready.
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 06:42 pm UTC (link) Track This
Sometimes it was almost like he was losing his understanding of English words. Translating in and out of his German tongue was hard to do sometimes. He had to stop and think and slow down. At times like this when his stress was a little elevated it was difficult to do.
He shot Natalie a look. "Just okay she says. That's a little foreboding." He could still pick up on her gestures, and he was being a little cocky at mocking her. Pulling out his cigarette carton he pressed one to his lips to light up.
Raking his hands over his neck again he stripped his leather jacket off. It was cooler out, but he felt like he was burning up. He threw a few curses of German under his breath. This was definitely keeping his blood pressure raised. "Where's our food?" he said to Natalie with a thick tongue.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 06:46 pm UTC (link) Track This
"There's nothing foreboding," Natalie assured him, smiling for him and unsure how to read his look even though he could still read her. "Things have just been tense for you, was all I meant."
"Cooking, I assume," was what Natalie told him, watching him with concern. "You're freaking out, Con. Just breathe, okay?"
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 06:51 pm UTC (link) Track This
"Tense is an understatement." He grinned flicking the lighter a few more times until he managed to lite the cigarette.
"It's hard to breathe. You don't feel as if you're having a heart attack every given day." He wasn't going to be forgiving about that. It was almost as if he were attacking her with that statement though he wasn't mad at anything really other than he just wanted the casual ease of his life again. It was too upset right now as if he were in war all over again. Where had his calmness gone?
The waitress brought the towel and he dunked it into the water just as quickly, slapping it on his neck. His hands were shaking now even as he held his cigarette. It was almost as if he was having the after effects of the bullet wound, not that he'd have survived it before. It was the adrenaline rush of being up in the air with a previous concussion that had him not thinking clearly.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 06:59 pm UTC (link) Track This
His tone was harsh and Natalie looked away with a sigh, paying her attention to people walking in the distance as she lit up a cigarette of her own. She didn't know how to deal with this version of her boyfriend. She didn't know how to calm him down and she didn't know how to keep him near. Truth be told she was sometimes afraid of him, but she was even more afraid of the idea of losing him.
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 07:05 pm UTC (link) Track This
A few long drags of his cigarette and the rest of his coffee he was able to feel less tense. He chewed on the inside of his lip. "Das tut mir Leid." She was learning about all the bad traits Manfred had as well as the good. He may have been a hero, but he wasn't looking very heroic from her end.
"Sometimes it's as if I'm even losing my ability to speak with you. In English I mean." It put up a giant roadblock, though he knew she understood some of it. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
[ooc: Das tut mir Leid = I am sorry for that]
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 07:12 pm UTC (link) Track This
"Nothing's wrong with you," Natalie said gently, reaching out to brush his face gently with the backs of her fingers. "It's just different. I still love you though, and I still want to be with you, whatever happens."
She did worry about the language barrier though. What if he lost the ability to speak English altogether? Natalie knew nothing more than a few phrases in German and her attempts to learn in the past hadn't gone very well. She supposed if it came down to it she'd just have to try harder.
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 08:55 pm UTC (link) Track This
"I'm not the one you fell for." To him the different face meant a different person when he was really just in different facets of his personality. Nothing had changed inside of him that had never been him in the first place.
The waitress snapped back around to refill their drinks. "The dinner should he out soon. Sorry for the wait. Can I get you some bread?" She focused on Conrad as he was the one who seemed so rattled earlier. She was pulling out her best smile and manners. She wanted a good tip, and there was no denying his handsome face.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 09:30 pm UTC (link) Track This
"Don't be silly," Natalie chided him, "of course you are. You're just going through a little something right now." Which was an understatement, but she supposed for immortals this wasn't the biggest or worst sort of thing that could happen.
Natalie took the beer that had been brought out to her - her second of the night, along with a few shots of vodka earlier; it seemed Natalie was falling back into bad habits of late - and then shook her head at the woman, feeling a little offended at the way the waitress watched Conrad and not her. Women always paid attention to Conrad, no matter what face he was wearing, and sometimes it bothered her more than other times. While she walked on eggshells around Conrad the attention of other women - and the attention he seemed to pay back - got under her skin. "We're fine," she told the waitress, chilliness evident in her tone.
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 09:58 pm UTC (link) Track This
"A little something that has no expiration date as far as I know." It got under his skin the think if they would make it through this. Though, she more than owed him for her betrayal.
He covered her drink with his hand. "Go slow please?" He didn't want her drunk by the end of the meal. He'd noticed some of her habits coming back and he didn't want to go there again. It didn't stop him from ordering himself a beer.
The waitress gave a nod. Her eyes still on Conrad. He may or may not have looked as she walked off, but for Natalie innocent flirting could be detrimental. He'd become more chatty and flirtatious with women. He didn't even call her 'dear' as often as he used to.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 10:04 pm UTC (link) Track This
Natalie clenched her jaw to bite back any comment there and put her drink back down. Then he watched the waitress walk away, eyes lingering on her and Natalie scoffed quietly, her lip curled into a quick snarl. "Really subtle, Con," she snapped.
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 10:12 pm UTC (link) Track This
Conrad lit another cigarette after snubbing the previous one out on the ground. "What are you talking about?" He said with his own clipped tone.
There was that uncomfortable silence again so he waved at her for a response. "You obviously have something to say, so say it." It had been a lingering force for weeks.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 10:38 pm UTC (link) Track This
"You," she clarified, slumping back in her chair. (Back was safer. Back was distance.) "You and waitresses, you and shopgirls, you and fucking horsemen of the fucking apocalypse. You don't even try and keep it on the lowdown anymore."
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OOC
[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 10:43 pm UTC (link) Track This
New thread
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 10:42 pm UTC (link) Track This
He leaned forward, elbows on the table, giving her more attention than it may have seemed in a long time. He couldn't believe she was even saying---"Are you suggesting what I think you are? What do the Horsemen have to do with this?'
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 10:48 pm UTC (link) Track This
"Famine," Natalie said to him, shaking her head as if she couldn't believe he didn't get it. "You think I don't notice you flirting with her? You think I'm going to try and compete with a fucking goddess? I can't compete with a bloody horseman who knew you back in the day!" She ran a hand through her hair. "And the worst part is I don't even know if you're doing it to punish me. You said you forgave me but now I don't even know."
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 11:16 pm UTC (link) Track This
He looked at her in disbelief. "You are honestly going to even suggest that I have any feelings for Famine. I knew her, I didn't have an affair with her. Not then or now." He was getting angst, his accent was getting thick.
"Punish you? Natalie, you're talking crazy."
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 11:36 pm UTC (link) Track This
"Fine," Natalie said sharply, raising her hands in surrender. "Just forget it. Flirt with whoever you damn well want."
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 11:41 pm UTC (link) Track This
"Do you think after what I've been through with you that I would be that spiteful?" He wasn't aware of how often he did it it how it hurt Natalie, but he wasn't exactly as humble about it anymore. The young blood brought out a rebellious side that Conrad had rarely showed. Conrad was the old man, Baron was the youth.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-05 11:46 pm UTC (link) Track This
"I don't know anymore," Natalie said to him, crossing her arms tightly across her chest. "I can't predict what you're going to do next. I can't work out if you even want me around half the time, so maybe you should go fuck the horseman."
She grabbed for the cigarette pack on the table.
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-05 11:54 pm UTC (link) Track This
"Like I can control this?" He pointed at his chest. "This is who I am Natalie. The good and the bad. But I forgot you didn't know me then. Not personally. Not as the twenty-year old Manfred. I can tell you don't like what you see." He stood up, throwing form cash on the table. He was ready to leave if she was going to accuse him like this. He was strong, but that hurt feeling hit again and he could sense himself recklessly crying out of anger.
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whoa, let's try not a laughing icon...
[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-06 02:22 am UTC (link) Track This
His sudden movement made Natalie flinch back quickly, wincing in preparation, but he was only throwing down the money.
She'd done this badly. She'd let her mouth run out of control and she'd hurt him. People were looking at them now, whispering to each other or just studiously looking at their own meals and pretending they saw nothing. She should have said she was sorry but her mouth was dry and she couldn't make herself do it. Maybe that was because she was sorry about the way she'd said things, but not completely about what she'd said.
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Hahha.
[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-06 02:40 am UTC (link) Track This
Natalie forgot, immortal or not--he had always been and still was a man. He held no special powers, no super-human strength, not even perfect at flying. He was simply a man with a story.
He was frustrated now, completely losing his appetite. He had enough going on inside his head, not to mention the craziness going on with his physical self. It seeped from the inside out, there was nothing he knew to do to fix this either. For all he knew this could be permanent. Her selfish worries were not helping.
His long legs stumbled over the chair as he tried to back out of this. He wasn't feeling heroic. "When are you going to learn Natalie that not everyone is out to get you. I'm the last person that would be dishonest with you." She could trust him, whether or not he flirted with other people. He wouldn't abuse it.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-06 02:51 am UTC (link) Track This
Natalie looked up at him from where she sat, not having the words to make this better. Instead what she said, in a small voice, was: "I'm scared of you, Con. I don't-" But she didn't know where she was even going with that sentence and she shook her head.
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-06 02:56 am UTC (link) Track This
"What?" She'd never said that before. Ever. He'd always been the one to dry her tears when she'd come home with a bruised face. He was the one she called when she was lonely. He was the one that gave her a glass of alcohol when nothing else seemed better.
He turned to look over his shoulder, facing her again. "Ängstlich?"
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-06 03:03 am UTC (link) Track This
Ängstlich? No, she couldn't remember that word, but from his tone she could pretty much work out what he was asking her.
Guilty, Natalie couldn't look at him. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I shouldn't have said that."
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-06 03:07 am UTC (link) Track This
She turned away and he stepped forward, crouching just at the base of her chair in front of her, hands on the arms. "Why would you say it?" That voice was not as harsh. His eyes still held traces of water, not completely shaken from his frustration, but he would push it aside long enough to get through this. It wasn't really like him to give in and give up.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-06 03:10 am UTC (link) Track This
"Please, forget I said it," Natalie begged him quietly, the pleading clear in her eyes. "I'm sorry I accused you of cheating. Everyone knows that's the fucked up sort of thing I do, not you. I'm just PMSing or something. I'm sorry that I'm being a massive bitch about all of this," she said, taking his hand in hers. "I love you and I should be better than this when you're going through so much."
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WAAAAAAAHHHHHH. They make me so sad Circe....
[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-06 03:17 am UTC (link) Track This
"I won't forget you said it." He was far more sympathetic now. They'd just played out a scene that put any soap opera to shame, other tables still looking in distaste or curiosity.
He took her hands in his, kissing her fingers. He didn't hate her anymore for what she'd done to him, in fact the younger side of him was able to let it slide more easily. He wanted to move passed it long enough that it had started to mend that brokenness she'd left him in. She was the very reason he was even still here right now, he couldn't let it go.
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our baaaaabiiiieeees!
[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-06 03:25 am UTC (link) Track This
She hoped that he would forget though, that he'd let what she'd said get lost. But she knew it was out there now and he was unlikely to ever forget. She should have kept her mouth shut.
Natalie wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face against his shoulder for a moment. "I'm sorry," she said again as she hugged him.
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-06 03:34 am UTC (link) Track This
They had something stronger built than this. They'd been friends for so long. Her admiration gave him something to build up.
"Ich liebe dich," he whispered against her cheek, which he kissed sweetly after.
This shouldn't have been such a public affair, but he didn't much care for how he was presented to the world right now. All that mattered right now was Natalie.
He'd forgotten about the food that the waitress now placed on the table, completely at a loss as to what was going on at this point.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-07 03:58 am UTC (link) Track This
Natalie drew back from the hug and squeezed his hand. "You still wanna eat here?" she asked. "Or should we just pay and get the hell out of here?"
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-07 04:28 am UTC (link) Track This
His boyish blue eyes jumped off her face. It was one of those moments where the whole world was looking from the outside in. He hardly ever felt like such a spectacle.
Fight and make-up. It's what they did. His appetite was definitely not on food anymore.
He stood from his crouched position, straightening himself up and letting the odd looks roll off his back like water. "I'd like this to go," he told the waitress who had just emptied her hands.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-07 04:40 am UTC (link) Track This
They hadn't made themselves overly popular here. Natalie didn't think they'd come back for a long while. Natalie stood as well, giving the waitress an apologetic smile.
"You want to pay while I bring the bike around?" she asked, her voice low enough only for him. (Natalie had stopped offering to pay for things around Conrad. He had those old fashioned manners and it was just easier to let him and buy the things when he wasn't there.) "We can go home instead of putting on a performance for the village idiots."
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-07 05:15 am UTC (link) Track This
"Don't keep me waiting too long," he own voice matching her low and playful tone.
He pulled his wallet out of the leather jacket, fishing out the cash and placing it on the table before finishing off the beer he wasn't ready to leave half full. With the bottle still in hand the waitress returned with their food boxed and bagged. He gave a bow to the rest of the gaping faces. "You're welcome for the entertainment this evening," he gave a cocky smile just as Natalie pulled up with the bike. He motioned his fingers in the shape of a gun, clicking it's trigger with a wink towards Natalie.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-07 11:41 am UTC (link) Track This
Natalie went around the corner to where she'd parked, reminding herself as she walked to take a few deep breaths. The Baron's anger had dissipated now, for which she was grateful, and she wanted to do anything but get him angry again. One day she was going to make him too angry, and Natalie didn't know what would happen to them after that. Con had spent so much time trying to talk her out of men who were bad to her, but but if he turned into one of those men? Would Natalie even have the strength to turn away?
There was a tattoo on her hip that said she probably wouldn't.
With her helmet on, Manfred couldn't see that she didn't smile back at his little show as she handed him the other helmet, waiting until he was on behind her before she moved out into traffic. The ride gave her time to gather herself together and she was glad they'd rode instead of taking Con's car. She didn't think she could make small talk right then anyway.
At his place she parked out the front, pulling off her helmet and shaking her hair out before smiling at Manfred. "Microwaved expensive Italian time, yum yum."
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ooc
[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-07 02:46 pm UTC (link) Track This
New thread! They break my heart with their drama
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[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-07 02:45 pm UTC (link) Track This
There was tension. He knew that it wasn't going to go away so easily. He wasn't used to his old ways, not when he'd had the war to grow out of them. He wondered if his relationship was becoming a sport, just something for him to pass the time---but the Baron knew better. Natalie was the only reason he was still breathing, and in more ways than one.
The drive through night air on the bike cleared his senses, which these days kept getting muffled. He hated putting Natalie through this. To know she was even questioning his actions hurt. They needed to get through this because he wasn't sure he could survive thos in on piece. He'd end up alone again, and his existence depended on people like her.
They came inside his sanctuary, which had reverted to his old habits of not wanting to be so orderly. Where the Baron was usually more rigid with keeping things just so, he'd lost a little of that.
Sitting the food on the counter he pulled her arm softly to rest her softly against him. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
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[info]bornincrossfire
2012-06-08 12:30 pm UTC (link) Track This
"What for?" Natalie asked with a soothing smile on her lips, resting against the warmth of him. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."
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I'm late, I'm late, I'm LATE! :(
[info]the_red_knight
2012-06-21 05:07 pm UTC (link) Track This
"For this," he waved around, letting his arms slink on her waist. "I'm losing myself," he whispered, kissing her gently on the neck. He swayed them both back and forth to an invisible song, holding her as tightly as he could. "Am I worth this for you?" he asked, feeling a little bit of his old self slide in for at least a second.